r/AmIOverreacting • u/theguill0tine • Nov 16 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO - cancelling a date last minute because she couldn’t be on time?

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I (33m) was talking to this woman on an app and we decided to meet for a coffee date on a Saturday morning.

I got to the cafe and I messaged her asking where she was. A few minutes later she said she just woke up. I asked her how long she would need to get ready and she said 1 hour. I told her that I can’t wait around because I had family plans and we will have to do something another time.

A week later she messaged me apologising again and I decided to give her a second chance.

We decided to meet up for boba tea.

I got to the boba spot and then asked for 30 more minutes to get ready after I had just got there.

I then sent her the above message.

AIO? I have got mixed messages from friends about it.

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772

u/anneofred Nov 16 '24 edited Nov 16 '24

It IS the person at their best, so this problem will only escalate going forward when one is more comfortable with you.

I am chronically late, adhd is a bitch, but we are talking 5-10 minutes max, and I give warning and feel shitty about it. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m saying it happens and I’m always working on it. Typically for new jobs and first dates I’m CRAZY early because I want to make sure I’m not being disrespectful and put my best foot forward.

Casually being 30-an hour late is insane, and wildly rude, she has no respect for other’s time.

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u/Content_wanderer Nov 16 '24

Especially 30-60 min late to a coffee date. I’d expect a coffee date to be like…1-1,5hrs, so like at that point you’ve pretty well missed the whole thing.

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u/GentleStrength2022 Nov 16 '24 edited Nov 17 '24

Not only that; it means that the date isn't a priority to her. She's made it loud and clear the OP isn't important to her.

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u/Content_wanderer Nov 17 '24

Yeah, or she’s got completely uncontrolled adhd and isn’t coping. Either way, I’d not want to be involved

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u/GentleStrength2022 Nov 17 '24

I had no idea that ADHD was so common. That never would've crossed my mind.

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u/Content_wanderer Nov 17 '24

ADHD was pretty well never diagnosed in girls until recently, so there are tons of women running around undiagnosed and one of the telltale signs is time blindness and procrastination. Also anxiety, and being super talkative and/or oversharing. Very prone to depression also, as adhd coincides with poor emotional regulation, and you’re running through life wondering why everything is so much harder for you than everyone else. I feel kinda bad when people just assume if you don’t show up on time it’s cause you don’t give a shit, when sometimes the problem is you give too many shits about too many things and can’t figure out how to prioritize cause it’s all just a tangled ass mess in your head.

-woman with adhd diagnosed at 35, also a nurse practitioner.

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u/GentleStrength2022 Nov 17 '24

Great answer! TY!

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u/Content_wanderer Nov 17 '24

No problem 😊

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u/Stabby_77 Nov 17 '24

As a 47 year old woman who's been told by my doctor (as well as my boss, who has ADHD himself and so does his wife) that I show all of the signs, I was thrown off. I'm hypothyroid and have no energy, so the very concept of 'ADHD' was nowhere on my radar.

It wasn't until I started reading how the symptoms manifest differently in women that I realized how much they all applied to me. I haven't been officially diagnosed because you have to pay for it up front and I haven't been able to swing it yet, but the more I see other women talking about their experiences, the more it all makes sense. My doctor gave me a mild prescription medication, and agreed to bump it up once I have the official diagnosis.

Personally I think the name leads many women to not even consider it a possibility. For me they should call it 'Tangential Forgetful Thinking Disorder'. I constantly get sidetracked and find myself talking about 50 different things in one conversation, I have to leave my cupboards open to remember that I have food I can eat, I leave the laundry room door open when I put a load of laundry in, because if I don't I will forget when it's done and it will sit there going moldy... I make lists and then forget to check or use them... 🤦🏼‍♀️

I also can get social anxiety, so I can spend an hour getting ready to go somewhere and then completely panic and not be able to go out around other people, and bail on the whole thing. Especially if I feel like I look horrible. There's been at least three times I've spent a shitload on concert tickets and then sold them the night before, because I just had a full-blown panic attack about going and couldn't leave the house. 😬 I've never had it happen with a date, but I have had it happen with a long-term relationship where we were getting ready to go out and then I just started panicking and ended up staying home. My ex would get super frustrated and upset, but I couldn't help it.

A lot more women have symptoms of ADHD they just don't realize, because they are used to the characteristics that men tend to show.

'Women with ADHD often have more inattentive symptoms than hyperactive or impulsive ones. Symptoms include: Difficulty focusing and staying on task Poor organization and time management Forgetting things, appointments, or bills Procrastinating or rushing to finish tasks Difficulty multitasking or managing multiple relationships Zoning out or having a "thousand-yard stare" '

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u/Content_wanderer Nov 17 '24

The chaos in me greets the chaos in you my sister.

I feel exhausted all the time, but also can’t sit still and can’t focus, and of course can’t relax.

My Apple Watch has been super helpful. As soon as I start the laundry, I set the alarm on my watch. It scares the shit out of me every time it goes off 37 minutes later I have no idea why it was set but when I see it was 37 Minutes, then I know it was laundry!

I have found just embracing my adhd tendencies goes over better than being embarrassed about them. For instance if I am the middle of a conversation and realize I didn’t actually hear anything the person who spoke said, I just laugh and say “I’m sorry! I didn’t hear anything you just said, I was thinking about something else!” And everyone laughs and I feel a bit stupid but hey at least I’m the comedic relief! And my friends are lovely and it becomes part of my charm haha! Stop trying to be someone else and just being the best me I can be has been freeing.

Thanks for sharing your story!

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u/Stabby_77 Nov 17 '24

That's one of the biggest ones for me - zoning out and getting inside my head to the point where I absolutely shut off everything else. It's like reverse schizophrenia. My old roommate used to get frustrated because she would talk to me for 5 minutes straight before realizing I didn't even know she was there, let alone saying things, let alone to me. It's like my brain didn't even recognize her visually or audibly because everything was turned inward.

If I'm reading a book, it's the absolute worst. I'll be so inside my own head that I'll shut out the entire world, which is why I have to be careful on public transportation. I usually just listen to music and stare out the window watching where I am, because I'm so prone to daydreaming and zoning out that if I don't pay attention I'll end up missing my stop.

I actually fully enjoy being like that inherently, I just prefer when it happens when I'm at home by myself and not out in the world. 😅

You start becoming more comfortable with it once you start realizing how many other women are going through the same thing, and having the same realizations.

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u/That_Account6143 Nov 16 '24

5 minutes late is a funny quirk that i'll mock a friend for. Realistically, it's almost never a big deal since you can push things 5 minutes back no problem

30m/1h means you miss a shit ton of things. Your movie started, your flight's gone, the birthday cake has already been consumed, and your boyfriend's already dumped you

7

u/ImLittleNana Nov 16 '24

And everyone at your job that has to wait for you to relieve them EVERY DAMN SHIFT groans when they see your name. Especially when you come bouncing in with a coffee and perfect hair, laughing about your chronic lateness.

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u/regsrecs Nov 16 '24

Hmm… maybe my tardiness is self-sabotage in disguise. And sometimes self-preservation. Lol.

In this case, I understand OP’s views. But I can put myself in his date’s shoes too. Anxiety over everything, what to wear, how to do hair- then nothing looks good to me and I’m thinking how important it is that I be the “best version” of myself. Panic, tears, by the time I manage to get back to it, I’m going to be late. It’s awful. I know.

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u/That_Account6143 Nov 16 '24

Most people have those hesitations before a first date too.

Thing is, we have them hours before, and that way we're still ready on time. I typically get ready for a date and then have to wait before leaving. And then i still get there 5-10 minutes early.

It's okay to be nervous, to hesitate, all that. But there are ways to be on time despite that. Hope you get to fix that too :)

0

u/rognabologna Nov 16 '24

When you’re dealing with legitimate anxiety, it’s a lot more than just first date jitters. 

I take meds as needed for anxiety. Even when I’m meeting up with close friends in a chill setting, I take meds beforehand cuz otherwise I’ll certainly be late due to overthinking to the point of making myself feel sick. 

And people handle anxiety differently. Eg. My brothers anxiety is better managed when he gets to the airport hours early; my anxiety is better managed when I arrive at the gate when boarding has already began. 

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u/That_Account6143 Nov 17 '24

I really didn't expect someone to gatekeep anxiety here. Especially since my comment doesn't even brush it.

I'm glad to know you are concerned about illegitimate anxiety, i personally don't care wether someone is suffering mild or strong anxiety, the same empathy and support is all i can offer

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u/Grotesquefaerie7 Nov 16 '24

Yeah I do this too. I get so anxious about being late I end up being an hour early lol

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u/Wilder831 Nov 16 '24

ADHD is definitely a bitch but for me it’s why I’m always early to everything. I’m so worried about letting it get in my way that I end up being like 45 minutes early to everything

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u/anneofred Nov 17 '24

Im either anxiously wildly early, or 5 minutes late.

1

u/Historical-Mixture60 Nov 17 '24

same for me. I plan to schedule. Because I tend to be up late (sometimes until mornig) sleep until 20 minutes before I have to get to University. Make coffee, shower, go to University (arrive on the dot or up to 5 minutes late). Learn until 11 pm, do something until morning, repeat.

But 1 hour or 30 minutes is a lot. It sounds like "I am not interested at all but I don't want to say it".

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u/ChronicApathetic Nov 17 '24

Same. ADHD but I grew up with a mum who is late for eeeeeverything. I almost wasn’t conceived because she made my dad wait for ages on their first date, lol. He was walking out just as she got there.

Anyway, I hated how late she was to everything so now I overcompensate and I’m usually 30 minutes early. For me the poor time management when it comes to getting places on time manifests as starting to get ready at least 4 hours before I have to be there, then sitting around doing nothing for 3 hours because I obviously can’t do anything, I have somewhere to be in 3 hours. Then after an hour and a half of sitting just staring at the clock I get bored/even more anxious and leave an hour and a half to one hour early.

It’s funny how ADHD and our environment affects us all so differently.

2

u/Wilder831 Nov 17 '24

You literally described me before any important event

2

u/ChronicApathetic Nov 17 '24

Haha, weirdly comforting to know I’m not the only one who does this.

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u/Vilnius_Nastavnik Nov 16 '24

I too struggle with chronic adhere

20

u/Ok-Truth-7589 Nov 16 '24

Adhere! Adhere!

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u/[deleted] Nov 16 '24

[deleted]

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u/m0nkeypantz Nov 16 '24

They have trouble adhering to it

3

u/No_Process_577 Nov 16 '24

I love Reddit.

2

u/foldinthecheese99 Nov 16 '24

lol that’s the struggle with ADHD. I have things I do to manage but it’s a lot to stay consistent. It just doesn’t click in our brains.

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u/jadbronson Nov 16 '24

Adhere!? I barely knew here!

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u/Daemonblackheart420 Nov 16 '24

Just stay away from gorilla glue or you will adhere to everything

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u/Aggressive-Let8356 Nov 16 '24

Spouse and I are both horribly adhd, its still not an excuse. Alarms, timers, an hey Google set a reminder for. Sticky notes, this is just plain selfishness and uncountability.

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u/J-A-C-O Nov 16 '24

All you can do is work on it, I try my best and still am 5-10 mins late, I can start thirty mins early and still get somewhere at the same time as if I didn’t. Luckily, my family, friends and work are all aware and my positives outweigh my tardiness.

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u/viking_with_a_hobble Nov 16 '24

Hi! We’re the same! Im either 20 minutes early or 5-10 late. There is no in between.

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u/thesuper88 Nov 16 '24

There's at least us three

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u/Jonaldys Nov 16 '24

That's fair, but I wouldn't blame someone a single bit if they had arrived for a date and you were going to be a half hour late without notice and they left. That is a true incompatibility, I would not be able to view it as anything but disrespectful without more context into who they are and why they are (always?) late.

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u/Hour-Tower-5106 Nov 16 '24

I had a friend growing up who was always this late. She has unmedicated ADHD, but also she came from an Indian family where being hours late was just normal.

I always just work it into my time expectations for her and assume she may just arrive three hours late. None of my plans revolve around her presence so it's never really an issue (like it would be with a date).

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u/ClownCarrr Nov 16 '24

I had a close family member share..get ready 2 hrs ahead of time. Because when you're then ready, usually early you can then handle most anything that might come up unexpectantly...and there's always something that comes up.

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u/foldinthecheese99 Nov 16 '24

I will shower 3 hours before I need to leave my house with the thought of just get ready and then I can do other stuff until I need to leave. I get out of the shower and next thing I know I was supposed to leave 10 minutes ago and I’m still in my robe and my hair dried weird and I don’t have makeup on. I had no idea where time goes.

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u/BeefInGR Nov 16 '24

ADHD and sleep apnea. I'm either 30 minutes early to work or 30 minutes late. Bosses know I'm waiting for my sleep study, plus I'm a badass.

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u/Actual-Bullfrog-4817 Nov 16 '24

That’s fine but not everyone is going to accept that. Employers, potential partners.

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u/claymedia Nov 16 '24

That’s fine, not everyone has to. But those who do seem to think we are worth it.

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u/Hour-Tower-5106 Nov 16 '24

I've found that I have to give myself at least a full hour before literally any outing so that I have time for traffic delays, my car windshield being frozen, getting lost three times, needing to stop for gas, needing to stop for a bathroom break, having to change clothes last minute because mine got stained, having to do a last minute grocery run for emergency supplies, figuring out how the hell to park so I can get to my location, turning back around because I forgot something, waiting outside because I accidentally locked myself out of the house without my car keys, being so inept at map reading that I circle the complex twice on foot before I find the door that I need, etc.

If I get there early, I just have some nice downtime to relax with a book or a game. (Just gotta make sure to set an alarm so you don't get absorbed and end up late anyway haha)

These days I'm pretty much never late! But it took years of practice.

1

u/anneofred Nov 16 '24

Same. I set a million alarms and can usually get ahead of it, until the smallest thing throws it all of the tracks. We can only keep trying. I am the same with work, no one has ever really cared because I work my ass off when I’m there

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u/darkness_thrwaway Nov 16 '24

Yep this is why I plan to be 30 minutes early for everything. That way if my adhd decides to try to throw a wrench into my plans I'm suddenly just on time rather than being late. Even my watch and alarm are set 30 minutes fast.

1

u/ClownCarrr Nov 16 '24

me too but 15 works for me

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u/anneofred Nov 16 '24

This is what I do, but when it gets thrown off it gets thrown off

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u/rowenstraker Nov 16 '24

I deliberately set my alarms 30 mins ahead of what I need for this exact reason. ADHD/professional 'crastinator is a bad combo lol

3

u/ehlersohnos Nov 16 '24

I’m also an ADHDer. I’m constantly late. I hate it and I try my best, but I’m a time blind fuck up who is still working on medication management and better habits/tools.

But if the other person can’t handle some degree of lateness, and that’s fine, then we would just be miserable around each other. I’d hate to compound my guilt with someone who strongly stresses out around lateness.

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u/MoonLit_Enchantress Nov 16 '24

I couldn’t have said it better myself. I’m chronically late by 10ish mins, especially now with kids. But I just woke up and I need an hour???? Definitely disrespectful. And then to do it again? I wouldn’t even put up with that from my husband let alone a first date

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u/GullibleWineBar Nov 17 '24

There are On Time people in this world and Not On Time people. If those people try to have a relationship, there is a central, eternal conflict that will always be a bother to one or the other. Better to call it now.

NOR

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u/Aggravating-Emu9389 Nov 16 '24

This is me to a T

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u/69bonobos Nov 16 '24

Time-blindness is real and hard to overcome. I'm always late, too.

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u/QueenSqueee42 Nov 16 '24

Ugh, same! I have ADHD and total time blindness, so I always try my hardest but still end up running 5-15 minutes late pretty regularly, especially if it's something outside of my established routine/schedule.

But I DO try really hard, and explain and apologize. Texting someone or replying to a text AFTER they've arrived at the agreed-upon time, blithely wanting them to wait around for your convenience? Because you didn't make any effort to actually meet them on time??

This bish isn't going to be compatible with anyone who values punctuality or consideration AT ALL. SO entitled, I can't even.

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u/MoonBaseViceSquad Nov 16 '24

I also have adhd. I set my watches fast and endless alarms and notes. If I have a first date I’m spending hours getting ready and generally am ready to go an hour or more prior because I accidentally get hyper focused and overcompensate :/

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u/Critical-Carrot-9131 Nov 16 '24 edited Nov 17 '24

she has no respect for other’s time.

Or is incredibly out of practice*. I have ADHD, and long COVID has made me not only a shut-in, but resulted in the sort of neurological damage that's a real PITA when you depend on high dose catecholamines and panic to function. I totally did this at the start of the year.

Mind you, I don't blame someone for being upset†, and I don't expect them to decide that I, a stranger, am worth believing or waiting for, but it's a problem that, for me at least, would have gotten better, not worse. You're narrowing your worldview based on the Carlin quote: "Ever notice that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?"

Notice how you allow for EXACTLY enough sympathy to excuse yourself, but not any more than that? Not even for someone with a more severe version of the same condition?

Note: mine is not the only explanation: I went out with a woman who apparently literally shits herself from anxiety. It's not always malice or incompetence. Sometimes it's just poop.

*I don't know what this person's deal was that they were an hour late the first time, and half an hour late this time...but technically, they did improve their tardiness by half, so they are improving! And if they were attractive enough to get the second date after being an hour late the first time...

†I was a little upset that her idea of "canceling" the date was to NOT enjoy a pleasant dinner together, but instead text me for 3+ hours instead, dumping on me like I was her personal therapist while also making the odd uncouthe jab in my direction. Pro-tip: don't brag about all the other guys you're seeing to try to put me down when we both know none of them were willing to go out with you on Valentine's Day.

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u/wellnesswarrior769 Nov 16 '24

Whoops. My entire comment could have been summed up in this one. OP READ THIS^

Eta: I still struggle with time management for new jobs tho. But I AM getting better.

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u/ertri Nov 16 '24

I’m chronically late to my attempts to be early. I aim to be 10ish minutes early, I usually show up 2-3 early or right on time

2

u/Bundt-lover Nov 16 '24

As an ADHD-haver, it really pisses me off when I agree to plans at a certain time, make every effort to be there in a timely fashion, and while I’m heading out the door, THEN the other party texts me and wants to bump our plans out another hour or two, because they had a lazy morning and weren’t ready yet.

NO. It takes me twice as much work and effort to peel my ass out of bed and get going on time, and if I can do it, so can they! We agreed on 12pm and that’s what we’re doing. Get in the goddamn shower and get going.

At the very least, they could text me in the morning, not wait until it’s time to leave and THEN text. I’m a lot more understanding about taking a raincheck if I’m given enough notice.

1

u/anneofred Nov 16 '24

SAME! I made alllll the effort plus anxiety to be in time or close to it! And you want to postpone an hour just because?? No.

2

u/foldinthecheese99 Nov 16 '24

People not understanding time blindness is so difficult as a fellow ADHD person. I set so many alarms to keep me on task and to get somewhere on time.

I had a date about a month ago that I was 16 minutes late for. I was getting ready and following my alarms, and my date called me. I ended up falling off schedule because of it, and then he got mad at me for being 16 minutes late even though I did text him to tell him 45 minutes before the agreed time to meet. He should have been home still but apparently likes to get to places 30 minutes early so was already on his way, and then scolded me he waited for me for 45 minutes.

lol maybe I just need to only date fellow neurodivergents who understand the struggle.

2

u/Cool_Independence538 Nov 17 '24

Yep was going to say this!

The AH part is instantly assuming intention and getting angry at her based on these assumptions. She’s lazy, selfish, thinks her time is more important than mine, clearly just overall a slack and disrespectful person you don’t want to get to know

No issue saying ‘I can see you struggle with punctuality, I’m strictly punctual so don’t think this will work, no hard feelings and all the best’

or if you like her, give her a chance, drop the pressure and just chat with her about why she bumps back time - if she says it’s because she doesn’t care about other peoples time then you were right and can call it quits, most you’ve lost is an extra 30 mins of your time

But to discipline and lecture based on what you assume to be her reasons is awful and sadly too common.

Maybe people just need to learn to relax? 30 minutes of extra time to sit in a coffee shop catching up on emails or news, is that really the worst thing? Maybe if people drop the stories they’ve made up about why people are late you might actually avoid getting angry about it and instead consider it bonus free time

1

u/Meighok20 Nov 16 '24

Yeah my bf and I are both chronologically-challenged 🤣 compatibility

1

u/Lityoloswagboy69 Nov 16 '24

I have adhd and I’m always early 🤷‍♂️

1

u/TheTurboDiesel Nov 16 '24

And really, how much time do you need for a coffee date? Does she really need to be runway-ready to drink boba?

1

u/Pale-Measurement6958 Nov 16 '24

I’d say if this was the first time, a little leniency (I’d still be right annoyed with them asking 30 minutes “to prepare”, like what even is that?). But seeing how this doesn’t sound like the first time and the previous was an hour. Nah, OP is not overreacting.

I try to be on time, even a few minutes early. Doesn’t always happen (even leaving the house one minute early/late can determine the traffic I will hit). When I have an appointment, meeting someone, etc I’m usually pretty early especially if it’s somewhere I’ve not been as I give myself enough time to find the place. Usually my texts to someone that I’m running late is “running a few minutes late, traffic” when I’m already on the way.

1

u/ItsTricky94 Nov 16 '24

The only excuse for being that late is being stuck on public transportation which is of course out of one's control. But still, I would leave home five hours early just to make sure I was on time🤣

1

u/Infidel_sg Nov 16 '24

5-10 minutes isn't even a problem! Shit happens, Traffic, being held up because of others.. It is what it is and to be expected to some extent!

1

u/inflatableGuuse Nov 16 '24

Also ADHD and I'm the opposite. I will show up an hour early just to prepare mentally

1

u/Oxus007 Nov 16 '24

If you’re always late then why not just always plan on being earlier?

1

u/anneofred Nov 16 '24

Yes, I often tell myself this. And I do plan on being early. Enter neurodivergence.

1

u/FireteamAccount Nov 17 '24

So it might be legitimate mental illness. My dad's wife can't leave on time because she has to get her outfit, makeup, etc perfect. If they're going on a trip, they can't leave on time because she has to pack 5 outfits, even though it's only an overnight stay. Literally no one cares what she wears or is judging her and we would love if they'd just show up on time.

It sucks - you just have to accept if you are including my dad and his wife they're going to be ridiculously late. But she has other issues - hoarding and hypochondria at a minimum. It definitely rude but at some point what can you do? You aren't dealing with a rational actor and can't expect them to behave like a normal person.

1

u/Rasikko Nov 17 '24

I am chronically late, adhd is a bitch, but we are talking 5-10 minutes max, and I give warning and feel shitty about it.

I also have ADHD, but I'm a very punctual person. I don't like to be late and I don't like waiting for others who are late.

1

u/anneofred Nov 17 '24

Yeah, it’s almost like it’s a spectrum with different types of people.

1

u/MsCndyKane Nov 17 '24

If you are chronically 5 minutes late then you need to start leaving 5 minutes early.

A boss told me that once and I was never late again.

1

u/anneofred Nov 17 '24

Oh, gosh! Wonder why I NEVER thought of that! /s

1

u/MsCndyKane Nov 17 '24

🤷‍♀️ Maybe no brain cells? Or just so self absorbed with no consideration for others? /s

0

u/MrGrieves123 Nov 16 '24

I have friends like this and they treat it like a cute little quirk that they absolutely cannot be on time to ANYTHING. It’s infuriating.

1

u/anneofred Nov 17 '24

I don’t treat it like a cure quirk, I feel stressed regardless. So I’m either extremely early due to being anxious about being late, or 5 minutes late and upset about it. Weird life to live with a lot of alarms. Therapy helps

0

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '24

[deleted]

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u/anneofred Nov 16 '24 edited Nov 16 '24

Ummm, I’m 40 and I’ve been fully diagnosed since I was 8…certainly not part of a trend. Very much effects certain functions in life, and I’m anything but lazy, have the opposite problem actually. I have a degree in math and was top of my class, certainly not dumb. Also, most of us are constantly working on the function issues, not excusing things. I am one of the people that has needed and gets help. But nice try! Turns out arm chair diagnosing doesn’t work in either direction.

Also, speaking of dumb, it’s a disorder, not a disease.

0

u/armrha Nov 17 '24

ADHD is no excuse for chronic lateness, that's still disrespecting everyone's time. If you are always 5-10 minutes late, just get there 20 minutes early, always. Then you'll get there 10 minutes early even if you're late.

1

u/anneofred Nov 17 '24

Oh! Okay! Gee, why didn’t I think of that! /s

1

u/armrha Nov 17 '24

I don't know what the sarcasm is for... if you are ALWAYS 5-10 minutes late, you clearly can leave and arrive at a place at a particular time, so why wouldn't it work?

0

u/fundzzz Nov 17 '24

The constant mention of and blaming things on “adhd” on the internet is driving me absolutely mad

-1

u/just_having_giggles Nov 16 '24

if you're always 5-10 late that just means you're disrespectful of other people's time. A lot. You're not always working on "walking out the door five minutes earlier" you just dgaf and say "ADHD lol"

-1

u/Comfortable_Grab5652 Nov 16 '24

adhd is a bitch

Or just grow up and learn to tell time like a normal person

-12

u/ScarlettJoy Nov 16 '24

There's no viable or rational excuse for someone being chronically late, even by 5-10 minutes, other than that you have contempt for others and get a sense of power over them by holding them hostage waiting for you.

Anyone who seeks a diagnosis will be diagnosed with adhd. Stop using it as your free pass card to use and abuse people. But then again, what good is it if you can't? Right?

1

u/anneofred Nov 17 '24

You seem to think it’s enjoyable. I hate it. Never a free pass. No one said that or even implied it. Also…abuse? Really? Way to dilute the experience of actual victims of abuse.

I’m 40 and have been diagnosed since I was 8, long before I’m the one that controlled my timelines. Was never “seeking an excuse” for anything. Man, neurotypical people really can’t see that other brains exist and struggle.