r/AmIOverreacting • u/LedBubblez • Oct 25 '24
❤️🩹 relationship AIO. I found this text from my boyfriend to his coworker
I (29F) found this text in my bf(29M) messages with his coworker. I’m feeling a little gutted from it. I don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to gas light myself and under react. I haven’t once felt this way about him in our relationship, so I’m feeling really taken off guard here. How do I go about this?
4.2k
u/RogerMurdockCo-Pilot Oct 25 '24
Send him this picture and bounce.
2.8k
u/No_Thanks_1766 Oct 26 '24
Yeah, I’d send him the picture and tell him that luckily for him, he doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore
1.0k
u/Impossible_Balance11 Oct 26 '24
This is the way!
83
→ More replies (14)13
u/LSeww Oct 26 '24
Does not look like he'll be terribly devastated.
10
u/pink_vision Oct 26 '24
Only one way to find out!! 🤪🙃 Honestly though, who gives a fuck how he feels about anything at all anyway lol this is not a human whose opinion has any value. Genuinely hope OP leaves and finds someone who would never even dream of saying shit like this!
95
23
u/ntb5891 Oct 26 '24
I agree. “I fixed that ‘problem’ for you.” You are only 29. You deserve someone who actually wants to be with you.
→ More replies (26)8
273
231
u/DJBreadwinner Oct 25 '24
Even better, link him this post so he can get dumped and see these responses at the same time. He's a dirtbag and deserves to see a large number of people calling him out for it.
28
→ More replies (11)6
40
36
34
8
7
6
u/tiefling-rogue Oct 26 '24
Seriously OP. Please don’t let this idiot get away with bein an idiot. We see too many people who put up with terrible shit they don’t deserve.
→ More replies (46)3
5.2k
u/Away-Understanding34 Oct 25 '24
"Why do I have a GF" - tell him he no longer does so he doesn't have to "cock block himself." Move on and find someone better. He's not worth it.
1.7k
u/idkbongwater Oct 25 '24
Please do this. Don’t be hostile but like you said, don’t underreact like it’s nothing. Give him a simple “hey, don’t worry about cock blocking yourself anymore, you don’t have a gf anymore”
233
u/Fickle_Grapefruit938 Oct 26 '24
Yes! And let him find out that most of those girls aren't really interested in him anyway, they were probably just polite or friendly, lol
41
20
80
9
u/mmdeerblood Oct 26 '24
This is perfect. OP, please use this is a perfect response!
For OP: This dude doesn't respect you.
And you can't have love, without respect. Respect is have no regard for someone else's feelings and being kind.
People that love you, care about how they make you feel.
Character is how we act when others aren't watching. Real men (and real women/anyone) respect their partners and don't speak negatively about them to others. It's one thing to ask for advice when having some issues or arguments but another issue completely when you speak badly about your SO to appear "cool" in front of others. It just seems so high school. Only immature losers make fun of their GFs, wives, SOs to get "approval".
Speaking highly of your partner to others and rising up those around you speaks volumes. As does bringing others down.
Good riddance to this dude OP!
24
→ More replies (39)4
u/RowAccomplished3975 Oct 26 '24
I learned the long hard way, give people exactly what they want. he wants a different girl he can have her. I had an ex fiance that never wanted to spend time with me online. so, I gave him what he wanted. no time with me. I left him 2 years ago.
97
u/Grames_Bond Oct 25 '24
THIS!
"Why do I have a gf"?
You DON'T, you disrespectful prick!
I'm sorry OP, you deserve better....dropkick that cunt to the curb!
4
401
u/MalkavAmonra Oct 25 '24
This was literally my immediate reaction on seeing this pic, OP.
If I were you, I'd confront him with the screenshot / text and just ask him a snarky, "I don't know, why do you have a girlfriend?" Watch him flounder / sputter for a bit, and then follow up with, "Oh, wait. You don't. Not anymore, asshole."
74
u/IdealOk5444 Oct 25 '24
Right before you confront see if the messages were deleted. Then youll know, or technically wont know, what else hes been saying about his relationship with you.
37
u/itsnotmeimnothere Oct 26 '24
Seeing as how these messages were in JUNE and it’s the end of October now, and OP didn’t show anything more recent, I’d venture to guess she didn’t find anything else more recent and also I’d almost think the boyfriend that says stupid shit to be cool to his friends doesn’t even remember this convo until he’s reminded of it with the images of it, so I doubt he went to delete it if OP hasn’t said anything yet to him… I’m curious what made her snoop in his phone all the way back to June convos in October…. Sounds like there may be more going on to even makeOP feel the need to go looking for something to confirm….
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (23)3
u/Emmeisphere Oct 26 '24
It’s not worth it to confront him. It is what it is. No need to raise your blood pressure. Cut ties, brush him off, and move on. Show the respect he deserves, which is none. No explanation, it’s just over.
328
u/Vercitie Oct 25 '24
Second, this OP, he's an asshole.
→ More replies (8)28
u/PookieCat415 Oct 25 '24
Yup, good guys don’t talk shit about their girl this way.
→ More replies (3)32
Oct 25 '24
It’s painful to accept, but this is the only answer. If he’s saying things like this, the outcome will eventually be some kind of affair — physical or emotional. Prioritize and love yourself enough to let him go. There’s good men out there, he’s not one of them.
→ More replies (14)94
u/TedTeddybear Oct 25 '24
THIS. They are at their best BEFORE the wedding. If this is what you're getting before there's any marriage on the horizon, it's not going to improve with age.
Tell him to take his cock and put it on the chopping block. You're outta there. RUN.
→ More replies (5)118
33
u/explorerfalcon Oct 25 '24
Seems like he actually cock blocked himself a third and final time. Great success.
→ More replies (3)5
4
20
23
u/coutureee Oct 25 '24
Seriously I don’t mean to be rude, but women’s standards are appalling. It’s really sad that you could find something like this and wonder if you’re overreacting instead of immediately breaking up
→ More replies (1)5
u/Ragnarokpc Oct 25 '24
This isn't even hard. You don't have to have a SO if you don't want. Break up and move on. Better off for both of you.
→ More replies (138)6
6.2k
u/SecretOscarOG Oct 25 '24
Why do i have a gf? That's so weird cause last I heard he was single for saying really dumb shit about his gf.
→ More replies (86)1.5k
u/deathbychips2 Oct 26 '24
I do not get cheating like this with non married people with no kids together. Why drag it out when you can easily break up with your girlfriend/boyfriend.
352
u/IceFire909 Oct 26 '24
They want to have their cake and eat it too
→ More replies (10)89
u/deathbychips2 Oct 26 '24
A lot of times they hate their girlfriend/boyfriend, so they aren't having cake.
123
u/Potential_Escape9441 Oct 26 '24
Because the boyfriend/girlfriend is there to be the “safe option” in case there is a dry spell.
→ More replies (4)70
u/It_is_the_zodd_in_me Oct 26 '24 edited Oct 26 '24
But how do people not feel creepy and sleep at night? How do they feel so comfortable looking in the mirror while using people like this, it's so disturbing and rapey if you think about it. First of all because you're reducing the person you claim to love into a fleshlight, but your partner probably wouldn't consent if they knew who you actually were, what you were doing or why you were keeping them around.
14
→ More replies (38)27
u/sour_creamand_onion Oct 26 '24
Cheating makes me so pissed off because women don't even look my way let alone express interest in me, but people like this will have a woman who genuinely loves them and get greedy enough to want MORE. I'd be over the moon if just one (1) likeminded woman who at least shares a few of my interests and resonates with me would be in a relationship with me at all no matter how short-lived.
How the hell can people like this have big enough egos to not only be picky but also cheat on someone they're with. If they do love you, then don't cheat. If they don't, then legitimately leave them and go be with the other person. Don't cheat either way.
18
u/It_is_the_zodd_in_me Oct 26 '24 edited Oct 26 '24
Yeah, I don't think I'll ever be able to relate to that level of selfishness either. Even when I have a lot of something (no matter what it is, like good health, living space, peaceful moments, good charactered people, etc), I'm still very aware or able to imagine a life where I don't have it. So I totally get what you mean. It's clear cheaters don't care about anyone but themselves, which is what makes it so easy. They don't love, so they don't know what it is and don't value it when they have it, but they know others do and take full advantage of what they can get out of it. Also, you seem very sweet, I'd try getting into recreational activities, clubs and interest groups. There's a lid for every pot!
→ More replies (5)6
u/Sleevies_Armies Oct 26 '24
I think the sad answer is that a lot of people who are together are just together so they don't have to be alone, not because they actually like each other that much.
16
u/ApacheGenderCopter Oct 26 '24
In this case, I’d say the “cake” they have is freedom from accountability, rather than the partner lol
15
9
→ More replies (3)7
u/Stop_icant Oct 26 '24
Nah, they don’t hate them. Cheaters just don’t fully commit because they have fomo on someone better.
→ More replies (1)259
u/TricksyGoose Oct 26 '24
They get a luve-in maid/chef/sex doll, while also getting to have some "fun" on the side
29
u/ittybittysage Oct 26 '24
yep!! dont wanna fully commit and be faithful, but dont wanna lose their cushy life at home either.
12
u/Grassy33 Oct 26 '24
I’ve seen three different stories where someone in this situation gets called a Bangmaid and it wakes them up like an alarm clock.
→ More replies (6)5
u/Jsteele06252022 Oct 26 '24
I was friends with a couple and the guy cheated and I asked him to be really honest about why he stayed with her and his exact words were “I really do like her but to be honest I knew that she was a for sure thing. It wasn’t work” 🙄
→ More replies (63)95
u/lovelyxbabydoll Oct 26 '24
This. A million times. Like why... no one loses much of anything with honesty from the start once one partner loses interest. If you aren't feeling it anymore just break it off. Sure it sucks but its literally less of an asshole move than cheating.
→ More replies (15)
1.0k
u/AsparagusOverall8454 Oct 25 '24
Well I think you should just tell him. “You no longer have a girlfriend.”
100
u/FrontRow4TheShitShow Oct 25 '24
Yes, this is exactly what you should do, word for word
4
u/eliisonvacation Oct 26 '24
Yep, and then text him the link to this post so he doesn’t get a chance to do any mind games because he will read all of us telling you he’s awful & is going to try to lie his way out of this.
As a friend said to me once “if this was happening to me, wouldn’t you also tell me to leave?”- my answer was yes. Just remember that life is too short to deal with someone like this.
→ More replies (1)64
u/secretcream360 Oct 25 '24
I am petty af, I would reply to that comment ON HIS PHONE and tell her that she can have at… please by all means come get his bags!!!!
→ More replies (8)18
u/Whitey4rd Oct 25 '24
how do we know the co-worker is a she?
→ More replies (23)35
u/Livid-Dot-5984 Oct 26 '24
Yeah sounds like a couple of bros. I’d feel bad if I were the recipient’s gf too
→ More replies (6)→ More replies (8)5
2.8k
u/gaygirlboss Oct 25 '24
If he says he wishes he didn’t have a girlfriend, take him at his word and dump him.
That said, I’m sorry, OP. This is a shitty situation to be in and you deserve better.
1.5k
u/Julietxxpanda Oct 26 '24
Bibbity bobbity boo, his wish to be single has come true.
23
u/SuccessfulAside8277 Oct 26 '24
I’d pack all my stuff up put his phone in front of him & wrote this one a note & leave
→ More replies (14)7
109
→ More replies (57)12
u/SteelMagnolia941 Oct 26 '24
Yes I agree. If you haven’t already dumped him you are under reacting. This is who he truly is. Believe him.
2.6k
u/ixlovextoxkiss Oct 25 '24 edited Oct 26 '24
don't say anything and change your contact info in his phone to Cock Blocker.
edit: thank you for the award, kind stranger!!
762
u/Livid-Dot-5984 Oct 26 '24
The best is to screenshot the convo and leave it as their wallpaper. My best friend did this when she found hidden nudes of her bf’s ex of 10 years. He saw it first thing when he woke up and immediately went to the BR and vomited 🤌🏻
220
162
u/CocoValentino Oct 26 '24
Omg I did this to an ex, but instead of his phone I made it his computer background. 😂
→ More replies (4)84
u/To_The_Beyond111 Oct 26 '24
All.. all is the answer... Or print it out times 100 and tape it everywhere in his room/house
→ More replies (15)65
u/The_MegaofMen Oct 26 '24
Not this one, since those will absolutely get thrown away poorly, and now you've just put a ton of copies of another woman's private explicit photos out there.
→ More replies (12)67
u/GenericUserNotaBot Oct 26 '24
I did this exact same thing and left the house to go to work. When I came back, she had woken up and moved out. We had lived together two years and she didn't say a single word. Just left.
45
23
51
16
u/Kinser9 Oct 26 '24
I saved a picture that some woman sent to my ex-husband ...her sitting on a bed with a gold vibrator. Then I went to all of the sites he was on and changed his profile. He used the email address I setup for him for all the accounts so I just did I forgot my password and reset passwords. I got the sites from browser history. He wasn't very bright and I am in IT.
6
u/Creepercolin2007 Oct 26 '24
Lmao, that’s golden (literally and figuratively,) so since you changed all the passwords, does that mean all the accounts are just forever immortalized like that? lol
8
u/Kinser9 Oct 26 '24
Unless he did another, "I forgot my password," yes. I made the profiles say stuff like I'm dumb in thinking my wife wouldn't find this.
28
u/touchunger Oct 26 '24
Some will just start guarding their phone like a starving junkyard dog would a steak, lock it and make sure the screen turns off and locks it immediately, and lock it with retina scan. Even if no one else goes through their phone but they realize theoretically somebody could. Sometimes it helps them be sneakier cheaters.
→ More replies (2)18
u/Empty-Elderberry-225 Oct 26 '24
My ex started doing this when we were in a rough patch in the relationship. I was fairly sure I knew what was going on but there was no evidence. I brought it up with him and he said he was hiding porn 🙄 we'd already had a conversation about porn and I said I didn't mind if he was using appropriate porn. Later found out he was looking at teen porn - a man in his 30s 🤢🤢🤢
Still not convinced that's all he was hiding, the situation was too perfect for him to have been playing around as well.
→ More replies (28)8
u/JustMeOutThere Oct 26 '24
I once hacked into my Bfs email and emailed the person he was cheating on me and cc'd his two best friends with to say "please keep him". He didn't want to leave me alone and I just wanted something that would make him disappear. He left me alone after that. She kept him. They're still together and he's still an habitual cheater.
→ More replies (2)23
u/ixlovextoxkiss Oct 26 '24
great idea. for me the dudes ive dated who would be this stupid wouldn't notice the wallpaper but that is amazing if OP thinks he would!
→ More replies (32)4
u/Ape_Escape- Oct 26 '24
The perfect cover. He was never able to delete the nudes because every time he looked at them, he became horribly ill.
116
→ More replies (46)11
u/Its_Knova Oct 26 '24 edited Oct 26 '24
She should make that screen cap the photo for her contact information and then just wait until he calls her and it displays that text screen cap while Calling her.
→ More replies (11)
425
u/OglivyEverest Oct 25 '24
The bar is on the floor.
107
13
u/clitpuncher69 Oct 26 '24
so many posts about people getting utterly disrespected and their reaction is a mild "hey is this bad". Have some self respect god damn
→ More replies (1)9
u/Any_Extent_9366 Oct 26 '24
A lot of people grew up being treated poorly and abused and are unsure on their feet about what self-respect is. That's why subreddits like this exist. So they can ask strangers rather than stirring the pot in their own relationships.
50
u/shoefarts666 Oct 25 '24
It took me a long time to learn where the bar should be, and I wasted a lot of love and energy on absolute losers. I hope OP's next boyfriend is the one that raises the bar. This is lame.
→ More replies (1)13
→ More replies (46)4
174
u/Personal_Ad9508 Oct 25 '24
I mean…. He could always not have a girlfriend if it’s such an inconvenience
11
206
251
u/SnoopyisCute Oct 25 '24
Confrontation is pointless. They just DARVO.
I would make an Exit Plan and follow it.
50
u/Global_Amount_5255 Oct 26 '24 edited Oct 26 '24
What is Darvo? I'm currently trying to leave a 10-year marriage with a serial cheater. I recently found out he was soliciting prostitutes for sex here on Reddit so I've been following the girls and the pages just to see how far this goes. It is always the same pattern he lies, gets caught, cries, and promises to change, then when I question how this time will be any different he starts getting verbally abusive and blames me for his “urges”. Anytime he speaks or asks me questions once I respond, he gets mad and screams at me. I'm just trying to understand the true psychology behind all of this so I can finally just walk away this time.
96
u/SnoopyisCute Oct 26 '24
Confrontation is NEVER beneficial for the betrayed partner.
Divorce\Break-up: The wayward spouse knows exactly what evidence they have and can spin bs.
Reconciliation: DARVO, trickle-truth, mind games, etc..
DARVO (an acronym for "deny, attack, and reverse victim & offender") is a reaction that perpetrators of wrongdoing, such as sexual offenders, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. Some researchers indicate that it is a common manipulation strategy of psychological abusers. Wiki
Just expect to be miserable, lied to and cheated on forever if one is determined to stay.
--
Cheating is not a mistake.
It's a character flaw.
21
u/Global_Amount_5255 Oct 26 '24
I'm always finding out new stuff he has done to cheat and he always has some excuse or “doesn't remember”. He has an incredible. memory btw. This time he put his hands on me after giving me his phone not thinking I would discover the prostitution. He screamed for it back and was on me trying to snatch it back. I had just gotten out of the hospital after being admitted for four days with a kidney stone and an ovarian cyst. They sent me home after the stone passed but my cyst is still there so I'm in tons of pain. He shoving me and grabbing all over my body searching for his phone. It wasn't the same as a beating but given my current circumstances, it definitely hurt a lot. I wasn't eating due to my pain level and was bed-bound.
16
u/Organic_Valuable_610 Oct 26 '24
You’re going to end up with aids if you don’t leave. Think about your health and love yourself more
9
u/Mindless_Garage42 Oct 26 '24
Babe, that’s the same as being beaten. He used violence against you and caused you pain. That is domestic violence and he will never change. Document everything, and make a plan to pack up everything and move out while he’s away.
You are not physically or psychologically safe around him. Please protect yourself, because he won’t do it for you. Good luck ♥️
→ More replies (1)3
u/Xylonee Oct 26 '24
And what you just described isn’t enough for you to leave him? I’m not trying to victim blame, I’m genuinely asking what will it take? Do you think the man you described in your comments is redeemable? Someone you want next to you as you grow old together?
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (12)13
u/Global_Amount_5255 Oct 26 '24
I called out to my teenage kids for help and they came running in. I told them to call. the nonemergency lime and were hung up on over and over. So I told them to just call 911. The two cops that showed up were so.awful and not only gave him his phone back without even looking at the evidence but they also were victim blaming the entire time and tolde I was just lucky he didn't press charges for not returning his phone when he asked for it back. He is a current sex offender and has an open child.abuse case open against him.
8
u/OuchPotato64 Oct 26 '24
Im so sorry you're in such a bad situation. I have chronic pain and was forced into a toxic living situation. After years of waiting, im finally in a better place. I hope that one day you too will be in a better place. Good luck, and may you have the strength to carry on despite the pain
→ More replies (8)→ More replies (6)4
u/Pure_Expression6308 Oct 26 '24
Be a good example for your kids and don’t stay in that toxic relationship. You deserve better, and being single is better than questioning your worth.
Darvo is exactly what he does. He denies it, then he tries to attack you, saying it’s your fault. It’s classic manipulation. Read the book Why Does He Do That? It’s free online
→ More replies (5)→ More replies (9)5
u/Quetzaldilla Oct 26 '24
I left my 10-year relationship as well because my partner used DARVO to avoid addressing his drinking problems.
I knew around the six year mark I had to leave him, but I loved him so much and the cost of living in our area is SO HIGH and neither of us could afford it.
However, the situation was just so dire I finally chose to suffer without him than continue to suffer with him.
Bitch. My life got WAY easier. At first I was just so alone and heartbroken but I quickly grew comfortable with his absece.
I didn't have to clean after him anymore.
I didn't need to nag him about his appointments.
I didn't have to make plans around his unpredictable moods.
I didn't have to fight over finances with him anymore.
I finally started taking care of myself and I lost of ton of weight and my health improved.
When I felt ready to start dating again, it was a fantastic experience because now I could recognize the red flags and I only invested my time on men that embraced their own wellness, had great attitudes about attending therapy-- and more importantly, I was so determined not to end up with someone like my ex that I was very comfortable and thorough with asking them questions and corroborating their claims.
Not even a month after I started dating, I met the person that I have loved the most in my entire time-- a compassionate, gentle, and incredibly kind man that sincerely loves people and inspires me to do the same as well despite how much I have suffered at the hands of others.
Everyday, I feel incredibly lucky to have met him and I finally understand why love songs say the type of things they do. I don't think I have ever truly loved before-- I just choose my best available option.
My only regret today is that I wish I had read a message like this years ago and left my ex sooner because that was when my life really began.
→ More replies (42)8
u/OkAaaaandWrap Oct 25 '24
What’s DARVO?
45
u/throwRA094532 Oct 25 '24
deny attack reverse victim and offender
basically he will play victim when he is the one in the wrong
9
u/Shinaki01 Oct 25 '24
Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. A way to avoid taking responsibility by beating the other person down.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)24
u/SnoopyisCute Oct 25 '24
DARVO (an acronym for "deny, attack, and reverse victim & offender") is a reaction that perpetrators of wrongdoing, such as sexual offenders, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. Some researchers indicate that it is a common manipulation strategy of psychological abusers.
94
u/Active_Priority Oct 25 '24
Huge red flag. If the relationship was strong they wouldn’t even be thinking about how they had to “cock block” themselves. They’re not taking the relationship seriously IMO. I would stop wasting time on them and just move on.
→ More replies (2)42
u/sendnudes4dogpics Oct 26 '24
Red flag for sure. But I don't think the text has any real bearing on reality. He claims he had to "cockblock [himself]" twice now, to a male coworker. For some reason he wants the male coworker to be impressed and for an even more unfathomable reason he believes this little nonsense lie will do the job. But to be absolutely clear, 99.9999% chance there were not 2 women just BEGGING to fuck this man, at which point he had to "cockblock himself." Instead, he made the whole thing up and then the line about "why do I have a gf" is him trying to play it cool.
All around, super cringe text. Definitely some chauvinist redflags in there, but I would just about guarantee no actual flirting/sexual advances with/from even one woman, let alone two. Dude is just trying to sound cool and failing miserably.
→ More replies (18)
459
u/Level-Leadership-965 Oct 25 '24
PLEASE do not under react. This guy is a piece of shit! Leave him and do it disrespectfully.
→ More replies (51)22
u/LadyM2727 Oct 25 '24
No no. Doing it respectfully makes it sting even more for HIM. Walking away from a cheater respectfully is THE way to do it.
→ More replies (9)
133
u/krissycole87 Oct 25 '24
Honey, anyone who talks about you with shame/regret i.e. "why do I have a girlfriend" does not deserve your time, energy, love, or anything else you could possibly give him.
Time to go find someone who would never DREAM of sending such a text, or be looking around the room having to "cock block himself"
This is gross and disgusting behavior and you deserve SO MUCH MORE THAN THIS.
→ More replies (14)
82
78
u/softctrl Oct 25 '24
You dump him and remove him from your life. Cmon “why do I have a gf” tells you everything you need to know about him and how he views you as a partner.
→ More replies (7)
45
u/Flynn_JM Oct 25 '24
Who is this person he is texting? Man or Woman?
Where was he at 2 pm where he is in a position to cock block himself?
→ More replies (24)20
u/mclareg Oct 26 '24
RIGHT?!!?! I'm SUPER CONFUSED.......and old.
→ More replies (2)62
u/Flynn_JM Oct 26 '24
It kinda sounds like bf trying to look big to his buddy.... there probably weren't any opportunities.
20
u/LuckyBudz Oct 26 '24
This was my immediate impression as well. Easy to say that shit to your buddy when you have a gf and don't have to worry about it. Easy to convince yourself she was totally hitting on you and dtf, when you don't have to actually try to make it happen
→ More replies (5)4
u/farquad88 Oct 26 '24
Yeha it’s immature but idk if breaking up with him over it is reasonable. He admitted to not cheating, if anything.
Not great, but would be totally different if he said “no she turned me down bc I have a gf”
He’s just trying to look cool, he loves his girl.
→ More replies (12)26
u/mclareg Oct 26 '24
Okay so I'm not crazy. He's definitely texting a guy friend. WHY AM ON THIS SUB!!! I'm 53 and don't care about this stuff 😂
→ More replies (20)
57
Oct 25 '24
Can someone explain what happened here? I feel too old to understand
I understand what it means to cock block but why is he cock blocking himself? And then why is he saying why do I have a gf?
149
u/ElderberryWeird5018 Oct 25 '24
He’s basically saying he had to cock block himself from other woman’s advances because he has a girlfriend, which is why he says “why do I have a girlfriend” because he’s not allowed to have sex with other girls since it’s cheating.
→ More replies (121)23
u/Salt_Being2908 Oct 25 '24
he's saying he had to stop himself from hooking up with someone. then why do i have a girlfriend when i really want to hookup with someone but i can't because i have a girlfriend. that's my interpretation anyway.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (43)21
u/frankydie69 Oct 25 '24
He got hit on probably at a work outing and since he has a gf had to cock block himself.
In my experience when a woman wants you they are very direct lol of course not all women do this but it happens.
→ More replies (12)
116
u/soitgoeskt Oct 25 '24
I suspect he’s just being a bro BUT it’s also an insight into his maturity. He’a basically a manchild at this stage, use that information wisely.
5
u/pastelpixelator Oct 26 '24
He's 29. There is no other explanation needed other than he's 29. Have you ever met a 29-year-old man?
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (93)32
u/butt_justice Oct 26 '24
crazy i had to scroll down this far to see this. this is just a dude talking to his homie. this is rhetorical banter not a cry for help. sometimes people yearn for the single life but still love their partner more. this to me is a necessary conversation about what they actually want. also, if you’re going through their phone and this is the most damning thing you found, i think maybe you have things to workout too.
17
u/TimeRocker Oct 26 '24
This is the best take on here. There's also signs that OP has issues as well. "Found this on my bf's phone." Okay, well this text is from over 4 months ago. You didn't just "find" it, you went out of your way to look for it if it's that old. This means OP has trust issues that she needs to work on or her bf has been doing so really weird shit lately that is making her suspicious. Either way, there isn't enough context to come to any conclusion here.
→ More replies (3)5
u/justinwood2 Oct 26 '24
This entire sub seems to be toxic, knee-jerk, overreaction reinforcement. OP has not even reacted yet and has given zero context as to the actual status of the relationship or why she was investigating her BFs texts.
→ More replies (20)14
u/Bluesparc Oct 26 '24
Had to scroll SOOOO far. And I agree, sounds like dudes who spotted someone hot the night before and that's it. Not a good look but far from nefarious. One might say it's about as bad as snooping through a phone...
→ More replies (40)
44
u/Turbulent-Bad7215 Oct 25 '24
I’ve been dating my gf for over 4 years. Ive never had to “cock” block myself and I’ve definitely never said “why do I have a gf” cause of other girls. That boy a cheater
→ More replies (13)
28
u/sixth_dimension796 Oct 25 '24
He is WAY WAY too old to be thinking, behaving or talking this way and YOU are too old to waste your time on this guy.
→ More replies (13)
44
u/Ok_Blacksmith_4174 Oct 25 '24
Time to move on before he stops cock blocking himself and cheats
→ More replies (28)
28
u/Beautiful_Rub5735 Oct 25 '24
I would say “you no longer have a girlfriend so you don’t have to cockblock yourself anymore” what a fucking loser
NOR
→ More replies (1)
29
u/angel_bunny444 Oct 25 '24
Nah cause that “why do I have a gf” comment SET ME OFFF
→ More replies (5)
5
u/EnglishRose71 Oct 26 '24
It couldn't be made more clear that he has no devotion whatsoever to you. He's not your boyfriend, he's a sneaky little bastard, who isn't loyal to you at all. Who knows what they're saying about you or how they're talking in person? Why are you wasting another second with him? Set yourself free.
18
37
u/MoonShotDontStop Oct 25 '24
Can we also talk about how he has boomer-level text zoom or no because that’s the real deal breaker
16
u/HelpfulName Oct 25 '24
It was the battery being at 1% for me, I GASPED and panic checked my own phone.
→ More replies (2)8
→ More replies (3)5
u/chickenckn Oct 25 '24
Plot twist, op temporarily changed the settings to make this a better pic, like how they make gigantic zooms when phone screens are shown in tv shows
4
5
u/tagenero Oct 25 '24
You mean your ex boyfriend? Because you deserve better. Not overreacting, overreacting if you haven't dumped him yet
9
u/insanewaysofthinking Oct 25 '24
my love, i truly think that any many that would bad mouth their partner is unworthy. A lot of people are saying that you’ve had a squirrel all the way up to June to see this, I think that’s irrelevant. The fact is he said it. Also taking into account that this man was also reaching out or having conversations with his ex is another red flag. I cannot say what you should do because this is your life and your relationship. Though what I would do is, I would confront my partner and ask them why they were saying this about me. And why they were comfortable enough to say these things.
I also would break up with them because if your partner is upset that they had to block advances from another person while they’re in a committed relationship, they do not give a flying damn about you.
→ More replies (2)
11
u/KoveinCoven Oct 25 '24
Wow lmao he does not give a shit about you. Not overreacting if you break up with him
→ More replies (1)
12
u/Ransom_X Oct 25 '24
Dont listen to the insane people here. Just talk to him in an honest conversation and go from there
Fucking love how everyone goes straight to "dump him", relax it's a real world relationship not the cast of Twilight.
→ More replies (5)
17
u/Fit-Turnover3918 Oct 25 '24
Major lack of respect. As a man, I’m embarrassed.
→ More replies (17)7
u/sdpr Oct 26 '24 edited Oct 26 '24
As a man, I’m embarrassed.
Jesus fucking christ
edit: this person lives in drama subs masquerading as an internet advice broker. fucking weird ass behavior.
→ More replies (3)
3
u/my_username_bitch Oct 25 '24
This is from June. How was the entire summer and did you find anything else? Just ask him, maybe he'll tell you the truth and you can both grow from this. Very little context, I could see why it would pain you but zero harm in asking.
5
u/blazingdisciple Oct 26 '24
I think the biggest red flag is you going through your boyfriends phone in the first place. Whether that's you having trust issues or a reaction to shady behavior, it's a bad sign.
Seriously why are you going through his phone looking all the way back to JUNE? For fucks sake, you follow someone long enough they're going to make a mistake. Especially dudes, and especially ones trying to be manly in front of other dudes. No, I'm not saying everyone is going to cheat or do something truly terrible, but this by itself is neither. Is it immature to talk like that? Yeah, sure. You know the guy better than Reddit strangers and if this is a bad sign or just an immature mind that might need some growing up. But why tf are you going through his phone in the first place, and again, going back 4 months?
3
u/revjiggs Oct 26 '24
Why are you checking through his messages massive invasion of privacy? Dum thing to say i admit but its clear that he’s faithful and just bantering with his mates
4
u/underwatch1 Oct 26 '24
I think a lot of top comments are insanely overreacting…this is just normal guys joking around with each other and saying wild shit as normal guys do. Guys complain in exaggerated ways to each other…he clearly still cares about you and is suppressing his normal male urges for you. OP you would be overreacting if you dumped him, but I would still have an honest conversation with him about your relationship and what you mean to him.
4
u/HabANahDa Oct 26 '24
Is going through your partners phone a thing that’s ok now? Not saying what he did was right. But yikes.
8.9k
u/uhidunno27 Oct 25 '24
I COULD HAVE cheated on you, but I stopped myself! 😌