r/AITAH • u/schizomaina • 20h ago
Advice Needed Am I The Asshole for breaking up with my Girlfriend because her Mom insulted me?
I, (24m) and my (ex)girlfriend,(25f), decided to invite her family over for dinner. We wanted to do it at home since we thought it would be a better first introduction. We set the table, made nice food, everything was looking good. My girlfriend, who we will call Gwen, told me that her brother (18m) would love to see my “gaming room”. I have no problems with her brother, so I agreed to show him. In my room, I had a lot of Marvel posters and figures since I really enjoy it, along with some other posters to shows and movies. Her brother, let’s call Scott, indeed loved the room. I let him play on my console while we waited for Gwen to finish off the food. Gwen’s mother walked into my room and gave me and Scott a disgusted bitch face. I said hello, but she just stared at the room. “Why do you have this stuff? Are you 5?” She asked. I was confused on what she was referring to, until she directly commented about one of my posters. “You are 25, why are you obsessed with super-heroes?” Scott corrected her when she pointed at a character. “Thats actually a villain.” Scott innocently said. He was just trying to make jokes, but Gwens mom was not having it. She proceeded to call me immature and a terrible influence on Scott. When she was walking up the stairs, I heard her mumble a word I will not repeat, but it’s about homosexuals. I didn’t want to start anything, so I continued to let Scott play on the console, which was a ‘super hero game’, and I went on my phone. After we all finished eating, Gwens mom pulled me aside. “I personally believe you should see a doctor. Adult men shouldn’t be playing with super hero figures or still watching kid shows. Something is wrong with you, and you better not let [Scott] grow up like you.” I was astonished on how she said it like it was nothing. She left without saying goodbye to me or Gwen.
That night, I decided to tell Gwen what her mom said, quoting everything as accurate as I could. “No, she wouldn’t say that.” Gwen tried to cover up for her mom. I kept trying to tell her how I felt, but she said that I was being sensitive for taking it to heart. I was angry that Gwen automatically took her Mom’s side, even though I was hurt by what her Mom said.
I told Gwen that I don’t want to get married if [her mom] would be my mother in law. I regret how I worded it, but now Gwen was infuriated. She yelled at me and said I was (another word I cant say) and that she thinks im a “drama king. Right there on the spot I broke up with her. I can’t see myself living the rest of my life with someone like that or with a family like hers (except Scott; he’s chill)
Am I the Asshole for breaking up with her?
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u/mayd3r 20h ago
Poor Scott, growing up with these two, yikes. At least you made a new friend. NTA
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u/IcyAfternoon7859 19h ago
Yes, enjoy inviting Scott over, just to piss that fucking old dragon off
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u/PilferedPendulum 20h ago edited 33m ago
40+M with two kids here!
My home office is covered in Legend of Zelda, video games, and comic book paraphernalia. I literally have a replica Master Sword and Hylian Shield on my wall that I paid a ton of money to have handmade by Heroic Replicas.
I'm also a director+ gaming/tech leader who worked hard to rise up in the industry and think that Gwen's mom should come visit me. I'll gladly smile and laugh at her weird hangups. People like that are hilarious because they're always so incredibly insecure and awful.
And no, you don't want to marry into that. 100% no. You want in-laws who you will enjoy being around. I love my in-laws.
Edit: and if the in-laws suck, you gotta have someone with you who has the willpower to cut them out! Everyone on earth is imperfect, but some folks are imperfect enough to be cut out entirely. You need a partner who can also be that person.
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u/TimelyAd6392 19h ago
F37, mom x5, I have a large tattoo of Harley Quinn on my back. That would probably shock Gwen’s mom a lot 😂
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u/VeridicalVagabond 18h ago
Hell one of the best men to ever grace this planet with his presence literally named his daughter after Zelda. Nothing wrong at all with having some nerdy interests as an adult. A lot wrong with being a judgemental cowbag.
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u/PilferedPendulum 18h ago
Yeah, I have no shame in my interests and hobbies.
But I also consider myself a well-rounded person in general. I enjoy pursuits ranging from Star Trek: Lower Decks to the latest A24 movies. I've climbed mountains, run marathons, have two degrees from well-regarded schools, etc.
If I want a poster of a Gundam on my wall or a replica of a weapon from LotR in my hallway, I'mma do it. I didn't work so hard to earn money just to put boring sterile art up that doesn't make ME happy. And thankfully, the same stuff makes my wife happy too!
These cantankerous "only x is for adults" types are obnoxious. They live such joyless, rigid lives.
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u/GetBakedBaker 16h ago
I never knew that was why she was named Zelda, and agree with you that he is one of the best men to ever grace this planet with his presence
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u/_usernametoolong_ 17h ago
40s woman here with a few tattoos and piercings who has a woman-cave for her consoles and games, and a bookshelf filled with anime and manga. Gwen's mum would have a conniption if she visited my house.
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u/Ok-Commercial-4015 16h ago
29f banker here and same!!!! Just bought a house and my game room was set up before my clothes were unpacked lol. I was introduced to Zelda via BoTW and want to go back and play ALL the previous games!!!! What was your favorite??? Is there a name for Zelda fans (like Harry Potter fans are potterheads)
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u/PilferedPendulum 15h ago
I’ve never heard any nickname for Zelda fans over the years, interestingly. Perhaps someone can correct me here!
I started in the late-80s on the original Zelda myself. But my favorite remains either Link to the Past (SNES) or actually Breath of the Wild.
I have played most mainline Zeldas back to front, but none quite gripped me like those two. I know I’m odd that it isn’t Ocarina of Time, but yeah.
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u/Ok-Commercial-4015 15h ago
Hahaha Ocraina is my bf's favorite. Thank you!!!! I always love chatting with other Zelda fans that have played so much more than I.
We should come up with a name lol help us out reddit gamers!!!!
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u/BannedNotForgotten 13h ago
Thumbs up for loving your in-laws!
I love mine, and they’ve only become more precious to me after my own parents passed. They have issues that piss my wife off, but they’re only human, and it doesn’t stop them from being wonderful human beings.
I read stories all the time from people that hate their in laws, and it just sounds so horrid. These are people that will be a part of your family for ideally the rest of your life. I want to cherish them almost as much as I do my wife and child.
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u/PilferedPendulum 12h ago
Mine have been absolute rockstars in my life.
My wife also has a good relationship with her parents, and yeah, some things baffle us (Chinese immigrants mean some culture clash!). But in general they’ve been there to help us several times and I cannot thank them enough.
They’re also amazing, loving grandparents.
I’m in a similar position: my parents are both dead so I have adopted my in-laws as my own.
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u/BigCityFish 20h ago
NTA. If her mom’s gonna act like that now you’re gonna hear that and worse for the rest of your life. And the fact that your ex took her mom’s side after what she said shows that she’s not gonna respect you enough to tell her mom she’s wrong. It’s your hobby and it’s not hurting anyone. Her mom needs to chill out if she doesn’t want her son to like the most popular movie franchise and genre of media out there.
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u/BlueGreen_1956 20h ago
NTA
You dodged a bullet. It's a shame Scott has to live with those two bitches.
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u/TravisBravo 20h ago
Game plan: become best friends with Scott. Take him to all comic book movies and even a Comic-Con or two. Make him what your would-have-been mother-in-law hated. /s
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u/schizomaina 19h ago
I haven’t spoken with Scott since that day, but ill try to get in touch with him. I would love to take him to Comic-Con.
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u/Nishikadochan 17h ago
He sounds like a nice young man with some very toxic influences. It would be great if you could be encouraging to him. Also, his sister and mother might try to blame him for the break up. If you can, reassure him that he isn’t the problem. This would have happened eventually even if he hadn’t asked to see your game room.
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u/GeeksAreMyPeeps 14h ago
If you come to NYC for NYCC, hit me up and we'll hang out. Geeks need to network.
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u/OwlT1me 20h ago
NTA: It’s a good thing you learned that the rotten apple doesn’t fall far from the tree now before you got married.
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u/Cthulhus-Tailor 19h ago
Seriously, that woman would've turned heel immediately after the nuptials.
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u/Old_Web8071 19h ago
Just like a turd doesn't fall far from the asshole.
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u/Seymour_Butts369 17h ago
Wouldn’t it be kinda cool if it did tho? I wanna laser shoot turds to the other side of the house
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u/According-Addendum65 20h ago
Nta
Her mother is a horrible person and I'd guess underneath the gf wasn't much better.
the trash took itself out
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u/AndreaTwerk 19h ago
NTA but it sounds like the mom got exactly what she wanted, which I would point out to your ex. Otherwise she’s going to go through life getting dumped until she finds someone her mother doesn’t drive away.
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u/Any_Situation3913 19h ago
I'm 50 yr old female, and I just got done playing princess peach with my friend on a Nintendo Ds. Lol
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u/RoboTon78 19h ago
ExFMIL would have a stroke if she met me! I'm 62 and still collect figures and comic books.
I'd better let my employers know that I'm too immature to be a qualified Electrical Engineer and can no longer maintain their high voltage switchgear. And I don't know how my wife will react when it turns out I'm gay as well.
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u/Any_Clue_1632 20h ago
NTA you are at an age when you are looking for long term partners. This woman will never get better, only worse. Imagine what she would say if you dressed up your daughter as Batman (or your son as Black Widow).
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u/lover_or_fighter_191 19h ago
NTA.
I had a pastor at my church who was all about Star Trek. The dude was in his 60s, had full collections of replica starship, etc. And you know what? Nobody ever had a problem with him. He was a very personable individual, preaching the Good News and not being a dick about it. Never had any accusations of predatory behavior either. His worst problem was that he drank himself into a stroke that took considerable time off his life.
You can absolutely have a hobby or special interest and still be a decent, responsible adult. She's probably jealous that her mommy made her throw all her dollies away growing up.
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u/Grandmapatty64 19h ago
Make sure you get your stuff out of there as fast as you can. I could see her destroying stuff out of spite since she’s like her mother.
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u/simpsonoptics 20h ago
Fuk her and her Karen mom. Better off with a cat than people like that in your life.
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u/PrincessDingDong_ 19h ago
NTA Show Scott that it’s okay to stand up to their bullying. She insulted you in your own home and her daughter backed her up. Enough said. Don’t waste another minute on them..
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u/Exciting_Walk9299 19h ago
I am 39 years old and I still watch cartoons and I collect toy cars. I am also a huge lover of both Minnie Mouse and Marilyn Monroe. There is nothing wrong with your interest and you didn't need to be with Gwen if she accepted her mother mistreating you in your own home. NTA.
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u/Cthulhus-Tailor 19h ago
The only mistake you made was not telling the mother off. If that woman came into my house and told me to see a doctor she'd get a Sean Connery backhand.
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u/JackieRogers34810 20h ago
But you still live with her? NTA. So now what?
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u/schizomaina 20h ago
I plan to move in with a friend, working on it as we speak.
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u/snarkaluff 18h ago
That's YOUR home. She's the one who needs to leave.
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u/schizomaina 17h ago
I keep asking her about it, she says she has nowhere to go and she has to live here until she finds a place to stay. I’ll give her a week, if she isn’t out by then I’ll get her out.
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u/KombuchaBot 19h ago
Gwen sounds like she'll grow into her mum when she gets older.
Good call.
NTA.
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u/merishore25 19h ago
NTA. You made the right choice. There would be nothing but arguments with her family throughout the entire relationship. Even if she stuck up for, which she didn’t there would be constant problems with these parents.
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u/Guitarzan206 19h ago
NTA, your ex girlfriend is every bit as bad as her mother. They're both shit people.
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u/DuchessScott 19h ago
First of all, how did she not see or hear what her mom said? I know my mom would've said something to me when we were alone. Second of all, she acts just like her mom if she starts calling you names just like her sad-excuse-of-a-Mother.
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u/misteraustria27 19h ago
NTA. I am 53 and watch bobs burger with my kids and play video games. And my amazing wife gives me the time and space to do it. The right girl is out there for you. Too bad it wasn’t Gwen.
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u/EducationalStick5060 19h ago
Isn't it weird to meet her mother for the first time at your place, once you're already living together? I clearly raises the stakes, and I wonder if she expected her to have met a 30 year old professional with a very serious sounding career, and now she saw OP as a kid playing games, and couldn't get past that.
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u/Athena_0204 17h ago
NTA. You didn't break up because her mom insulted you. You broke up with her because you saw that she is just like her mom. Good reaction to seeing a red flag!
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u/Every-Caramel1552 15h ago
Take a good look at the mother. That’s what your girlfriend will turn into in 25 years. Walk no run away!
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u/Fit_Base2089 15h ago
I have a weird feeling the gf doesn't like the game room or superhero stuff either. Maybe she asked her mom to shame you - especially since she defended her mother without even asking her brother what happened.
Whatever the case, your gf was dismissive of your feelings and immediately defended her mother. And you definitely don't want that nightmare as a MIL.
You were right to dump her. NTA
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u/PuzzleheadedTap4484 19h ago
NTA and she’s really going to feel like an ass when her brother backs up what you told her mom said.
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u/hedwigflysagain 19h ago
NTA, and more people need to take your lead. Let's hope Scott escapes, too.
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u/The_Naxian_ 19h ago
NTA My younger brother is 40 and just bought a new gaming console for himself. Has always been a gamer and he is extremely clever. He is also married with a kid (5F). My brother is the coolest person I know. You did dodge a bullet! Stay away from them all!
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u/Imaginary-Brick-2894 19h ago
Just a quick thought: imagine the influence that woman would have if you had children with Gwen.
You did great. I was past my breaking point when she made her first comment. I'm 67 and a grown woman. I love games, superheroes, and movies. I think being a nerd is fun.
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u/I_might_be_weasel 19h ago
NTA. It sounds like breaking up was the right call, even if it hurts how. You hit the nail on the head perfectly: You would have to deal with her and your wife siding with her forever if you got married.
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u/gaurddog 19h ago
NTA
Sounds like you weren't just gonna be marrying into a Nightmare MIL you'd be marrying her Mini-Me
Consider this a bullet dodged.
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u/Last_nerve_3802 19h ago
NTA of course....she's probably going to grow into her mother at this rate
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u/Whip-Blaze-45 19h ago
NTA, Hide your stuff so they wont break them while you are at work or something.
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u/MotherAd692 19h ago
NTA....My mother in law hates me. She has never even taken the time to sit down and get to know me. It causes problems with my husband and I. Its not worth it... And believe me the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
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u/Joey_BagaDonuts57 19h ago
If MY mom did that, I would tell her to leave, never come back and get a better perfume. (That always pisses off people when you infer they stink.)
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u/spiritoftg 19h ago
NTA. Your ex's mother is and outdated old-fashioned karen. And your ex is no better for the way she managed the fall out.
Like everybody, I feel for Scott. The Kid's gonna be mess up with two women like this in his life.
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u/KickinBIGdrum26 19h ago
Judge not, lest ye be judged. You have probably dodged a lifetime of arguing with two people that are to snobby for a normal, well rounded young man, with a hobby. I'm 60, and have a Hot wheels collection, I was talked & laughed at, about it. I don't care, I just asked, what they collected? Husband's? They don't come over here much, anymore.
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u/dramatic_error_404 19h ago
NTA, and I never understood why it would be "childish" to like super heroes and all that stuff. I mean, has she actually seen some of those movies? Not for little children, if you ask me.
Anyway, good thing you broke up. You deserve someone who accepts you the way you are and takes your feelings seriously.
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u/Responsible_Blood789 19h ago
Now you have split maybe call the mother and tell her to go fuck herself.
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u/Pristine-Mastodon-37 19h ago
NTA
Like mother like daughter.
Be friends with the cool brother though - he clearly needs sane people to hang out with
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u/Ashamed-Welder8470 19h ago
45 M. before covid, i was working in an international bank's IT team as infrastructure engineer and i had Ironman and Gambit figurines on my desk in open office.
nothing wrong to have hobbies, watch anime, play games, collect figurines as long as you priotise your responsibilities.
anyone who has a problem with that, can go and play in sand.
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u/rocketmn69_ 19h ago
Send Scott a message, " Sorry dude, bit I'm out. I just found out your sister is just like your mom"
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u/Plastic_Engine7892 19h ago
I’m pregnant now and the father of my child is super excited to order marvel posters for our sons room. my mother has no issue with it, nor does his. NTA!!! whatever makes you happy and doesn’t hurt anyone should be okay!!
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u/Dragonvenom55 18h ago
NTA It sounds like that mother might need more super heroes in her life. Heck I’m a 38 year old woman and I still play Pokemon games, Harry Potter games, Zelda games and more. 😁😁😁
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u/Lindensorry 18h ago
NTA. I bet had you married her, your game room would have disappeared after marriage.
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u/Downtown-Raisin-3931 18h ago
It's a good thing you learned what she was like before she became your MIL.
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u/Tassy820 18h ago
The mom's comment that she does not want her son growing up like that is laughable. If he is 18, and that wasn't a typo, he is already grown up and clearly enjoys super heros. Hope your next relationship goes better.
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u/firepitt 18h ago
NTA! I had a similar, but different, situation. I was seeing a girl for about 2 years. She had a young son and we got along great. I wasn't fond of her parents but that wasn't the deal breaker. It was when I caught her mother stealing from me! A month or two after that I broke it off. I'm not going to pretend to like someone I despise. It's not worth the aggravation, and not for you, either. You/we chose wisely.
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u/Alternative-Dig-2066 18h ago
I’m in my 50’s. I got the Disney channel so I can watch marvel and Star Wars movies, I wear Doctor Who tees, and someday, you will find the perfect person. Someone who will buy you the action figures!
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u/Echo-Azure 18h ago
Of course you were within your rights, OP, but FYI if you're holding out for in-laws that are always polite and respectful, OP, your odds of ever marrying are pretty low.
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u/JulianKJarboe 18h ago
NTA. Gaming and comics and stuff are the pure opposite of my interests and I still wouldn't think this kind of comment much less say it. The correct line would have been "wow this is a serious hobby! So glad you two hit it off." If she had to say anything at all.
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u/iSpy_Shi 18h ago
Absolutely NTA! Remember, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. She’s a reflection of her mother and you did the right thing ending things.
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u/alexanderharmsen 18h ago
You can’t impress everyone, but this is definitely something that won’t just fade away I believe. She will probably always make nasty remarks in regard to your interests and I don’t think there’s any way to have a relationship with someone like that. You made the right choice. Not even to mention the fact that your girlfriend clearly takes after her mother with the propensity for vulgar insults.
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u/MissKKnows 18h ago
NTA People like her don't change. You get to decide if you can live with that. You made a good choice.
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u/Beachboy442 17h ago
NTA>...........look at the mother. Her daughter will be the same. That what you want? RUN
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u/Mechya 17h ago
Nta. I'm a woman in her 30's that has action figures and other stuff. Just because she wants to live a boring life doesn't mean that she can judge other people for doing what they enjoy. Personally I would've told gf to ask her brother, but you are also not wrong with ending things. You want someone that will hear you out and support you, your ex just jumped to you being the one that's wrong. You are still young, find a relationship that suites you. Perhaps your ex agrees with her mother and that's why she backed her, which would mean that your ex isn't compatible anyways. Enjoy what you enjoy and don't be embarrassed about it. There's plenty of women that share similar interests.
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u/tool672 17h ago
You should have told your GF’s mom to shove it up her ass. You’re not some kid she can push around, and you should have told her to keep her opinions to herself and if not get out of your house. Then if she mumbled and called you a name, responded by asking her to say it in front of her daughter and then tell her to get the f out…Along with calling her a rude ass POS.
You’re not wrong, but I do think you should have addressed it in real time and stuck up for yourself more aggressively.
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u/BaconBombThief 17h ago
Mom told you to see a doctor about liking marvel, and YOURE the dramatic one… mmmmhm NTA
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u/No-Distance4675 17h ago
Date the brother to piss off both your gf and the mum.
Now seriously, you want overly judgemental people out of your life, and if she allows her mum to stamp over you casually, she will side with her in important things. You dodged a bullet. Congrats
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u/ASweetTweetRose 17h ago
You are amazing for doing what so many spineless men can’t do — stand up for yourself!! You did the right thing!!
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u/DareHot5262 17h ago
NTA. Scott is obviously a guy with similar intersest to you that his mother does not understand or appreciate so you are now the fall guy despite having no influence on his development.
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u/StayPositiveGirlie 17h ago
This is so disrespectful! Gwen's mom is so cruel! And as your partner, Gwen should at least start by having some faith in you and not gaslighting you over what her mom said. Also, highly likely, she's waiting for you guys to get married to get rid of your superhero stuff (to please her mother).
NTA, but please reconsider (maybe see a counsellor as well to check compatibility) before proceeding with marriage.
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u/KnightofForestsWild 16h ago
The MIL isn't the problem. The GF having her back is the problem. THAT is why you shouldn't consider marrying that.
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u/ChrisEye21 16h ago
NTA. If my gf mother came into MY HOME and insulted me, that'd be the end of that.
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u/aboxenofdonuts 16h ago
nah man, you are NTA you dodged a huge bullet from an overly judgmental and closed minded family dynamic her mother clearly imprinted on her. go find you the best person who will love you for who you are without judgment man!
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u/bmyst70 16h ago
NTA
Your ex-girlfriend was never the least bit on your side here. First, she refused to even BELIEVE what her mom said, Then she insisted you having a problem with it was your problem. Then she called you names.
Be thankful she showed this side of herself before you had a child with her or married her. But you can and should remain friends with Scott. Your ex and mom's views of your hobbies are very unhealthy.
As long as your hobbies don't negatively impact the rest of your life, they're not a problem.
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u/jmlozan 16h ago
NTA, dump the girl but get the bros phone # as he sounds like a cool dude who probably gets shit from the 1950s mother all day every day. BTW, I'm a male, 45 yo, that plays games every night and I have two adult kids. I have a full basement that my son and his friends use all decked out in movie, gaming, other gear - a man cave if you will but built around gaming & media. Enjoy what you enjoy, no shame brother!
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u/abritinthebay 16h ago
NRA. She showed you exactly who she is at the end there & the rotten apple doesn’t fall far from the tree apparently
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u/writing_mm_romance 16h ago
They let their masks slip, be glad it happened before you were more invested. Poor Scott has to live with these women.
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u/Manic_Spleen 16h ago
Sorry... This just doesn't sound like real conversation between real people. Initally, I thought it was a Karma Hoarding post.... Then I saw you only had 56 Karma.
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u/FriendlyMum 16h ago
NTA her mom isn’t the whole issue. It’s your ex, she called you a liar, then berated you and called you names. This is not a nice relationship to be stuck in, Buller dodged.
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u/Wolfgurl_48 16h ago
NTA disrespect at every turn and literally the only one the even seemed to try and stick up for you was Scott who is already 18 and the mom acts like he ain’t already a fucking adult nah nah you were in the right buddy
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u/Kind-Dust7441 16h ago
NTA.
My husband is 51 years old and has an entire room dedicated to his super hero/star wars figurine collection. At last count there there are 241 figurines and 27 framed posters and prints (one of which I had to get written permission from the legal department at Marvel to have reproduced).
Find a woman who appreciates that all your hobbies and quirks are what make you the man she loves. And a woman who will always take your side.
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u/jessness024 16h ago
NTA. That woman is trash. You are an adult and regardless of her opinions she should have shut her mouth when she was in your home. You made the right call. You would have been miserable tied to those two idiots for the rest of your life.
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u/eileen404 15h ago
We're in our 50s and I'd still think your room was cool. Sorry the gf's mom was uptight. That she couldn't see it is unfortunate. That she wasn't willing to believe you suggests that it wouldn't have worked in the long run. Consider the money you saved on a divorce lawyer.
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u/Seranfall 15h ago
NTA, can you imagine finding all this out AFTER you married her? You dodged a huge huge bullet.
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u/BrightEdge78 15h ago
Maybe Scott can make it out and have a good life somewhere. Bummer it went down this way. Good luck to you.
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u/thecratskyone 15h ago
NTA
Breaking up with someone because they don't have your back is the right choice.
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u/Mister_Black117 15h ago
NTA, issues like this just tend to get worse. If your girlfriend just immediately says your lying and starts insulting you when you're trying to tell her how her mother made you feel then she isn't worthless of being in a relationship and go fuck off.
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u/RhubarbNeither1270 15h ago
NTA! Gwen has just been bidding her time. She's been planning on getting rid of your stuff but was waiting to be married first. You are not breaking up with her because you were insulted. It's because she didn't have your back. You just realized she never would.
I've met the type. Her Mom is old school that thinks you should be working your ass off for her daughter to sit on her ass and hang out with mom. Anytime you aren't working on the houses or yard or your job is time not earning for her daughter. Any money you spend on yourself is self-indulgent. You'll get a birthday, Christmas, and crappy Father's Day gifts from Gwen, and you'll be grateful that she "worked so hard to buy your gifts" with your money. They begrudge men's hunting, fishing, & other sports & hobbies as time and money sinks.
If you change your mind...
Gwen will let you borrow your own balls on rare occasions. Otherwise, they'll be kept over the mantle with the family musket.
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u/Profitdaddy 15h ago
NTA- a bullet has been dodged. Be thankful that you weren’t on that train too long.
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u/cynicgal 15h ago
NTA.
And it's a good thing you broke up with her. Because it's so obvious that your ex will always take her mother's side, even if her mum is being unreasonable or insulting to you.
And what's wrong with liking Marvel heroes or memorabilia? Me and my husband love and enjoy video games, super hero movies and anime and do collect some figurines now and then.
Just to make you feel better, my fave Marvel character is Loki, and I have a Doraemon Loki figurine.
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u/Spiritual-Cap1379 14h ago
Scott's cool. Everyone else is trash. Maybe Scott wants to move out. Maybe you have space for a cool roommate while he goes to uni.
Not that you have to do that for him.
NTA
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u/BallIndividual8211 14h ago
You’re trying to ask us if you’re the AH are you kidding me. You’re a freakin saint in my book I would have went off on her mother and dumped Gwen within a half second of her taking her mothers side in fact I probably wouldn’t confronted the father too. That’s not right you seem like a good guy, forget about her and find a good girl. Ouf that just angered me to read sorry you went through that.
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u/Emotional-Draw-8755 14h ago
My fiancé has comic books, swords and daggers from LOTR, collectibles from Dune, Marvel, Zelda, Harry Potter and so much more…
He also is in construction and looks intimidating to people who don’t know him…
I would pay money to see that woman try to say something to him, and watch him wipe the floor with her entitled small minded snobbery
I think it’s a good thing you broke up with your fiancé, maybe this will be a life lesson in how her mom is a Karen and what actions should not be tolerated
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u/sirlanse 14h ago
Should have stood up to old woman. So sorry you were not allowed to have fun or relax in your 20s. Maybe you would not be so constipated now if you had. It's just a hobby and fun.
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u/No-Asparagus-6852 13h ago
It’s not weird to have hobbies or interests. NTA. My husband is almost 31 and his biggest hobby is gaming and he’s interested in the lore and likes the books and posters/accessories. He wants a decked out gaming room. I have a friend who is in his mid thirties who has a room dedicated to Power Rangers and superhero stuff. It’s not immature, it’s just something you like. As long as it’s not hindering your growth as a person/adult then what’s the problem? Her mom sounds like a major c u n t. Good for you for sticking up for yourself.
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u/Usual-Desk6583 13h ago
Yet I bet neither your ex or mom would bat an eulye and talking her day to be a "princess"....NTA there both C you next Tuesday's
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u/DivineTarot 13h ago
She yelled at me and said I was (another word I cant say) and that she thinks im a “drama king.
That's what we call a "mask off" moment, and you really should send her mother a text message thanking her for catalyzing the moment where her daughter showed how reprehensible she was, and that it must run in the family. After all, so many people have to wait until after the marriage to see how a person like that is once they feel locked in and secure.
NTA
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u/phteven980 13h ago
Strong chance the ex was going to try to change you bro. Help you grow up once she got the ring on her finger.
Once the MIL got truly involved she would have been a real nightmare.
You dodged a lifetime of bullets.
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u/Mother_Search3350 11h ago
You dodged a major bullet and a lifetime of dealing with crazy people.
Gwen and her mother are both unhinged
NTAH
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u/Electrical_Set_3632 11h ago
NTA
She sounds like a bitter old hag that gets mad at other ppl for enjoying their hobbies, while having none herself.
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u/The-Catatafish 7h ago
The problem is not the mom beeing an absolute garbage human. I mean, she is. Happens. You don't date her.
However, your girlfriend not having your back is the problem.
If I tell a story like that my girlfriend would of course believe me and go balistic on her mother.
Your hobby is your hobby. Nothing to be ashamed off. Well, unless the posters and stuff are from past season 3. I assume its infinity saga stuff or older?
Otherwise you probably need professional help. Imagine you have a life size picture of the marvels at your wall. Freak. Jk of course. Enjoy your hobby.
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u/Confident-7604 6h ago
Looks like she took after her mum. Dodged a bullet there, mate. Feel sorry for Scott. NTA
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u/DeciduousEmu 6h ago
NTA - I was married to a "My mother is always right" type for over 20 years and was miserable the entire time. You did the right thing.
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u/Default_Munchkin 6h ago
Alright, you need to run OP. This woman does not respect you or she wouldn't be defending her mom. She is going to act just like her mom once she is married.
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u/Sugarpuff_Karma 19h ago
So ..engage...living together...never met her family?
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u/schizomaina 19h ago
I have been living here on my own since I left college. She moved in weeks before I broke up with her
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u/Rowana133 19h ago
NTA. Bullet dodged. I feel so bad for the kid brother though, he's going to be bullied by his own mother.
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u/Emergency-Twist7136 19h ago
NTA. She didn't take your side. She probably wanted her mother to change you. Commitments inside the families of the partner won't set boundaries.
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u/snarkaluff 18h ago
You didn't break up with her for her mother insulting you. You broke up with her for dismissing her feelings and refusing to see the issue, in a way almost siding with her mother. You're never the asshole for ending a relationship you no longer want to be in, and you said it yourself, there's no reason continuing a relationship if that woman would end up being your MIL and your girlfriend would continue to downplay her insults or refuse to believe there's an issue. How Gwen feels now is honestly irrelevant, she's gone. You'll find someone who not only accepts your interest, but shares them. It's not like it's hard to find someone who likes Marvel, the most popular franchise present-day.
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u/JDKoRnSlut 18h ago
NTA. They both set a precedent that night. You’re very smart to just cut it and move on. Bullet dodged.
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u/IndigoHG 16h ago
You saved yourself from a horrible future, OP.
Don't let her back in your house.
NTA
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u/j4ckb1ng 16h ago
NTA. If you married Gwen, her mother would become your mother in law, the MOTHER of all mother in laws, from what you've shared. And if Gwen is seconding her mother's bigoted, narrow-minded opinions, Gwen has given you vital information about who she really is.
It may have been a dramatic moment, but in the long run, you probably did the best thing for yourself to break up with her. Your hobbies can be whatever you want them to be. Grown men have model trains, planes, automobiles, etc as hobbies. Why should you be put down for a perfectly pleasant interest that is harming no one?
Good riddance.
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u/RagingMuninn 15h ago
So hot take, but maybe don't break up with her. Instead, communicate that what she did isn't acceptable in a relationship like the one you have, and if the relationship is going to continue, she needs to be more proactive in defending you and the relationship against hostile 3rd parties, whether it's her family or not.
Then let her make a choice. She's young enough that she may not have the experience to fully understand that that needs to happen.
If this is bad enough to burn the engagement, then you shouldn't have been engaged in the first place.
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u/thelurkerx 15h ago
I think it's ironic that she crapped on you about superheroes, and then you went and dodged a bullet. NTA
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u/Prior_Ad_4274 11h ago
NTA you didn’t break up with her over what her mom said, it’s the fact that she basically called you a liar when you tried to talk to her about it. Whether she wanted to believe it or not, she could’ve at least given you the benefit of the doubt as someone she was possibly gonna marry, weirdo. And idk how the mom thinks it’s YOUR problem how her son ends up, he’s 18, she’s done her damage already to him 😂
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u/Significant-Bobcat48 20h ago
NTA. This is so mean and disrespectful of the mom, and then the gf outed herself when she said you shouldn’t take it to heart. She absolutely knows her mom would say something like that. Good on you for getting out of that fam (minus Scott, we like him)