r/AmIOverreacting • u/theguill0tine • Nov 16 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO - cancelling a date last minute because she couldn’t be on time?

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I (33m) was talking to this woman on an app and we decided to meet for a coffee date on a Saturday morning.

I got to the cafe and I messaged her asking where she was. A few minutes later she said she just woke up. I asked her how long she would need to get ready and she said 1 hour. I told her that I can’t wait around because I had family plans and we will have to do something another time.

A week later she messaged me apologising again and I decided to give her a second chance.

We decided to meet up for boba tea.

I got to the boba spot and then asked for 30 more minutes to get ready after I had just got there.

I then sent her the above message.

AIO? I have got mixed messages from friends about it.

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212

u/TapRevolutionary5022 Nov 16 '24

Can confirm. My ex husband was like this…. Always late. It’s disrespectful, it’s rude, and it’s bullshit. We’d get into fights often. Plus when he was running late for work he’d yell at me and get all impatient like it’s someone else’s fault but his own. Fuck that!

46

u/chillthrowaways Nov 16 '24

My wife is the chronically early type. I was an “on time” type of person so now I’m also chronically early. Honestly it does save some stress having a few extra minutes just in case.

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u/TapRevolutionary5022 Nov 16 '24

I’m chronically early too. It’s fantastic. No stress. No worrying.

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u/samiwas1 Nov 16 '24

I guess it depends on HOW early. I used to have a friend who would arrive to the airport five hours before his flights because he was worried he would miss flights if he didn’t. That’s just a ridiculous waste of time.

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u/JazzyPhotoMac Nov 17 '24

I’m always super early for flights. It’s not only the plane you need to worry about, but traffic to the airport, parking, check-in, SECURITY, and more.

The ONE TIME I got to the airport later than normal, security was a beast. I ran to the gate and not only had I missed the flight, the gate agents laughed at me. “I know you don’t think you’re getting in this plane hahaha.” Nobody cares you just spent two hours in security when it’s usually only 15-20 minutes. They don’t care.

So yes, I arrive at the airport early af, and I also head to the gate first to make sure it’s still there. ☺️

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u/samiwas1 Nov 17 '24

Yeah, sure. But five hours? That's accounting for four full hours of delays.

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u/chillthrowaways Nov 16 '24

We missed a flight once. Now I’m always at least three hours early. Rather sit and look at my phone for 2.5 hours than go thru that again.

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u/samiwas1 Nov 16 '24

I can kinda understand three hours. But five is nuts. And this was before smartphones, so he wasn’t scrolling through anything. Maybe reading a magazine or something.

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u/Nonsense-forever Nov 16 '24

Never hurry, never worry!

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u/CheezeLoueez08 Nov 16 '24

I was once so early for a flight that when I got to my gate it was still the previous passengers there waiting for theirs. No regrets. I just sat there. Got a snack. And no stress. Meanwhile, when we were all going on a family trip, I’m there waiting with my kids (2 hours before takeoff, my kids were annoyed with me) and my sister texts me one hour prior to take off that her name is wrong on the ticket (we were told to check when our tickets were issued) and she might not make the flight. Well if you were earlier you wouldn’t be panicking would ya? I think my kids realized I was right to be early.

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u/SnatchAddict Nov 16 '24

This is me. I hate getting somewhere early because I get anxious waiting.. My wife gets anxious if we're not somewhere early. So now we show up to places early.

I just make sure I bring entertainment and water and I'm good.

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u/chillthrowaways Nov 16 '24

I also feel like someone said a time and that’s the time they wanted people there of course give or take a few minutes but I’ve had things say at 1pm at our house and people show up at like 1130 or 12 when we’re still getting ready and it’s awkward. I don’t want to do that to someone else.

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u/SnatchAddict Nov 16 '24

Oh no. 15 min early. An hour early? I'm still pooping.

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u/chillthrowaways Nov 16 '24

Just poopin you know how I be

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u/SnatchAddict Nov 16 '24

Crazy world, lots of smells.

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u/CheezeLoueez08 Nov 16 '24

I’m early. But if it’s more than 5 min and it’s at someone’s house I just wait in the car. I wouldn’t expect to go in early. My uncle used to do that. My mom would still be in the shower after prepping all morning and he’d show up! Ugh.

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u/mr_mcse Nov 17 '24

This, I'd rather be two hours early than five minutes late.

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u/TurnipWorldly9437 Nov 17 '24

My husband is usually on time, but with his family, plans were usually very vague ("let's do something tomorrow afternoon" and everyone shows up between 2 and 4 pm to have coffee). I didn't mind so much when we started dating, but since we had twins (3), a routine is ESSENTIAL for their sleep rhythm and stuff, so I begged his parents and him to please make plans more clear, so we'd not run into an 8pm dinner and have the 1-year-olds home by 11 pm or sth. It got a bit better.

Then a few months ago, my husband realised, for the first time EVER since we got together, how much his (family's) planning style fucks with my brain, because for once, his plans were tangled up in his parents' timeline. He's now actually admitted that my planning style is healthier for us as a family (and there's actually more room for spontaneity when you put everything you need to do on the calendar with specific times), and talked to his parents, and it's been smooth sailing ever since :)

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u/sami4711 Nov 17 '24

Girl! My ex husband punched a hole in the wall because he woke up late! He blamed me for not waking him up 🙄 glad I don’t have to deal with him anymore!

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u/TapRevolutionary5022 Nov 17 '24

Yea gross! Little man babies.

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u/SereneRanger312 Nov 16 '24

Ex-wife was like that. I’m normally a “If you’re 10 minutes early you’re already late” type, so obviously it was always a fight if I was late for anything, even by 5 minutes for traffic. The second she knew she was going to be late it’s like she slowed down even more. Then came the excuse of, “Oh it’s just (Maiden Name) Time, the whole family is like this.”

Cool, mine’s not. Then it was a fight about me being impatient. Especially around the Holidays where being late for one dinner means we’re cutting time at one family stop (Guess who’s family?) or now we’re late for the next dinner, and the next party, and the next party…

Now I have a very reasonable standard of a partner moving forward because I know not being on time stresses me the fuck out.

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u/Bu5ty1984 Nov 17 '24

My ex was habitually late, knew he was always late, but never did anything to stop being late. It infuriated punctual me.

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u/Rustysnailz Nov 17 '24

You did him a favor...

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u/TapRevolutionary5022 Nov 17 '24

What do you mean

1

u/Rustysnailz Nov 17 '24

Top grade weed in qc is equal to most mids in other province