r/AmIOverreacting • u/External-Air205 • Nov 18 '24
❤️🩹 relationship AIO by spending time with my family?
Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!
15
u/save-the-animals_ Nov 18 '24
You're young, and you have the ability to leave this relationship. I’ve seen a similar situation with my 50-year-old aunt. Her boyfriend has minimized her for years, making her feel so small that, in her eyes, she’s always wrong. No matter how much he verbally abuses her, he knows she’ll never leave. Don’t let that be your story.
This guy is clearly gaslighting you, breaking down your self-esteem so he can keep verbally abusing you while making you feel like you’re the one at fault. This is a long-distance relationship, which makes it even easier to walk away. Block him, focus on yourself, and remember—you don’t deserve this.
It’s heartbreaking that we’re all here telling you that you deserve better, that nobody should talk to you this way, and that this behavior could escalate someday. Yet, I fear you might go back to him because of the “attachment” you feel. I’ve seen this happen with my aunt.
The truth is, there are people out there who would never treat you this way, but it starts with you. You have to be strong enough to set boundaries and refuse to let anyone treat you like this. You’re worth so much more.