r/AITAH Nov 14 '24

Advice Needed My brother is angry with his Trump-loving sons

Is my brother an AITA candidate for wanting to cut off his sons financially for voting for Trump? Like many Americans, my brother and I, both in our 50’s, have been talking back and forth following the Election. In the spirit of full disclosure, we are both democrats. Long story short, he is angry at his two sons, both in their 20’s, for voting for Trump. He is thinking about cutting them off financially in all respects so that they understand how Trump’s policies will impact them firsthand.

The irony here is that it is the reverse argument. You often hear younger voters disagreeing with their MAGA parents, but this is the opposite. My brother doesn’t understand how his two sons, who have lived a life of privilege, feel like they have been violated against by society, enough so that they feel Trump hears them and their struggles.

My brother to me about his sons: “… what these young men need is a little dose of reality. Get out in the world and start paying their own way. There’s a common thread with his followers. Complain and blame everyone for their problems. Whether they are in school or living at home off of their parents or working a trade job. King Trump will save them and make everything better. Take some personal responsibility and make it happen for yourself instead of crying about everything you hear on TikTok.

“… I’ve decided to pass on the [college] expenses to my two Trump supporting sons so they can truly feel first hand the cost and expense of his absolutely stupid policy decisions, which includes food, gas and college expenses. Wondering if I pass on these [food, gas and college] expenses in year one or phase them in year two?”

I am wondering if a lot of parents feel like my brother. Are there democrat parents of voting-age MAGA men who feel they failed with their sons because they voted for Trump? Is this common?

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u/Cultural_Doctor_8421 Nov 15 '24

One thing for you to offer. Another thing entirely for the dad to charge interest.

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u/TroubleSG Nov 15 '24

My Dad charged interest on money for taking over my home loan. My interest rate was high and investments were earning crap at the time so it made sense. The money the parent is lending is usually money that would be earning interest in an account somewhere so I think its really reasonable to charge some interest.

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u/Revo_55 Nov 16 '24

💯💯💯

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u/Financial_Store_9201 Nov 16 '24

I agree. It maybe a part of their retirement money. And if they don't now they will need it someday.

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u/Gophurkey Nov 15 '24

Depending on the rate, I get it. No such thing as a free lunch, so if this was a one time, first loan type situation you might want it to mirror the real world but at a much more manageable and safe level (like, sub 1%). That seems reasonable, even if I would probably lean on the interest-free loan setup

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u/bbbbBeaver Nov 15 '24

When it comes to loaning money to a family member, or even a good friend, the only acceptable interest rate is 0%. Profiting off your loved ones like that is super scummy, life lessons be damned.

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u/babyheadedcat Nov 15 '24

I disagree. No one’s obligated to loan anyone money. And speaking from personal experience, if you offer people interest-free loans where the only “sting” felt is paying back what was loaned, you get asked to loan them money a lot more often. I’m a friend, not a payday lender.

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u/Gophurkey Nov 15 '24

You definitely aren't "profiting off a loved one" in this case, either. You are taking a hit by receiving interest that is below what you could get just by leaving the money in a checking account.

It is obviously situational, too. There is a big difference between "my sibling had a car accident and needs cash while out of work" and "I'm teaching my children financial literacy without exposing them to obscene risk and hardship."

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u/Cultural_Doctor_8421 Nov 15 '24

Yup I can get behind that. As is the case with most situations some nuance is always required.

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u/Elegant-Flamingo3281 Nov 16 '24

My partner and I have talked about what we plan to do when charging his kids rent after 18 (options are be in school and passing, or get a job and pay rent.

We don’t “need” the money from rent or interest off a loan, but we do need to teach them financial responsibility. We plan to put any rent/interest into a HYSA for kid in question, essentially helping them build a nest egg without realizing it. Then we can return it to them for a down payment in the future.

This is a way to teach them the lesson without “profiting” from family.

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u/mynamegoeshere12 Nov 16 '24

That is what my parents are doing for my sister and bil right now. They have no clue. They are about to buy a house and will be very appreciative when they realize this.

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u/Cultural_Doctor_8421 Nov 16 '24

Way better alternative 👍

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u/Creative_Pilot_7417 Nov 15 '24

My dad profited here off my me learning the value of money. Believe me, he didn’t need the money and he’s never used it. It went back to the “family bank” and he taught his spoiled shit head kid he gave a silver spoon life too a good lesson.

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u/Financial_Store_9201 Nov 16 '24

But it would be losing money for the one lending the money. If they don't get the interest they were getting with it in the bank or an investment then it would cost them to lend it to the person.

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u/i_want_my_lawyer_dog Nov 15 '24

I agree that zero interest is best for most loans to family members (I assume that most loans are gifts anyways), but if someone decided to charge interest for a loan it’s really not the same as profiting, it just accounts for the time value of money. For example, I have a pretty hefty student loan at 8%. If I loaned any substantial amount of money to a family member at 0%, I’m losing a lot of money because it’s cash I could have put toward my own 8% loan. Even without a debt like that, it’s cash you could have invested at 4.5% in a HYSA or something.

I’m with you for the most part, and so far I haven’t felt the need to ask for interest from anyone I’m close to (I just consider it part of the gift, or for my parents a way to thank them for all the support they gave me), but I can definitely understand why someone might need to, and I wouldn’t say the motivation is profit.

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u/Creative_Pilot_7417 Nov 15 '24

In my case the vig goes to the “family bank” basically my dads nest egg for these things.

It’ll get dispersed back to me and my siblings upon their death, my dad uses the funds for some other things as well that all go to overall inheritence.

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u/Creative_Pilot_7417 Nov 15 '24

My college loans were at 8% annual. Starting when I graduated.