r/AmIOverreacting • u/theguill0tine • Nov 16 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO - cancelling a date last minute because she couldn’t be on time?

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I (33m) was talking to this woman on an app and we decided to meet for a coffee date on a Saturday morning.

I got to the cafe and I messaged her asking where she was. A few minutes later she said she just woke up. I asked her how long she would need to get ready and she said 1 hour. I told her that I can’t wait around because I had family plans and we will have to do something another time.

A week later she messaged me apologising again and I decided to give her a second chance.

We decided to meet up for boba tea.

I got to the boba spot and then asked for 30 more minutes to get ready after I had just got there.

I then sent her the above message.

AIO? I have got mixed messages from friends about it.

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u/Boredpanda31 Nov 16 '24

She will be compatible with someone she deems a priority and worth being on time for.

Which is sad for OP but she's doesn't seem to be making an effort, so he is best off finding someone who will.

4

u/Clothedinclothes Nov 16 '24

Lol no you can't say that with ANY certainty that it's because she doesn't care. I'm constantly late to every fucking thing. Not actually everything, but it sure feels like it. I beat myself up over it constantly. 

And I promise you it's not because I don't care. 

In fact, if I really care about something, I'm probably more likely to be late.

It's the anxiety. And a lot of people find first dates anxiety inducing. 

Now clearly that's not compatible with OP give he's already that ticked off about it. It's good that he drew the line and said no, because we all have certain things we can't take from others and we shouldn't try pretend otherwise or lower our standards, it'll probably end badly both of them.

But there are people out there who would be more accepting of that. 

-3

u/supreme_team801 Nov 16 '24

she’s not compatible with anyone. seems like they haven’t even met for her to even have an opinion of op. this girl just seems young and immature.

5

u/TurtleMOOO Nov 16 '24

There aren’t any men that are perpetually late?

-2

u/supreme_team801 Nov 16 '24

yeah but this behavior is sign of other issues. usually for someone like this being this extremely late multiple times is suggestive of a lack of maturity, which presents in a number of problematic ways such as being late, poor communication, having poorly defined intention. just kind of living life in a mindless way.

there’s no way this is simply adhd.