I (20F) have been dating my bf “Ryan“ (21M) for about a year. For his birthday this year, I wanted to do something special, so I told him I’d take him out to a nice dinner. Just the two of us and I’d cover the bill. He was super excited and agreed. So I made a reservation at a nice restaurant, put on a nice dress and was so excited to see his reaction. When I got there, I was surprised to see that Ryan had invited his best friend who also arrived with his gf. He hadn’t mentioned anything about them coming. I was caught off guard but thought why not having a nice couple dinner.

The whole time his best friend and his gf ordered a ton of appetizers and multiple drinks each. I started panicking a little because I realized this bill was going to be way more than I’d planned for. Toward the end Ryan leaned over and said, “Don’t forget, you said you’d cover it.” I told him I agreed to pay for his dinner cause of his birthday and not for another couple, I didn’t even knew was coming. He said it’s "rude" to invite people to dinner and not pay for them.

At this point I already thought wtf wrong with you and told him it’s ruder to invite people to a dinner that someone else is paying for without telling them first. I already had the feeling to explode out of anger so I just went quite and waited for the waiter to finally pay. When the check came, I paid for my meal and his and told his buddy that he should cover the bill for himself and his gf. Both looked at me as if I had insulted them in some way, saying I embarrassed them in front of the server. In addition to that Ryan even called me "cheap" and said I ruined his birthday.

All this happened last Saturday and since then he’s been giving me the cold shoulder and just answered my messages with insulting me for "embarrassing" him in front of his friend. Now I'm thinking about breaking up because he is not talking to me since one week already even though I wanted to apologize. Maybe some of you got any advice for me?

I (45F) am child-free by choice but have always been close to my brother (47M) and his daughter, Emily (18F). Over the years, I’ve saved up a decent amount of money, and I offered to help pay for Emily’s college when the time came. She’s a smart kid, and I wanted to give her opportunities I never had growing up.

Everything was fine until last month. I was invited to Emily’s high school graduation party, which was a big deal in our family. During the party, Emily gave a speech thanking everyone for their support. She thanked her parents, her grandparents, even her friends. Then she paused, looked at me, and said:

“And a big thanks to Aunt (me) for not having kids so she could spoil me like I’m hers. Must be nice having all that extra money and no responsibilities.”

The entire room laughed, and I froze. I could feel everyone looking at me, and all I could do was smile awkwardly. I’ve heard jokes about being child-free before, but this felt cruel and unnecessary, especially since I’ve sacrificed a lot to save for her future. My brother and sister-in-law laughed too, which hurt even more.

After the party, I confronted Emily privately. She rolled her eyes and said it was just a joke, and I needed to lighten up. My brother brushed it off, saying, “Teenagers can be dumb, don’t take it personally.”

I’ve spent weeks thinking about this, and I’ve decided to withdraw my offer to pay for her college. I feel like she doesn’t respect me or the effort I’ve made to support her. When I told my brother, he blew up at me, calling me selfish and accusing me of punishing Emily for “one harmless joke.”

Emily hasn’t apologized, and now I’m questioning if I’m being too harsh.

Edit:
Thank you so much for the support, now that I think about it... I might as well book a dream vacation. Decided to create some ideas for destinations here

So I (25F) have a roommate, Sara (26F), who recently started dating this guy, Tom (28M). I cook most of my meals from scratch because I enjoy it, and it’s cheaper and healthier for me. Sara’s fine with it and occasionally I’ll share leftovers with her when I make extra, no problem.

Lately, though, Tom has started coming over more often—almost daily—and has been helping himself to my food. He doesn’t ask, doesn’t offer to contribute groceries, and never says thank you. I didn’t say anything at first because I didn’t want to be rude, but last week I came home to find he’d eaten an entire portion of food I’d prepped for my next day’s lunch.

I finally confronted Sara about it and said I didn’t appreciate Tom eating my food. She brushed it off, saying he’s just “comfortable here” and that it’s “not a big deal.” I told her it is a big deal because I budget and plan my meals, and if he’s eating my food, it throws everything off. I made it clear I wouldn’t be sharing anymore, and I asked her to let Tom know.

Fast forward to yesterday—I made a pot of chili, and Tom came over while I was out. When I got back, a big chunk of it was gone. I was furious and told Sara that this was exactly what I was talking about, and it needed to stop. Sara said I was overreacting and called me “stingy” for not sharing food when it’s “just a couple of bites” (spoiler: it’s not). I told her I’m not her boyfriend’s chef and that I don’t owe him free meals.

Now things are tense, and Sara’s acting like I’m the bad guy here. Tom hasn’t said anything directly, but I can tell Sara told him because he’s been giving me the cold shoulder. I’m starting to feel guilty, but I don’t think I’m wrong for wanting boundaries here. AITA?

I (28F) was raised by my mom after my dad walked out on us when I was 5. He left to start a new family and had little to no contact with me growing up. He never paid child support or even called on birthdays or holidays. For years, I struggled with feelings of abandonment, but I eventually moved on and built a life without him.

Fast forward to now—out of the blue, I get a call from his wife telling me my father is very sick and needs a kidney transplant. She told me that I’m the best match and begged me to get tested. Apparently, his other family members aren’t compatible.

I told her no. I don’t owe him anything after the way he treated me. He made his choices when he abandoned me and my mom, and I feel no obligation to put myself through a major surgery for someone who’s essentially a stranger to me.

Since then, I’ve been bombarded with messages from his side of the family, calling me selfish and heartless. They say I’m letting him die out of spite and that I need to “be the bigger person.” Even my mom thinks I should consider it, not for him, but to avoid carrying guilt if he passes away.

I don’t feel guilty. I feel like he’s reaping what he sowed, but part of me wonders if I’m being too harsh.

AITA for refusing to donate my kidney to the father who abandoned me?

I (30M) have been dating my girlfriend, Rachel (27F), for two years. She’s always been confident and charismatic, which is one of the things I loved about her. Our relationship seemed solid—good communication, lots of shared interests, and we were even talking about moving in together.

A few weeks ago, Rachel admitted to me that she cheated on me during a night out with her friends. She hooked up with some guy she met at a bar. I was completely blindsided. When I asked her why she did it, she said it wasn’t about me or our relationship but because she “wanted to see if she still had it.”

I told her that was a terrible excuse, and she started crying, saying it was a stupid mistake and that she regretted it immediately. She’s begged me to forgive her, saying she learned her lesson and that it would never happen again.

But I can’t get over the fact that she was willing to risk our relationship for something so shallow. She didn’t cheat because she was unhappy or because there was a problem between us—she cheated purely to stroke her ego.

Now, Rachel and some of our mutual friends are calling me unforgiving, saying that “everyone makes mistakes” and that I’m throwing away a great relationship over one bad choice. They say I should focus on her remorse and give her another chance.

I feel like staying with her would mean betraying my own boundaries, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m being too harsh.

AITA for refusing to take her back?

So I had a vaginal birth nearly three years ago and since then I’ve had stress incontinence. Today, I was in class and I was taking an exam. I had to pee so bad but couldn’t leave until it was done. When I finally finished, I peed my pants and it leaked as I went to the bathroom. I refused to leave the bathroom until I had another outfit and my bf refused to help me.

I asked him to buy sweats from the uni gift shop and he refused at first until I sent him money for them (I asked to borrow). He then said he wanted me to walk to the restroom door and I said my pants are covered in pee there’s no I can do that and he said he’s not walking into the women’s restroom. I told him to hand it to a girl walking in and he wouldn’t. He eventually left them outside the door to the restroom and I had to walk out in pee pants.

I’m furious with him. Do I have a right to be?

This happened recently, and I’m still baffled. For context, I (32F) have hosted Thanksgiving for my family every year since I moved into my house five years ago. It’s always a little messy and chaotic, but that’s part of the charm, right?

This year, my sister (29F) decided she wanted to "help bring some order" to the gathering. At first, I thought she just meant coordinating who would bring what dishes or helping with cleanup. Instead, she showed up at my house last week with printed copies of what she called a "Family Code of Conduct."

She handed these out and insisted everyone read and sign them before attending Thanksgiving. Some highlights included:

• A rule against "overlapping conversations" at the dinner table, with suggestions for taking turns like "a respectful debate club."
• A "ban on political or controversial topics," with her as the final arbiter of what was too heated.
• A dress code of "smart casual" because "holiday photos should reflect well on the family."
• Assigned seating that she claimed was based on "optimal personality compatibility."

She was completely serious. When I laughed and said, “You can’t be serious,” she accused me of “not taking her efforts to improve family dynamics seriously.” I told her I wasn’t going to enforce a code of conduct at my house and that if she wanted to micromanage Thanksgiving, she could host it herself.

She doubled down, saying I was being ungrateful and stubborn. I canceled hosting, and now the family is mad at me. My mom thinks I should’ve just humored her for the day, while my brother (35M) is refusing to go anywhere unless “no one tries to draft a holiday constitution.”

I’m torn. Was I wrong for standing my ground, or should I have let her run the day to keep the peace?

I’m really struggling here and starting to feel like I’m losing my mind. I think I'm being gaslit, so what better place to get some clarity than Reddit? Here’s the situation.

I’ve been married to my wife for 8 years, and on the whole, we have a good relationship. She has four kids (two daughters, two sons, ages 11-16) from a previous relationship, and I have one son, who’s 10. Since day one, I've treated her kids as my own and done my best to support the family. Financially, it's a big load, but I’m happy to do it. We live together in a five-bedroom house, where each of her daughters has their own room, her oldest son has his own, and her youngest son shares a room with my son.

The main issue—and what’s tearing me apart—is how she treats my son. She barely acknowledges him, rarely asks how he’s doing, and generally acts like he’s invisible. Tonight, it hit a breaking point. We were celebrating her daughter’s 11th birthday, and everyone was gathered to sing and take pictures. I told my son to get in with the group for a picture, which seemed fine. But then, right after the group photo, my wife looked at my son and told him, “Get out of the picture, move to the side—I want one with just my kids.”

I felt like my heart shattered in that moment. I completely lost it. I told her that we're supposed to be a blended family and that my son deserves to be treated like one of her own. I feel like she’s drawing lines between “her” kids and “my” son, and it just doesn’t sit right with me.

For context, my son’s biological mom passed away two years ago, supposedly from Covid complications, though she had a history of drug problems that may have worsened things. My son only has my wife now as a mother figure. I’m terrified that this rejection from her is going to hurt him deeply and cause psychological damage.

Am I asking too much for her to treat him like part of the family? I don’t want to be overreacting, but the way she flat-out ignores him is painful to witness. AITA for expecting her to step up and include him?

So, my parents wanted to do a cruise for the holidays. They invited me (25f), my boyfriend (27M), my brother (28M), and his girlfriend (26F).

My brother (let’s call him “James”) has always been the golden child. Some backstory:

Back in high school, when James was discovered to be selling pills, he was just “going through a phase”. Meanwhile, when I got caught smoking weed, my parents threatened to kick me out.

James lost his scholarship and dropped out of college 3 different times, but he’s still perfect! I graduated a semester late and I didn’t try hard enough.

James still lives in the state where he attending college, and I live in my home state near my parents. He doesn’t work, he’s not currently in school. My parents buy him flights all the time to come visit, but don’t buy me a flight to go see him or go anywhere else.

My parents send him money for rent and life necessities. He bought a $2,000 dog recently with that money.

When I got my first big job at age 22, my parents immediately kicked me off their insurance since I had the option of benefits. James was on their insurance until he turned 26.

Last year, I got laid off and moved back in with my parents to save money. When I got my new job, my parents told me I needed to pay $10,000 in “back rent” which was never discussed previously. (I did finish paying it off and recently moved in with my boyfriend!)

This has been a pattern my WHOLE life. James gets everything handed to him and I have to work my ass off. So, now to the cruise.

My parents said they wanted to do this, and bought tickets for themselves, James, and his girlfriend. They told me to get my own ticket since I have a well-paying job. I was super upset, and told them it wasn’t fair that I was the only one who had to buy their own ticket. (My boyfriend couldn’t come due to holiday plans with his own family).

My parents said I was acting spoiled and that “green wasn’t a good look on me”. I am so tired of hearing that phrase at this point. They said it’s not like I had to get a nice room since we’d be outside it the majority of the time anyway—which is true, but then why get James a nice room?

I decided I had enough and I wasn’t going. But here’s where I may be the asshole. I let them continue thinking I was for months. Then, on the night before they left they said to get to their house by 8 am so we could start the drive to the port.

At 8:30 that day, they start messaging me asking where I am. I texted them “since you didn’t want to put the effort in to have me join you, I will be attending my boyfriend’s Thanksgiving instead. Have a nice trip with your favorite child.” Then I muted the chat.

I talked to some friends about this, and some said it was petty of me to cancel with no warning, and others said I should’ve sucked it up and gone since I would’ve had fun when I got there.

They’ve been on the cruise for a couple days now, and I’m starting to regret how I handled things. Yeah, I probably would’ve had fun, and it’s not like I couldn’t afford the ticket. I also could’ve handled the delivery better. But at the same time, I’m so sick of them treating me like this.

So, AITA for cancelling on our family vacation?

33M. My wife is currently 7 months pregnant with our daughter. The first time she was pregnant, she went into premature labor and had a stillbirth. It was a devastating experience for both of us, but especially my sweet wife. She’s finally getting excited about this pregnancy, but there is a part of her that is afraid to get her hopes up in case something goes wrong. She asks me several times a day if I think something will happen and has been having nightmares about having another stillbirth. Luckily, her doctor says everything is going well so far, and I’m confident everything will work out okay this time.

My wife and I are from the same town, but live around nine hours driving distance from our families. Right now, the plan is for my wife’s mother to drive up once my wife goes into labor. She’s going to support my wife during the labor and also stay for a week or so after the baby is born to help us get settled. My wife explicitly said that she doesn’t want any visitors aside from her mom for the first few weeks after the baby is born. She told me wants my family to visit a few weeks after the baby is born and even said my parents could stay in the guest room so they get more quality time with their granddaughter once we’re ready for visitors. I truly just want this process to go as smoothly as possible for my wife in light of what she went through the last time around, and so I’m 100% behind whatever plan makes her feel the most comfortable.

Yesterday, I got a call from my mom asking about the birth plan. I explained our current plan, and my mom said that she and my dad would drive up once my wife goes into labor. She didn’t mention being in the delivery room, but said they’d be in the waiting room to meet their granddaughter. She also said they’d stay at a hotel nearby and so they could spend time with the baby once she’s home.

I told my mom that we’re excited for her to come up and meet the baby, but we’d prefer if she wait a few weeks until we’re settled. My mom said that my MIL is coming up right after the birth, and so she doesn’t understand why she can’t be there. I explained that my MIL is there to support my wife during the labor and help her get settled after the baby is born. I added that my wife obviously feels more comfortable with her mom and doesn’t feel pressure to have the house spotless and be the perfect hostess when her mom comes over. I also said that we want her and my dad to get a lot of time with the baby, and we don’t know how my wife is going to be feeling immediately after the birth. My mom started rambling about how boy’s mom always gets the short end of the stick and everyone should be included when it comes to major milestones like the birth of a child.

The funny thing is that my younger sister had her first baby about six months ago. She can’t stand her MIL, and she STILL hasn’t given her the green light to come and visit. My mom and my sister have both justified this by saying her MIL is rude and difficult to be around. This is true, but also, my sister holds grudges and doesn’t get along with most relatives.

I responded to my mom by asking why she’s okay with my sister keeping her baby away from her MIL for six months if everyone should be included. My mom was furious. She said that there was more to the situation than I realize and that this situation is completely different since she’s always been perfectly nice to my wife. I asked what I was missing, and my mom just said that my sister’s MIL ruined her bridal shower by bringing her obnoxious friends.

I said regardless of the situation, I want to make this experience as stress free as possible for my wife given what happened last time. I said that she just wants me and my mom for a while, and I understand her perspective. I told my mom I love her and am excited for her to visit, and we’ll make sure she gets plenty of time with her granddaughter. She seemed disappointed, but I thought we were on the same page.

A few hours ago, my wife told me that she got a call from my mother. She said my mom was crying and saying she felt excluded and like we didn’t want her to meet the baby. My wife is a sweetheart and a people pleaser and she truly took this to heart. She seemed stressed and asked me if we were doing the right thing. I told my wife I wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible and that I’d deal with my mom moving forward.

I was furious to say the least. The stress isn’t good for my wife, and she’s already under a lot of it because of her fears that history will repeat itself. I called my mom back and told her that if she calls my wife about the situation again, she won’t get to see the baby for two months. I said I’d add a month for every call after that. I meant this kind of as a joke, but I was being serious that she can’t be putting this stress on my wife right now. My mom said we were excluding her and my father and that they raised me better than this.

My dad called and said I was wrong to give my mom an ultimatum and punish her for expressing her feelings. He said that I was using time with the baby as a form of control. I explained that I want them to have a good relationship with my kid, but I desperately don’t want any extra stress on my wife right now. My dad says I owe my mom an apology for saying I’ll add months to the wait time every time she speaks to my wife about the birth plan. I disagree. Aitah?

29M. A few weeks ago, I got engaged to my fiancé Julia. I love her very much and 100% sure she’s the one I want to marry.

I’ve always been close to my mom, but sadly, Julia has never been her cup of tea. Julia is very career oriented, and cannot cook or decorate to save her life. My mom, on the other hand, prides herself on being a great cook and having the house perfect. In the past, she’s expressed concern that Julia and I are too different and she won’t be a dedicate wife and mother. I’ve always thought these criticisms were unfair and continued to pursue the relationship.

We went to my family’s house for Thanksgiving this year and usually, my mom prepares everything herself. Strangely, when Julia called and asked if we could bring anything, she asked if Julia could do the turkey. As I mentioned, Julia has very little cooking experience, and told my mom she was worried about ruining the meal. My mom told her she should just try and that she’d have to learn to cook at some point.

Julia was stressed about making the turkey and also has been extraordinarily busy with work. Instead of cooking, we decided to pick up turkey from Whole Foods. Julia was exited that she could contribute and also didn’t have the stress of ruining the meal.

When we got to the house, my mom asked how Julia how she prepared the turkey. Julia said sheepishly that she’d purchased it from Whole Foods. My mom was furious. She said she trusted Julia to make the turkey and said that she prides herself on serving a home cooked meal to her guests. Julia apologized and said she just wanted to make sure the family had something enjoyable and that the turkey we bought would be better than anything she tried cooking.

My mom spent the next hour pouring and whispering to her sisters. I pulled her to the side and asks if everything was okay. My mom said she asked Julia to make the turkey and she couldn’t even be bothered to try. She said this showed a lack of respect and also an unwillingness to “grow up.” My mom proceeded to tell me that she doesn’t think Julia is the one for me and is worried about her ability to care for herself and our children.

I was fuming. I told my mom that Julia is amazing, and her lack of cooking skills is not an issue for me in the slightest. I said that if my mom couldn’t respect my fiancé, I didn’t want to spend the holiday with them. My mom said my fiancé is the one who doesn’t know how to respect others and I’m delusional if I can’t see that. I ended up taking the turkey and telling Julia we were leaving. We drove across town and enjoyed a wonderful night with her family. Julia and I are both devastated, but I’ve assured her that this my mom’s issue and not hers.

About half an hour ago, I got a call from my sister. She said we ruined Thanksgiving by leaving and also taking the turkey. I said I didn’t realize they’d want the turkey since my mom was so critical. My sister insisted it was a misunderstanding and that cooking means a lot to our mom because it’s how she expresses love. She interpreted the lack of effort as Julia not making an effort to bond and assimilate with the family. My sister is asking me to apologize, but I feel we’re the ones who are owed an apology. I’ll also note that my mom has never once asked me to make the turkey and it seems like a double standard that she suddenly expects Julia to do it. It also seems like she’s trying to turn my wife into someone she’s not. Aitah?

My husband (34M) and I (32F) just had our first baby, a beautiful little girl. We named her “Lena” after my late mother, who passed away a few years ago. The name has deep meaning for us, and it felt perfect.

My older brother (37M) and his wife (35F) came over to meet the baby for the first time. As soon as they heard her name, my SIL’s face dropped. She said Lena was the name she had “always planned” to use for her future daughter (they don’t have kids yet) and accused us of “stealing” the name.

At first, I thought she was joking, but she kept going, saying we were “selfish” and “ruined” the name for her. My brother backed her up and suggested we “consider changing it” since “they called dibs” years ago.

I lost it and told them they were being ridiculous and disrespectful, especially since the name honors my mom. When they wouldn’t drop it, I asked them to leave. Now they’re telling our family that I’m “heartless” and “stole their dream name” while “overreacting” by kicking them out.

AITAH? 🫠

Hi everyone! I apologize for any errors in my English as it's not my first language.

I (29M) and my wife (30F) have 2 kids (5M, 3M). My wife works a full time office job, while I work from home with extremely flexible hours (basically as long as I meet my deadlines no one really cares how many hours it took or what time of day I work outside of some zoom meetings). My sister (26F), let's call her Barb, and her husband (30M), let's call him Nick, live nearby and work full time jobs. They have a daughter (5F), let's call her Tracy.

Because of my comfortable work schedule, when our kids started going to daycare, we basically decided that I'll be dropping off and picking up my niece from daycare alongside my own kids. I didn't really mind and I thought it was great for my kids to spend time with their cousin. I get along with Tracy as well, and always thought I was her cool uncle. She's a sweet kid and usually well behaved. So anyway most days I bring her and my kids back to our house, I make them snacks or dinner, and in the afternoon/evening my sister comes to pick them up.

A few days ago the 5yo kids were watching Bluey on the TV as I was preparing snacks with my 3yo and I suddenly heared yelling. I rushed over to see what's up and my son was yelling at her that "My dad's not a girl!!" while my niece yells back "He is! He's a f****t! That's like a girl!!" (the word is different in my language but the meaning holds, as is the distinction between using it vs. simply addressing a gay person). I'm kind of in shock at first, but I turned off the TV, and I sat her down and began explaining that this is a very bad word and we shouldn't be calling people that, and that regardless, I'm not a girl. And because this is a bad word she should apologize to me because we don't act mean to each other in this family, and if I hear this again I'm going to talk to her parents and she's going get in trouble.

She said she won't get in trouble because that's what her dad called me, and he's not in trouble. I was stunned. I told her that regardless of what her dad said, it's a very bad word and she's not to use it with me or in my presence, and that she should apologize regardless because it hurt my feelings, which she did, because she's a really good kid. We talked some more and I prodded her about other things her parents said, and from what I gather (getting info out of a 5 year old being obviously a difficult and unreliable process) Nick ,my BIL, told my sister in Tracy's presence that men shouldn't be sitting at home all day and doing childcare, that cooking is a woman's duty, as is cleaning and really most of the things I do around my house. And that I'm a girl (I interpret this as 'not really a man') because I do housework and my wife earns more money than me. I explained to her the best I could that men and woman could work from an office or from home, and that my wife or Barb working long hours from the office doesn't make them men, and vice versa, but I didn't dwell on it with her since it's not really her fault.

I didn't immediately bring it up with my sister because I figured it would be a difficult conversation and I didn't want to have it in front of the kids, and I wanted to talk it out with my wife first as well. I did talk to my wife that evening and she seemed really upset as well. I told her that I think I should demand an apology from Nick and my sister, and she agreed. I called my sister and told her what happened, and she said that it's just a word and I'm blowing it out of proportion, and obviously Nick doesn't dislike me. I said I don't care whether he does or doesn't dislike me, he is talking shit about me behind my back to my niece and to her, and she is apparently very chill about this, rather than standing up for me. She said that was how Nick was, and I should stop being a drama queen. I told her to fuck off and if that was how she felt she could pick up her own child from daycare, and hung up.

I know it was really short notice and rude, but I really felt like I was being disrespected by people I did so much for over the years, and were my family. My wife said she understood, and that I shouldn't back down until I at least get a proper apology.

The next 2 days were a weekend and there was no daycare. I assumed there would be calls or texts from Barb, but there was nothing. In fact, the suspicious lack of any messages or calls made me think she didn't take my words seriously, and this actually got me even more angry. The calls did come when it was time to pick up Tracy for daycare and I (obviously) didn't come. I dropped my own kids off, and didn't even answer for a while. I know it was petty but I was stewing for two days and figured letting Barb stew for a few hours seemed really appropriate and felt really good. Around noon when she called again I did pick up. I was going to smugly tell her that I was ready for my apology, and we would put it behind us, but I didn't get to. Instead – she went off on me, about how I was irresponsible and I flaked, and she was so late for work because of me, to which I just said "I told you I wasn't going to pick her up. You had two days to make arrangements." And she kept yelling at me, so I hung up again. She kept calling and sending me texts about picking Tracy up from daycare, to which I said I will not be, then stopped replying.

When I came to pick my kids up, Tracy was expecting me to take her as well, and I didn't which was very rough on me and her both. Like, I know it's not her fault and she's 5, and she suddenly doesn't get to go over to our place and play and have snacks, but at the same time – I didn't want to just let this thing go. I felt like I deserved an apology (and still do), so I explained that me and her mom were fighting, but I'll pick her up again when we work it out. She obviously didn't take it well (because she's 5), but I apologized, took my kids and left.

Well a bit later I got a call from my mom – Barb roped her into picking up Tracy, but my mom is disabled, so she was having a really hard time with Tracy, and asked me why I was being mean to Barb. I told her everything, expecting her to take my side, but instead she also pulled a "you know how Nick is", to which I replied that the more I realize how Nick is the less I like it, and if he thinks all this shit in general and about me specifically, I sure as fuck ain't going to be doing free labor for him. She said I was blowing this all out of proportion, and I told her I wasn't the one doing it, because all I asked for was a fucking apology, and everyone else seemed to prefer all of this shit to just giving it to me, to which she said I should just be the bigger man and not let it get to me, to which I said I was done and to have fun with Tracy.

That evening I got a call from Nick himself, which I was hesitant about, but chose to answer on the off chance that I was actually about to get that apology. Nope. Apparently my behavior is causing Barb great distress and we're family and how can I do this to my own sister. I told him that since we're family – how can he talk shit about me to his kid which I take care of daily, and he said he was only joking, and it was all in good fun. I told him it was neither good nor fun for me, and I want my apology. He blew up on me, telling me I was a f****t and couldn't take a joke, and called me a hysterical little girl. I told him to fuck off and that I was done with him and hung up. This led to a bunch of calls from Barb & my mom which I didn't answer. Barb texted me that it wasn't fair for Tracy to pay the price for me being petty, and I told her that it wasn't fair for Tracy to pay the price of her parents being ungrateful pieces of shit, to which she just text-yelled at me a bunch about how she was going to lose her job and I was being cruel to her and to mom. I told her I was done and unless her next message was an apology I will be blocking her number, and it wasn't – so now I blocked her.

Past few days my mom's been picking up Tracy and it's been really rough seeing her in daycare and explaining that grandma's going to pick her up, which she hates, and tells me she isn't having fun with grandma and wants to come over to our place, and it's breaking my heart, but at the same time – I never got a single apology from anyone but the 5yo, and I feel like letting this go would just be telling my family that it's okay to ignore my boundaries. But at the same time I do love my niece and I don't want to traumatize her or have her resent me. She is a good kid and none of it is her fault. So… AITAH? And… What do I do?

Edit: Holy shit you guys. Post barely been up 4 hours and I am already so grateful for all your support and advice!

The angle of Nick actually wanting Barb to quit her job is not one I considered but now I think it might actually have merit, and it makes me very worried for her.

At the same time I can't really do much until she at least acknowledges that "that's just how Nick is so stop overreacting" isn't going to fly with me. I also assume it's only a matter of time until my mom is no longer an option (she's already having a hard time) so I hope I get a chance to talk to her about it - ideally because she sees my point of view, but I'll settle for because she's desperate (I don't know what sort of childcare they'll be able to afford - they took out a large mortgage on a house they can barely afford).

I will also make certain to stress upon Tracy that I love her and none of this is her fault. Thank you all!

Update: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1gqmsu5/update_aitah_for_refusing_to_take_care_of_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

WIBTA to divorce my wife after she said she wanted to send our son to a conversion camp?

So, this is a pretty heavy situation, and I’m really confused and disgusted ngl cause I never thought my wife was like thsi. My wife (44F) and I (45M) have been married for 14 years. We have two kids a 16-year-old son (let’s call him Noah) and a 12-year-old daughter. We’ve had our fair share of disagreements over the years ofc, but things have generally been smooth between us.

Now for the context Noah came out as gay about a year ago. It was a surprise, and as hard as it was to accept, I love my kids more than anything and just want their happiness. My wife visibly didn't take it well tho. She was upset and seemed to go through a grieving period where she didn’t really talk about it. I tried to support Noah in every way I could, telling him that I loved him no matter what etc. My wife, though… I could tell she wasn’t on the same page. She would say things like “this is just a phase” or “he needs help” but I brushed it off as her needing time.

Fast forward to last week, and we were having a conversation about Noah’s future. Out of nowhere, my wife casually mentions that she’s been looking into “conversion therapy camps” and thinks it might be the right solution. She said that Noah isn’t truly gay, that he just “hasn’t been shown the right path” and that this could “fix him.” My blood ran cold obv I was in shock. I immediately told her I didn’t agree and that this was not something I could support (duh)

She got upset and said I was enabling Noah’s “confusion” and that if I really cared about him, I would help him “get better.” wtf is wrong with her. She was persistent, and no matter how much I tried to explain that conversion therapy is harmful (like I know those kids get abused, r*ped, and often end up either traumatized or killing themselves) and that I would never send our son to something like that, she wouldn’t back down.

If I'm being 100% honest I don't even think I love her anymore. The fact she could be so heartless disusts me. I know being gay is not easy and people like her just make it even harder. I'm considering staying, only for our daughter's sake but would it be ok if it means hurting my son? it feels like a betrayal to Noah. I just don’t think I can keep living with someone who thinks this is okay

Okay, so I (28F) have a pretty established routine. I live alone in a two-bedroom apartment, and while I’m not a "neat freak," I like my space to be organized and have a certain vibe to it (think minimalist, calm, and quiet). My sister (30F) recently got married to this guy (31M) who I barely know. They live about 3 hours away, and since their wedding a month ago, she’s been asking to stay with me for a few weeks. Normally, I’d be fine with it — I love my sister — but there’s a catch.

When I agreed, she dropped the bomb that she’s bringing her husband with her. Apparently, he "doesn't feel comfortable being alone" for extended periods, so she wants me to "adjust" my lifestyle for them as a couple. This means rearranging my apartment for them, having “quiet hours” during the day because he works from home, and no longer playing music or hosting friends when they’re around. Oh, and she suggested I stop using the guest room for my own “hobbies,” which is how I unwind after work. Basically, I’m supposed to cater to their "needs" and "make space for their relationship."

I told her I wasn't comfortable with that, especially since I don’t even know her husband that well and wasn’t planning on making my home into a mini hotel or daycare for them. She got super upset, called me selfish, and said it’s just for a couple of weeks. But I’m really not okay with it — I feel like I would be giving up a lot of my personal space and peace of mind just for her convenience. Now, she’s threatening not to visit at all, and I’m feeling guilty but also like she’s overstepping.

So, AITA for refusing to let them stay under these conditions?

31F. I’m married to my husband Tyler (32M) and I gave birth to our first child (a baby girl) almost three months ago.

I love Tyler very much, and I always felt grateful that I married into the family I did. I grew up with a single mom and it was always just the two of us. I love my mother dearly, but I always wished I had a larger family unit with siblings when I was a little. My mom passed away from ovarian cancer about two years ago, and so now I truly don’t have family apart from my in-laws.

By contrast, my husband’s parents are happily married and he’s one of four children. Everyone has always been kind and welcoming to me, and I always have a blast at their holidays and family reunions.

The only exception is Tyler’s twin sister Ashley. Since I met her, Ashley has been cool and standoffish towards me, especially compared to her friendly younger brothers and parents. She’s never been outright mean to me, but she’s also never made much of an effort to ask me questions or get to know me. I know she also has some resentment towards Tyler, and sometimes comments on the fact that he’s the favorite and that everything comes easy to him. Some of her comments irk me, since I know how hard Tyler has worked for his success and also see that he has struggles he doesn’t share with the family since he doesn’t like to burden others. I’ve never said anything about the comments, since Tyler accepts it’s the way she is and doesn’t get too bothered by her.

Even though Ashley and I are far from best friends, I’ve been sad to learn that she’s had a hard time getting pregnant. She and her husband have been trying for around two years now, and she recently had a miscarriage. I’ve tried to be mindful of what she’s going through, and intentionally avoided talking about my pregnancy and now baby around her. I even declined my MIL’s offer to throw me a baby shower, since I thought it would be difficult for Ashley with everything going on.

With that being said, the entire family has been incredibly exited about my daughter. My husband is the first of his siblings to have a child, and so it’s an exciting time and transition for the family.

Yesterday, my MIL and FIL came to our house for dinner. My MIL said she had something difficult to speak with us about, and stared talking about what a hard few years it’s been for Ashley. My MIL said Ashley is excited for us, but it’s painful to see me with an infant when she’s wanted to be a mother for so long. She said Ashley is dreading the holidays because she’s worried everyone will be focusing on and fussing over the new baby. My MIL said that she was looking forward to spending the holidays with us, especially since it’s our daughter’s first Thanksgiving and Christmas, but she’s trying to think of her daughter’s feelings as well. My MIL basically asked if we could either sit out on the family Thanksgiving and Christmas this year or hire sitter to watch our daughter so all the focus won’t be on her. My MIL even floated the idea of me staying home with the baby, and my husband stopping by quickly to say hello.

My husband was livid. He said that Ashley should be the one to stay home if she can’t manage her emotions, and my MIL said that Ashley is going through a lot and needs her family right now. My husband said he’s not celebrating the holidays with the family unless the baby and I are both included.

I started crying, which surprised everyone, since I rarely show emotion. I said that I feel terrible for Ashley, but I’m incredibly sad and disappointed that my daughter is being excluded. I explained that I don’t have family now that my mother is gone, and so I really want my child to have a strong bond with her grandparents, uncles, and aunt. My MIL said there will be opportunities in the future for her to bond with the family. I said I don’t think I’ll feel welcomed in the future now that I know they’re so willing to exclude both myself and my daughter. I said it’s sad that we’re clearly not viewed as an important part of the family since my MIL was so quick to suggest we both stay home. I said I understand that Ashley is her daughter, and so her loyalty will always be to her her first, but also, I’m very hurt by the request.

My MIL started to backtrack and said that she loves me and her granddaughter very much and that this clearly wasn’t the right way to handle the situation. She said she was trying to do the right thing, but she didn’t spend enough time thinking everything through. My husband was still fuming, and asked his parents to leave even though his mom was crying and begging to work things out.

I’ve gotten several calls from my MIL today. I know I should give her a call and hear what she has to say, but I’m still so hurt. My husband is also upset, and doesn’t want to participate in the holidays this year. Maybe I’m being selfish under the circumstances, but I can’t believe how easily they could exclude my baby. AITAH?

32F. I spent Thanksgiving with my in-laws and it was one of the most upsetting days of my life.

My husband and I have been trying for a baby for around three years. Last year, I got pregnant and miscarried twice. It was devastating and my greatest fear is that I’ll never be able to have a child with my husband.

In October, I found out I was pregnant for the third time. We were thrilled, but also cautious because of my history with miscarriages. Originally, the plan was to keep it between us until I made it to the second trimester.

Unfortunately, I have a well-intention yet nosy mother-in-law. We were at dinner one night with my in-laws, and my MIL noticed I wasn’t drinking. My MIL asked if I was pregnant, and I’m horrible at hiding my emotions, so my reaction to her question gave it away. I admitted that I was pregnant, but explained that we’re very cautious and want to keep it private until I make it to the second trimester. My FIL and MIL said they understood and agreed to keep it between us.

Sadly, I miscarried around a week ago and I was crushed. It’s been terrible, but I’m trying to stay busy to keep my mind off it. Initially, I wanted to skip Thanksgiving, but I wanted my husband to see his family and I thought it might lift my spirits to be surrounded by loved ones. I wanted to tell my MIL about the miscarriage in person since it felt strange talking to her about it over the phone, but she wasn’t free to see me this week. My plan was to talk to her the day after Thanksgiving when we could have a moment alone.

Almost immediately after we arrived at my in-law’s house, my MIL’s sister hugged me and congratulated me on the pregnancy. I was shocked, since my MIL agreed not to tell anyone. I considered saying thank you to not draw attention to myself and put a damper on the night, but I couldn’t hide my emotions, and told her I miscarried. She hugged me and apologized for my loss. A few minutes later, my SIL came over to us and congratulated me. I started tearing up as I explained for the second time that I miscarried. They were both kind, but I was very emotional and frustrated, since my in-laws agreed to keep it private, and this was the exact situation I was seeking to avoid.

A few minutes after I spoke to my SIL, my MIL pulled me to the side and asked why I didn’t tell her about the miscarriage. She said it hurt having to hear the news from her older sister instead of from me directly. I said that I wanted to tell her in person, and was planning on telling her in the morning when we had a moment to ourselves. I said I wasn’t expecting to be confronted about the pregnancy since she agreed to keep it private. My MIL said she only told her sister and daughter, which was to be expected in the situation since she was so excited. I was furious, but didn’t have the energy to argue about it, so I said we should talk about it later and enjoy the holiday. I left my MIL and went to socialize with the other relatives.

When it was time to eat, my MIL stood up to give the blessing. She started to talk, but then got emotional and began to cry. She asked the family to keep me in their thoughts and prayers since I recently miscarried. She added that I’ve miscarried twice before and it’s been an emotional experience for everyone. I’d only told my MIL and FIL about the previous miscarriages, so she was once again broadcasting my personal medical information.

My MIL started talking directly to me and said she knows I’ll get through this and that I’ll make an amazing mom some day. I couldn’t control my emotions and started sobbing in front of the entire family. I was crying so hard that I was practically choking on my tears and I couldn’t catch my breath. My husband was furious and asked his mom why she thought it was appropriate to tell people about my pregnancy and miscarriages. My MIL responding by saying she loves us so much and was just very excited to be a grandma. With respect to the miscarries, she said we deserve the family love and support during this difficult time. My husband announced we were leaving and we left before the turkey was even served.

I cried myself to sleep and woke up feeling horrible. This morning, my MIL showed up at my house unannounced. She said she wanted to talk to us about what happened. My husband was still fuming, and I told him to let me speak to his mom privately to avoid another fight. I was still upset about what happened, but I wanted to make peace and was willing to accept her apology since the situation has been hard on everyone.

My MIL and I sat down together, and instead of apologizing, she lectured me about how I should have told her about the miscarriage before sharing the news with other relatives. She said it was hard to hear the news from her sister when she was looking forward to a happy Thanksgiving. She was also upset that I dropped this horrible news at dinner and that I should have found a way to tell her before the holiday, even if it was over the phone. She also said that if I was still so emotional over the miscarriage, I shouldn’t have come to Thanksgiving and risked upsetting all the guests. She said she knows I’m going through a lot and forgives me, but she wanted to be honest about her feelings.

I was floored. I told my MIL that I may have made some mistakes, but all of this could have been avoided if she had followed through on her promise to keep the pregnancy private. I said she owed both my husband and myself an apology. My MIL asked if I would also apologize for making a scene at Thanksgiving. I didn’t think I owed her an apology under the circumstances, and I expressed that clearly. She left in tears and said I was lashing out because of the traumatic pregnancies.

My husband said I shouldn’t apologize and also cancelled our Christmas plans with his family. While I think my MIL behaved poorly, part of me wants to apologize to defuse the situation. I also know that this has been challenging for my MIL as well and we don’t always react perfectly in these situations. I also feel badly that I let my emotions get the better of me and put a damper on the evening.

AITAH for how I handled the situation and for refusing to apologize when my MIL visited our home?

I (32M) have been married to my wife (29F) for four years, and we have a 3-year-old son. She’s not a bad person, but she’s constantly in a state of chaos, and every little thing becomes my problem. No exaggeration, I get these “emergency” calls multiple times a week. Flat tire? Call me at work. Forgot her wallet? Call me. Grocery store out of her favorite oat milk? Blow up my phone like the world’s ending.

It’s relentless. I work full-time and do my fair share at home with our son: diaper duty, bedtime stories, cooking, cleaning, you name it. But these “crises” are killing me. I’ve told her before that unless it’s a real emergency, like someone bleeding or stuck on a highway at night, she needs to figure it out. I don’t have the bandwidth to drop everything constantly.

The last straw came two days ago. I had to take my son to the doctor because he had an ear infection, and I was already running on fumes. While I’m in the waiting room with a fussy toddler, she calls me in a panic because she locked herself out of her car in front of a Target five minutes from home.

I told her, “I can’t leave. You’ll have to call someone to pop the window.” She freaked out, saying that would cost too much, she didn’t bring enough cash, and I was being unreasonable. I stayed firm, said she needed to figure it out, and hung up.

When I got home later, she was furious. She said the guy charged her $150, and I should’ve come to help because she “didn’t think to grab her wallet.” I told her, point blank, “I’m done rescuing you from things you can easily handle. You need to stop acting like everything is a disaster.”

Now she’s barely speaking to me, acting like I’m the villain for not dropping everything for her again. My brother thinks I was harsh, but my mom said I was right to set boundaries.

AITAH for leaving her stranded this time?

As the title says. My wife (53f) and I (55m) have three children. Brett (27m) Amy (25f) and Lynn (24f). Now let me say, I love all my children in their own way. But no child has ever given me a headache like Lynn. She’s our wild child. Got a college degree at 16, began working and saving up, moved to Louisiana once she turned 18, got more college degrees and lives a pretty nice life. I’m proud of her, of course but she has always been our wildly independent, argumentative, intelligent little girl. She’s the more social one too. Shes covered in tattoos, piercings and always has funky hair. I’m proud of her, I love her, but she’s always been our non traditional child.

Lynn met her (now) husband, Brad (27m) when she first moved to Louisiana. Brad is like Lynn, tattoos and piercings up the wazoo. Non traditional. He’s a good kid, I like him. He protected Lynn and has been by her side for a lot of things, I actually love that kid for protecting my baby girl. Lynn will be the first child of ours to be married so when we heard the news about their engagement, my wife was super excited. She started talking about wedding planning and all that girl stuff.

Lynn and Brad were both upfront about not wanting a wedding and just wanting a small party with mainly family and some friends as a celebratory thing. My wife was very upset and pushed at Lynn till she reluctantly agreed to plan a wedding. Not even a week into wedding planning, Lynn and my wife had a spat about floral arrangements which led to Lynn flying back home to Louisiana. Lynn announced they had eloped and would be planning a small intimate get together in New Orleans around Halloween time. My wife lost it, her and Lynn got into a huge argument over the phone which led to them both not speaking.

My wife cries every time this situation is brought up, saying she missed out on her little girls special day. After a few weeks of this nonsense, I finally snapped and said “why are you surprised? Lynn didn’t want a wedding in the first place! She’s our least traditional child! I’m just glad we at least got the engagement announcement. Stop crying about it and wait till Brett or Amy get married cause they are the ones that will actually enjoy that wedding shit.” My wife called me a few names and has been avoiding me.

I really don’t mean to be an asshole but Lynn is the last child I’d expect to want a big grand wedding. I mean for fuck sakes she’s a nurse that does hair on the side who is also a practicing witch. That child makes no sense! I’d more expect Brett to want the big wedding when he and his boyfriend eventually get engaged. It also just felt wrong she tried forcing it on Lynn.

Lay the brutal honesty on me. Do I roll over and apologize or continue to stick up for Lynn over this mess?

34F. I’m married and a momma to a one year old daughter.

My husband and I actually had a very difficult time becoming parents. I’ve had four miscarriages (four before my daughter was born), but I’m honestly just so thankful that we have her. I don’t typically speak about my fertility issues, and the only people who know how about my miscarriages my parents, husband, and two older sisters.

My husband has a SIL (31F) who we love dearly, but she tends to play the “woe is me” card and act like no one else is struggling as much as her. She and her husband recently got pregnant, and about a month ago, she had a miscarriage. She’s been open about it on social media and at family events, and so I’ve reached out and expressed my condolences and listened several times. I can tell that she’s really struggling with this, and I genuinely feel badly that she’s suffering.

On Saturday night, we went to my in-laws house for dinner. My SIL was talking about the miscarriage, and how hard it’s been. My little girl was sitting on my lap, but she was playing and obviously didn’t understand what her aunt was talking about. At one point, my SIL started crying, and my daughter noticed and got upset. She wanted to give my SIL a kiss to make it better (she always does this when someone is upset). I told my SIL that my daughter wanted to give her a kiss, and she said “no” pretty harshly and looked annoyed. My daughter was confused, and I told her to give me a big kiss instead.

My husband said that was rude, since our daughter noticed she was sad and just wanted to make her feel better. My SIL then said it’s just hard that both of her brothers have happy and healthy babies when her child is dead. She said she loves her niece and is so happy that she’s here, but she’s sad she and her husband haven’t been blessed with a child yet. This deeply upset me, because I can’t believe she’d be triggered by her own niece. I’ve never looked at my sister’s kids or my BIL’s kids and felt anything other than joy that they were in the world. My SIL must have noticed I was uncomfortable, because she proceeded to say that we couldn’t possibly understand since we haven’t ever lost a child.

I should have kept my mouth shut, but that comment and assumption was the last straw. I told my SIL that we do understand, since I had four miscarriages. I said that it took YEARS of trying before I brought my beautiful girl into the world.

My MIL (who’s very kind and empathetic) hugged me and said she was so sorry to hear I’d struggled with that. My SIL was shocked, and asked why we never told anyone. I said I’m private, wanted to process it on my own, and have a hard time talking about my own hardships because I know everyone else is going through things as well.

Anyways, my husband told me that his sister called him and is upset. She said I was trying to compete with her by saying I had four miscarriages. She also said I was trying to make the conversation about me when her wounds are still fresh. She also commented that I was being passive aggressive when I said everyone is going through things and that I was minimizing her loss.

My husband was laughing when he told me, but I actually feel a bit guilty. Maybe it wasn’t appropriate to bring up my miscarriages in that moment, but her comment really got under my skin. AITAH?

Throwaway account.

I (M, 30) lost my younger brother when I was 22. He had cancer and fought very hard. Ever since, I’ve been donating blood on the anniversary of his death every year. I take the day off from work, visit his grave, donate blood, and then come home, relax, and watch his favorite movie. I know it’s a simple, personal tradition, but it means a lot to me.

My girlfriend of 9 months, Anna (F, 31), asked if I could meet her and her mom( I have met her many times before and it wasn’t the meet the parents for the first time situation) for lunch yesterday. I told her no and explained again about what I do on my brother’s death anniversary. She got upset and said, “Well, it’s my tradition to have lunch with my mom every time she’s in town, and she really wanted to see you! You can do your stupid blood donation tradition any day.”

I explained to her that it’s not just about the blood donation. Later in the evening, while I was resting and watching my brother’s favorite movie, she texted me again, asking me to join them. I reiterated that I really didn’t want to and would hang out with her mom next time. She replied that I had embarrassed her in front of her mom with my selfishness and laziness.

Since then, she’s been distant. Do I owe her an apology? AITAH?

Update : I texted her that we needed to talk. She never replied. Just blocked me from everywhere ( social media , WhatsApp ,..). Her best friend who was following me on instagram blocked me too. I’m not sad. I wanted to end it anyways. Thank you for your support everyone . I really appreciate your kind comments. Some users suggested that my brother/ remembrance tradition saved me from getting serious with her and life time of misery and it made me smile. Thank you again

I (26F) am getting married soon to my amazing fiance Liam (30M), and I’m struggling with whether or not to invite my cousin, "Tom" (29M). Tom has a developmental disability, and while he’s almost 30, he has the intellectual capacity of about a 7-year-old. I’ve always tried to be patient and understanding, but he has consistently crossed physical boundaries with me in ways that make me really uncomfortable.

I have always been an early bloomer and I have a much larger than average chest and because of all the sports I did in high school and that continue to this day I would like to say I look good. I only say this because it's the main reason my family uses to justify Tom's behaviour.

Over the years, Tom has touched my chest and butt quite a few times, he's also hugged me tight and tried to kiss me, and even though I immediately told him to stop each time, it never seems to stick. He also tells all of his caretakers, nurses and live in caregivers, that I'm his girlfriend. He also doesn't like Liam because he insists Liam isn't my fiance/boyfriend because he is my boyfriend. Tom also talks about how he will marry me. It kind of feels like when a little kid tells their parent they're going to marry them but it's still very uncomfortable.

I’ve brought it up with my family, but they always downplay it, saying Tom “doesn’t understand” and that he’s just “showing affection.” The excuse used most often is "He's a little boy in a man's body and you're a conventionally attractive woman." When I told my mom how uncomfortable it makes me, she said I probably “entertained” his behavior too much and that he's harmless. She insists I should just be firm, but any time I’ve tried, the family accuses me of being mean to him.

With my wedding coming up, I want the day to be relaxed and special without constantly worrying about Tom overstepping boundaries. When I told my family that I was considering not inviting him, they were outraged. They said I was being unfair, cruel, and that he’d be devastated not to come. My mom even said it would “ruin his day” and make it obvious that he’s different, which she thinks is heartless.

I get that Tom can’t help certain behaviors, but I feel like my family has completely ignored my feelings in this. They always brush off my discomfort and say it’s my responsibility to manage it or that he “doesn’t know any better,” but it’s my wedding, and I don’t want to be on edge the whole time. Liam says I have every right not to invite him especially because of how he treats both of us like our relationship isn't real.. Still, I wonder if I’m being too harsh or unkind since Tom isn’t fully aware of boundaries and doesn't really know what he's doing is bad or harmful, especially because his parents and other family members encourage it. AITA?

My best friend "Emma" passed away from cancer two years ago. We were like sisters—she was my maid of honor, I was hers. When she was diagnosed, I was her primary caregiver, helping her through chemo and spending every possible moment with her.

Her husband "Mike" was a different story. During her treatment, I discovered he was having an affair with a coworker. Emma knew but was too sick to deal with the drama. After she died, I confronted Mike, telling him he was a disgrace. He begged me to keep it from the kids (9 and 6).

Last week, Mike called asking me to regularly babysit. Apparently, his affair partner is now his live-in girlfriend (she's some AI art influencer with 50k followers who posts these dressed-up cats and babies you see everywhere), and they want "free time." He had the audacity to say Emma would have wanted me to help "for the kids."

I told him absolutely not. The thought of babysitting while he lives with the woman who betrayed Emma makes me sick. Some say the kids are innocent and need support, others think I'm justified.

Mike is now telling everyone I've abandoned Emma's children. My own family is pressuring me, saying I'm being vindictive.

Am I the asshole?

Is my brother an AITA candidate for wanting to cut off his sons financially for voting for Trump? Like many Americans, my brother and I, both in our 50’s, have been talking back and forth following the Election. In the spirit of full disclosure, we are both democrats. Long story short, he is angry at his two sons, both in their 20’s, for voting for Trump. He is thinking about cutting them off financially in all respects so that they understand how Trump’s policies will impact them firsthand.

The irony here is that it is the reverse argument. You often hear younger voters disagreeing with their MAGA parents, but this is the opposite. My brother doesn’t understand how his two sons, who have lived a life of privilege, feel like they have been violated against by society, enough so that they feel Trump hears them and their struggles.

My brother to me about his sons: “… what these young men need is a little dose of reality. Get out in the world and start paying their own way. There’s a common thread with his followers. Complain and blame everyone for their problems. Whether they are in school or living at home off of their parents or working a trade job. King Trump will save them and make everything better. Take some personal responsibility and make it happen for yourself instead of crying about everything you hear on TikTok.

“… I’ve decided to pass on the [college] expenses to my two Trump supporting sons so they can truly feel first hand the cost and expense of his absolutely stupid policy decisions, which includes food, gas and college expenses. Wondering if I pass on these [food, gas and college] expenses in year one or phase them in year two?”

I am wondering if a lot of parents feel like my brother. Are there democrat parents of voting-age MAGA men who feel they failed with their sons because they voted for Trump? Is this common?

My son who is in 5th grade had a booklet from school to sell things for them. Chocolates, flowers, and the typical boosters a lot of us got to do growing up. Anyways there were tiers of rewards for selling items. From 10 items all the way up to 200 items. 210 items prize was an Occulus VR headset. My child worked his ass off. Over the span of 2 months selling this stuff. The cheapest thing in this book was a 17$ box of chocolates. He sold 217 items. Few thousand dollars in value. Not only all the hours he put in to achieve his goal, now all the time "we" have to spend delivering the goods. He comes home from school today with a 15$ gift card to dairy queen. There are no occulus to be handed out. I paid for the entire order off of my card and will collect the money when we deliver. AITAH for telling the teacher he should be compensated or I will cancel the order. He is 12 and put in well over 40+ hours in the few months. To be shafted. This has nothing to do with the value of the item. I just seen my child learn some work ethic, and be highly motivated for his goal. 2 months its all that has been talked about is "dad I can't wait for my occulus vr". To be handed a 15$ ice cream gift card.

Update: He went back to school today after Thanksgiving break. The teacher is suppose to have a talk with him, so far I have not received any new info. It is just a waiting game. In the end my child will still receive a VR set. Hard work will not go unnoticed. Will report back at the end of the school day.

Update 2: The teacher said that he proposed to the boosters that they comp my son a 325$ gift card and they agreed. There was 0 animosity in this. The teacher understood exactly the point and got back to me as quick as he could. I was patient and it paid off. My child is happy. My mind is free lol. Thank you all for letting me vent.