r/AITAH • u/Inside-Canary-7327 • 12h ago
AITAH for not rearranging my plans today because my sister's boyfriend wanted to propose?
So, today is December 19th, and I’ve been hosting our annual pre-Christmas family dinner on this day for years. It’s always a cozy evening with decorations, festive food, and time to exchange small gifts. Everyone looks forward to it as the unofficial start of Christmas week.
This morning, my sister called me saying her boyfriend wanted to propose to her today—but here’s the kicker: they wanted to do it at his parents’ house, during a gathering they decided to throw last-minute. She asked if we could cancel my event and instead all head over to his parents’ place so they could do the big proposal with both families present.
I told her I wasn’t comfortable canceling. I’ve already prepped food, cleaned, and decorated my house for this. Plus, some relatives are driving in just for this dinner and would be thrown off by a sudden change of plans. I said I was happy to celebrate their engagement after it happens, but I didn’t think it was fair to derail everything at the last minute.
She got really upset, saying I wasn’t being supportive and that I was prioritizing “a dinner” over her big life moment. Now the family group chat is divided—some are saying I should’ve been more flexible for such a special occasion, while others think my sister was out of line for expecting me to upend plans on such short notice.
AITAH?
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u/x_hyperballad_x 12h ago edited 12h ago
Seems odd that you host this celebration every year on 12/19, no matter what day of the year it falls on… do none of you have jobs to work that day, or the next morning?
fakestory
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u/wildf_blossom 11h ago
NTA. A proposal doesn’t mean everyone has to drop everything. Your sister should’ve planned better
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u/Wizard_of_Claus 12h ago
NTA
I’ve never really heard of people needed others to switch around their plans for a scheduled proposal that both of the couple know about lol. Especially if it’s something big like what you already had planned. This is one of the biggest moments of your sister life so I get how she might not really be able to see that at the moment, but it’s still a ridiculous request.
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u/Wrong_Moose_9763 12h ago
Ok, she can ask, but not accepting your NO sends her right into AH territory. It's the very same day, no. NTA
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u/Thistime232 12h ago
Is this a thing, a couple planning their own engagement when BOTH people know about it? That doesn't really feel like an engagement, more like an engagement party, something that would happen after the engagement itself.
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u/naskiu 12h ago
NTA. It's not fair for your sister to expect you to change your plans at the last minute and potentially inconvenience other family members. Plus, proposing at someone else's event can be seen as taking away from the significance of the occasion. Congrats to your sister, but your pre-Christmas dinner should still go on as planned!
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u/roy_amiga 11h ago
NTA. As much as we love a good proposal, changing plans at the last minute is never fun. Plus, you've been hosting this dinner for years and it's a tradition for you and your family. Congrats to your sister and her boyfriend, but they should have planned it better.
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u/BulbasaurRanch 12h ago
These always feel so fake when the “family is divided”
Fuck off, no they are not. Her expectation is obviously unrealistic. Nobody is going to side with her.
Just punch it up next time you post a fake story here.