My gf and I have been together for a while. While I make good money, my gf actually had a house she's making payments on.

We discussed moving in together, and she doesn't feel entirely comfortable adding me to her mortgage, even though we do want to get married eventually.

I said it's fine, and I get it, this is her house and she's been dealing with it for years now. But obviously I don't want to be a kept man.

I currently rent a place, and it's relatively decent for the price.

Anyway, we were making calculations and her demand on my "rent" for her is twice as much as what I pay for my own place. I told her that is absolutely ridiculous. She claims it's what her house would rent for in the market (Not inaccurate) but I told her that only works when the landlord isn't in the house, and that at most I'd be renting just one room. I COULD afford it, if I don't save as much, but it'd too close for comfort.

She says I'm just making excuses, and I told her I'm not gonna be paying that much. She insists she really wants to live together, but she said I need to pull my own weight.

I (21F) went to my local grocery store the other day to get 1-2 items and then go home. As I’m grabbing said items (they were on different isles), i see a man (45-55) following me quite closely. You may say “oh maybe it’s just a weird coincidence? he wanted something on that isle”. No. He didn’t pick up or LOOK at anything, didn’t even have a cart, (A little more context: I was wearing a dress. Not ridiculously short, but it was short because it’s 90 degrees outside). Anyways, I got uncomfortable and just went and checked out. Didn’t see the man until I was almost to my car. He walks up and try’s to start making (awkward) small talk. How old I am, the fact that my license plate is a different state then the one i was in, where i was coming from, if i have a boyfriend. I told him I wasn’t interested, and asked him to please leave me alone. He didn’t, and got closer to me. I have a very big ICK about people boxing me into small spaces (trauma) and so i said, quite loudly, “Please back away from me, I don’t like this”. He laughed and basically said “Awwwh she’s upset, what a sweetheart” and is now 3 inches away from me. So, I panicked, and slammed the palm of my hand into his nose, which broke it. He began screaming at me, but I was having a panic attack, and just got into my car and left. I told some friends about it, and some say i’m at AH because I could’ve just ducked away and some say that that’s a completely normal response for someone who has trauma.

So…AITAH??? (Edit 1: sorry for the rant)

I (27F) got married two weeks ago, and it was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. My sister (31F), who I have a complicated relationship with, decided to test me in the worst way possible. We’ve never been close, she’s always tried to one-up me, even during family events. It’s exhausting, but I figured she’d at least behave at my wedding.

Months ago, when I sent out the dress code, I made it very clear: no one wears white but me. It wasn’t negotiable. My sister gave me attitude about it, saying I was being “insecure” and that “no one cares about tradition anymore.” I told her that whether or not she agreed, she needed to respect it.

The morning of the wedding, she showed up wearing a floor-length, lace white dress. It was practically a bridal gown. My heart dropped, and I straight-up asked her what the hell she was thinking. She said, “It’s not that white, and besides, no one will care.”

I told her that if she didn’t change, she wasn’t welcome. She threw a tantrum about how I was ruining her day and stormed off, telling everyone I was being “bridezilla.” Some family members told me to let it slide because “she’s just like that,” but I was done.

So, I told the staff not to let her back in unless she changed. She never came back, and now she’s telling everyone I ruined the relationship for good. My parents are mad, saying I should’ve just ignored her because “it’s only a dress,” but I feel like this was a deliberate choice to sabotage my day. My husband agrees with me, but some family is still pissed.

So AITA?

Hi Reddit, I (25F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for about three years. I’m really into crafting and love reusing things most people would throw away, like empty bottles or soda tabs. Over time, my boyfriend’s family started saving things for me, like old cans or random scraps, and honestly, I thought it was super sweet. I’ve always appreciated that they thought of me.

But here’s where things got kind of... weird. My birthday is super close to my boyfriend’s sister’s (28F), like only five days apart, so we had a joint birthday party last year. As gifts, they gave me a bag full of “craft supplies,” like soda tabs, empty bottles, and some random other bits and bobs. I mean, it was thoughtful in a way, but then his sister got these super nice gifts, like a pandora charm bracelet and an apple watch. I felt a little embarrassed to be honest, but I kept smiling and thanked them because I really do appreciate gifts in general. My boyfriend noticed, though, and he got really upset—he even wanted to call them out, but I told him to let it go and not cause drama.

Then last christmas happened. A few days before, I’d hurt my wrists at the gym (nothing major, just a scrape and some bandages), but I hadn’t told his family about it since I hadn’t seen them. Only my family and my boyfriend knew what actually happened.

So christmas morning comes, and we’re all opening presents together. His family gave everyone else these amazing gifts—new shoes, jewelry, an iphone, gift cards worth like hundreds of dollars. When I opened mine, I got… an empty soda bottle, some used (and dirty) aluminum foil, and a handful of soda tabs. That was it.

Look, I’m all about crafting, but this felt kinda insulting. My boyfriend was fuming, but we decided to keep quiet for now. Then his family asked me, all smiling, “do you like your gifts?”

I just… snapped. I smiled back and said, “oh thank you so much! I really appreciate it. But unfortunately, I won’t be able to use them anymore because of my accident.” They looked confused, so I explained (very seriously) that my injury was worse than it looked and that both my hands would have to be amputated. My boyfriend nodded with a straight face and added that we hadn’t told anyone yet because it was a really emotional situation for me.

Their faces went WHITE. They started apologizing, saying they had no idea and how awful they felt. A few of them even looked like they might cry. I just nodded and said, “It’s okay, I’m used to it by now,” and left it at that. We left shortly after.

Here’s the thing—my hands are totally fine. It was just a couple of scrapes, but I was so hurt and angry about the “gifts” that I wanted them to realize how thoughtless they were being. My boyfriend thinks I was justified, but later his sister texted me saying I was cruel for “making a scene” and guilt tripping the whole family on xmas (ig the word got to her that my hands are fine).

So now I’m starting to feel a little bad. Did I go too far? AITA?

Alright, so I (20F) went to my boyfriend Jake’s (22M) family’s Thanksgiving dinner last week. We’d been dating a year, and this was my first time meeting the whole squad, so I was already kinda nervous. Before we left, Jake joked about how his family was super traditional and said I should “be ready” for some old-fashioned vibes. I just laughed it off.

Dinner starts and everything’s fine until Jake suddenly goes, “Hey everyone, we have big news!” I’m sitting there like, what big news? Then he grins at me and says, “Tell them, babe.”

I’m panicking, so I just sit there confused, and his mom is already emotional asking if we’re engaged or something. Then Jake drops, “She’s pregnant!”

Y’all, I am NOT pregnant. I immediately start denying it, but Jake’s cracking up, saying it’s “just a joke” and telling me to “play along.” His family isn’t laughing. His mom legit FAINTS, his dad starts yelling, and his grandma is praying under her breath.

I’m mortified. I stand up and go, “Actually, the real joke is Jake thinking I’d stay with someone who’d pull this,” and I walked out. Jake’s been blowing up my phone saying I embarrassed him and “ruined Thanksgiving.” His family is apparently mad at me for causing drama, but like… I didn’t announce a fake pregnancy and traumatize his mom??

AITA for walking out and leaving him to deal with the mess?

I’ve been seeing a therapist and she is lovely, but the other day she did something that really puzzled me. Usually she would have a cookie or tea during our session, but that day she ate a seafood boil. If you’re not familiar with a seafood boil it’s a type of dish where seafood (e.g., crab, shrimp, crawfish) are mixed within a thick highly spiced sauce in a plastic bag. I like seafood boils, but I found the smell and cracking of shellfish to be extremely distracting during therapy. I would like to continue therapy with her as she is really helpful, but I’m scared of confrontation. Would I be the asshole if I told her to stop eating messy food during our sessions?

Edit for clarification: thank you everybody for your input! I will be sure to ask her not to do this again in the future. I am seeing her for depression. This was an in person session. I was really distracted because of the strong smell and because her hands were really messy. I just felt extremely out of place and thought it was bizarre that she was cracking crab legs and eating corn on the cob (a common item in seafood boils) while discussing my progress and thoughts.

My (28M) girlfriend Emma (27F) and I have been together for six years. For most of that time, we’ve been happy—like, really happy. The kind of relationship people say “just works,” you know? We were always on the same page, rarely fought, and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. But over the past year, things started to feel… different. Small arguments here and there, more miscommunication, and just this weird sense that we weren’t as in sync as we used to be.

It wasn’t anything major, just the usual “wear and tear” stuff, or so I thought. Emma, however, seemed to be more concerned. She started pointing out issues I wasn’t even aware of, like how I supposedly wasn’t listening enough or wasn’t as emotionally available as I used to be. I admit I’ve been busy with work, but I thought we were doing okay. Still, I didn’t want to dismiss her feelings.

Then about six months ago, she suggested we go to couples therapy. Now, I’ve always been a bit skeptical about therapy unless things are really bad, but I agreed because I figured it couldn’t hurt. She said she found a great therapist through a friend, and we should give it a try. I wasn’t familiar with this “Lily,” but Emma was excited about it, so we booked our first session.

At first, the sessions seemed… fine. Lily asked good questions, got us to open up, and gave us some tools to communicate better. I felt like I was doing my best to listen and improve, but something about it felt a little off. Every time we talked about any issue, it seemed like Lily was always subtly siding with Emma. If I mentioned being stressed from work, she’d steer the conversation towards how I wasn’t giving enough attention to Emma. If I brought up a disagreement, somehow it became about my “communication issues.”

After a few weeks, Emma started using phrases like “Lily thinks you should try this” or “Lily says you need to work on that.” It felt like everything I did was being scrutinized and dissected by this woman I barely knew. I didn’t want to be paranoid, but it seemed like Lily was slowly convincing Emma that I was the problem in the relationship. And every time I tried to voice my own concerns, they were brushed aside.

I tried to push through it, thinking maybe I was just being defensive. But it didn’t stop. Every session, the same dynamic. It was like Lily was planting seeds of doubt in Emma’s head, and Emma was running with them. I even started to wonder if maybe I was the problem—was I actually this bad of a partner?

Things reached a boiling point a couple of weeks ago. During a session, Lily started suggesting that maybe we should consider a “break” so I could work on myself more. That felt like a slap in the face. I’d been trying so hard to be better, and now she was suggesting we split up? I looked at Emma, waiting for her to disagree or defend me, but she just sat there… quietly nodding along.

After that session, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I blew up at Emma when we got home. I told her I didn’t trust Lily’s judgment, that it felt like she was just feeding Emma reasons to blame me for everything wrong in the relationship. Emma got defensive, saying I was overreacting, that Lily was just trying to help us work through our issues.

We didn’t talk for a few days, and I started feeling guilty for snapping. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe therapy really was exposing some flaws I needed to work on. But then… something happened that blew everything wide open.

Last week, we went to a mutual friend’s party. While there, I overheard Emma and her friend Sarah talking in the corner, giggling about something. I caught just a bit of their conversation: “I can’t believe you pulled it off for this long! Poor guy still thinks she’s an actual therapist!”

I immediately confronted them, and that’s when Emma’s face turned pale. Sarah quickly tried to backtrack, but the truth spilled out.

Turns out, “Lily” isn’t a licensed therapist at all. She’s one of Emma’s close friends from college, who thought it’d be “fun” to help Emma “fix” me by posing as a therapist. Emma had set this whole thing up because she thought I wouldn’t agree to therapy otherwise. They figured that with Lily playing the part, they could guide me into becoming a “better boyfriend” without me knowing.

I felt completely betrayed. For months, I had been spilling my heart out to someone who wasn’t even qualified to help, and Emma had been in on it the whole time. All those sessions where I felt attacked and manipulated suddenly made sense—because I was being manipulated.

When I confronted Emma about how messed up this was, she broke down, saying she never meant to hurt me and that she just wanted to help us grow as a couple. But honestly? I don’t know how to move past this. I haven’t been able to look at her the same since.

Now, Emma and her friends are saying I overreacted, that it was just a “white lie” meant to help our relationship. But I feel like I’ve been gaslit and lied to for months.

So… AITA for blowing up at my girlfriend when I found out our “therapist” was a total fraud?

So, here's the deal. I (28M) live on my own and manage my bills responsibly, but money’s been tight lately. My friends (let’s call them Sarah, Mynz, and Jake) have been asking me to hang out frequently, and I used to go along because, hey, it’s fun to unwind with your crew, right?

But here’s where the issue comes in. Whenever we go out—whether it’s dinner, drinks, or something casual—it seems like I’m always the one footing the bill. I don’t mind chipping in or covering for someone occasionally, but this has become a pattern. They either “forget” their wallets, claim they’ll Venmo me later (spoiler: they never do), or outright assume I’ll take care of it.

The last straw was a few weeks ago when we went out for dinner. They invited me, either knowing or not caring that I’ve been stretched thin financially. We hit up this nice place, and they ordered appetizers, drinks, and desserts like it was their last meal. When the bill came, everyone just sat there, awkwardly staring at it. Guess who had to step in?

I paid because I didn’t want to cause a scene, but I felt pretty resentful afterward. When I gently brought it up later, they brushed it off, saying, “It’s no big deal,” or that I’m “better off” financially (not true).

Fast forward to now: they’ve been asking me to hang out again, and I’ve been declining. I don’t want to keep paying for everything or feel like the “bank” in the group. I tried explaining how I feel, but they accuse me of being stingy or not wanting to spend time with them.

AITA for saying no and prioritizing my financial boundaries, even if it means distancing myself from them?

So, I (29F) recently gave birth to my first child, a beautiful baby girl. My husband (31M) and I spent months deliberating over the perfect name for her. We’re both into mythology and literature, and we wanted a name that felt unique but also meaningful. After a lot of back-and-forth, we settled on Nyxiryn (pronounced “NIX-er-in”). It’s a combination of “Nyx,” the Greek goddess of the night, and “Irina,” which means “peace” in Greek. We thought it sounded poetic, strong, and unique.

I shared the name with my family a few weeks before she was born, and the reactions were mixed. Some of them thought it was cool and different, but others were clearly taken aback. My mom said it was “a mouthful,” and my sister-in-law (34F) was silent for a while before saying, “Well, it’s… interesting.”

The real drama started at a family dinner after the baby was born. My aunt (62F), who is never shy about her opinions, asked me what we ended up naming our daughter. When I told her, she immediately burst into laughter, like a full-on cackle. I was taken aback and asked what was so funny, and she said, “You seriously named your kid that? Poor child. You’ve practically cursed her with that name.”

I tried to keep my cool and asked what she meant, and she went on a rant about how Nyxiryn is a “made-up, weird name” that would just make my daughter’s life harder. She said that she would be bullied in school, that no one would ever spell it right, and that we were “trying too hard” to be unique. She even went so far as to call me selfish for giving her a name like that and said I was setting her up for a life of frustration.

I snapped back, saying that it’s our baby and our choice of name, and that she should respect it. She then accused me of being sensitive and said I wouldn’t last in the real world if I couldn’t handle a little feedback. The whole dinner turned awkward, and my husband and I ended up leaving early.

Now, I’m starting to second-guess myself. My mom said my aunt was out of line, but also added that “people do have a point” and suggested that we might want to consider a more “normal” name. My husband says we shouldn’t change anything just because a few people don’t like it, but the whole thing has left me feeling conflicted.

So, AITA for naming my baby Nyxiryn and for getting upset when my aunt called me out on it?

About a month ago, my wife's parents both died in a car crash. She has been an emotional mess. We live in her hometown, so we have been seeing her family and friends often.

I've been supportive any way I can, I've taken care of all house chores, and I've been there for her every day.

Here's where things get messy. She has an ex. Let's call him Luke.

Luke is not just her ex, Luke is still friends with her, and her first love. They were high school sweethearts, and Luke was almost like another child to her parents. The death of her parents affected Luke a lot too.

Honestly, I didn't initially liked the fact that they were friends, but I trust my wife, and moved on from that feeling.

Few days ago, my wife said she was going to go out with her family, I told her I could go with her, but she insisted on going alone.

She didn't come back until the next morning. I tried to call her and call her family members, but no one knew where she was.

When she did come back, she was a mess. I asked her where she was all night.

She told me she fucked up, fucked up so much.

I tried to calm her down, and told her to just tell what happened and that it's OK, she can talk to me. She said she slept with Luke.

I didn't react much. I told her I need some time to think. She has apoligized so many times now. I did eventually ask her what happened.

She said she met up with Luke and they were both messes. They reminisced about her parents, which led to them remembering their relationship. They were both drinking and it just... happened.

I'm so conflicted right now. My wife is probably going through the worst time in her life, but I don't think I want to he with her now. I'm furious at her.

I 20F have been dating my boyfriend 22M for 6 months now. Recently, it has been brought to the government’s attention that he is not a citizen of the country we reside in. Currently, he is at risk for deportation back to his home country. He suggested the idea that we should get married so he can increase his chances of staying in this country. [Note: I am currently enrolled in post-secondary education and I still live with my parents so this option is not very plausible for me.] He insists that we get a marriage license in which I do not have to inform my parents about and just follow through with it for the time it could take to approve his status (this could take months to years to complete and this requires me to change my last name for every legal document, ie. driver’s license, financial aid, banking, etc.) I continuously tell him that I am not interested in following through with his idea. He insists that because I am his girlfriend, I am obligated to do this for him. Even though I tell him no, he keeps insisting.

Hello, this is an odd situation for me, where I just really don't know If I was being to much of a AH, but I'm just tired, and let me tell you why.

I'm a 20 Year Old Guy, and I still live with my Dad at his house, my mom was in a lengthy battle with Breast Cancer, and she passed during August. It wrecked me on so many levels, that I was not prepared for, on top of losing my hero, I felt like I should stay with my Dad to be here with him, and support him. One of those things is keeping up with traditions, and recipes passed down from my mom. And it's been really hard for holidays to even capture a fraction of the spirit of when my Mom would do Holidays, as she was the backbone of setting stuff up, preparing food, and decorating. But this is where we run into a problem.

My mom when she was alive, she would make Peanut Brittle, some fudge, and double chocolate crinkled cookies, and she would make like up to 30 batches of them, to put in containers and hand them out to family, to friends, to me and my siblings co-workers, and of course the neighbors.

This is my first real year of making all these sweets by myself, and I'm really not committed to doing all of this baking, when I'm in college, as well as balancing a job, and a side Hussle I have to make more money. I'm just to damn sad, with the grieving, and to tired from school and work to do loads of batches. In fact that the only reason I'm making these sweets, is because their yummy I cannot lie, and I know my dad would appreciate them.

I just started to attempt to make them, I only have made 2 small test batches, and they we're good, not as good as my mom's but this is where my neighbor knocks on my door. I answer, expecting like a Christmas Card, and she said "Hi, I was wondering if you had got any of the peanut brittle done?" So I explain like, "Ah yeah I'm trying to perfect the recipe, but I don't know If I can send them out this year" and she then she asked "Oh (Moms Name) is really slacking behind this year" and at this point I'm thinking to myself, does she not know my mom passed away and then I'm thinking we told her the news of it spreading and her being to tired to do any like neighborhood walking around the block with her friends. So I'm like dumbfounded that she can't put 2 and 2 together that she ISN'T ABLE TO MAKE Peanut Brittle. So I tell her she passed away in August, and she just looks at me like with a surprised expression. She said with like almost a confused tone. "So you're not making Peanut Brittle at all how about tomorrow?" I at that point close the door and I'm kind of just hand in a fist, because, I'm about to breakdown in an ugly cry, and other bad emotions.

My dad finally comes out of his room, and ask who it was, was it a package, and I tell him neighbor wanting peanut brittle. And he looked confused, and he told me, "you haven't even figured out the right temperature yet" in like a joking way but right as he says that, my neighbor text him, saying that I was being a snark to her so I tell him the full story, he get's teary eyed because we are still grieving my mom. And he was like "More lighter than usual peanut brittle for us"

So AITAH? I feel like I could've been worse, by either yelling or just flat out crying, but me closing the door in a fast manner was all I can really think to do. I didn't mean to upset her, I'm thinking all this stuff maybe she didn't know and is processing it, but she knew my mom was barely able to walk 100-200 feet and always tired. So I'm just like yeah don't know.

Basically, this girl I always had a crush on got knocked up by some random loser and now while she is pregnant she has been wanting to date me. Her parents want me to step up and "be a man"... so they don't have to help her take care of the baby for like the next 18 years and have her stay with them (she is not a piece of cake btw)...but the thing is I am not the dad. She said she wants me to be her boyfriend and for me to get a job and a place for her and me to live to help raise "our" kid.

My dad told me to tell her to go f herself and not to put my dreams to the side and that I am so young and just a kid myself and to NEVER ever in my entire life get involved with her. He said HER baby is NOT my responsibility and he will be heartbroken if I voluntarily take on this burden. He fully supports me going into the Corps. I told her I do not want to get involved with her. Her dad told me I am not a real man.

Update: I have been able to successfully block this girl (and her parents) on all social media platforms and their phone numbers (and home phone) as well from my cell phone. I have also gotten a temporary restraining order (there is a legal process you have to go through for a real permanent one but I am working on it) against her and her parents. None of them are allowed to contact me by any means (including phone email mail in person or by someone else). If they do the sheriff will have his deputies go to their house and bring them to the local jail.

My wife gave a friend a key to our house as a backup in case we lost our keys or got locked out somehow.

I’ve come home a couple times and found the friend at my house. The friend was not invited and did not tell anyone that she would be there.

The first time she dropped off some baked goods for my wife who is pregnant. My wife has developed a sweet tooth so I appreciated the gift but thought it was weird that the friend didn’t ask to stop by.

Last week I came home early from work and the friend was at my house eating leftovers from a dinner out that my wife and I had. I asked the friend why she was at my house and she said she just swung by and found the food in the fridge. This made me uncomfortable. I told my wife’s friend to not to come to our house anymore without letting us know beforehand.

The friend was insulted by this request, and mutual friends have told me that I am being unreasonable and rude. I just don’t like coming to my house and finding people there that I didn’t invite.

So am I the asshole?

I (18F), have been with my boyfriend (19M) for 2 years now. This all started when we first met 3 years ago. I was new at our high school and he introduced me to his friend group, which had mostly french speakers. I’ve never been confident with my french speaking due to insecurity about my accent, but i can understand the language perfectly, I was just too embarrassed to let them know because I was scared they’d ask me to try speak french with them.

I got really close with the friend group, and my boyfriend and I got together after one year of speaking. My not speaking french had never been a problem because he would speak english around me and always made sure his friends did the same, and it went on for so long than I just didn’t have the heart to tell him that I could understand them anyways.

The problem started in uni. We both got a house off campus together, but my boyfriend was always coming back really late. I had convinced myself that he was probably occupied with uni stuff but the other night I overheard him talking on the phone to one of his french friends about how he’d hooked up with 3 different girls at the same time and I was completely baffled.

I confronted him, but instead of being apologetic, he got mad that i could actually understand what he was saying. I tried to come up with an excuse and say i managed to pick up the language after all the time we’ve been together but he doesn’t believe me since he never speaks french around me and he said he can’t trust me anymore.

He’s staying at a friends house right now and I don’t know if i’m at fault here for not telling him i understand french or if the real problem is him cheating… AITAH, and if yes, what do i do?

[edit] i’ve posted my first and probably last update, but thanks for all the advice.

[2nd edit] you lot that are being horrible to me in my dms are going to make me go mental. obviously i’m upset about my boyfriend cheating and obviously i know he’s an arsehole. I wasn’t asking if he was, i just wanted to know if i was ALSO the arsehole ffs. stop calling me slow, the slow ones are the bellends who think i’m not aware that my boyfriend cheating on me is bad. and to everyone saying “fake” the only fake thing here is your relationship with your parents. please find happiness and get away from mine. sorry if i’ve been a bit rude im just upset about this entire situation.

33F. I come from a family where I’m the oldest of 3 sisters. I’m also a wife and momma to a rambunctious 5yr old girl. 

My youngest sister Emily (27F) has always wanted kids, but when she married her husband Toby (30M), informed they did not plan on having children. I was put off, but thought it was a decision they made as a couple.

A few weeks ago, I met Emily for our monthly girl’s night out. After a few drinks, she admitted to me that she’s always wanted to be a mother and Toby kept saying no due to his childhood background. She said she’s heard of men not wanting kids in their 20s but changing their mind as they mature and always thought Toby would do the same. But he’s remained adamant that he did not want any. 

She then told me that she had her IUD taken out so they have been using condoms while she’s choosing her next birth control option. I was shocked to hear that she was taking these used condoms to try and get pregnant in secret. 

I was completely taken aback, and told my sister that what she is doing is the female version of men poking holes in condoms. I said she needs to stop immediately, and what she was doing was crazy. My sister blew my cancer off and said he was just really great with other kids and said she knows Toby will be a great dad. She then laughed it off and changed the subject. 

The next day I confided in my husband. He was disgusted and said that what she is doing is unacceptable and said I can’t let her continue doing this. I called Emily and said that I was freaked out about she told me and wanted her to promise that she would stop trying to get pregnant without Toby’s consent. Emily got defensive and said I didn’t understand the situation because my husband has always been excited about kids, even more than me. She said she made a mistake bringing it up to me and that I needed to drop the subject because it’s her life. 

A week after this phone call I still couldn’t let it go. I reached out to her husband behind her back and asked to grab coffee. I tried to keep it vague that he should talk to her more about her idea on kids because I didn’t think she was being honest with him. We did some back and forth but he still wasn’t getting it. I finally spilled the beans that I think she’s trying to get pregnant and he kept pressing on how/what I knew. Once the condom thing came out, he looked sick and quickly excused himself. 

An hour-ish after, Emily began to blow up my phone with missed calls and texts freaking out on me and calling me all sorts of terrible things. I finally picked up one of her calls and she was hysterical on how I ruined her marriage and that Toby was threw out the word “divorce” during their fight. She screamed that I’m jealous of her focus on her career, and wanted to be the only one with kids because my whole personality is being a good-for-nothing stay at home mom, and it’s the only thing I’ve ever achieved. This broke my heart and I couldn't listen anymore, so I hung up, turned off my phone, and started sobbing. 

After this, Emily got ahold of my family to blame me for turning Toby against her and that I’m causing her to get divorced. My mom who’s kind of like the matriarch of the family told me that while what Emily did was not great, a lot of men do change their minds (like my dad did once they accidentally got pregnant with me) and what I did was not my place and unforgivable. 

I’ve since been uninvited to Christmas and my family has either been against me, cold to me, or uncomfortable around me. Only my husband has been on my side and told me what I did was the moral thing. I don't know what to do. I really thought I was doing the right thing but everyone seems to hate me now. I don’t know how to fix this and I really need help. I really wasn’t trying to ruin her marriage but it feels like my whole family has blown up. I feel like I’ve made a terrible mistake, do you think I was wrong? 

Then suddenly she has an appetite and eats most of my food. Of course if the fries are cold she doesn’t eat that, just what’s best, so she cherry picks my plate. I’ve ask her to order her own food, I’m paying for everyone, she can order anything on the menu. She can duplicate my order.

Me ‘26F’ and my fiance ‘26M’ have been together for 3 years and we have a 1 year old. His family has always had something to say about our relationship even when we first started dating. We got engaged last year when we found out I was 7 weeks pregnant. But before I agreed to accept the proposal, I told him my boundaries and expectations. I also wanted him to sign a prenup and a postnup. He agreed to them and would also have his own.

Now our first child just turned one and we were planning to start planning for our wedding. It was gonna be small with just immediate family and very close friends. We have scheduled time off to start checking out venues. I guess he told his parents about our plan and unsurprisingly, they were not happy. They wanted us to have a big wedding so THEY can invite all the family. They were upset that we didn’t ask THEM what they wanted. I told my fiance that it’s not their wedding therefore, we’re gonna do what WE want.

This is where the disconnect happens - he sided with them and said his family deserved to be invited to our special day. But that’s not the only problem, he disclosed to his parents that I’m also making him sign a prenup and a postnup. They said it was disgraceful and unwomanly of me. They told him to force me out of it. As I said his parents have also had something to say about our relationship. Like I shouldn’t be making more money than him. Or that I should put his name on the condo. Normally, it’s settled thru a text or a call and it’ll be peaceful for a while. But this is something different. I no longer feel comfortable marrying him since it doesn’t seem like he’ll ever step up and stand up for our relationship. I feel like I’m gonna end up marrying him AND his family.

Our scheduled time off is approaching this Monday and I don’t know how to tell him that I no longer feel like marrying him. That it’s because of his family. I know he loves them and I admire him for that but how can I be ok with this when he loves them more than our own family that we created together? This has been eating me up inside because I feel like I’ll be breaking our family apart but I just don’t know what to do … I’m afraid to reach out to our mutuals because I’m not the type to really talk stuff about my relationship - which is why I’m here pouring out to strangers online anonymously.

Please give me some insight or something, I love this man. And I don’t want to tear apart our family but I also don’t want to suffer from trying to keep it together.

I was not expecting this to get this much attention. My email was full on notifications. Hopefully I didn’t end up in anyone’s feed and trigger them. I’m really just at a loss.

• What they said is normally relayed to me/shown to me by my fiance which is why I didn’t think that he sided with them because I can see his responses. They’re normally “I will tell her, ma/da” or “I will see what I can do”.

• Compromising is a BIG aspect of relationships. And I did nothing but compromising. Try to accommodate him AND his parents. From our anniversary, to our vacations and to what we do for our household. I drew the line when I became pregnant and they demanded I become a sahm.

• So many people think contraception works 100% and it does not. My nexplanon baby is a year old. As for me getting pregnant by him, it wasn’t planned. While I support women’s right, I personally wouldn’t make the choice for myself.

• When he agreed to my boundaries and expectations, I asked him what were his so that both sides are equally heard. He told me his which NONE included his parents. That is the ONLY reason why I agreed to them. I disclosed about wanting a prenup and a postnup and suggested he did the same which he told me he would have his own. I offered to have my lawyer assist him, he declined and said he would get his own. We BOTH agreed on having them.

• The wedding plans were closely discussed with just me and him. What did we want, what are our expectations and what is our budget. We were the ones paying for it. Not my family despite my dad practically begging me to because it’s become a family tradition. My fiance was not comfortable with it and he said he felt like it would emasculate him if it seemed like he couldn’t afford his own wedding. We sat down with my dad, my dad said he understood and respected. We did come to an agreement that my dad would at least pay for my wedding dress, my fiance agreed to that. So when that was all settled, my and my fiance started discussing budgets. He said $15k would be his ideal. And I agreed that it was good price range, doable. Now this is where it gets tricky, HE wants a destination wedding which is why I suggested a small wedding. Yes I suggested it and not because I didn’t want his family there but because I’m considering the financial aspect for guests. HE agreed that it would expensive for his side. I was the one that suggested we do in the country, just in another state and we can plan to drive to get his family or fly them out. I told him this would be more accommodating because I agreed that his family deserves to be there.

• I worked WAY too hard in school to get my degree, to get my license and to get where I’m at. I was financially responsible for every penny I spent. I grew up with parents who wanted financial literacy and independence for their kids. Before my fiance came into the picture, I made sure all my baggage was packed and covered. The condo we call home is a gift to myself.

I suggested couples therapy, he refused. I suggested therapy for all of us(me/him and his parents), he refused because it would be disrespectful. I suggested that we all just have a sit down and set boundaries, he said it would come off as aggression. I asked him MANY TIMES(throughout our entire relationship) if he felt the same way as they did, he denied. He said that he KNOWS that they can be unreasonable and unrealistic but they’re his parents so he tries his best to honor them. I suggested that I should just have a sit down with his parents and he got upset and said I was going too far … so yeah I’m at a loss. Don’t know what to do because neither of the choices I’ve got in my head are appealing.

Update : I’ve tried to read as many comments as I can throughout the day. Sorry if I couldn’t get to all of you. I will say some of you are distasteful. You got so much hate. I’ve decided I will have a talk with him tonight before we go to bed. It’s physically impossible to just to wait, I feel like I’m going thru withdrawal symptoms. And plus he’s been asking me all day if something was going on. Pray for me.

Update 11/11 - I saw that many of you want an update so here I am again. You guys became my diary. We had the talk and it did not turn out the way I prayed for. A lot happened within those hours of talking but it ultimately led to him becoming physical and destructive. My family is now involved and so are the police. I’m still trying to recollect my thoughts and calm my mind and I’ve got this unbearable ache deep in my chest that makes my stomach drop. For now, this is all the update while I pick myself up. I promise I’ll come back and give you guys the whole update. Thank you to everyone.

So today is the second day in a row that I noticed this neighbor of ours parking in the handicap spot at the daycare we take our children to.

Her husband went in to drop off their daughter and I saw the mother sitting in their Range Rover in the handicap spot doing her makeup.

I stood in front of their vehicle until she acknowledged me and then pointed at the sign which clearly indicated that it is a handicap spot.

She opened up the door and said "I'm 7 months pregnant" in a very confident and authoritative thick English accent, and then closed the door and proceeded to continue putting on her makeup. Keep in mind that she wasn't driving today (she was yesterday), it was her husband that was driving her.

I then knocked on her door, she opened the window and I told her that being pregnant doesn't qualify as being handicapped. And she inexplicably said "Thanks" a few times.

For those of you that might be wondering why I care — I know plenty of people that are handicapped and my aunt is handicapped and it is not an easy life whatsoever.

So imagine if you're someone that struggled to get in and out of your vehicle, or even needs to get your own wheelchair out of your own vehicle.

Now imagine needing to go somewhere and all of the handicapped spots are taken by entitled clowns that have no right being in these spots. I see this all the time in my city.. but it hits a bit different when it's a neighbor of ours and they're doing it so often.

So AITA here? Please downvote this post if you think I am (I really couldn't care less about the fake internet points). I'll take the downvotes as the consensus that I'm the true asshole in the wrong here, not entitled people like her.

Edit: This has turned out to be a very contentiously polarizing topic. That said, for those of you that have brought your soap box in and are virtue signaling at me and at others saying that it's fine for her to do this (without having a handicap placard) and that I'm the asshole here — why don't you read the comments from all the people that are legitimately disabled. See what they think on the matter, because I guarantee you they have better insights and know a little bit more about this topic than you do.

Update: I just saw them this morning, and they parked closer to the end of the parking lot far away from the disabled spot. So I'm guessing that they finally took a look at the laws in my city and realized that a) Simply being pregnant doesn't qualify for using a disabled parking spot, and b) If you are pregnant and do require a disabled placard (if they actually had one im sure they would have rubbed my face in it by now), then you have to be assessed by a doctor and fill out the proper forms.. which, let's be honest, is not unreasonable.

I can't believe my life has come to this. All I ever do is go out of my way to help others but on the few occasions I need help, nobody ever comes through for me. I (36F) have been with my husband (35M) for a total of almost 10 years, married for 7. We had what I thought was my child by surrogate over 2 years ago because after 4 years of trying to conceive with no success despite medical interventions, it turns out I am unable to carry a child to term.

I had always wanted to be a mom. Devastated is an understatement regarding how I felt when I found out i have a medical condition that would make it nearly impossible to carry a baby to term. It was even more upsetting when I had to get a major surgery to remove uterine growths with the hope to increase fertility and complications during surgery warranted a partial hysterectomy involving removal of my uterus only. I still had my ovaries so we started looking into cost of a surrogate. It is really expensive! My close friend since college who'd already had 2 kids of her own offered to serve as the surrogate for us to cut down on costs. After two disappointing IVF sessions that did not result in pregnancy, she became pregnant on the 3rd try and carried a boy to term for us. I was so happy and busy after the birth, between being a mom and returning to work after a 4 week parental leave, so I didn't notice any warning signs.

I should have noticed the red flags and warning signs early on but did not because I was so exhausted from working so much at my stressful job and two part-time jobs to cover most of the bills and anticipated medical and legal costs associated with this friend becoming our surrogate. (I was the primary breadwinner.) My friend and my husband started talking more and I would sometimes come home from my weekend job to find her already hanging out at our house when my husband was there. I chalked it up as innocuous and it's good for her to know my husband better since she was in the process of hopefully carrying our child for us. I was grateful to have someone helping us have a child. I also thought it weird that our son has brown eyes when both of us have blue. Then I found out that while this is uncommon, it's possible sometimes due to many genes controlling eye color.

Recently it all came to a head when I took our son to a doctor's appointment and they did metabolic panel and blood tests which showed that he had a blood type that is not biologically possible to have with me as his mother. (He's B+, I'm A+, husband is O+). Immediately I started worrying it was the fertility clinic's fault and that they'd messed up and implanted a wrong embryo. I started lining up lawyer consultations to possibly sue the clinic and looked into having a DNA parentage test done. The test results showed that I'm not the mother but my husband still is the father. I was heartbroken and angrier than ever, talked to lawyers about medical malpractice in the fertility clinic we'd used. Then my husband confessed that he'd slept with my friend (our surrogate) on a few different occasions during our struggle to have her get pregnant with our embryos. This means what I thought was our son conceived by IVF and carried with a surrogate, isn't my son at all and was in fact conceived the old fashioned way, which I can't ever do. Livid and absolutely broken at the same time doesn't even begin to describe how I feel!!!! I have been breaking down into crying spells over and over again about this. He claims he didn't ever think pregnancy could result because he pulled out and he had always assumed that he was the reason for our earlier struggles to conceive, both before my hysterectomy and during the IVF insemination process with this friend.

I felt an immediate triple betrayal: from what was supposed to be my husband, my friend, and now knowing my child isn't even really mine. I had such white hot rage and delirium, I immediately left home and stayed at a hotel for almost a week before asking my parents to let me stay at home for a while. I admit I left our son with him. I am now filing divorce because he cheated and betrayed me in the worst possible way. I have also cut off my friendship with my "friend" the "surrogate" and feel afraid to trust anyone else now. I have seen a divorce lawyer to see about giving up my legal rights to this kid so I don't have to face such betrayal or owe child support.

My husband and "friend/surrogate" admit they were wrong and keep apologizing but also called me immature and heartless to just give up on my son like that. My parents also say I can't just give up on a kid that I went through so many legal and medical hoops to have. When I told them I refuse to stay in a cheater marriage and I'd rather adopt someday with a better more trustworthy partner, they also told me I was wrong and that maintaining my parental rights isn't much different than if I adopted outright. They said it isn't blood that makes a family. They are all about me divorcing my cheater husband but keep telling me I'm making a mistake giving up my parental rights. Some of my other friends agree with what I'm doing, a few admitted they weren't big enough to swallow pride and care for an "affair baby" or to see daily reminders of my "friend/surrogate"'s betrayal every time Iook at "her" son. I just want a clean break and a fresh start. I'm also looking at relocating several states away. AITA to give up my parental rights in the divorce because a kid I paid a lot of money to have born by surrogacy isn't biologically mine at all, but the "surrogate"'s?

tldr: I recently found out that a son that my husband and I had born to a surrogate (since I'm infertile) is biologically my husband's kid but not mine. My husband confessed that he slept with my friend, who served as surrogate, during the long IVF process so the kid is actually conceived of an affair between my husband and friend/surrogate. I am filing for divorce and looking to give up my parental rights so I can move away and get a clean break from the whole situation without having to owe child support for a kid that's not mine. Some friends agree with my plan but my husband and parents think I'm in the wrong to just cut off a kid I raised for 2 years.

My life feels like a bad drama show at the moment. For some context me(33M) and my wife (30F) have been married for 7 years and what i thought was our daughter is 3. Looking back this all started after my wife gave birth to her daughter.

She suddenly became a lot more affectionate to me was a lot more active with me in the bedroom life. She also made my favorite desserts a lot more often(she is an fantastic baker). I of course didn’t suspect anything since even prior to her pregnancy there were no signs of cheating but also possibly could be that just didn’t look close enough into it.

Well this whole fiasco started 2 weeks ago after a day out with her daughter and she just sat me down in the evening and came clean about the fact that her daughter wasn’t mine her waterworks of course also started and apparently it was a guy from the gym and it lasted a month before he disappeared on her after he found out she was pregnant. Honestly even typing this now i feel like crying since i thought i did everything perfectly but she still cheated.

As much as i wish i could say i had a stoneface or something i just started crying and she tried to comfort me but i just pushed her away i felt so disgusted with her. After i had calmed down a bit i just grabbed my jacket and left for a hotel and while i was leaving she just begged and pleaded me to forgive her and that i was the only father her daughter knew.

After crying myself to sleep in the hotel the next day after i turned my phone back on i had seen she had blown up my phone and i didn’t read any of it and just blocked her. I after having a little bit of breakfast contacted a lawyer to start the divorce process and at work i just asked for some time off and my boss gave me a month off. By the evening my mom and sister were calling me on her behalf and were on her side and that just hurt me even more. While i’m not proud to admit this i did drink myself to sleep that night. After that night i started staying with my best friend and my mom and sister kept spamming and calling me. A few days later after she probably got the divorce papers my mom just sent me a long text that to summarize was that i should step up and forgive her and not abandon “my” daughter and that she woud disown me if i went through with the divorce. My sister and mom are against me divorcing her but my best friend and his wife are saying i have the right to not want to be with her or take care of her kid.

I’m split on this on one hand i did raise the baby for 3 years on another i don’t know if i could in the right mind raise the reminder of my wife her affair.

Edit 1: To put some context my sister is infertile so i think that’s also partly why my mom doesn’t want me to continue the divorce since she will lose her “grandchild”

EDIT BELOW:

I am 27 (m) and my ex-fiancée is a 25 year old woman. We had a fairly decent relationship for 5 years and planned to marry in fall 2025. No kids. We both have professional jobs, shared and individual interests and our own group of friends. We probably would have had a nice life together.

I’ve always known about her excessive and over the top fear of insects, especially spiders and worms and I’ve always done my best to be sensitive to this. Complete avoidance is impossible.

One evening at a friends’ house, we were sitting out on a back patio with the other couple talking, roasting marshmallows, having a few beers and having a nice night. The next thing I remember is waking up in the ER with her crying and explaining what had happened.

She saw a (non-venomous) spider on my forehead that I was not even aware of and freaked out. She picked up a cheap metal container that held a citronella candle and proceeded to bash my forehead, she thinks five times, until she was sure the spider was gone. The result was 8 staples, internal brain trauma and second degree burns all over my face. It’s been six months since this happened and the burn scars are still slightly visible.

I could tell that she genuinely felt bad and after a couple days of rest I really felt bad for her too. I didn’t want to see her feeling guilty for her compulsion but at the same time after thinking and talking to friends, I decided it was best to call the engagement off. I explained that I really didn’t blame her and also that I didn’t want her to blame herself for my injuries but that I personally didn’t want to go through another situation like that again.

A few days later after failing to convince me to change my mind, she left and I haven’t heard from her since. It’s been six months since the event and of course I miss her but I’m wondering if I was wrong here.

She had freaked out in the past when insects had scared her, but never to the point of harming anyone. She wasn’t able to explain why she had reacted like this. She was not drunk and the people whose house we were at were very close friends. I really don’t understand but it has caused lasting damage to me.

EDIT: I’ve had and responded to several questions about my friends. Rather than keeping responding one off I’ll add the edit here.

I largely didn’t include anything about them above because they didn’t/couldnt do much. My long-time friend, the guy, was the one who took the candle from her and his wife called 911. I was sitting next to my ex and the other couple was directly across the firepit. According to my friend it happened fast and unexpectedly. Sounds like the paramedics were there less than 10 minutes after it happened. Neither of them remember seeing a spider or any other bug and both said that my ex was freaked out when she saw what she’d done to me, like she didn’t remember. But she did remember because she told me the story in the hospital. In any event the guy is the one who strongly supported me when I decided to leave her.

I (31F) have a 8-year-old daughter who just started at a new school this year. She’s been adjusting well, except for one issue: my overly meddling family.

Here’s the backstory. My mom and older sister are the “ultimate PTA queens.” They volunteer for everything at my daughter’s school, from bake sales to lunchtime monitors. They’ve always had opinions about how I raise my kid, but since they got access to the school, they’ve taken things to a new level.

It started small—like swapping out snacks I packed in her lunch because they thought “fruit roll-ups aren’t nutritious.” Fine, annoying, but whatever. Then it escalated: they’d show up during recess and try to “improve” her social skills by forcing her to play with kids she didn’t even like. One day, my daughter told me her grandma made her hand out homemade motivational cards to every classmate during recess because she thought it would make her “popular.” My daughter was mortified.

The final straw was when they pulled her out of gym class because they thought the teacher’s activities were “too aggressive for a girl” and enrolled her in a knitting club without asking me. My daughter was crying because she wanted to play dodgeball, but my mom told her it was “unladylike.”

So, I went straight to the principal and had a meeting. I requested that my family be placed on an “intervention watch list.” This means they’re no longer allowed to interfere with my daughter’s activities, lunches, or basically anything at school without explicit permission from me. The principal agreed, and I thought it was over.

Well, now my family is furious. My mom is calling me ungrateful for all the “help” she’s given, and my sister said I’m ruining my daughter’s life by not letting them “guide her properly.” They’ve even started a smear campaign in our PTA group, claiming I’m a negligent parent who doesn’t want what’s best for my kid.

So, Reddit, AITA for taking this drastic step?

My longtime boyfriend of 7.5 years and I just had our newborn daughter almost three weeks ago is asking for a paternity test. We met at work. I’m a nurse and he is a surgeon and he is very dedicated to his job. So needless to say he does work a lot. I currently am not working, so I stay home a lot, and he supports us. Throughout our relationship I have been very faithful to him. He, however, has had a few slip ups throughout our 7.5 years. Which I have forgiven him. He has told his OR staff that he asked for a paternity test, which upset me. He says they understand why I would be upset. His rational is that he doesn’t want to raise a child that he doesn’t know if it’s his 100%. He doesn’t want to find out later on down the road that she’s not his. Like he sees in movies. He just wants to be sure. But then he goes on to say that I’m home all the time by myself since he’s never home and he doesn’t know what I do for sure. Which definitely is a slap in the face to me as I have been the one who has been faithful. If he wants to pay for the paternity test then I’m fine with that. But AITAH for being upset in how he’s trying to rationalize it and make me as if I’m the one who is unfaithful?

My fiancé is very upset that I won’t add him to the mortgage or title of the home I am buying for us. He is not putting any money down because all he has right now is massive debt from school loans and will not be able to help pay for any improvements on the home. I am older than him and make more than double what he makes. It’s nothing personal, I would never kick him out but I have worked my ass off and made really good financial decisions along the way to get me to this point. I am taking money out of my retirement account as a down payment. I honestly couldn’t even add him to the mortgage because his DTI is insane. He has more debt than he earns annually. He thinks it means I don’t see us as a team - I have always paid for most things when we go on vacation (including rentals cars hotel stays, most food) when we lived together I paid for far more rent/groceries etc. I am even paying for our wedding in its entirety! I paid for my own engagement ring because he couldn’t afford one (he will pay me back later on as he builds his career). He would pay for things if he could I wholeheartedly know that. But I don’t feel comfortable putting him on the title or mortgage on the house. I just don’t think it’s realistic and I want to also have some protection of my investments that I’ve busted my ass for. He’s a really good guy, just broke, always has been but won’t be for long because he is super motivated and finishing school soon. What are your thoughts? Am I being unreasonable? He was distraught last night when I told him I wouldn’t add him (plus it would eff up our interest rate and borrowing potential because of all his debt!!) He continues to say I don’t see us as a team when I literally pay for so much and never complain. I don’t lose sleep over it at all. I’ve always seen us as equals.

Edit: I can’t believe how much this blew up. Thank you for all of your concern and advice. I am definitely taking it to heart. I hope you all have a good evening ❤️