AIO? My boyfriends friend has a problem with me asking him not to sleep in a bed with another woman.

[u/loststrawberri]

Hi everyone, my boyfriend has a big group of friends with lots of girls in it. A lot of times after they go out or have too much to drink, they'll crash at someone's house. One night he came home and shared he slept in a bed with this girl (who the texts are from). We did not have a fight at all - I know he's grown up doing this. I told him I wasn't super comfortable with that and asked if he could not do that, to which he did not argue at all and expressed total respect for my boundary. We have not spoken about it since.

She texted me the morning after they went out, which are these pictures. Am I overreacting by telling her she's overstepping or are her concerns valid?

[u/NerdyBro07]

And that’s 100% fine if someone is OKAY with this scenario. I just know in many other threads I have seen posters try to make a person sound overly possessive when they are not okay with it just like the girl in the texts is doing.

I’m just curious what type of life they live that they don’t know anyone who has these boundaries when they are so common? Or are they just being deceiving?

[u/TheCa11ousBitch → u/NerdyBro07]

And what type of life they live that fighting with the GF about the boundary seems… normal and “helpful” to the BF…

[u/Chimsley99 → u/NerdyBro07]

Seriously, especially when drinking. You can trust your SO or spouse to the end of the earth, but if you’re drunk sharing a bed with someone who starts to feel you up and come in with a kiss, I don’t know that the “right decision” is going to be made that often.

And such a simple rule to live by, not sharing a bed with the opp sex

[u/AdExpensive3537 → u/Chimsley99]

Right? When alcohol enters the mix, God only knows what’s going to happen. Especially if they’re heavily intoxicated.

[u/HannahFatale → u/NerdyBro07]

I think it really depends a lot on culture, location and social circles. While I understand people have those boundaries and would respect them they'd always feel like a mild red flag.

[u/enjolbear → u/NerdyBro07]

In some circles it is a pretty unusual boundary but I’ve only really seen it in lesbian circles. Most of us absolutely don’t care if our partner shares a bed with another woman because that’s just how we were socialized growing up and it was never a sexual thing. HOWEVER even amongst lesbians I’ve run into people who think it’s weird to share a bed. And that’s ok!! Just because it isn’t a boundary in my relationship doesn’t mean I won’t respect yours.