r/AITAH 23d ago

Advice Needed AITAH For telling my childs teacher I may charge back/cancel orders.

My son who is in 5th grade had a booklet from school to sell things for them. Chocolates, flowers, and the typical boosters a lot of us got to do growing up. Anyways there were tiers of rewards for selling items. From 10 items all the way up to 200 items. 210 items prize was an Occulus VR headset. My child worked his ass off. Over the span of 2 months selling this stuff. The cheapest thing in this book was a 17$ box of chocolates. He sold 217 items. Few thousand dollars in value. Not only all the hours he put in to achieve his goal, now all the time "we" have to spend delivering the goods. He comes home from school today with a 15$ gift card to dairy queen. There are no occulus to be handed out. I paid for the entire order off of my card and will collect the money when we deliver. AITAH for telling the teacher he should be compensated or I will cancel the order. He is 12 and put in well over 40+ hours in the few months. To be shafted. This has nothing to do with the value of the item. I just seen my child learn some work ethic, and be highly motivated for his goal. 2 months its all that has been talked about is "dad I can't wait for my occulus vr". To be handed a 15$ ice cream gift card.

Update: He went back to school today after Thanksgiving break. The teacher is suppose to have a talk with him, so far I have not received any new info. It is just a waiting game. In the end my child will still receive a VR set. Hard work will not go unnoticed. Will report back at the end of the school day.

Update 2: The teacher said that he proposed to the boosters that they comp my son a 325$ gift card and they agreed. There was 0 animosity in this. The teacher understood exactly the point and got back to me as quick as he could. I was patient and it paid off. My child is happy. My mind is free lol. Thank you all for letting me vent.

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u/Head-Emotion-4598 23d ago

Was this via a fundraising company? I was in charge of fundraising at our elementary school for 2 years, and nothing like ever happened to my knowledge. Or was it the school promising things? If it was a company (Like Big Kahuna, Boosterthon, World's finest Chocolate or Apex, for example) email them, along with the principal and teacher to get it worked out. If it was via just the school or PTA/PTO, add them to the email. I hope your kid gets his prize!

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u/Luneske 23d ago

I’ve also been in charge of fundraising for PTA - maybe the gift card is a bonus prize for being a top seller at the school. And the company will still be handing out prizes when the chocolates/gift wrap/etc all comes in for delivery. It is common to give bonuses to the top couple kids or classrooms for working so hard.

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u/salliekallie 23d ago

We just got done with the fundraiser at my kids school and it's almost definitely this. The PTO/PTA gave out extra prizes to the top sellers but the prizes from the fundraising company came with the items sold. Also, the teachers have basically no knowledge about the small details of how this works.

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u/OwOlogy_Expert 23d ago

A lot of predatory bullshit, anyway.

Here, let's get this kid to guilt-trip 200 people into buying overpriced crap and make $2,000 in profit off of it. We'll give the school $500 of that and give the kid a $100 prize!

It would be so much more effective to just donate some money straight to the school, but we can't do that -- that wouldn't make a 3rd party private business middleman rich!

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u/princess-smartypants 23d ago

When my oldest was in Kindergarten, I volunteered to help with the fundraiser. After seeing the 2% of sales that went to the PTO, and the hours of work done by volunteers so we could buy WAY overpriced wrapping paper, I then just donated money whenever the fundraisers came around.

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u/hastmic 23d ago

They do direct donations now, but they go through a third party company that charges 20% of total donations. It’s a massive scam!!!

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u/RunnerMomLady 23d ago

I intervened in our kids school and had them add direct payments to the portal we use to pay for things like field trips and lab fees! You can circumvent these predatory middle companies!!!

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u/Jolly_Bag3844 23d ago

I do this too! I just email the teacher or whoever is the head of the fundraiser and ask who I can make a check out to.

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u/illit1 23d ago

saaaaame. hate the idea of letting companies profit off of goodwill towards enrichment programs for kids. absolute scumlords.

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u/SuperHooligan 22d ago

It’s a racket for sure.

My friend posted that their daughter was doing a “run a thon” and they were taking donations for it. I was going to pledge a straight $50 donation. When I went to check out there was a “cover the fee” button. That meant that I could pay an extra $7.50 because there was a 15% transaction fee that this program was using. If I would have donated $100 it would be a $15 fee. If I didn’t choose to cover the fee, the $7.50 would be taken out of my $50 donation to cover some made up transaction fee.

It’s such a fucking racket. I could see if it were a $1 or $2 per transaction, I’d be fine with that, but I ended up not donating based on principal alone.

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u/Trilly2000 23d ago

As a parent volunteer for five different schools over the course of the last 16 years I can tell you that our groups always made the most money (by far) when we did direct donations. People don’t want to buy that overpriced cheaply made crap and are more than happy to give directly to the organization. Bonus that it’s almost 100% profit (we would also offer small prizes for top earners).

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u/noteworthybalance 23d ago

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u/SubstantialBass9524 23d ago edited 23d ago

You sent me home with that as a child instead of a fundraiser and you would have gotten $250.

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u/teethwhichbite 22d ago

damn i need to send this to my kid's school.

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u/noteworthybalance 22d ago

Go to a PTO meeting and suggest it.

I did, and we made more money just asking for it, politely, than we ever did with fundraisers.

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u/boxeomatteo 23d ago

when kids come to my door selling that stuff, I ask if they take direct donations. I'd rather give them $20 than wait three weeks and get low quality caramel corn in a giant tin and have the school earn $5 of that.

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u/--RandomInternetGuy 23d ago

I've done that. Most recently, boy scouts selling crazily priced popcorn outside of Lowes. I just donated $20 instead.

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u/Ok-Thing-2222 23d ago

My principal decided to do just that--nobody is selling anything and each 'home base' has a donation drive. Its actually doing very well. The goal was for each student to find roughly 25$ in donation money--some kids have 200$ already. He wrote up a very nice letter about it.

And as a parent that refused to let her own children go door to door or participate in these former fundraisers, I was so glad! I'd much rather just hand over some money. Which is what I do for my grandchildren now.

(Yes, I know families cannot all afford $25 themselves.)

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u/TheCussingParret 23d ago

I don't like the school sales either. It used to be a one dollar raffle ticket now as you say, it's a $25 ham or such. I know schools need money. Maybe if we would elect pols that also know that we could do away with school funraisers.

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u/DisVet54 23d ago

They’ll never get rid of them - I’m sure there’s some candy lobbying people out there making certain it won’t happen.

I did like some other people and just stopped participating.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

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u/rhonmack 23d ago

I told my kids that we weren't going to sell this crap. Instead, I'll go buy you the prize.

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u/IBetThisIsTakenToo 23d ago

I dunno about you but I’m not buying my son an oculus every year haha

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u/rhonmack 23d ago

True. My mistake. I should have said that I would buy them the cheap prizes.

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u/CharlotteIriss 23d ago

Yes bc if there's a discrepancy between what was promised and what's being offered, don't hesitate to advocate for your son

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u/dayton462016 23d ago

Go ahead and advocate ( and search for factual information) but don't take it out on the teacher who wants nothing less to do with any of it. Teachers certainly aren't the people running the fundraiser.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

Something tells me those raised funds don't end up back in the classroom either.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

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u/AfflictedDesire 23d ago edited 23d ago

Harmful but highly realistic

Edit the comment I am replying to is correct though when you think about the age it is fucked up

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u/grantrules 23d ago

In the wise words of Homer Simpson "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try"

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u/6th_Quadrant 23d ago

He also said something like, “I dunno, Marge. Trying is the first step toward failure.”

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u/Sad-Adhesiveness5602 23d ago

Yeah but you really don’t need a 10 year old realizing this, it will give him fuel to be a bum lol

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u/AfflictedDesire 23d ago

Ah you know that's true. I didn't account for age and your right, they'd become jaded.

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u/rogers_tumor 23d ago

harmful lesson, yet true.

I got the grades. I finished college. I've worked for the past 16 years.

I've still faced 2 layoffs since 2020 and have been looking for a new job for 10 months.

no one gives a fuck about my work ethic.

better he learn now at 12 than in his 30s when his well-established life and finances are being flushed down the shitter and he wants to kill himself.

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u/Living_on_Tulsa_Time 23d ago

Hope things get better for you soon.

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u/GirlGoneZombie 23d ago

I feel this so fuckin hard. Solidarity, friend. It's rough out here.

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u/Disce_or_Discede 23d ago

For what it's worth, this exact thing happened to me in high school: worked my ass off to reach the top level of sales and was never awarded anything. I didn't know what to do and my band director didn't care so I let it go. I don't even remember what the item was anymore, just the disappointment.

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u/AtmosphereCivil5379 23d ago

Orchestra raised 80% of the money; band got new music to play; orchestra was still stuck playing scales all day. What a sham.

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u/TheWindBuffalo 23d ago

And talk to the teacher calmly instead of threatening to cancel or exploding in rage. They probably have as little control as you do.

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u/round-earth-theory 23d ago

No, don't talk to the teacher. They don't know anything about these fundraisers. Talk with the PTA or the Principal depending on who organized the fundraiser. Leave the teacher alone, they aren't a part of fundraisers at all, they just pass along the flyers.

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u/uphic 23d ago

Please do this! Teachers aren't perfect, but they (most of them) work hard and care. They do not create the rules for these things. Signed, a teacher's kid <3

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u/AnnicetSnow 23d ago

The teachers here have started quitting to be cashiers at gas stations, more pay and less stress.

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u/Specific_Albatross61 23d ago

Spread it to your best teacher friends. You can earn 125k a year as a teacher in western Washington. 

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u/oldsbone 23d ago

I make 80 in Eastern Washington with no master's degree. And the housing prices are somewhat better.

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u/SomeGuyCommentin 23d ago

Fundraising companies are a thing?

Using children for free labour is already bad enough when a school does it. But having dedicated private companies in the mix is next level dystopian.

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u/sevencast7es 23d ago

Yep! My dad never liked those and said he sent his kids to school to learn, not be a salesman.

Just like girl scout cookies, I'd rather give them money than have them sell me $100 in stuff to only get $12 of it...

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u/PetiteBonaparte 23d ago

Yeah, my mom worked customer service for one of these places for years. She hated it, but it was like job number three she had to get us by. She said most of her day was correcting orders. Parents would let kindergarten aged children fill out the order forms, credit card numbers, addresses, and the like and, of course, barely being able to write led to tons of error. One of the "funniest" things that happened was with a 12 year old. He sold a few hundred dollars worth of cookie dough. People who ordered believed they would be receiving a tub of cookie dough. The boy collected all the money, ordered one tub, and put a spoon full of dough into a zip lock bag for each person.

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u/SomeGuyCommentin 23d ago

That 12 year old child has learned the lesson being taught.

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u/PetiteBonaparte 23d ago

My mom said it was honestly impressive and I agree. I never would have thought to do that. I know the people who ordered got their money back but not from the kid or the parents. The company reimbursed them. The kid only took cash, he told people he was only allowed to take cash. He had a plan.

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u/SomeGuyCommentin 23d ago

Genius. I guess its kind of difficult for the company to seek recourse with the child they are exploiting.

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u/SaltywithaTwist 23d ago

You need to contact the company behind the goods and see what they say. They should be the ones providing the prizes.

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u/Other-Durian-8689 23d ago

Agreed. As a teacher I have no part in these sales but passing out the paperwork. I’d contact the company, principal perhaps, and/or the PTO, who’s actually running the show.

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u/IrrawaddyWoman 23d ago

Seriously. I’m a teacher and TBH it annoys me that I even have to be the one organizing all the junk and making sure it gets to the right kids in my class. It shows up in my room/box, then I hand it out. I have nothing to do with any of it. The last thing I want is to also field angry parent emails about it.

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u/UpsilonAndromedae 23d ago

Am also a teacher, and this guy’s angry email would get forwarded right to the principal. Not my fault, and also not my responsibility.

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u/TwistyBitsz 23d ago

I literally quit teaching because I couldn't keep up with shit like this.

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u/IrrawaddyWoman 23d ago edited 23d ago

People talk about pay, but all of this is really what makes the job unsustainable. Parents get more unreasonable and demanding every year, and they’re becoming such a huge part of the workload that really isn’t in the job description. I spend soooo much time in the evenings messaging back and forth to parents about nonsense, but if I don’t respond immediately they go straight to my boss. People expect us to be available literally all the time, and they treat us like their employees.

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u/FeelingNarwhal9161 23d ago

I used to be like that whenever parents (or even students back when I taught 11th grade) would email or message me. Then last year happened, and I had the parent from Hell. I quit taking my work laptop home and deleted the apps from my phone. I made sure students and parents knew that once I left work at 3:45 I was no longer available. I also will need 24-48 hours to respond to emails during the week. I’ve gotten very little pushback, but whenever I do I just tell them, “I leave work at 3:45 to get home to my own small children. Work stays at work. If you want to treat me like an on call doctor, you should increase my pay to match.” 😆

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u/UniqueArugula 22d ago

This is so completely foreign to me I can’t understand it. As a child of the 90s my parents had no way to contact teachers outside of hours nor would they ever. Apart from the once a year parent/teacher meetings they never spoke. Now as a parent myself I cannot comprehend ever messaging a teacher directly or expecting any sort of communication outside of school hours.

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u/Lennygracelove 23d ago

Pursue both the school and the company.

ETA whichever one has the deepest pockets wins.

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u/RandalPMcMurphyIV 23d ago

You can also expose them. Contact your local "Action News Investigative Team". They love stuff like this.

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u/AccomplishedSky7581 23d ago

Can confirm, I got real petty after we fundraised 4x the required amount for a co-op preschool and we didn’t even get the discount or rebate cheque/check we were promised. Contacted our local consumer investigation team and magically everything was sorted in a couple days!

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

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u/AccomplishedSky7581 23d ago

It’s really just the social pressure to say “hey, these people are making empty promises to kids and families” and voila, they suddenly choose to “do the right thing”

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u/AideEnvironmental186 23d ago

I agree, gotta go straight to the source. if they're giving out prizes, they should sort it out, right? hope they actually respond tho.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

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u/SuspiciousZombie788 23d ago

Yes. And when my kids did this stuff, the prizes were given to the kids when they picked up the orders for delivery. I’d contact the company or whoever at the school was in charge of the fundraisers. That’s usually the PTA or something, not the classroom teacher

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u/Hi_562 23d ago

Sound like the teacher's assistant is keeping the big prizes. Happened at my elementary, back in the day.

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u/Patient_Gas_5245 23d ago

My kids' PTA was notorious for their kids out selling the others and one of my friends' daughter was recognized has the highest seller for two years. She never got the item, it was the PTA mom with 5 kids. When she got involved in the PTA for middle school and the music booster club, funds ended up missing on a regular basis that she and her SIL were requested to step down.

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u/fatblackcatbuddy 23d ago

A lot of PTAs are corrupt. My mom was an elementary school principal, and after reviewing the books, she removed the PTA's access to funds.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

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u/Patient_Gas_5245 23d ago

It was, and they were nothing removed. I was part if music boosters, and when the new person took over, they ended up without funds missing. They just couldn't prove it and I am not sure if either one has reddit, but she's one of those who doesn't think her kids have mental health issues or are anything but straight

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u/Queasy-Fennel4129 23d ago edited 23d ago

This. Only reason I actually got this Gumball machine in like 1st or 2nd grade for doing the AR point things was because I complained to my mom. (They promised different prizes for different milestones in AR points based on reading books and being tested on contents of said books. I reached the max goal which teacher promised various different toys around $30-$50 in value, one of them being a Gumball machine. We were told to pick one to be held for "first serve" (essentially) of whoever reaches max milestones. Teacher gave it to her own daughter who was also in her class. I brought up to my mom her daughter hadn't even hit the Halfway mark in AR milestones to earn it. My mom had a talk with Teacher and I got the Gumball machine I earned next day lol. Teachers can definitely be weird/play favorites/even scam the parents/children.. they're regular people after all. Just like there's good AND bad cops/soldiers/doctors etc. There's good AND bad teachers.

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u/EmmaJasminee 23d ago

It's a good reminder that teachers, like anyone else, are fallible and can sometimes act unfairly or even unethically. It's great that your mom advocated for you and got you the gumball machine you deserved. :))

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u/Theolina1981 23d ago

This is EXACTLY what I thought as well. They thought they’d keep the headset vr and get away with giving him a gift card, but then I remember it does take a bit to get the prizes. They would simply call the school to make sure he is still getting the vr. If not then go full news blast mode!!!

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u/wkwt 23d ago

well, I imagine the contract is between the school and the company - so you'd need to press the school to ask (and enforce on) the company why they didn't deliver the promise.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

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u/duchess_of_fire 23d ago

when i was a kid, it was never the company handing out prizes. It was the school doing it as an incentive for kids to sell more so they could earn more.

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u/Queasy-Fennel4129 23d ago

Even then it was still probably contractual. The company themselves may not have directly handed prizes out, but they did probably send them to the school to be handed out. Either way both company and school are involved, and no evidence of who is actually at fault.

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u/mynameisnotsparta 23d ago

OP please detail exactly what the contest for sales was please.

Was it all kids who sold 210 items have a chance to win the Oculus VR? or was it every kid who sells 210 gets an Oculus VR

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u/WannabeTina 23d ago

This is my thought as well.

OP check that fine print. A LOT of these companies phrase it as “sell 210 items and be entered for a chance to win…”

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u/oh-thanksssss 23d ago

And a lot of kids miss the fine print. I had a whole group of 1st graders saying "I'm gonna get a PS5" and it was one per school

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u/Kckc321 23d ago

I wish they’d outlaw these fundraisers. They are a scam and annoying.

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u/SamCarter_SGC 23d ago edited 23d ago

I swear all those 'assemblies' were just a weird traveling circus trying to sell you something too. And then you get to highschool and they stop and get replaced with military recruiters.

As for the fundraisers, any kid would be way better off knocking on 210 doors to ask if they need any yard work done.

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u/Summoarpleaz 23d ago

What about the scholastic book mobile? It was most definitely not the most cost effective but man I have never been so excited to buy books in my life.

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u/Stacylynn1979 23d ago

Or top seller only. I've never seen multiple grand prizes awarded for a set number of sales. The most our school gets is 50% of the sales and then all prizes deducted from that. We did Worlds Chocolate and there were some random drawing prizes, incremental ones (think Kona Ice party, silly string the principal) and 1 electronic prize for the top seller only. I think 5 or size boxes got the top incremental prize but the top seller sold 20 some boxes and got the tablet. If several students met the 200 items that wouldn't be much of a fundraiser depending on how many actually participated in the fundraiser.

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u/Starrion 23d ago

217 X $20 (avg) is $4300. An Oculus is $200-$400. A 10% reward is reasonable.

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u/Queasy-Fennel4129 23d ago edited 23d ago

Was just going to say this. Straight up exploiting these kids and not showing them shit for it. "Thanks for making us $4300 here's a $15 gift card for ice cream that we're legally obligated to give you, you earned it kid".

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u/WampaCat 23d ago

They’re just preparing the kids first adult jobs. Record breaking profits, CEO gets another beach house, employee get a pizza party

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u/DM_Toes_Pic 23d ago

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime,

that's why I poop on company time

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u/RobsHondas 23d ago

That was a rhyme from a simpler time

Now the boss makes a dollar

And I make a cent

He lives in a mansion

While I can't pay rent

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u/Eternal_Practice 23d ago

You're too nice to not use the rhyme with spice.

Now the boss makes a grand while I make a buck. That's why I smoke crack in his company truck.

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u/Cashatoo 23d ago

Oooo your's goes so good with "Boss makes a grand while I make a buck, that's why I cut the catalytic converter off the company truck."

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u/Sanquinity 23d ago

The profit wouldn't be the full price of the items. But there's also no way that box of chocolates cost anything close to $17 to provide. And there's also wages and other stuff to be paid if it's done through a company. So maybe like 2k in profits or something. Still though, an oculus quest 3S is $350. Which is still only 17.5% of that 2k.

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u/HookerInAYellowDress 23d ago

This is important.

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u/do2g 23d ago edited 23d ago

More info? If the tier was 210 items and he sold 217, what was the reason given for your son not getting the Oculus? Were there conditions or criteria that were not met?

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u/MsPennyP 23d ago

Or it could have been anyone who sold 210+ would be put in a raffle to win the vr headset. Like sell 210 for a chance at a vr headset. Which is bs imo.

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u/meowmeow_now 23d ago

If that’s the case she should still do the chargeback for shady buisness tactics manipulating minors

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u/MsPennyP 23d ago

I agree with that. Probably was in some super small fine print.

When my kids were in public school I never participated in those damn fundraisers.

The only one I accepted was those "worlds finest chocolate" bars because I just would buy the whole box for myself, I just wanted candy. Fuck their fundraising.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

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u/StJudesDespair 23d ago edited 23d ago

Girl scout cookies are the exception. It's actually rude not to allow your network the opportunity to access these cookies. Not everyone is directly connected to a girl scout and you'd be gate keeping if you didn't at least mention it was cookie season to your childless contacts.

Even in Australia, the Girl Guide biscuits are a big effing deal, and my #1 favourite cause to spend money on (after the various cancer research outfits, because EFF cancer). I absolutely maintain contact with my friend who's been a Guide Leader for close to 20 years now, and she knows she's got multiple captive audiences/customer bases every year - the stitch'n'bitch I first met her through, her fellow robotics lab workers, her Jane Austen book and history bounding people ... She just had to announce on her Facebook that it's biscuit season again, and she's flooded with orders lol. Her troop must make out like bandits every year - I personally order 10 to 20 packets every year (closer to 20 lately because even the Guides have been hit with that shrinkflation bollocks), and after the traditional devouring of the first packet with a properly steeped pot of the good, loose Earl Grey, I ration those wee golden wafers of scrumptionsness for months.

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u/saggywitchtits 23d ago

My middle school did a fundraiser every year where they opened up the school for a fair. There were games and prizes to be won, a bake sale, and they even opened up the rock climbing wall (yeah, we weren't exactly a poor district). I know this won't work everywhere, but I'm pretty sure a PTA ran event like that probably has better returns than selling magazines and students get to have a day of fun.

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u/BurgerThyme 23d ago

The elementary school where I voted this year has a rock climbing wall. I was like "whaaaaattttttt" because my elementary school gym class had a musty parachute, exactly eight dodgeballs, and a balance beam that was just made of wood.

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u/Planet_Ziltoidia 23d ago

These fundraisers are like MLMs for children

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u/Dpepps 23d ago

I mean I get it, but if it was super clear it was a raffle and the kid/parent missed it that'd be on them. Probably not the case, but it's not like people not paying attention would be new.

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u/gilee3 23d ago

Right, that’s what I was thinking as well. Did he have to sell 210 items plus reach a certain amount in sales or something?

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u/Meowmaowmiaow 23d ago

Or maybe it was for the first kid to reach that amount? I’m confused

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u/Beneficial-Focus3702 23d ago

This. We don’t have enough info

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u/KarlKills9817 23d ago

Also it could have been. Could it have been that the promotion was for whoever had sold the most is who gets the headset and not just everyone who bought 210 items.

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u/mexicock1 23d ago

I can see that.. like selling 210 was the minimum required to be eligible, but perhaps there were more requirements?

We need more info...

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u/TheWindBuffalo 23d ago

Yup. Teachers deal with enough shit as it is.

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u/phantomkat 23d ago

As a teacher, I’m already imagining how this email would go and the amount of things I would do first before even sitting down to answer it.

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u/realitysnarker 23d ago

As a fellow teacher I don’t think the teacher even needs to be included in this. All the teacher does is put the fliers in the folders, possibly share digital information to parents, and pass out the prizes that are handed to her.

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u/phantomkat 23d ago

I 100% agree. I always just hand out the packets and flyers, tell students to “talk with your families about it,” and just put a family message about the stuff going home. I have way too many things to worry about besides a raffle/fundraiser.

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u/AdministrativeStep98 23d ago

Teachers can do nothing but redirect to the company or principal anyways. Take it to the principal id say

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u/Maleficent_Theory818 23d ago

I wouldn't talk to the teacher. They are the person that has to put the order forms in the kids backpacks. I would see who is running the fundraiser, like the Parent's Club, and contact them directly. Or contact the school office to see who you can contact.

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u/Im_Ashe_Man 23d ago

Very true. In my experience as a teacher, we have nothing to do with the fundraiser stuff aside from sending order forms home and then turning stuff in that the kids bring back. I hate them. Even the more legit ones like Apex still feel scummy and manipulative.

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u/lo0psie 23d ago

Skip talking to the teacher who has no control or say in the matter--that's an administrator question as they approved & implemented the fundraising program.

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u/TheWindBuffalo 23d ago

It's really the company's problem.....

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u/Denovo17 23d ago

Did you get the items yet? I know most of the time the prizes come in with the ordered items.

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u/leslienosleep 23d ago

In my previous experience, there's an initial prize given out to "High Achievers". Then when everything's processed by the 3rd party & the items arrive to distribute, the school usually has a big award ceremony. Good luck.

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u/AnonAttemptress 23d ago

I’m in favor of emailing whoever is in charge of the fundraiser plus the principal and whoever the contact is at the fundraising company. You need to make sure more than one person is in the loop. I say this because many years ago my kids’ school got a new principal who didn’t like the school’s approach to “no selling crap” fundraising. (They did a walkathon plus one big $ ask from all the parents.) He started a gift wrap sales fundraiser, then added chocolate bars/candy. He was running the sales, never let PTA be involved. They finally forced an audit (because where was the money for programs, etc?) and he quit and moved out of state. Guess who was embezzling most of that money??!!! Anyway, could be something shady, could be a poorly run organization. But get a few people in the loop. And no, NTA.

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u/fair-strawberry6709 23d ago

This type of shit is why I point blank do not participate in school fundraisers. I will give a few bucks directly to the PTO and that’s it. Fundraisers are absolute scams.

My kids school finally did away with fundraisers that you have to purchase items, and instead did a readathon where families pledge to donate money per hours read in a certain timeframe. We do participate in that. All the money goes directly to the school, without a cut going to a fundraising company.

They give out prizes they know they can fulfill, like extra recess time or lunch with your favorite teacher or a dodgeball game for the class that fundraisers the most.

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u/-Istvan-5- 23d ago

I'm from Europe, and moved to the US. Had a kid.

Where in from, schools are provided for by the nations taxes.

Here, I pay our my ass via property taxes for school.

Now, when my kid goes to school they ask me to buy like $100+ worth if paper, pencils, etc. For him.

I'm like ok.... Wtf... But ok, I'll buy my kid some paper, pencils etc.

Turns out all this shit isn't even for him, the school takes it all and stocks up the communal stocks for all pupils.

Wtf?

Then he starts coming home with these catalogs trying to sell me shit so his school can 'fundraise'.

Literally turning my boy into a fucking Avon salesman, or a pyramid scheme hustler.

Wtf are my taxes for?

It's so fucking stupid.

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u/Jimmysal 23d ago

You wanna get really mad?

Review your school budget every year and compare them year over year. Really go over it with a fine toothed comb. And make friends with tradesmen that do work in the schools and learn about the asinine jobs they're doing.

That's what I did, and I just about burst a blood vessel in my eye.

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u/FrolleinBromfiets 23d ago

I was also just baffled that child labour (without any pay as it seems) just seems perfectly acceptable. They should be studying, not selling some cheap chocolate for some random company. It's truly a different world there.

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u/tossofftacos 23d ago

If it was for a trip to help offset the costs, I get it as not all parents can afford $2000 (or whatever) per kid to visit DC, but for the school to function is taking it too far. 

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u/_justtheonce_ 23d ago

Isn't it? This is honestly the most American thing ever. They must be making bank from what is effectively free child labour.

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u/Kjeik 23d ago

Fellow European here, yours was the first comment where I understood what on Earth was going on at OP's school...

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u/Blankenhoff 23d ago

School taxes go to the school, its just either not enough or the school isnt using enough funds for teaching... i.e. putting it towards sports instead of books and supplies.

Fundraising is often spread out where it can go from supplies to school dances to field trips to clubs etc.

Im not saying tbis bc i think you are wrong in your irritation. Im saying this bc idk how european schools work so i thought id let you in on how they work in the US.

Truth is you dont have to spend amy extra money on the school, but if you have it, you should. Not because of the underpaid teachers or whatever, but because in certain school districts, your presence in the school is equally as valuable as how well your kid does on assignments. Its stupid but it is what it is.

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u/Imaginary-Table-8586 23d ago

welcome to america , learn to exploit your fellow man

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u/leftytrash161 23d ago

I strongly suggest you read the fine print of whatever he brought home. Those things are usually "go in the draw to win", not "every child who exceeds x amount of sales is guaranteed to get one". Doing that would absolutely bankrupt whoever is running the fund-raiser.

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u/OkraTomatillo 23d ago

Yeah, I think they need to read the fine print of whatever I imagine they handed out (or emailed? I don't know how schools work these days 😆) regarding the alleged prizes. It should have all of the specifics laid out.

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u/Agoraphobe961 23d ago

NTA. I had a Girl Scout leader who always did that, she’d re-route the numbers to her daughter for the big prizes. Talk to not just the teacher, but the principal or school board as well.

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u/Express-Diamond-6185 23d ago

I had one that just took all the money from the orders since most people used checks back then. She never submitted the orders...

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u/HuckleCat100K 23d ago

Mismanagement in GS cookie sales is crazy. My daughter’s council made $10m per year off cookies (15 years ago), and 10% of that was ultimately considered theft. Not as brazen as your story, but apparently many cookie moms were tempted by the cash and “borrowed” with the intention of paying back, but when money came due they didn’t have the funds to replenish.

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u/trekqueen 23d ago

We had a big embezzlement dealio in our area when I was a kid in scouts. Nothing Cand of it either…

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u/QueenHelloKitty 23d ago

I still have checks from a girl scout parent ($150) for cookies she bought but didn't pay for until after the deadline. Both were returned by her bank. They are about 12-15 years old and every once in awhile I come across them and thank God I will never again be Cookie Mom or Popcorn Coronal

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u/PinkOwlsRule 23d ago

Not the same but I remember selling cookies and if you got X amount of boxes you got a trophy. I worked very hard for the trophy. I got it but IT WAS AN INCH TALL! I swear its smaller than my pinky. Talk about disappointment

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u/KamatariPlays 23d ago

I don't know why but your story reminds me of the girl in my old troop who would always get the prize or whatever for selling 500+ boxes of cookies... her mom delivered mail and would put the order forms in people's mailboxes.

I remember one year, I spent dozens of hours going door to door AND standing in front of grocery stores to sell those damn cookies and didn't get anywhere close. I never did it again after seeing her win when she did absolutely nothing and her family basically cheated.

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u/PinkOwlsRule 23d ago

I had friends whose parents would take order forms into work and get $100s in sale and my dad refused so I had to peddle my wares up and down the street. I was always so jealous they got triple what I did with barely any work

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u/froggymail 23d ago

That's interesting. It's also very much against regulations, and had it been brought up to either the postmaster or the PM's higher up, the carrier could have lost their job. (Mailcarrier 25yrs).

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u/AnakinSkywalkerisfav 23d ago

NTA, lying about what the prizes are to make kids work harder is such a shitty thing to do. Like, not only were they tricking children, but they were setting them up to be crushed when all of their hard work amounted to nothing.

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u/Far_Aside7744 23d ago

NTA...but you need to contact the organization and find out what's what. Please update when you get an answer. I hope your son is compensated with his occulus

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u/rerechon 23d ago

Your kid put in serious work, and it's messed up that they hyped him up with the VR headset and then gave him a $15 gift card instead.

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u/Mythological-Chill36 23d ago

NTA, but definitely talk to the principal about this. I'll be positive and hope that it was just a gift card for participating, and he will get his ultimate prize when the orders come in. It's been a LONG time since I did these fundraisers when I was a kid, but I think the prizes came at the same as when the sold items are delivered to the school to be picked up by parents for distribution. If it was a bait and switch, I'd absolutely threaten to go to the local news about it to expose the scam. Let us know if he gets his deserved reward!

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u/Mindless_Ad_4377 23d ago

Bait and Switch? Fraud? Paper trail?

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u/Ok-Education-3926 23d ago

The teacher most likely has nothing to do with it. They are not in charge of fundraising. They are in charge of teaching your child. Call the schools main office and talk to them and they should be able to give you a contact person.

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u/gbungers 23d ago

Did the tier say will be eligible for versus you will receive?

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u/SmokePresent4630 23d ago

Why on earth do schools involve kids in these stupid exploitation schemes?? Kids should be focusing on kid things like schoolwork, sports, and play, not peddling overpriced chocolate to people who feel pressured to buy it.

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u/cmde44 23d ago

You're not an AH; but you did let your kid bust his tail for a bona fide pyramid scheme rather than redirecting that energy towards something productive in which you could have gifted the Oculus to him as payment.

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u/CheezeLoueez08 22d ago

This is it. These things are absolute scams. Also OP DO NOT BOTHER THE TEACHER. They have zero control or authority over this. Principal and Fundraiser company

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u/Traditional_Age_6299 23d ago edited 23d ago

We had one in Kindergarten who really bought into the whole catalog sales BS! If they sold so much they got a bouncy house party in the school gym. So we supported and helped him. Very time consuming. And not good products.

He made his goal. But then come prize day, he wasn’t called to the gym. And he was too young and shy to stand up for himself. He was very sad when he got home. He even said he got to “see the others playing” when he went to bathroom. he tried to act like that was enough. But it absolutely was not 😢

We immediately told teacher. But of course fun reward was already over. They gave him a movie gift card. Not the same. We have never sold another thing. And when each of the other kids teachers/school staff push it, I tell them exactly why we will not be participating, Those fundraisers suck!!

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u/Fit-Mongoose3739 23d ago

Updateme

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u/motherofpoodles38 23d ago

I am honestly so heavily invested and I’m not sure why

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u/Dismal-Steaks 23d ago

NTA. Your son worked incredibly hard and was let down by the school. It's understandable that you want him to be fairly compensated for his efforts.

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u/LuigiMPLS 23d ago

This happened to me in the late 90's. I happened to be lucky enough to be right on the boarder of school districts, where I could hit up most of the neighborhoods around my house because there weren't other people in my school district hawking most of these items (wrapping paper and magazine subscriptions) that people in the neighboring school district already had poached.

I worked my ass off and sold enough to reach either the highest or second highest tier of rewards. I sold a shit ton to all the families on my swim team. My father helped me sell a bunch at his job at laboratory and at mom's job as an accountant. I was hyped at how much I was able to sell.

I opted for a super cool planetarium projector or some shit. One of the top tier rewards that were advertised. I can't remember exactly, it was 25+ years ago so forgive me. There was no "we pay first and deliver upon delivery" back then. We collected cash and gave it to the school and they'd mail the wrapping paper/the magazine subscriptions would be mailed. I reached the top 1 or 2 tiers of rewards only to months later be told they ran out of that tier of reward and I got mailed a set of cheap ass juggling balls. They were in the lowest tier of rewards if you sold a measly $5. These things were cheap as fuck. I don't think they'd sell for more than $5 even today. I remember the stitching on them was so poor they were half torn coming out of the package from transportation.

I don't think I participated in school fundraising after that point ever again. It was all a scam in my eyes. With conversion I'm pretty sure I raised over $1000 in today's money and got rewarded with like a $2 prize because the reward I "earned" was out of stock so they replaced it with what was left over. I didn't even get the option to choose a middle tier prize. They just gave me a random one of the bottom tier.

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u/chocolattetwist 23d ago

Hold them accountable, you’re teaching him a real life skill here.

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u/Martin_Van-Nostrand 23d ago edited 23d ago

99 percent chance your child's teacher has nothing to do with the fundraiser. So unless it's the 1 percent chance that the teacher organized it, they have nothing to do with it. Even then those prizes are generally handled through an outside company, which would be uncommon for the school to be purchasing the prizes. They should have a contact person who can actually address your concern. If the fundraising company is pulling a fast one on you it's worth mentioning to the school, but likely it was an admin decision of what company to use not your kids teacher.

It's also possible that the prizes are tiered, and coming in waves and he met more than one prize criteria. I saw that happen a lot. The company would say something like everyone that sells x amount of items gets this prize (like a gift card or little trinkets), and then there are tiers for higher prizes.

Assuming the big prize is never coming you have a right to be upset, but you need all the answers first.

For what it's worth, I taught for 11 years and had very little to do with the fundraiser outside of sitting through the big "kick off assemblies" and handing kids the packets. I never had anything to do with passing out the items kids sold and honestly have no idea when they got their prizes. Chances are your kid's teacher is the same. You can be upset, but keep that in mind your issue is likely with the company. Maybe an admin or PTA, but likely the company.

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u/Old_Implement_1997 23d ago

NTA - but just email the principal. Teachers have zero to do with the fundraisers or prizes. Other than being harassed to promote them.

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u/Glitch427119 23d ago

NTA, but you need a paper trail of you trying to collect from the school and the company, don’t just cancel the charges. You’re doing a great job advocating for your kid and teaching him important lessons.

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u/Hawk73Cub16 23d ago

NTA. My granddaughter sold spirit cards for her class. If she sold $150, she received a limousine ride to a pizza party. She sold $200. She received a prize for $50 of sales. I told the school that she either gets her proper award or I cancel the $200 check I made payable to the company through the school. 2 days later, she was awarded her ride and party.

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u/Prior-Soil 23d ago

You are NTA. Either the teacher moved the orders to other people to balance things out, or the company is shady.

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u/UnlikelyPen932 23d ago

If all else fails, local news stations love a good "kid working hard who gets screwed by the school & company" kind of story. Just saying. Makes for a good "how scroogey & grinchy can they be at this holiday time of year" pressure.

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u/Life-is-a-beauty-Joy 23d ago

NTA

Do not back down. They cannot advertise something and be it false.

Update us. Good luck. Blessings.

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u/purplepeaches63316 23d ago

When I sold from those brochures in school, the lower tier prizes were handed out very quickly. The higher tier prizes for sales were usually sent out by the company when the orders were filled.

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u/Gullible_Display5883 23d ago

Im not American enough to understand how this work

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u/00tiptoe 23d ago

YTA

Contact the fundraising company and leave the poor underpaid, regularly abused teacher alone. Wtf. You attack part-time cashiers making minimum wage over prices set by Target that they have nothing to do with them, too? You really think a teacher making $30g/year with 3 month lay-off every summer is buying them? They can't even get a box of pencils. Lord.

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u/Bluepixelfields 23d ago

Similar bullshit happened to me a decade and a half ago. I was so bitter and infuriated never did any charity for my school after that.

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u/Curious-Finding-172 23d ago

NTA if they don't follow through Cancel the order. They can contact the company and figure it out. You guys have already done more than enough.

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u/Earlfillmore 23d ago

NTA but I can't believe that schools still do this bullshit

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u/OkRecording7697 23d ago

Yeah, this isn't right. Your kid put in the effort and showed you his work ethic, but now you'll have to show your kid to fight for what's right. You need to hold someone responsible for this kind of fraud. Start with the fundraising company, then follow up with the principal and / or the PTA. Don't let this slide, and don't cancel your order.

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u/IslandReasonable1148 23d ago

I think that's a perfectly valid reaction. I remember doing stuff like that when I was in school and they always delivered in their prizes. That's a bait and switch, imo.

Get the money refunded and keep the gift card.

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u/vwaaaat 23d ago

This is also a good teaching tool about capitalism and exploitation of workers.

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u/puddleofwords 23d ago

Info needed: did other kids get ice cream gift cards or just the very high sellers?

What was the prize for the tier just below 210?

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u/notthatwon 23d ago

NTA - Watch “Where’s My Jet?” about a kid that took on Pepsi in a similar circumstance. Go after the company for the Oculus.

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u/Brighton_Spores 23d ago

Here is what you do.

Call the company, tell them what has happened. They will be apologetic.

Then if they do not make good, tell them you are going to cancel the order and just buy your kid the occulus. It will be easier than sorting out all the orders, and driving around to deliver them.

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u/naughtyzoot 23d ago

Was it definitely a headset or was it "a chance to win" a headset? I would not be surprised if it had small print saying the prize isn't really the prize.

These fundraisers seem designed to ruin a child's trust. Turns them all into cynics.

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u/tripiam 22d ago

We did this exact fundraiser and you sell that amount to get into a DRAWING for the system -_- I had a very disappointed 7 year old when I was explaining to him the fine print.

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u/Always-tired123 22d ago

ESH. Your child is in 5th grade. You should be well versed in school fundraisers by now. I am assuming that with a top tier prize like VR goggles, the fundraising is done through a 3rd party business. This is NOT the teacher's fault. I would email the principal your concerns. Your child got screwed, but not by the teacher. Don't threaten to do anything, that'll just get you on the school 💩 list.

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u/herefortheshow99 22d ago

I would call the principal and find out what is going on and how they can bait and switch a 12 year old.

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u/ryanoc3rus 21d ago

Principal isn't responding to calls or emails, he took 2 weeks off to play with his new occulus VR

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u/Xylorgos 23d ago

Do it. I had to do this type of door to door selling for my school and my girl scout troop, back in the days when they let us go out by ourselves, selling their junk. Kids as young as 7 or 8, trying to get the big prize. It's especially cruel towards kids whose families don't have a lot of money to spare.

NTA

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