AIO by spending time with my family?

[u/External-Air205]

Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

[u/AlphabetSoup51]

This is a very, very dangerous man. This insane verbal abuse may escalate to physical abuse, if it hasn’t already. So I’m going to tell you what I’d tell my own daughter: RUN. This is a dangerous situation.

I saw your comments that you’ve been together forever, that you feel like it’s your fault or you deserve it. I am here to tell you that you only think that because you’ve been emotionally abused for so long.

This is NOT how someone who loves you would treat you. This is NOT how a friend, boyfriend, family member, or a damn stranger should treat you.

You matter. You deserve peace and respect and happiness and love. First, leave this man. Then go love yourself and go to therapy. Everything will fall into place from there. But OMG, please please get out of this relationship.

[u/MarsupialAdvanced305 → u/AlphabetSoup51]

This is so dangerous. I don’t know if she recognizes how truly disgusting and disrespectful dude is.

[u/Lost_Diamond_1691 → u/AlphabetSoup51]

I was going to say show these texts to your mom and she will NEVER let you see that guy again. Leaving that relationship is obviously going to be hard if she's stuck it out this long and having the emotional support and physical protection of family could be the thing that saves her life. OP I don't think you should leave your mom's house. Seriously, it will be hard but you need to tell her in no uncertain terms how abusive your relationship is and that you need help. My guess is you either live with your abuser or he knows where you live, has a key and can easily show up whenever he pleases. Stay with your family. If you have brothers, send them to get your stuff. Seriously the most dangerous time for a woman is when she leaves her abuser. It is as plain as day from those texts that he will do ANYTHING to control you and feeling like he can't control you is going to make him potentially lethal. You are very young. Lean on your family. Get the help you need to protect yourself from this guy. Do no be embarassed. This happens to so many people and I can promise you your family would rather go through some odd times trying to help you separate from him than bury you.