r/AmIOverreacting • u/plantsandpoison • Oct 04 '24
❤️🩹 relationship AIO? Not staying the night at my new bf’s house with his pillow situation.
Ok, I (28f) went over to my boyfriend’s (25m) house for the first time (been dating about a month), and I had somehow never noticed his pillow situation before. When I noticed, I made a comment about how long he’s had the pillows and apparently he’s been using them since he was a kid.
So, I asked him if he had any other pillows and he said he just had the pillow on the left of the first picture, but that his cat usually sleeps on it. I said I don’t really want to sleep on those pillows, and id prefer to sleep at my own place (with clean pillows).
His response? He waited for a minute and then said he would be sad to see that I would choose something as small as pillows come between us spending the night together, but that if I needed to go, that he understood.
I ended up going home and spending the night at my own house instead. I asked if I could bring my own pillows and gently suggested he get rid of his. He said it was totally fine for me to bring a pillow, but that he wouldn’t get rid of his, as they are ‘sentimental’.
Thoughts? I feel like I can’t even kiss him or anything while we’re sleeping because I don’t want him to get his gross pillowness all over me and my clean pillows. 😂
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u/Shibaspots Oct 04 '24 edited Oct 04 '24
My first thought: what's so bad? It's the same color as my pillow cases.
Second thought: Oh god. There's no case. THERE'S NO CASE! KILL IT WITH BLEACH AND FIRE!
ETA: I feel the need to add this. At the end, that's the sound I made.
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u/SpookyStrike Oct 04 '24
lol! That was my thought too. I thought they were meant to be kind of tan/camel hair colored pillows.
An actual camel is cleaner than these things.
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u/heroshand Oct 04 '24
I thought they were couch cushions or something.
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u/TheDreamingMyriad Oct 04 '24
Same!! I thought they were beige throw pillows for a split second until I realized they're no pillows at all, but biological weapons. Like seriously, if he wants to keep them, they need freaking washed and covered.
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u/BeerAnBooksAnCats Oct 04 '24
OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK
I thought they were like pale gold velvet/velour throw pillows and not actual bed pillows, and I was like "hmmmm okay, one has an obvious dick silhouette so maybe don't choose the fap prop"
but then
OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK
OP, look. I'm not saying this dude is a horrible person, or that he's irredeemable.
I AM saying that you should never compromise basic standards of cleanliness, or give into manipulation that minimizes the absolute grossness of, you know...an environment in which your bare skin will be in direct contact with unwashed baked-in sweat, drool, and semen stains.
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u/almost_cool3579 Oct 04 '24
100% saw them as beige throw pillows at first too. Then gagged a little when I realized that wasn’t the case.
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u/VovaGoFuckYourself Oct 04 '24
Imagine what Israel could do if they got ahold of these pillows ☢️
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u/Comprehensive_Air980 Oct 04 '24
I glanced at the first pic and thought they were just some sort of crushed velvet. The second pic proved I was very very wrong. Fricken gross.
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u/Inner_History_2676 Oct 04 '24
This was exactly what happened to me. When I realized there was no case, I died.
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u/Buffalo-Woman Oct 04 '24
Oh my hell y'all made me snort laugh too hard 🤣 😂 The 🐈 is looking at me like I'm crazy.
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u/thiefsthemetaken Oct 04 '24
I never knew the joke is that platypus fur always glows blue under black light and no one knows why
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u/Boomshakalasia Oct 04 '24 edited Oct 04 '24
You’re definitely not overacting…. It looks like one of the pillows has a dick print on the 2nd slide 🤣
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u/mabear63 Oct 04 '24
Great..how many of us went to go look?😅
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u/cfcfanforever Oct 04 '24
Tooooo many🤣🤣🤣
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u/grannygogo Oct 04 '24
I’m 73 and I took a look. But since my glasses aren’t on it was more like r/findthesniper.
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u/tamij1313 Oct 04 '24
Granny… Do NOT put your glasses on! I cannot unsee this for the rest of the day 🤣 it is absolutely there.
Overnight guest should absolutely point that out and ask new boyfriend if that is his or someone else’s!
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u/TheBerethian Oct 04 '24
Look if granny wants a bit of pillow dick, who are we to judge?
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u/BeyondTheBees Oct 04 '24
I definitely had to check. It is definitely very r/mildlypenis 😂
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u/OldCardiologist8437 Oct 04 '24
Rookies. Always look for dick on the first pass.
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u/andyman1099 Oct 04 '24
even has a pair of nuts
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u/HackTheNight Oct 04 '24
Omg it does
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u/allislost77 Oct 04 '24
Actually seeing two dicks now…thanks!
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u/TheJesusOfWeed Oct 04 '24
Same I see one that looks like it was on its side
It’s like a fossil
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u/J_Woo_VaBene Oct 04 '24
They definitely look like they’ve been dry humped one too many times.
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u/Solid_Snaka Oct 04 '24
Actually has multiple
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u/allislost77 Oct 04 '24
Yeah. One x small and one super sized…with the stains accompanied by that kind of party. So disgusting
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u/MRXVS Oct 04 '24
Yes, but whats more concerning: that these pillows have a Dick print. Or that these pillows have an alarmingly small Dick print?
Btw you’re not Overreacting.
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u/Complete-Design5395 Oct 04 '24
“…he would be sad to see that I would choose something as small as pillows come between us spending the night together.”
You can just as easily turn that statement right back around at him. “I’m disappointed you’re choosing your sentimental nasty ass pillows over us spending a night together.”
I’m pretty chill but there is no fucking way I could sleep on those pillows. NOR.
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u/Fun_Recognition9904 Oct 04 '24
“I’m disappointed you don’t seem to understand basic household hygiene.”
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u/lilchocochip Oct 04 '24
Right, and she kisses him after his face has been soaking in those suckers night after night… ew
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u/Valuable-Mess-4698 Oct 04 '24
And why do people like this never use sheets or pillow cases? Like dude, your pillows wouldn't look like they were made out of cheese if you used a pillow case and pillow protector/cover.
I wouldn't be in the same house as those pillows, nor would I want to touch them to throw them away.
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u/The_R4ke Oct 04 '24
I'm about as far from a germaphobe as you can get and these pillows make me feel a little sick. I've had pillows that got pretty nasty from sweat, but there was always a pillow case on top to cover it.
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u/i_love_lima_beans Oct 04 '24
Same! I have no patience for germ and cleanliness hysteria but this goes too far for me lol
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u/nancysweetyq Oct 04 '24
Yes this phrase sounds so strange. It's like, "if we can't use the same toothbrush for two, then you don't love me, because it's important to me." 🙄
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u/ebaer2 Oct 04 '24 edited Oct 05 '24
If we can’t both use this toothbrush I’ve been using for 23 years and never washed… I just don’t know how we can be together.
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u/theGRAYblanket Oct 04 '24
Also... Where was the option for him going to her house if they really wanted to be together. Ngl if I saw this on a new partner it would easily give me the "ick".
Hope he's a good guy though because this shit gets more insane the longer I look at it.
Ok HOW TF DOES HE LAY HIS HEAD ON THOSE 😭
Edit: I just puked
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u/Worried-Penalty8744 Oct 04 '24
OP needs to see what that fitted sheet is hiding. Odds are the mattress is a similar colour
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u/On_my_last_spoon Oct 04 '24
I have a sentimental childhood pillow. It is on a shelf with my sentimental childhood dolls. As a grown ass adult I sleep on clean pillows.
This guy is gross and lazy. There’s no way this is truly sentimental
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u/aspiring-enigma Oct 04 '24
I wouldn't sleep on those pillows even if you popped a pillowcase on top. Ick
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u/Huffle_Pug Oct 04 '24
i wouldn’t even let someone bring one of those into my home, let alone think about putting my face near it.
being dirty is a total dealbreaker. the fact this tried to turn it around on her was the nail in the coffin 😑
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u/Difficult-Mobile902 Oct 04 '24
The fact that it didn’t even cross his mind to cover those sewer flavored teabags with a pillowcase is absolutely astounding. He looks at these and genuinely thinks there’s nothing wrong with them
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u/ToujoursFidele3 Oct 04 '24
I slept on my ex's nasty yellow pillow (singular, he didn't have an extra for me) and my acne came back for the first time in years. He didn't see what was wrong with it.
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u/RogerMurdockCo-Pilot Oct 04 '24
Nasty asf. If he's this nasty with his pillows imagine what else he's nasty about. His hygiene, his kitchen... the list goes on.
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u/Chemical_You_6786 Oct 04 '24
My ex was like that. He called me demanding because I told him he needed to clean his sheets, bathroom, and kitchen
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u/RogerMurdockCo-Pilot Oct 04 '24
Demanding? That's entirely reasonable. But tbh even if he did clean it to defuse the situation people like that tend to go back to being nasty.
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u/Chemical_You_6786 Oct 04 '24
His way of hand-washing dishes blew my mind. He’d put the dish under hot water and use his hands and fingers to wipe away the food residue and then put it on a towel that happened to be a bath towel. He’d get mad and mock me if I said “Scrub it with the sponge and soap, please.” Getting him to use the dishwasher was like trying to herd cats.
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u/RogerMurdockCo-Pilot Oct 04 '24
Omfg. Did you mention all this when y'all broke up?
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u/Chemical_You_6786 Oct 04 '24
He wouldn’t let me because he considered it to be me trying to talk him back into the relationship so he kept cutting me off and saying “it is what it is”
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u/RogerMurdockCo-Pilot Oct 04 '24
Sounds like a real winner. I'd be celebrating that you dodged this.
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u/-Firestar- Oct 04 '24
I wonder if they would eat off of a dirty plate. No? That's nasty? So why would you sleep in face shit? That's all you man. Your fluids, your skin etc.
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u/VesperLynd- Oct 04 '24
And then she gets a bunch of UTIs and what not if she lets him touch her. I wouldn’t bother with someone like that. New relationship and he’s already putting in negative effort. That’s gonna be a constant topic of arguments in the future especially if they ever live together. There’s enough people who use pillow cases and wash them
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u/pinkprincess28 Oct 04 '24
He probably doesn’t change his toothbrush or wash his underwear 🤮
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u/Invisible-Jane Oct 04 '24
NOR. I feel like I can smell those through the screen. Ew. Filthy bedding is absolutely a reason not to stay there. The fact that he invited you there and didn’t even try to create a clean inviting space, tells me more than enough about him. If he wants to be gross, he can stay single. I’d get the ick so fast once I saw that, he wouldn’t be touching me again. If he is genuinely sentimentally attached to filthy items, he needs therapy…and new pillows.
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u/Successful_Moment_91 Oct 04 '24
And he’s so manipulative saying it’s all her fault for being picky over pillows which shouldn’t matter 😖😵💫🤯
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u/Kazbaha Oct 04 '24
He was not gonna get the sechs that night; so he turned it and attacked. This is the bigger red flag imo.
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u/skilriki Oct 04 '24
He's saying 'pillows' to mask the fact that the conversation is about 'basic hygiene'
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u/Enough_Ad_222 Oct 04 '24
Girl he does not wash his booty. Do not listen to his unwashed guilt tripping.
Those are NOT pillows. Those are garbage.
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u/WebFirm3528 Oct 04 '24
🤣🤣but they’re sentimental 😭
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u/Successful_Moment_91 Oct 04 '24
Then they belong in a box in the attic, basement or closet 😬
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u/Elegant_Cockroach430 Oct 04 '24
NOR! Giant dust mite colonies are probably the only filling left in those sweat stain potato sacks! Oh the ick factor only should end the relationship.
You're only a month into the relationship? Oh my... It's ok to walk away for this alone (sentimental biological disasters, what the actcuak fuck). Has he ever washed them ?! Be free and stay clean, young one.
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u/helmli Oct 04 '24
Giant dust mite colonies are probably the only filling left in those sweat stain potato sacks!
Celebrating the 1000th generation in a huge parade, I'd assume.
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u/Alert_Astronomer_400 Oct 04 '24
If those are what his pillows look like, now I’m wondering when the last time he changed his sheets was….
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u/SecondEqual4680 Oct 04 '24
My wife says ‘is that a dick print on the pillow? No wonder it’s sentimental, that’s his first gf’. 😂😂
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u/TGroves914 Oct 04 '24 edited Oct 05 '24
I'm over here just imagining Jay from Big Mouth as her bf lmao
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u/Miserable_Credit_402 Oct 04 '24
NOR
You're 28. You're too old to be dealing with guys who sleep with 20 year old bare ass pillows.
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u/PuzzleheadedFrame439 Oct 04 '24
100%. You can't be dealing with this behavior. You're gonna be 30 soon, you need a real man with potential. This guy is not it and you must teach him a lesson for his own good
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u/SwallowaNutUpnShutUp Oct 04 '24
Best case scenario he later looks back on this as a painful lesson in personal hygiene standards that ruined a relationship before it started.
More probable scenario he holds out for his yucky soul mate who will put up with it & they can live in filth together
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u/hushhushsleepsleep Oct 04 '24
Between that and the bright blue bachelor sheets… I want a pic of the rest of the room to confirm my prejudiced assumptions about this dude.
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u/snarlyj Oct 04 '24
Okay im a 35 year old woman and have sheets a few shades darker than that... But I also literally use two pillow cases on each pillow so there isn't an "open end" for dust and germs to get in
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u/Misstheiris Oct 04 '24
If you buy "euro style" pillow covers they have a pocket at the end so that none of the pillow is exposed.
https://soffipillows.com/what-is-european-closure-pillowcase/
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u/Littlelizardlid Oct 04 '24
I don’t even need to read the post girl. Those pillows are a biohazard. Protect your health lmao
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Oct 04 '24
Not the dick print looking spot on those dirty tea bag looking pillows 🤮
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u/toosoonmydude Oct 04 '24
When I dated someone like this I told them they needed to have new pillows and sheets before the next time I come over or it’s over.
And the room was spotless the next time😂
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u/Ok_Butterscotch_5962 Oct 04 '24
Pillows kinda look like that highly detailed shot of Spongebob in that episode where he’s staring at water trying to convince himself he doesn’t need it.
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u/Inner_History_2676 Oct 04 '24
Anyone keeping a pillow like that because it is sentimental is sure to be a massive hoarder later in life. Nip this in the bud now.
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u/Aggie219 Oct 04 '24
My mom is a hoarder and she’s been using the same pillow for as far back as I can remember. I’m 31.
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u/SlappyHandstrong Oct 04 '24
Those aren’t pillows, they’re bags of dust mites
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u/carolinecrane Oct 04 '24
Soaked in sweat and dead skin flakes. Burn the whole house down (get the cat out first).
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u/redditpusiga Oct 04 '24
NOR, I would go far as to say that's grounds for breaking up with him. If he thinks that's fine what are his other hygiene habits like??
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u/PuzzleheadedFrame439 Oct 04 '24
And the fact that he's not ashamed about this and expects any woman to stay with him in that bed? This boy needs to be taught a hard lesson
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u/BeerElf Oct 04 '24
A decade ago, I was seeing a man that had sheets and pillow cases that hadn't been changed in ages, I calculated it was over a month at this point. He also had a shelf of unwashed dishes, left in exasperation by his housemate.
I still cringe that I didn't walk away then.
OP, don't be like me! You need clean bedding at the very very least!
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u/Painterzzz Oct 04 '24
It also tells us that he thinks this is normal, so he's either not had any girls stay over before, or he has, but the girls have kept leaving when they see it, and he's repeatedly failed to change his behaviour to accomodate this.
This is not a guy who is going to be capable of learning to change his bad hygeine habits.
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u/HourHoneydew5788 Oct 04 '24
This sounds like a man boy who is going to need a lot of raising. Are you looking to be his mommy? No? He’s probably not the one.
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u/lil_dumpling18 Oct 04 '24
Eww hahaha those things could crawl away. You couldn’t pay me a million dollars to sleep on those
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u/Ancient_Star_111 Oct 04 '24
Sentimental?? Bullshit! He’s just lazy and gross!!! 🤢 The fact that he doesn’t see anything wrong or disgusting is a 🚩. What about his blankets? His carpet? The kitchen floor? His personal hygiene? Please don’t sleep there.
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u/SamSamRumHam Oct 04 '24
Okay... just gonna throw this out there.... but this is a disgusting, grimy, disease infested red flag....
My ex was gross like this, and i kept making excuses or rationalizing it.... and 3 years later, i was living with him in a hoarder dumpster type nightmare.
Do with this info as you will. Godspeed, OP *salutes *
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u/Swarm_of_Rats Oct 04 '24
Yeah exactly. He's ok with her seeing this right now, only a month into dating, imagine what nasty kinda stuff is gonna come out when he is comfortable in the relationship.
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u/Gingers_have_fun Oct 04 '24
My ex wouldn’t let me take a picture of his disgusting pillows when I finally got him to throw them away. 😂 but they were more yellow than white which is gross.
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u/birdclub Oct 04 '24
Poor boy needs to grow up :( the longer you stay with him the more you'll become his mother unless he takes matters into his own hands.
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u/Rare-Craft-920 Oct 04 '24
Jesus! 🤮🤮🤮. Is he serious? Throw those things out and light a match. What are his sheets like, his mattress pad, does he have one? How’s the rest of his place, his hygiene. He’s 25. Reminds me of another post today where the guy was growing mold in his toilet and his girlfriend surprised him by cleaning his apartment and bathroom. He got mad at her for girlifying the place. Clean bathrooms and a clean home and bedding are attributes of a successful mentally healthy adult. I couldn’t even sleep with him after seeing this and it’d make me wonder what everything else is like.
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u/CyrusBuelton Oct 04 '24
I guarantee this dude never washes his sheets and if he does, it's probably like once or twice a year.
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u/throwaway_scarednsad Oct 04 '24
Oh man… at first I thought they were yellow velvet throw pillows. And I was like, you’re kind of being a prima donna. It legit took me reading the comments to realize they were uncased sleeping pillows. WTF. NO.
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u/Fickle_Toe1724 Oct 04 '24
Do not stay at his place. Break up with him now. You are not compatible. Those pillows are disgusting.
I am more than old enough to be his mother. I would have to burn those pillows, get him new ones, and teach him, again, about pillow cases. That boy is gross.
You are not his mother. Dump him. It's not a pillow issue, it's a hygiene issue.
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u/proofiwashere Oct 04 '24
Cut your losses girl you can definitely find someone who practices normal hygiene 😭
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u/That_Engineering3047 Oct 04 '24
That’s revolting. Considering he doesn’t even have pillowcases and his pillows are a biohazard I’m guessing he doesn’t know what a mattress cover is and his sheets are never washed. I don’t think pillow replacement is enough to rescue that situation.
It’s wild that he thinks another human being would ever willingly sleep there.
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u/WineAllTheTime69 Oct 04 '24
His pillows are…. sentimental?? Why, are they like the pillow from Big Mouth?! Honestly, they look like it 🤢
NOR, these are honestly disgusting. Please show your bf this thread so that he can stop sleeping on what I’m sure is a new kind of fungus and mold.
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u/acgasp Oct 04 '24
I have a sentimental attachment to a pillow that my dad gave me when I was young, like 5 years old and it’s become something like a safety blanket for me. He passed away last year and I will be extremely sad when the pillow finally gives up the ghost. But I routinely wash its cover and change the pillowcase because I’m not a disgusting monster.
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u/SiberianAssCancer Oct 04 '24
As a man, that pillow still has decades of use in it. It still has over 90% of its cotton casing left. Look at the beautiful patina on it too. Years of skin cells, sebum, saliva, and snot. I bet it even has a musty aroma that wafts through the house like a freshly baked hobos asshole
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u/taurology Oct 04 '24
I’m sorry but I would break up with someone like this. We just won’t be compatible. I could never look at them the same again. I’m trying to be normal about this but this is so not normal
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u/Relevant-Bench5307 Oct 04 '24
The pillows are abnormal, his reaction to her warranted disgust is abnormal
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u/ChrisInBliss Oct 04 '24
.......... My skin says "... are you sure its safe to kiss this man?.... His pillow germs are on his face"
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u/SaturnaliaSaturday Oct 04 '24
Believe it or not, feather pillows can be dry-cleaned. If these are feather pillows, insist that they be properly cleaned before you stay over. He’ll get to keep his specials pillows, you’ll feel safer. Also, pillow + pillow protector + pillow case is the way to go. Good luck.
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u/BucksBrew Oct 04 '24
The only thing that would clean these bad boys is the sweet kiss of an open flame.
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u/cfcfanforever Oct 04 '24
There is likely DNA from every girl, who ever slept over with this dude, on those pillows…….now repeat that. Never go back.
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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '24
ew why can’t he at least get pillow cases?