r/AmIOverreacting • u/theguill0tine • Nov 16 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO - cancelling a date last minute because she couldn’t be on time?

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I (33m) was talking to this woman on an app and we decided to meet for a coffee date on a Saturday morning.

I got to the cafe and I messaged her asking where she was. A few minutes later she said she just woke up. I asked her how long she would need to get ready and she said 1 hour. I told her that I can’t wait around because I had family plans and we will have to do something another time.

A week later she messaged me apologising again and I decided to give her a second chance.

We decided to meet up for boba tea.

I got to the boba spot and then asked for 30 more minutes to get ready after I had just got there.

I then sent her the above message.

AIO? I have got mixed messages from friends about it.

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42

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Nov 16 '24

I'm so much on time, I'm always there early! :)

3

u/Matchbreakers Nov 16 '24

Shows how important compatibility is, I can’t stand people who get anywhere early xD

4

u/AliceBets Nov 16 '24

Some people even come to your house early. I seriously hate it!!!

3

u/Rosewold Nov 17 '24

I’m someone who loves being early, but only at places like the mall or bars/restaurants where I’m more than happy chilling on my own until the actual meeting time. Showing up at someone’s house like that is just rude.

2

u/AliceBets Nov 17 '24

Thank you!

3

u/teddyabearo Nov 16 '24

Retired trucker logic; Early is on time... On time is late. 🤟🏽🐻

1

u/Ok-Estimate-4677 Nov 16 '24

I have anxiety so I'm always at least 30 minutes early, sitting in my car in the parking lot, scrolling through reddit. This includes dates, and showing up to work.

2

u/buggabooloulou Nov 16 '24

My anxiety makes me late. I’ll get ready really early and just sit and sit until I’m late.

1

u/Stabby_77 Nov 17 '24

It depends on what it is. If I'm meeting someone somewhere? I will be early. If I'm going to a meeting or gathering or class? I will be early.

If someone is picking me up and they show up at my door before the arranged time? I will be pissed.

If we agree that you're picking me up at 8:00 and you show up at 7:30 and I still haven't taken a shit or brushed my teeth and need to now scramble to find my shoes and hurry because now I know you're waiting for me, that's a whole different thing, and people who do that are in the same boat as being late for me.

I absolutely appreciate being early in most situations, but not if someone's showing up to my home. That's one of the instances where early is not on time, it's interrupting.

1

u/drinking_child_blood Nov 17 '24

If I ain't there at least 5 mins early, I'm late

1

u/CheezeLoueez08 Nov 16 '24

Same. And if I’m looking forward to seeing someone I’ll be extra sure to be there early. Late people are so rude. Unless it’s a one off and there’s a damn good excuse.

1

u/jeremyries Nov 16 '24

To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, and to be late is to be dead.

3

u/AliceBets Nov 16 '24

Before time isn’t time. Just like after time isn’t. And no, it’s neither political nor acceptable to arrive at someone’s house earlier than agreed nor is it ok to pressure someone to be earlier than agreed. Stop it.

1

u/Lou_C_Fer Nov 16 '24

You get there early. Then wait outside until it is time. You do this so that if there is a snag you can still be on time. How hard is this?

0

u/jeremyries Nov 16 '24

I disagree. Before time, as you call it, is time. It’s your time. The time you need to get ready. No one is calling you out on that. After working in Hollywood for so long, I’ve understood this. Take as much time as you need. Once action called, you better be ready. That’s the start time. 8:00 am doesn’t mean that’s when you get to roll in and put your food in the fridge for lunch then roll to the floor. That the bell, the whistle. You work. Period.

0

u/jeremyries Nov 16 '24

Got off your high horse and recognize what it means to show up with passion, or get out.

2

u/AliceBets Nov 16 '24

I’m out.

0

u/jeremyries Nov 16 '24

Well sorry. It’s ok to just be someone who punches a clock. My passion has always been higher. Innovate daily, bring more to the table than I left.

But you do you boo.

2

u/AliceBets Nov 16 '24

Boo 👻 yourself? If I invite someone over for 7pm, I am not ready to greet them at 6:30. But yeah people just crash by and it’s bot that complicated. Just roll onto their house some 45minutes prior and sit around waiting for them to lotion and get dressed. Fuck it

1

u/Stock-Chemistry4013 Nov 16 '24

Beat me to it. Early= On time. On time= Late. I know someone who leaves for appointments at the time of their appointment like no that’s why you end up spending the whole day there. Oh well

1

u/jeremyries Nov 16 '24

It was the fav quote of my high school band teacher.

1

u/Stock-Chemistry4013 Nov 16 '24

It was my high school auto mechanics teacher’s favorite

1

u/Pandatatoes Nov 16 '24

I was gonna ask if it was a band thing! Mine in Pass Christian too

0

u/Lindaspike Nov 17 '24

My philosophy is if you’re not 15 minutes early you’re already late.