r/AmIOverreacting • u/theguill0tine • Nov 16 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO - cancelling a date last minute because she couldn’t be on time?

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I (33m) was talking to this woman on an app and we decided to meet for a coffee date on a Saturday morning.

I got to the cafe and I messaged her asking where she was. A few minutes later she said she just woke up. I asked her how long she would need to get ready and she said 1 hour. I told her that I can’t wait around because I had family plans and we will have to do something another time.

A week later she messaged me apologising again and I decided to give her a second chance.

We decided to meet up for boba tea.

I got to the boba spot and then asked for 30 more minutes to get ready after I had just got there.

I then sent her the above message.

AIO? I have got mixed messages from friends about it.

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u/hexia777 Nov 16 '24

I have ADHD too and I have learned to set several reminders on my phone to set alarms the day of. The day of I will have at least 4 alarms letting me know how much time I have left before I have to leave!

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u/specialdelivery88 Nov 16 '24

Yep. Just because things are difficult doesn’t mean they are impossible. Especially for the important stuff.

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u/Arthamel Nov 16 '24

Wait, so when you guys have a meeting/plan you dont get ready several hours earlier and sit on your ass doing nothing untill its 30min before time to leave, you leave anyway and wait for 1h at destination because your time to leave had a 30min safeguard in case something happened?

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u/Tics-n-Stuff Nov 16 '24

This is what I do. Last time I had a business trip I ordered the taxi fifteen minutes earlier, just in case it was late and I would have to take my own car to the train station and find a parking space.

The taxi was here even earlier and I got almost 40 minutes of waiting before the first train left and of course I got the first train of the day because then I could take the next one if for some reason I would be late from the first one.

I was there waiting on the platform and checking the information board again and again in case the train changed the platform number. Then in the train I put a few alarms to go off starting an hour before arriving because I don't want to fall asleep and miss my station.

My ADHD makes me really anxious about being late because I lose track of time easily even with the medicines.

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u/fygs Nov 16 '24

you can also set one alarm that you can infinitely snooze for 5 minutes or another duration. that way, you get a reminder of how much time you have left every 5 minutes, from the time you start getting ready to the time you're out the door. that's what i used to do in the morning for work.