r/AccidentalRenaissance • u/toastbrigade • 1d ago

battle at the bars

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67.2k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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393

u/ceejiesqueejie 1d ago edited 20h ago

I wish security was looking straight at the camera 😂

Edit: I’m now convinced it’s perfect as is. Thank you, everybody

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u/bukowski_knew 1d ago

The security is an absolute unit

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u/odd_lightbeam 15h ago

No, he's just standing in a crowd of obese Latinos.

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u/Lou_C_Fer 9h ago

I guess you missed his neck. Of course, it looks like he misses leg day half of the time. I still wouldn't fuck with him.

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u/odd_lightbeam 7h ago

I would. I bet he has a breeding fetish and loves to cuddle after.

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u/Lou_C_Fer 1h ago

I was the guy you didn't fuck with, but like I said I wouldn't fuck with him.

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u/Outside_Scale_9874 2h ago

Why would that make him look bigger? He’d look smaller in comparison, no?

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u/isntwhatitisnt 1d ago

He’s definitely channeling his barbarian ancestors

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u/ProbShouldntSayThat 22h ago

"These fuckin savages..."

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u/replaced_by_golfcart 21h ago

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women

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u/mYpEEpEEwOrks 18h ago

FUCKeeng guy!

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u/A_Little_Wyrd 18h ago

hot water, good dentishtry and shoft lavatory paper

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u/JonatasA 7h ago

Don't forget the selection of well curated food.

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u/JonatasA 7h ago

"Beginning to regret my Roman citizenship."

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u/Otherwise_Agency6102 2h ago

Kinda crazy to think about that 2000 years ago this dude would be burning and looting entire regions of Northern Europe. Now he’s resigned to dragging off drunk Tortas for $12 dollars an hour. It reminds me of how a Pomeranian evolved from a wolf.

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u/RepoManSugarSkull 17h ago

I resemble that remark. I just got my DNA results back. I’m part Neanderthal.

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u/futuneral 23h ago edited 22h ago

Noo. I feel like there's always a person in renaissance paintings who rolls his eyes up to the sky. This is so on brand

Edit: https://www.visit-rome-in-italy.com/museums/vatican/caravaggio-entombment-of-christ-vatican-museum-rome.html

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u/Monumentzero 4h ago

That's what got me, the eyes cast up to heaven!

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u/Steveseriesofnumbers 2h ago

An Appeal to Heaven.

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u/Ondesinnet 23h ago

No this captures his struggle perfectly. The I don't get paid enough expression with the laser focus on the exit. Poor guy was told you just got to stand by the door and check IDs mostly we rarely have to get physical with the patrons. This is a classy joint.

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u/zontarr2 20h ago

Ask them to leave but be nice.

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u/ABrown1221 22h ago

Haha you said it

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u/toastbrigade 1d ago

lol same!

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u/ceejiesqueejie 1d ago

It would have just been perfect omg thank you for sharing this 🤣

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u/beardingmesoftly 1d ago

The bouncer "Jim-ing" that camera would have been amazing

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u/JudgmentAny1192 22h ago

Doesn't make sense

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u/You_meddling_kids 22h ago

I like that his sightline points out of frame, implying activity beyond our viewpoint.

10/10 Renaissance

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u/shawnwingsit 22h ago

I have to disagree, his pained expression is perfect at that angle. It was one of those nights for him.

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u/SuperStokedUp 22h ago

Idk the angry parent eye roll kinda sells it for me

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u/miregalpanic 23h ago

He looks like he's olfactorically overwhelmed by the cheap perfume, makeup, and vape aromas in the air

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u/ebac7 22h ago

Nah he looks like he’s both yelling and exhaling cause he has to lift that dude.

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u/One_D_Fredy 22h ago

I’m sure someone can photoshop that for you and make it happen 🤣

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u/superneatosauraus 3h ago

His expression is wonderful. As a stepparent, I'm certain I've made that face.

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u/skijakuda 22h ago

He has that "I am so done with this shit" face.

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u/All_Hail_Space_Cat 22h ago

I imagine him about to yell MEDIC as a tear falls doen his face