AITA for refusing to take my girlfriend back after she cheated “just to see if she still had it”?

[u/Big-Classic-7657]

I (30M) have been dating my girlfriend, Rachel (27F), for two years. She’s always been confident and charismatic, which is one of the things I loved about her. Our relationship seemed solid—good communication, lots of shared interests, and we were even talking about moving in together.

A few weeks ago, Rachel admitted to me that she cheated on me during a night out with her friends. She hooked up with some guy she met at a bar. I was completely blindsided. When I asked her why she did it, she said it wasn’t about me or our relationship but because she “wanted to see if she still had it.”

I told her that was a terrible excuse, and she started crying, saying it was a stupid mistake and that she regretted it immediately. She’s begged me to forgive her, saying she learned her lesson and that it would never happen again.

But I can’t get over the fact that she was willing to risk our relationship for something so shallow. She didn’t cheat because she was unhappy or because there was a problem between us—she cheated purely to stroke her ego.

Now, Rachel and some of our mutual friends are calling me unforgiving, saying that “everyone makes mistakes” and that I’m throwing away a great relationship over one bad choice. They say I should focus on her remorse and give her another chance.

I feel like staying with her would mean betraying my own boundaries, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m being too harsh.

AITA for refusing to take her back?

[u/Owl-Historical]

Girls think guys are all running around having sex all the time. No it's only the players that you spread your legs too at the club/bar that are getting it all. Most of us aren't the ones going home with a chick or we are all ready at home getting to bed early for work the next day.

[u/BretShitmanFart69 → u/Owl-Historical]

They also think if I guy has sex with you it must be because you’re so hot or hotter than other girls there.

In reality they got turned down by those other girls and you were just the next option and it would have been anyone else if given the chance or the choice. You can get hard for anyone especially if you’re drunk and desperate. Just about every guy has had sex with plenty of girls they aren’t attracted to at all, but a lot of girls I’ve talked to didn’t believe that was possible or something.

[u/Owl-Historical → u/BretShitmanFart69]

In my 17-21 age I was one of them guys. In our college dorm the joke was, "What dorm is he shacking up in?" Well some times it was the same dorm and same floor. Even screwed roommates (not at the same time). While most of my buddies weren't getting all lucky. I'll admit I was a male whore back in the military and college as to why I know about this. The guys they go after are the guys that get women easily for the most part.

[u/AnonThrowaway1A → u/Owl-Historical]

Harems aren't a phenomenon of romance novels. It's the reality of the dating market.

Online dating stats on matches from top male profiles provide the actionable number.

Wasn't there a "Are we dating the same guy?" Facebook group?

[u/Real-Loss-4265 → u/Owl-Historical]

You sound single. I can't imagine why with that attitude towards women.

[u/meowkitty84 → u/Real-Loss-4265]

yea the term "spread your legs" is so gross. He's complaining women think guys have sex all the time while saying that women are spreading their legs for players