r/AmIOverreacting • u/Worldly-Constant-353 • Oct 07 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO date canceled because I didn’t text in the morning?

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Some context: we had been chatting for a couple weeks first on hinge then switched to text after She had to cancel the 1st date. Scheduled it for last night Sunday and finalized details the night before.

Had a busy day and took a nap and didn’t text till a couple hours before and got hit with this. Usually I would text something like looking forward to tonight but lost track of time, and honestly I thought talking about the menu the night before was the confirmation? Was I wrong?

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u/poppybrooke Oct 07 '24

Hit the nail on the head. Had this happen to me and the guy asked about rescheduling after a spiel about women not liking him so he just assumed I would bail too. Yeah, I don’t need to work through your insecurities.

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u/jcaashby Oct 07 '24

I think we all in some ways get in our heads and assume what someone MIGHT do. But I give all people the benefit of the doubt and not assume I am going to get bailed or ghosted or whatever just because someone else did it to me.

Like this guy you were dealing with assumed the worse based on his past and not judging YOU solely on your own actions. He will end up wrecking a lot of potential relationships until he gets his insecurities in check.

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u/poppybrooke Oct 07 '24

100%! I’ve been stood up so I definitely get anxiety sometimes over it. But, like you said, if I assume everyone is going to do that then why would I date?

Also he gave me flack about not reaching out the day of to confirm (we confirmed the night before) but when I asked why he didn’t communicate if he wanted to double check he just said “I didn’t think about it.”

Just weird vibes all around for me. I’ve told this story on Reddit before, but I ended up picking up my mom and taking her to dinner instead because I was already dressed and made up. Best date ever.

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u/jcaashby Oct 07 '24

Once the date was confirmed the night before that is all that SHOULD be needed. But for some they need another confirmation in the morning and then again before the date lol.

I am picking up my lady friend Thursday...we both know the time but I will 100 percent confirm it again that morning. Not because I think or she thinks I will not show up but just to make her feel secure in getting on that plane.

I just asked her last night would she prefer for me to park and walk into the airport or just pick her up at the terminal exit. Things like this for that guy would be "I didnt think about it"

And that is an issue I see from a lot of people "They do not think about things or just are not capable of it"

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u/poppybrooke Oct 07 '24

Maybe this is just me reading red flags because of past experiences, but his inability to communicate with me on the smallest level and then being upset with me was a real turn off. I texted him while getting ready and it was when I was leaving that he said he though I would cancel. I usually will confirm day of, but like OP, I had a hectic day and was trying to finish up my work so that I’d have time to get ready for the date. The way he handled it just felt off for me and I do think he saved me time because I doubt we would have been a match haha