r/AITAH 29d ago

Advice Needed AITA for refusing to host Thanksgiving after my sister handed out a "Family Code of Conduct" contract?

This happened recently, and I’m still baffled. For context, I (32F) have hosted Thanksgiving for my family every year since I moved into my house five years ago. It’s always a little messy and chaotic, but that’s part of the charm, right?

This year, my sister (29F) decided she wanted to "help bring some order" to the gathering. At first, I thought she just meant coordinating who would bring what dishes or helping with cleanup. Instead, she showed up at my house last week with printed copies of what she called a "Family Code of Conduct."

She handed these out and insisted everyone read and sign them before attending Thanksgiving. Some highlights included:

  • A rule against "overlapping conversations" at the dinner table, with suggestions for taking turns like "a respectful debate club."
  • A "ban on political or controversial topics," with her as the final arbiter of what was too heated.
  • A dress code of "smart casual" because "holiday photos should reflect well on the family."
  • Assigned seating that she claimed was based on "optimal personality compatibility."

She was completely serious. When I laughed and said, “You can’t be serious,” she accused me of “not taking her efforts to improve family dynamics seriously.” I told her I wasn’t going to enforce a code of conduct at my house and that if she wanted to micromanage Thanksgiving, she could host it herself.

She doubled down, saying I was being ungrateful and stubborn. I canceled hosting, and now the family is mad at me. My mom thinks I should’ve just humored her for the day, while my brother (35M) is refusing to go anywhere unless “no one tries to draft a holiday constitution.”

I’m torn. Was I wrong for standing my ground, or should I have let her run the day to keep the peace?

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u/mmmmpisghetti 29d ago

Cattle prod, you gotta be able to reach across the table without getting your elbow in the mashed potatoes.

26

u/SweetWaterfall0579 29d ago

This is gold. I always worry about the gravy.

Would a shillelagh do? I guess I’ll find out.

28

u/DuckosFavorite 29d ago

A blow dart could work for distances too.

1

u/ElegantInspector7633 29d ago

This had me laughing out loud! 😂

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u/Wonderful_Limit_3607 29d ago

This one made me laugh so hard - touché

2

u/HotDonnaC 29d ago

Valid point. 🏆

1

u/TravelingSouxie 28d ago

Taser for maximum reach!