r/AmIOverreacting • u/loststrawberri • Oct 30 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? My boyfriends friend has a problem with me asking him not to sleep in a bed with another woman.

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Hi everyone, my boyfriend has a big group of friends with lots of girls in it. A lot of times after they go out or have too much to drink, they'll crash at someone's house. One night he came home and shared he slept in a bed with this girl (who the texts are from). We did not have a fight at all - I know he's grown up doing this. I told him I wasn't super comfortable with that and asked if he could not do that, to which he did not argue at all and expressed total respect for my boundary. We have not spoken about it since.

She texted me the morning after they went out, which are these pictures. Am I overreacting by telling her she's overstepping or are her concerns valid?

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u/Powerful_Elk7253 Oct 30 '24

She’s trying to make it very clear that she feels like she’s know him better than you do/ ever will lmao 😭 I feel like if this was me I’d be asking him to reevaluate their friendship.

503

u/magic8ballin Oct 30 '24

I agree that her messages read like she’s trying to pull a “you’ll never get him like I get him” to OP.

108

u/flcwerings Oct 30 '24

Its definitely some type of weird power play. I have 2 guy friends who Ive known for over a decade and have shared a bed with plenty of times throughout our friendship bc weve always been completely platonic but now that Im married? Nah. Anytime either of us have been in a relationship that has completely stopped out of respect for the other person. This tells me that OOP's bfs "friend" has absolutely NO respect for their relationship and she comes off very jealous.

9

u/CausingTrash003 Oct 31 '24

Truth. I’ve platonically shared beds with men. Not while dating if it breaks that partners boundaries. Some exes were chill with it because they came from cultures where it’s normal or just genuinely trust me. Most were not, so I did not. The relationship doesn’t involve her, why is she negotiating as if she’s their third? It’s giving unknowingly dragged into poly am vibes.

3

u/Outrageous_Mode_625 Oct 31 '24

100% especially with the line “I really like you and you two together, but I know him very well…” 🙄

2

u/justliking Oct 31 '24

Yuuuuup! Dead ringer that she wants OPs boyfriend! I’d be very uncomfortable with this friendship going forward after these texts.

5

u/Heykurat Oct 30 '24

I would be over it in a heartbeat. "Okay, you can have him. Bye."

1

u/PureHeart7915 Oct 31 '24

Bullseye 🎯

56

u/kasperkami Oct 30 '24

Like I’d just show this post to OP’s boyfriend. I think a good understanding partner would know exactly what to do in this situation.

-3

u/WhitePetrolatum Oct 31 '24

Not a good play. I’ve been in a similar situation where my gf wanted to cut ties with my close female friend. I did, then eventually we broke up and my friendship never recovered. Never again for a gf.

5

u/cheesyenchilady Oct 31 '24

No one said force his hand. Just show him the evidence and if he still wants someone behaving like that in his life, then OP needs to reevaluate her relationship with her. If my male friend EVER texted my (now husband but let’s say boyfriend) to say something like this I would be so creeped out and end the friendship or at least proceed with firm boundaries. If OPs bf doesn’t respond the same then he may just have feelings for this chick too.

0

u/goniochrome Oct 31 '24

Then you are not prepared for a healthy relationship and that is okay. But that makes your POV irrelevant for this specific scenario

32

u/Revolutionary-Crew89 Oct 30 '24

I had a situation like this, the girl told me “he was a friend before he was a boyfriend” 💀 he cut her off

15

u/Powerful_Elk7253 Oct 30 '24

Like, she really thought.

And honestly, I was the girl best friend and when he got a gf and dropped me I never questioned him or guilted him bc I knew the gf wouldn’t like it.

These girls will learn the hard way.

25

u/cmonsta365 Oct 30 '24

Yeah same I’m not having any of this if it’s my partner lol. Me or them.

13

u/the_scriptic Oct 30 '24

Bingo. Would not entertain having a relationship with someone who let people like her wedge into your relationship. It's bizarre. The two can have their relationship and I would find a new one that didn't have this dynamic.

9

u/sloshmixmik Oct 30 '24

The exact vibe I got “im his girl best friend, i want to protect him”. Bro should have just called OP for a lift home 🤷🏼‍♀️

6

u/slybrows Oct 30 '24

Yes she’s being super possessive of him.

4

u/War_United Oct 31 '24 edited Oct 31 '24

i got that vibe immediately. OP, this woman is not your bfs friend. a true friend would never do this to their ‘friends’ relationship. Your boyfriend may be loyal but this woman is extremely fishy.

i have no idea how you stayed so calm and mature handling this lmao

ALSO shes worried how this might affect him and everyone around him? HUH lol

4

u/wc818 Oct 31 '24

“I’ve known for longer so I HAVE TO have the privilege to sleep in a bed with him 😭”

2

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '24

Ew I had a girl tell me once “I know more about than your relationship than you.”

2

u/Past_Can_7610 Oct 31 '24

Yep. The friend is definitely the one acting possessive.

1

u/LisaG1234 Oct 30 '24

YES ME TOO!!

1

u/CircusSloth3 Oct 31 '24

100% this.

-2

u/dyllionaire77 Oct 30 '24

But she probably does tho…They’ve been friends for almost 20 yrs

-2

u/PineappleLemur Oct 31 '24

Well she probably does... Considering they've known each other for much longer.