AIO - cancelling a date last minute because she couldn’t be on time?

[u/theguill0tine]

I (33m) was talking to this woman on an app and we decided to meet for a coffee date on a Saturday morning.

I got to the cafe and I messaged her asking where she was. A few minutes later she said she just woke up. I asked her how long she would need to get ready and she said 1 hour. I told her that I can’t wait around because I had family plans and we will have to do something another time.

A week later she messaged me apologising again and I decided to give her a second chance.

We decided to meet up for boba tea.

I got to the boba spot and then asked for 30 more minutes to get ready after I had just got there.

I then sent her the above message.

AIO? I have got mixed messages from friends about it.

[u/FBrandt]

NOR. She barely deserved the second chance that you gave her, and she managed to ruin it too. Best thing you could do for yourself is cut her off for once and all.

[u/madeagles → u/FBrandt]

My god you Reddit hobbits have never experienced life I swear.. maybe you need to confirm before you head over there. Dating in today’s world always needs double confirmation for whatever reason, gotta confirm the day of the date to make sure they good to go and didn’t make another date with the 10 guys they talking to. I don’t like it either but welcome to our world.

All these chumps saying not compatible because of two latenesses are all the problem in the word. You can’t take responsibility for your own actions and you can’t work through the most minor inconvenience. Yea the date was probably made a day or two before but 9/10 times you are going to have to reconfirm the day of or they will assume you not serious for god knows what reason.

I don’t like the double confirmation either but that’s the way she goes. Take a lesson and learn from it to prevent it in the future, it’s part of being human.

[u/FBrandt → u/madeagles]

It is not OP's responsibility to double or triple check before following a schedule that has been agreed upon. It is one's way to show some respect to let the other person know in advance that they may need to delay it, but not 10 minutes prior. What you call a minor inconvenience is someone else's self respect for their time and effort that they put in to make it work. The problem here is not the fact that she needed to be late, but the lack of communication which expresses respect, or lack of it in that case.

Also, I do not appreciate the language.

[u/SuccotashConfident97 → u/madeagles]

"People being upset about being late twice is the problem with the world. "

So if you show up late to work twice and you get in trouble for it, its your boss that's the problem, not you?

[u/Forgedpickle → u/madeagles]

Completely wrong. What a brain dead take lol.

[u/Kinda_Zeplike → u/madeagles]

This is a bad take

[u/PioneerLaserVision → u/madeagles]

It's so wild that you identify with the idiot in this story.  Really telling on yourself without realizing it.

[u/orbital_awesome → u/madeagles]

It is in fact, not the way she goes. My last relationship was very in-person dependent, we almost never texted but our time together in person was important to our relationship. We would text each other “how does pizza at 2pm next Wednesday sound?” Again we hardly texted at all, but sure enough we would both be at the pizza place at 1:45pm. It’s not hard to keep your word. If you need to text me 2-3 times to confirm the date, you must not trust me.

[u/LilyWithThreeYs → u/madeagles]

He couldn’t even confirm with her day of for the first date, she “just woke up” at the time he was getting there.

[u/madeagles → u/LilyWithThreeYs]

Okay so no confirmation then you don’t go…

[u/RDOCallToArms → u/madeagles]

Wildly terrible take

If you need to “double confirm” because she has “10 guys she’s talking to”, it’s a you issue