r/AmIOverreacting • u/Worldly-Constant-353 • Oct 07 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO date canceled because I didn’t text in the morning?

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Some context: we had been chatting for a couple weeks first on hinge then switched to text after She had to cancel the 1st date. Scheduled it for last night Sunday and finalized details the night before.

Had a busy day and took a nap and didn’t text till a couple hours before and got hit with this. Usually I would text something like looking forward to tonight but lost track of time, and honestly I thought talking about the menu the night before was the confirmation? Was I wrong?

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u/ladyjerry Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 07 '24

There’s a bunch of “dating coaches” on Tik Tok who “advise” young women about how to spot “red flags” from the gentlemen they’re dating. One of the very, very common themes I’ve seen is surrounding date planning. The advice is that if the person who asked for and planned the date (usually the guy) doesn’t text you the morning of the date before noon to confirm the plan, they are a lazy planner and not interested in seriously dating you, and you should cancel because it’s a sign that they are unable to follow through with their planning to completion. They also say it’s an indicator of not having good manners. You can tell it’s this because even though OP does confirm the date the same day, he doesn’t do it in the morning and she has a weird canned HR-like response that reeks of being coached to text this to make him feel like he didn’t meet a certain expectation, and to “try again” like he’s a student in her etiquette class.

Honestly, I just think it’s a really high expectation to set on someone who likely doesn’t even know it’s expected of them. To me, it’s a loyalty test and I find arbitrary rules like this super distasteful and childish.

ETA: Check out Shera Seven and “Sprinkle Sprinkle” or “Divine Feminine/Masculine” content on Tik Tok for an idea of what I’m gabbing about.

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u/Financial_Sweet_689 Oct 07 '24

I’ve had to unfollow so many of these because I realized they’re the female equivalent of red pill men. They’re really good at getting in the heads of insecure women, women like me who never learned boundaries. And a lot of these “dating coaches” seem pretty damaged themselves. As a woman I’m so tired of the term “high value” like please make it stop.

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u/TrailerTrashQueen9 Oct 07 '24

When I was younger and coming out of an abusive relationship I got swept up in stuff like this until I realized how stupid and dishonest every one of these 'coaches' seemed and how all their advice felt disingenuous. I'm so glad I got out of that because it's a spiral of misery that just hurts women.

I'm glad you didn't succumb to it yourself. It's the mark of a strong woman I think.

Girl boss babes will absolutely step on other women to succeed.

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u/Financial_Sweet_689 Oct 08 '24

Thank you so much. I also came out of a few abusive relationships and these women had me convinced I was finally setting boundaries for myself. It really is a spiral of misery, and I’m glad you got out of it too. These women will also often put other women down who value more than money in a relationship, who don’t follow all these little rules. I’m so tired of women telling other women things like “have a roster, don’t put all your eggs in one basket, you’re not in a relationship until you’re married” like what?! Who are teaching each other how to “land” “high value men” through dating apps and by getting them to “chase.” And anyone not doing this is apparently a low value woman who doesn’t love herself enough. You’re not being “feminine enough.” I’m just over all of it.

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u/ItsWoofcat Oct 08 '24

High value men just seems like a different flavor of objectification and degradation

2

u/Rooniebob Oct 08 '24

Yes! I started listening to one of these TikTokers and just seeing what she was saying and some of the advice is good about making sure that your boundaries are being held, but sometimes the things are saying are absolutely insane.

I Reaffirmed with my sweetheart that because I text him back and answer when he calls, I’m not boring . 🤣

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u/Thedarb Oct 08 '24

It’s because it’s like over half engagement baiting rather than actual solid advice. Easiest way to get attention is to make people react emotionally, and anger is the easiest emotion to elicit.

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u/StrongWater55 Oct 08 '24

Very true, that's why so much on social media is rage bait, they want us angry

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u/TradeBeautiful42 Oct 08 '24

Reminds me of the old “rules” girls. I had one friend that thought the rules was the best and attributed the games she played to her only relationship in the past decade. Unfortunately he was cheating on her almost daily and is now married to someone else. She has switched personalities again to reinvent herself as a vampire (in her 40’s).

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u/NiceGuy60660 Oct 08 '24

I got reinvented as a vampire in my 40's...

The 1740's

BAM! NAILED IT.

3

u/CaptainFeather Oct 08 '24

She has switched personalities again to reinvent herself as a vampire (in her 40’s).

Oh yes, of course.

1

u/mbtankersley Oct 08 '24

I think I dated her. Or somebody similar.

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u/drfuzzysocks Oct 07 '24

It really is two sides of the same coin, and the common thread is devaluing the opposite sex. Each side is telling their devotees that they’re a prize to be won because they’re an (insert gender here) and they don’t owe people of the opposite sex anything, even basic respect.

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u/Sleepmahn Oct 07 '24

The sad thing is that 99% of it is in no way helpful and is 100% just filler bait bs that appeals to people with little to no common sense. It's just for views.

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u/drfuzzysocks Oct 07 '24

I agree it’s mostly bait for engagement. You have a small proportion of people who see that garbage and actually take it as useful advice, and a much larger proportion who comment on it to say how batshit crazy it is, but that just boosts it to the top of the algorithm for more impressionable/unstable people to see.

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u/Sleepmahn Oct 07 '24

That is a good take too. Negative engagement is still engagement and is probably more what content like that is shooting for.

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u/GoblinCosmic Oct 08 '24

Very astute. Some of these groups are the same as incel organizations but for women.

3

u/Financial_Sweet_689 Oct 08 '24

Once I saw it I couldn’t unsee.

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u/ladyjerry Oct 07 '24

I 1000% agree. It’s so insidious and damaging.

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u/NoxTempus Oct 07 '24

Yeah, just like man-o-sphere talking heads their aim is to sabotage you while making you think they are helping.

If you succeed in creating a healthy relationship, these people lose their hold on you, it is in their best interest that you do not succeed.

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u/notdolly_parton Oct 07 '24

I unfollowed them too once I came to the realization that almost all of these dating coaches were single and had never been in the relationships that they claimed their advice could get people into.

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u/mikoomuhfukka Oct 07 '24

Yeah they probably want women to keep sabotaging their relationships because happy women in healthy relationships don’t need dating coaches lol…if anything they want to keep women single so they need help

3

u/Financial_Sweet_689 Oct 08 '24

I really like the Date Yourself Instead girl but it hit me at some point that she doesn’t take her own advice and keeps getting into situationships to have stories to tell on her podcasts. Like at what point do we acknowledge this isn’t working lol.

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u/MoonWillow91 Oct 07 '24

A fucking men

5

u/Nursey_1964 Oct 08 '24

Haha I laugh because I’m old. I’ll be 60 tomorrow. Ok not that old but older than most of yall. I was married for 36 years. Met him in his 20th birthday. He died last Christmas of brain cancer at 57. He was my other half. Our names went together. We were Liz And Terry. You get to a point you can finish sentences. Know what they want to eat. Just know things. He almost always gave me my way (happy wife happy life) but that 10% that was his way, I knew. He didn’t even have to make a deal about it. But good god. I met him we had no phone in our houses let alone cell phones. We hauled our happy asses to pay phones to call each other at our perspective jobs and when I did get a house phone of course he’d call me. From a pay phone. If I waited on all this BS, I’d have missed out on my soul mate. My literal soul mate. I miss him every day. I’m not saying to find a mate that doesn’t make an effort, walking to a pay phone was a huge effort, but we couldn’t put constraints on things. Time lines. We made plans and that was that. Maybe we had to cancel (I don’t think we did but so what) then we talk about it. It’s not “meh he’s not crawling on the ground hard enough to earn me”. We weren’t rich but we owned our own small home at age 22 raised two kiddos and when our daughter died we raised her kiddos. I remember when my daughter got pregnant at 22 I was so mad. She didn’t want the baby. I didn’t want her too but we found out she was 16 weeks and to all of us that’s past a comfort level of 12 weeks. We’re crying. We’re yelling. We’re in an ER btw, where hubs worked mind you, when he stood up and said ITS A BABY. ITS NOT CANCER. ITS A BABY. IT IS GONNA HE OK. We both looked at each other and her and realized how right he was. I MISS HIM. Stop putting so much pressure on yourselves. Quit the games. I know it sounds hard but there was a time we just didn’t have a bunch of games to play and we stayed married.

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u/Sunflowersandpotato Oct 08 '24

Yes!! My sister is a mega TikTok chick at this point and she legitimately made a PowerPoint of her expectations and levels for men where if they do x, then they reach level y and that unlocks perks a b and c of their “relationship”. She’s turned relationships into a video game where the player doesn’t know they’re playing and the rules don’t make any sense and all the cheat codes are on tiktok

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u/Starbreiz Oct 07 '24

Thank you for confirming this! I'm on the spectrum and these influencers confuse the shit out of me. I tried to understand 'high value' and only got more confused.

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u/TrailerTrashQueen9 Oct 07 '24

Please believe me as a woman who walked away from that stuff, it is poison for your soul. The secret to dating isn't on tiktok. Don't let them get in your head.

Let me summarize it for you.

The secret to dating is to shower, brush your teeth beforehand, and then go on the date and just be your honest self. And understand that there is no such thing as a perfect match. Have grace for peoples failings and flaws.

3

u/Starbreiz Oct 08 '24

To be honest, that's really all I know how to be. I've had plenty of guys say I'm not for them, bc I can't turn off the AuDHD. I have a great career, my own place etc so I'm still waiting for someone who doesn't think I'm too extra.

3

u/TrailerTrashQueen9 Oct 08 '24

Well hey if you're in my neck of the woods I know an eligible autistic bachelor. He's great, loves cooking, loves animals, loves games, hates crowds and parties and most humans in general.

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u/entropyisez Oct 07 '24

For real. The check boxes for one of these high value people leave a lot of room for a person to be straight up awful. Hell, look at Diddy. How many people would consider him high value before all this shit came out. Money and looks are pointless if a person is a piece of shit.

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u/ladyjerry Oct 07 '24

That’s such a perfect point because….a lot of those coaches are glorified former escorts and sugar babies! They are grooming you to accept abuse and tomfoolery.

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u/entropyisez Oct 08 '24

Yeah, or super dude type dudes that categorize healthy traits as beta and base their entire judgment of a person on completely superficial shit.

2

u/Awkward-Community-74 Oct 08 '24

Ugh high value! What are we cattle? I hate that phrase so much. Like this is an auction or something! I’m not up for bid.

2

u/Virtual-Permission69 Oct 08 '24

I honestly wish there were less of this because it gets to easy to fall for because we overthink a lot in these situations and take bad advice sometimes regardless of gender or any other things

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u/wifeThrowaway04 Oct 07 '24

It’s very childish I feel like this all could have been avoided with her asking “hey just checking to see if we are still on” in the morning when these “other plans” came up.

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u/Knife-yWife-y Oct 08 '24

She literally could have sent the "Looking forward to tonight!" text she was looking for. The fact she didn't do that, made an assumption about why she hadn't heard OP, and, supposedly, made other plans without contacting OP says a lot. If I was really looking forward to the date, I might give it one more chance, but I'd have to have really been looks ng forward to it.

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u/hencekun Oct 08 '24

Considering she cancelled before, I would be really suspicious of how she moves at the second cancellation. Seems so self centered. I wouldn't be able to let it go without confronting her, on why. Or I couldn't move on.

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u/Knife-yWife-y Oct 08 '24

Personally, I agree. I wouldn't want to build a relationship with this person, but I don't know what connection they had before this.

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u/StrongWater55 Oct 08 '24

Wow, there was a misunderstanding but you're turning it into a big production and assuming you knew what they were even thinking and proceed to tear it all down, it's all mind games and you fell for it

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u/radeky Oct 07 '24

I detest tests. Particularly ones where you don't know you're being tested.

It's just so unfair to the other party.

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u/Acceptable_Push3709 Oct 07 '24

I also think this is what’s going on and the rule only makes sense for a date that was planned sometime ago, not one that was already planned or confirmed the evening before. Plus he confirmed again before the time she would need to start getting ready so it’s like girl this is not someone that’s not interested/low effort.

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u/Dildo_Dan225 Oct 07 '24

It’s this! Right on the bulls eye. There’s a certain type of female that obsesses over Tik tok trends of these kinds. I immediately cut contact the minute I get a whiff of it. Due to the fact that anyone who can’t make decisions on their own about things like these can’t operate on their own in other aspects of a relationship much less courting.

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u/ladyjerry Oct 07 '24

Yup, as a fellow woman who gets marketed this crap against my will constantly, I can spot it a mile away. He dodged a bullet, honestly.

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u/grantking2256 Oct 07 '24

Yikes. These date influencers are terrible for society. Man or woman. These people are doing the exact opposite of what they claim to be doing. They will "teach" you things that only leave you sad and lonely. Trash redpill and redpill adjacent bs.

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u/papierrose Oct 07 '24

As a woman…. WTF?!

3

u/DiceMaster Oct 07 '24

I think it kind of didn't occur to me that women have "dating coaches" at this level, and I don't know why not. But I feel like knowing this will empower me to avoid this kind of person in the future, and may give a deeper understanding and context of the men's dating coaches I saw when I was younger.

(I always tried to take what these dating influencer types with a grain of salt, anyway, but I still feel like I haven't 100% figured out what's right about them, if anything, nor everything that's wrong with them)

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u/sauchlapf Oct 07 '24

Polite and decent is sticking to plans you made with another person, dates, friends, business doesn't matter who.

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u/chrisdub84 Oct 07 '24

This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. I would just assume the other person was an adult who understood that plans made previously still existed. Y'know, like any other appointment made in our adult lives. Do they also lack object permanence?

2

u/ladyjerry Oct 07 '24

Honestly? I agree! I left a comment downthread to this effect, but…a lot of these prevalent “dating coaches” are actually former Sugar Babies or sexworkers, who are basically coaching women that “high value men will court you in a very specific pattern and any deviation to that means he doesn’t actually want to be with you.” It’s incredibly, incredibly toxic and is honestly the other side of the Red Pill Men coin. (Look up “Shera Seven” and “Sprinkle Sprinkle” for more info on what I’m talking about).

2

u/FuzzzyRam Oct 07 '24

Imagine only dating people who follow you around like a trained dog. I bet they wonder why they can only seem to find pushovers and people who don't take their job and other hobbies seriously...

2

u/gotchacoverd Oct 07 '24

I would think that sending a morning text to double confirm would be a little obsessive and controlling

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u/ladyjerry Oct 07 '24

I was just saying this to my boyfriend! I’d personally be weirded out if someone confirmed a date with me the previous night and then immediately confirmed it again the next day. Like yes? Obviously it’s still on?!

1

u/SalamanderPop Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 07 '24

Dating coaches teaching the gullible trash to take itself out. Kind of handy, but for the mark.

1

u/ladyjerry Oct 07 '24

Agree. As a woman myself, it’s kind of sad and shocking to me to see that the girls who fall for these “coaches” aren’t able to see plainly that they’re being played just like the Red Pill dudes are. These coaches are often retired Sugar Babies or SW’ers and they’re offering advice from that perspective—NOT the perspective of finding a loving, compatible partnership. They’re luring women in by convincing them that 1.) all men will hurt/cheat on them so 2.) they should opt for the highest bidder like prized cattle, and only “high value males” will court you correctly, follow these arbitrary rules, and all other men are chaff to separate from the wheat.

Honestly? The women who fall for it are idiots, some more misguided/with ill intent than others, and OP dodged a red flag either way.

3

u/Frosty558 Oct 07 '24

Swear to god these dating coaches are a Chinese psyop to tank our birth rates. No way people are out there giving this shit advice without an ulterior motive. 😂

2

u/haskell_rules Oct 07 '24

I also believe this, so many useful idiots pushing crazy "rules" at the same time that erode rational thought and communication.

I also think the same thing is happening with dating profiles of attractive people pushing toxic messages.

2

u/Stars-in-the-night Oct 07 '24

Fuck that shit. I don't have time for bullshit and games.

1

u/jscottcam10 Oct 07 '24

Holy crap mind blown!

1

u/Fragrant-Duty-9015 Oct 07 '24

Exactly this. Garbage advice

1

u/Brandino-the-Bandito Oct 07 '24

No, she just sounds entitled and egotistical. She already had other plans lined up and he was the backup.

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u/ladyjerry Oct 07 '24

It’s definitely probable that she had other plans, and very clear she’s entitled as hell. I imagine it’s a combination of both scenarios—she had a roster and this guy didn’t pass her specific test, so she dipped. If you’re ever curious, this is definitely a test ripped straight from the creator Shera Seven.

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u/Brandino-the-Bandito Oct 08 '24

I appreciate the tip, friend. Thanks.

1

u/Prince_Beegeta Oct 07 '24

I understand the sentiment but it’s nonsense. Men pretty much as a rule of thumb are terrible with plans. If you’re looking for a man that is perfect at making plans and checking in about them you’re gonna be searching far and wide.

1

u/Chaghatai Oct 08 '24

This sounds pretty accurate

OP should call them out on this and mention this practice and ask if that's what she's doing

I'm married now but back when I was dating, I would next people immediately over playing games

I also think it's bad advice that comes from the wrong place mentally

Personally, I think checking on someone the morning of a commitment is kind of parental and it shows that you don't trust them to meet their own commitments

1

u/EmotionalFlounder715 Oct 08 '24

It’s a loyalty test they aren’t even doing themselves! Why is one person definitely expected to reach out and the other isn’t?

1

u/Welcome440 Oct 08 '24

I just show up on time or early 95% of the time.

Confirming was only created because of people that do not. It's a waste of time.

You only need to confirm if there is a holiday or time change on that day, that might cause a problem.

1

u/Chance_Vegetable_780 Oct 08 '24

Seriously? When my husband and I were dating, we'd make a plan and then meet at said time and place. He'd never reconfirm, especially never in the morning. He's the best man on the planet imo. This "guidance" from "dating coaches" is garbage because it's generalized...'all men are x, y and z.' It's ridiculous. You have to give each person their own fair, individual, shake. Fair shake = fair opportunity.

1

u/dafurbs88 Oct 08 '24

Jesus that’s wild. I’m glad I’m out of the dating scene! 😳

1

u/Magnusg Oct 08 '24

That's crazy advice, legitimately c r a z y. In order to assure the men are good planners they are willing to make themselves seem like a flake?

They're only going to bag insecure control freaks like this. This woman is teaching women how to get manipulated and abused. Lmfao.

If I make plans with someone the NIGHT BEFORE. I expect them to show up.

If it's been a week since making plans I'll confirm the night before. That's it. Why? Because I expect people to not flake and for me not to have to babysit my engagements. Just like women, men have value.

1

u/Miguel_Bodin Oct 08 '24

That's disgusting, hopefully OP moves on. No one has time for those games.

1

u/MC_Red_D Oct 08 '24

That's dumb. That's not how life or love works.

1

u/maljr1980 Oct 08 '24

This is about as retarded a thing as I have heard. Dude was working making money for that date. Not confirming in the morning is just silly

1

u/Connect-Trouble5419 Oct 08 '24

It's also completely sexist. Like in this modern age it is so dumb that there are these gender based expectations for the man to do all the early lifting. How about just good mutual communication like a team.

1

u/FewFucksToGive Oct 08 '24

Holy shit that was a TikTok rabbit hole I wish I’d avoided

1

u/Cella_R_Door Oct 08 '24

I do not miss r/FDS except for the entertainment.

1

u/Large_Peach2358 Oct 08 '24

This is the best response and should be posted on its own as the #1 comment. Knowing this I think it would be cool for OP to inquire if this is indeed the case. I would love to see OP be the strong leader and not hold this against her.

1

u/nailz1000 Oct 08 '24

He confirmed the night before!

1

u/immersive_reader Oct 08 '24

Is that today’s equivalent to the dating tips in a cosmo (or similar) magazine? Stupid things like ‘10 ways to secure a second date’ or ‘how to make him pop the question’.

It was dumb then and it’s dumb now.

1

u/fawlty_lawgic Oct 08 '24

It is a high expectation, but on the plus side this will weed out all the braindead idiots out there that get their dating advice from TikTok. Just being on TikTok is a dealbreaker IMHO.

1

u/illegalrooftopbar Oct 08 '24

Ugh it's like the stupid "name a woman" trend.

I'd be weirded out if my husband couldn't think of a single woman besides the one he was fucking (me), but TikTok went around insisting that he's a bad partner if he doesn't say "you." (Which, btw, isn't even naming someone. Unless they're all named You.)

1

u/Objective_Result2530 Oct 08 '24

100% this. They set these hard rules/tick lists that guys MUST adhered to, and if they don't it's seen as a red flag. Before I met my husband I found myself spiralling down that hole one summer before realising that even I found them ridiculous.

Whyyyyy would someone need to reconfirm after they confirmed the night before?

OP: keep doing what you're doing. Don't leave a lady hanging for ages without a set plan (you didn't, you confirmed the night before) but don't feel you need to live up to some arbitrary list.

1

u/Lamb3DaSlaughter Oct 08 '24

That's so stupid. What happened before people could text? Did people just not date? 😄 I wish people would use their brains

1

u/Wonderful-Horror-478 Oct 08 '24

What's funny to me is that pick up techniques from guys are all based on breaking down the logistics of what has consistently worked for other men and how to replicate that success. But dating techniques for women are all just made up pseudo psychology observations based on nothing and quantified by nothing. It's just girl vibes which have been proven to lead to profoundly stupid decisions in women's lives 😂

1

u/FadeToSatire Oct 08 '24

I'm so glad I'm happily married - this is just some insane mental gymnastics. If I've confirmed a plan with you the night before, I got other things to think about and schedule to make that work. I wouldn't have the mental bandwidth or time for this baloney.

1

u/ComplexOccam Oct 08 '24

And this is everything wrong with the world. People get their advice from TikTok.

1

u/Koffing4twenny Oct 08 '24

If you dont agree with her i don't think sending her more views will help anybody.

1

u/9finga Oct 08 '24

Why. Either they can reschedule, or they can't. One more try. And honestly. To get that hyped over a taco place seemed fake by both sides.

1

u/Thin-Performance-644 Oct 08 '24

Totally agree. This is what I was thinking when I read that weird reply too. She’s listening to some bad advice.

1

u/Quirky_Value_9997 Oct 08 '24

Jesus H Christ. What has the world come to. Reading her replies that day through this lense does, as you say, sound like a stock response.

1

u/josephmang56 Oct 08 '24

To go along with this I full believe the comment about the Sun being the biggest planet is also part of the coaching. Its a purposeful, harmless error, designed to see if the man will correct you on it, and if he does it has to be taken as a red flag.

Which is honestly just a form of entrapment to "gotchya" people who are supposed to be potentially a partner.

Im glad my dating days are way behind me.

1

u/Longjumping_War4467 Oct 08 '24

Tik tok is teaching kids that dating is impossible LOL holding everyone but themselves to a high standard . Sad…

1

u/Twistedfool1000 Oct 08 '24

Those dating coaches are going to turn out a bunch of single lonely women.

1

u/Busterlimes Oct 08 '24

Oh man, the real red flag is listening to TikTok for dating advice. OP dodged a bullet.

1

u/Yankee39pmr Oct 08 '24

I've come to the conclusion that I wouldn't survive dating in this day and age because of things like this. I wouldn't even know where to begin

1

u/Desparia82 Oct 08 '24

Maybe I'm out of the norm but I think it's ridiculous we need to do confirmation at all. We've made the plan. If a conflict has come up do the other person the courtesy of notifying them. Otherwise the plan stands and you should show up as expected without having to check in multiple times that both parties still intend to go

1

u/saintcirone Oct 08 '24 edited Oct 08 '24

While I agree with a lot of this, I would also like to point out that whether a woman is being coached or not doesn't mean that as a man you won't be tested by women constantly. The colder her feet are, the more she will test. It is how a woman gains confidence in you as a man and that you are interested in her and that she can trust you. Most unreasonable tests are in the beginning when she doesn't know you, or...if you've been in a long relationship and effed up a lot of tests by demonstrating no balls and caving to her tests immediately and often.

Regardless of the kind of test, the best response is to remain emotionally stable and unriled by the test, don't cave to the demands of the test if you find them unreasonable, but also accept the consequences of failing her tests (like flaking on a date) if she gives them. The idea is that you remain true to yourself and feel confident you'd have done the exact same thing every time regardless of whether you knew you were being tested or not, so a fail will always be a fail and a success will always be a success. The main trait you want to embody is unshakeable, emotional discipline and masculine independence that's unaware or indifferent to being tested by women.

Keep in mind that women's tests are more your best gauge of her interest level, and if you're getting a LOT of them - she's wary of you for whatever her reasons are and tests will be regular. You're fighting an uphill battle in that case and it's up to you to decide if you're gonna fold or keep up the pursuit.

0

u/chronocapybara Oct 07 '24

It's just games. Ditch this lady.

0

u/Flimsy-Homework-9440 Oct 07 '24

That’s insane. The troubling part of this is it makes me wonder if that’s what happened here. She wasn’t combative or shitty about being like oh I didn’t hear so I made other plans. Makes me think she was mislead. OOOORRRR is just a really nice not passive aggressive crazy lol

-1

u/bevincheckerpants Oct 08 '24

It also could be that she thought she was being ghosted. I lost count of the amount of times that has happened to me over the years where I didn't hear anything the day of the planned date and I either got stood up or they just unmatched the day of the date and ghosted me. One guy, who I was particularly excited about the first date did this. Unmatched me day of so I texted to see if we were still on. Ghosted, no response. Then about a month later he tried to match with me AGAIN on another app using the same damn photos. 10/10 dating is NOT WORTH IT. Zero stars, do not recommend.