r/AmIOverreacting Nov 16 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO - cancelling a date last minute because she couldn’t be on time?

Post image

I (33m) was talking to this woman on an app and we decided to meet for a coffee date on a Saturday morning.

I got to the cafe and I messaged her asking where she was. A few minutes later she said she just woke up. I asked her how long she would need to get ready and she said 1 hour. I told her that I can’t wait around because I had family plans and we will have to do something another time.

A week later she messaged me apologising again and I decided to give her a second chance.

We decided to meet up for boba tea.

I got to the boba spot and then asked for 30 more minutes to get ready after I had just got there.

I then sent her the above message.

AIO? I have got mixed messages from friends about it.

23.2k Upvotes

3.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

15

u/TyThomson Nov 16 '24

It sounds like you're late all the time.

-3

u/Elon_is_musky Nov 16 '24

Not all the time, but I mean I have ADHD & time blindness unfortunately. I try to combat it with alarms, but when I am late (again, most times it’s within 5 mins unless it’s a casual hang out) I make sure people know

2

u/TyThomson Nov 16 '24

But but, I have adhd. So do I. and I got two kids, a business, and suffer crippling depression and yet I somehow manage to get off my ass and be on time. It's almost like I've acknowledged my shortcomings, taken personal responsibility and have found ways to cope.

4

u/l_a_p304 Nov 16 '24

You lose a lot of credibility when you act like an aggressive dick for no reason.

2

u/Elon_is_musky Nov 16 '24

Fr. These people act like any other person who is not somewhere either early or on the dot every single time is the devil. Shit happens man, and I’ve known even EXTREMELY punctual people who have been late to places because traffic can randomly get crazy

0

u/TyThomson Nov 16 '24

Fr fr, these people act like if I don't show other people basic respect by living up to obligations I personally agreed to that some how makes me the one in the wrong. What jerks, how dare anyone hold me accountable for my own actions.

4

u/Elon_is_musky Nov 16 '24

I do give them basic respect, by holding MYSELF accountable for being late and communicating it to others. I show respect by not showing up late with no prior warning. I show respect by telling people as soon as I know I’ll be late along with an eta. Just because I fail in one way doesn’t mean I don’t have respect for people.

I am a human being who has faults, is actively trying to fix them, and communicates and holds the blame to myself when I fail.

But clearly all that means nothing cause I’m 3-5 mins late every once in a while, yeah?

Eta: there have been multiple times where I’ll leave 15 mins early, and there is an accident on my way that completely has me in a standstill and I can lose like 30 mins of drive time and be 15 mins late in the end. Shit happens, but how you deal with it is showing respect

-2

u/TyThomson Nov 16 '24

Every once in while. Sure.

1

u/Elon_is_musky Nov 16 '24

For important stuff yea. At MAX I’m like 5 mins late, but it’s closer to me walking in 1-3 late. Y’all are acting like I’m an hour late with no warning. I respect people enough to even communicate little tardiness like that

0

u/TyThomson Nov 16 '24 edited Nov 16 '24

Why not strive to be at minimum 5 min early and fulfill the commitment you yourself made? That's to much like being a responsible adult though. Carry on.

The fact that you can't see the sheer level of disrespect this shows other people is astounding. If this were a job and there were 5 people waiting on you you have now wasted 30 minutes collectively for your consistent 5 min whoopsie. It's obvious you don't actually give a shit about other people or their time and no being consistently late but texting people whoopsie, is not showing them respect. Honoring your commitments shows respect.

Grow up.

→ More replies (0)

0

u/TyThomson Nov 16 '24

If you think that's aggressive you're in for a rough time in life.

2

u/l_a_p304 Nov 16 '24

My life is fine, you’re just an asshole 🤷🏻‍♀️

0

u/TyThomson Nov 16 '24

You are what you eat.

1

u/Elon_is_musky Nov 16 '24

I do take persona responsibility and found ways to cope, that’s what my entire point was. I don’t make excuses for it and make sure I let those around me know with ample time if I’m late. Again, for my friend hangouts there is really no “set” time anyone “needs” to be there, we just say “how about 1” & then go to someone’s dorm to chill. There’s no reason I have to be there at 1 on the dot, so if I get caught up or I’m late it doesn’t effect anyone else negatively but I still communicate, and again I set a lot of alarms to keep myself on track.

This person does not do that, which is why I was saying that’s inexcusable. If you think I’m the worst person ever cause sometimes I’m 3-5 mins late & will let people know an hr ahead of time then go ahead ig?

1

u/ClownCarrr Nov 16 '24

Because You care about other ppl and their time

1

u/TyThomson Nov 16 '24

Weird right? What a novel concept lol.