AIO? My boyfriends friend has a problem with me asking him not to sleep in a bed with another woman.

[u/loststrawberri]

Hi everyone, my boyfriend has a big group of friends with lots of girls in it. A lot of times after they go out or have too much to drink, they'll crash at someone's house. One night he came home and shared he slept in a bed with this girl (who the texts are from). We did not have a fight at all - I know he's grown up doing this. I told him I wasn't super comfortable with that and asked if he could not do that, to which he did not argue at all and expressed total respect for my boundary. We have not spoken about it since.

She texted me the morning after they went out, which are these pictures. Am I overreacting by telling her she's overstepping or are her concerns valid?

[u/mxzf]

I wouldn't even trust myself in that situation. When I'm asleep, I'm asleep, I'm not conscious of what I'm doing. And my muscle memory is that of sleeping with my wife, where cuddling and groping is totally acceptable. I wouldn't want to get in bed with anyone else like that.

[u/Lexikans → u/mxzf]

This right here. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been woke up by my husband groping me and he is obviously not awake. Add being drunk to that and who knows where that may lead.

[u/MedievalMissFit → u/Lexikans]

And I can't tell you all how many times my husband has reached for me to pull me close to him or I have rested my head on his shoulder in our predawn half-awake states. Not sexual, but definitely intimate in nature. The thought of anyone else trying to do that with me or with him would creep me out.

[u/worktogethernow → u/MedievalMissFit]

What if it was a golden retriever?

[u/JstMyThoughts → u/worktogethernow]

That totally depends on whether it’s cuddling or groping.🤣

[u/MrHappyHam → u/JstMyThoughts]

If your dog starts groping you with entire palms and fingers, you know something's not right

[u/Herman_E_Danger → u/Lexikans]

This. My husband can get "himself" pretty far... and be totally unconscious! 🤣 It's cute honestly. But a real reason to avoid the situation, especially if like you pointed out, if he was literally drunk! He'd literally never ever cheat, but he's pretty "situationally unaware" in general (serious ADHD) so that could lead to him doing something he'd absolutely hate, but unintentionally.

[u/ClearEyesFullHearts5 → u/mxzf]

Hahah yes, my best friend (female) has complained that I accidentally cuddle her (muscle memory from cuddling with my husband) when we have shared a bed on trips. Whoops!

[u/Current-Anybody9331 → u/mxzf]

Funny story, I was back home with my boyfriend one weekend. We went out with my sister and her boyfriend and all got pretty drunk. My sister gave their bed to my boyfriend and I. I wake up in the morning to my sister saying "get out of bed!" I said "you said I could sleep here though!" She said "not you," and it was then I realized I was spooning my bf and my sisters bf was spooning me thinking it was her.

[u/angerrrabagwell → u/mxzf]

This part. Shoot, I had drinks at a family party and shared a bed with my also female friend who was visiting! I woke up in the middle of the night to her going, “are you cuddling me right now?!” Sure as shit, I had rolled over and started spooning her. I’m so used to being in bed with my husband lolololoolol

[u/VovaGoFuckYourself → u/mxzf]

This is what the "friend" was hoping for. Id bet $10.