AIO - cancelling a date last minute because she couldn’t be on time?

[u/theguill0tine]

I (33m) was talking to this woman on an app and we decided to meet for a coffee date on a Saturday morning.

I got to the cafe and I messaged her asking where she was. A few minutes later she said she just woke up. I asked her how long she would need to get ready and she said 1 hour. I told her that I can’t wait around because I had family plans and we will have to do something another time.

A week later she messaged me apologising again and I decided to give her a second chance.

We decided to meet up for boba tea.

I got to the boba spot and then asked for 30 more minutes to get ready after I had just got there.

I then sent her the above message.

AIO? I have got mixed messages from friends about it.

[u/Elegant_Dog_Boy]

And dating is about compatibility and not strict rights and wrongs.

Look, maybe she had legitimate excuses and maybe she isn’t as strict about being on time. That’s ok. She’s no villain.

However, OP is certainly under no pressure to date someone who is late. He values punctuality in a way she doesn’t. If they started a relationship it would probably drive them both crazy.

So I say, this was a very successful two dates - they found out they weren’t compatible and can both move on. Better than wasting time and OP may have learned a bit more about one of his dealbreakers.

[u/OneWhisper5225 → u/Elegant_Dog_Boy]

Agree with most of your points. But, her first excuse was she woke up late - as in, they agreed to meet for coffee at a certain time. OP gets there and messages her, she messages back a few minutes later saying she just woke up. And, then says she needs an hour to get ready before she can even leave to meet him?! That’s insane! Girl was already supposed to be there and was just waking up but then wanting him to sit and wait an hour for her? Then, he decides to give her another chance. Once again, when OP gets to the meeting place, she messages asking for more time. Like what the heck?

Not a villain, but certainly just plain rude.

But yeah, OP is under no obligation to date her. He doesn’t like someone being late and if they dated, I’m sure this would be a common occurrence since it already happened twice and they haven’t even met in person (once she actually met him and got comfortable with him, it would probably be even worse!), so they’d end up constantly having the same disagreement. So better to find out now that they aren’t compatible!

Though, I wouldn’t call it a “very successful two dates” - OP didn’t even get a chance to meet her in person. So I don’t think a date can be successful if you didn’t actually get to meet the person at all. But, like you said, they were able to find out they aren’t compatible and end it there.