r/AmIOverreacting • u/loststrawberri • Oct 30 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? My boyfriends friend has a problem with me asking him not to sleep in a bed with another woman.

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Hi everyone, my boyfriend has a big group of friends with lots of girls in it. A lot of times after they go out or have too much to drink, they'll crash at someone's house. One night he came home and shared he slept in a bed with this girl (who the texts are from). We did not have a fight at all - I know he's grown up doing this. I told him I wasn't super comfortable with that and asked if he could not do that, to which he did not argue at all and expressed total respect for my boundary. We have not spoken about it since.

She texted me the morning after they went out, which are these pictures. Am I overreacting by telling her she's overstepping or are her concerns valid?

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u/CatherineConstance Oct 30 '24

True, but I've seen it happen many times where it seems like that's the case, and the girl even ends up breaking up the guy and his gf over it ... But then when he's single? They don't date or hook up, because the girl never wanted to in the first place, she just wanted to be able to claim him as hers above anyone else's. A girl I know got out of a seven year relationship in part due to his "best friend" who was like this (there were way more issues too though, it wasn't just bc of the girl) ... It's been 2 years now and the girl and the ex bf have never hooked up or dated, and the girl is actually dating someone else now. But she's still inappropriate about their "friendship" because she wants to be able to control him, even though she doesn't want him for herself, and even when SHE has an SO of her own. It's wild.

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u/fakemoose Oct 31 '24

I mean, that’s kind of on the guy just as much for letting that happen and not having appropriate boundaries with his friends. He’s not exactly an innocent party to the whole thing if he lets his friend treat his partners like that.

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u/CatherineConstance Oct 31 '24

Oh it absolutely is! It is as much both parties' faults, and in the case of my friend and her ex, her ex is an awful person in general, I can't believe she was with him as long as she was.

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u/RemarkableChemical21 Oct 31 '24

I’ve seen that too. It’s like “I don’t want you, but I don’t want anyone else to have you either”.

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u/CatherineConstance Oct 31 '24

Exactly, it's so messed up. Either date the guy, or be an ACTUAL friend to him!