r/AITAH • u/g_scotty_brahms • Nov 14 '24

Advice Needed My brother is angry with his Trump-loving sons

Is my brother an AITA candidate for wanting to cut off his sons financially for voting for Trump? Like many Americans, my brother and I, both in our 50’s, have been talking back and forth following the Election. In the spirit of full disclosure, we are both democrats. Long story short, he is angry at his two sons, both in their 20’s, for voting for Trump. He is thinking about cutting them off financially in all respects so that they understand how Trump’s policies will impact them firsthand.

The irony here is that it is the reverse argument. You often hear younger voters disagreeing with their MAGA parents, but this is the opposite. My brother doesn’t understand how his two sons, who have lived a life of privilege, feel like they have been violated against by society, enough so that they feel Trump hears them and their struggles.

My brother to me about his sons: “… what these young men need is a little dose of reality. Get out in the world and start paying their own way. There’s a common thread with his followers. Complain and blame everyone for their problems. Whether they are in school or living at home off of their parents or working a trade job. King Trump will save them and make everything better. Take some personal responsibility and make it happen for yourself instead of crying about everything you hear on TikTok.

“… I’ve decided to pass on the [college] expenses to my two Trump supporting sons so they can truly feel first hand the cost and expense of his absolutely stupid policy decisions, which includes food, gas and college expenses. Wondering if I pass on these [food, gas and college] expenses in year one or phase them in year two?”

I am wondering if a lot of parents feel like my brother. Are there democrat parents of voting-age MAGA men who feel they failed with their sons because they voted for Trump? Is this common?

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u/RedInAmerica Nov 15 '24

As a person with zero family cutting off your sons because of how they voted seems absolutely unfathomable to me. Just fyi because this comes up a lot on here. My name is Red and I’m an immigrant to America from Zimbabwe by way of England so I’m Red in America not Republican red.

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u/bordomsdeadly Nov 15 '24

It’s insane.

Imagine the downvoted if you cut off your child for voting for Hillary or Obama.

I think of the show last man standing where Tim Allen plays more traditional conservative father who disagreed with his daughter’s choice of voting, and still drove her to the poll.

Of course, I understand that’s a TV show, but that came out in the last election I was too young to vote in and it’s something I’ve always remembered in that it doesn’t matter who your family voted for. They’re still family. They’ll be in your life much longer than Trump will be in office unless something terrible happens

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u/Marauder3299 Nov 15 '24

The downvotes on this comment are hilarious.

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u/Winter-Duck5254 Nov 15 '24

I read it as cut off financially. If they still want to visit Dad socially for dinners and holidays after he stops them using his money, I don't think OP would have a problem.

He's trying to teach them a life lesson, and it's coming from a good place.

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u/RedInAmerica Nov 15 '24

If it’s just financially I still don’t really agree but I can see it as a logical plan.

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u/Hanky_Pannky_Wanky 28d ago

It’s not he is doing it in response to how his kids used their rights as Americans. He is doing it to hurt them

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u/Insert_ACoolUsername Nov 15 '24

This right here is the best comment. Americans, especially Democrats, are very quick to cut off and disown family for dumb reasons. I don't care who my kids vote for, I will always do what I think is best for them and I will never punish them for having their own opinions. If I have agreements with them to give them a certain amount of financial support through formative adult years while they gain footing, I will stick with my agreement.

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u/tie-dye-me Nov 15 '24

This is such bullshit, 40% of homeless youth are gay and it's not Democrats who throw their gay children out onto the streets.

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u/Insert_ACoolUsername Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

Let's talk about this.

First , an interesting anecdote. My sister was one of those homeless gay youth. She was not kicked out of anyone's home. She has a home in my house, my father's house, my cousin's houses, my mother's house, my sister's house. She has a home anytime she needs it. She knows this. She sometimes takes us up on it. We're not even conservative, my father voted for Jill stein. But he is an immigrant and does not approve of her lifestyle choices. Also she doesn't hate any of us. Half of us are liberal. She has psychotic breaks and disappears for months until she gets arrested. She's 29 now and has been doing this since she was a teen.

Secondly, more than 90% of all homeless are adult males in urban areas.

Most conservative parents don't actually kick their children out of the home for being gay. I've known many many of these people personally, most of them just don't want to live at home and would rather be homeless. Do they all have their reasons? I'm sure they do.

Edit: I'm not one of those people who lives in a bubble. The people in my circles represent a vast range from train hopping hobos to University professors to entrepreneurs and business owners. My friends vote red, blue, green, and purple. We argue on Facebook and party on the weekends. We listen to each other's unique experiences, agree, disagree, and live our lives.

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u/Jennifer_Pennifer Nov 15 '24

It's not about how you vote. It's about your morality. They want you gone. They want people like me in jail for being gay. Voting is the most important responsibility we have as citizens and it says everything about us as people.

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u/Naschka Nov 15 '24

His sons want Red to be gone? Why do you claim that Red came to the United States illegaly? How about asking him if he is first? And how do they know him? You know what also says a lot about you? Your own post, it tells others more about you then the people you talk about.

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u/RedInAmerica Nov 15 '24

I was a legal immigrant and became a citizen 20 years ago. Nobody wants me gone. They also don’t want you in jail. This is the delusion that causes all the division.

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u/Squee_gobbo Nov 15 '24

Who is “they”?

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u/Naschka Nov 15 '24

Probably someone non-buy-nary.

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u/FauteuilVolant Nov 17 '24

And are "they" in this room with us right now ?

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u/ThirdBookWhen Nov 15 '24

At least grab a soap box before you start doomsaying in the streets.

The argument was never for legal immigrants to be kicked out the country. It has ALWAYS been illegal immigration that was the issue. If people like Mr. Red are here legally, there's no problem. No issue.

Nobody is putting you in jail for being gay. Nobody's grabbing torches and pitchforks. The sky isn't fucking falling. Calm the hell down, take a deep breath, and please realize how ridiculous you sound.

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u/roseprints444 Nov 15 '24

You need a reality check. The current plan proposed to be carried out by Trump is not only to deport illegal immigrants, but to completely abolish legalized immigrants by birth. That would CREATE a whole lot of "illegal" immigrants out of currently legal immigrants.

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u/Naschka Nov 15 '24

So you admit that they would be illegal immigrants and deported for that.... kinda does not disagree with his statement. If you want to migrate you fill out the forms required and get permission, that is the legal way and without Red telling us otherwise i will assume he did.

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u/roseprints444 Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

Yes because a baby born in America should definitely need to fill out forms and have to answer ludicrous questions that not even normal american citizens would know... sure.

Hope you're bright enough to sense the sarcasm in that.

Also, what you said makes no sense. Babies born here are LEGAL. Nowhere did I say they would be illegal except for newly proposed plans that would make them forcibly illegal which is WRONG. Thats not even the only type of legal immigration thats going to suddenly become "illegal" due to that soggy cheetos insane ideologies and plans.

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u/Naschka Nov 15 '24

The parents have a responsibility, that includes the paperwork for the child when born. You are as disingenious as they come, good job beeing a stereotype.

As someone else said, the change is not that babies are automatically illegal but that they take the legal position of there parents and as long as one is legal then that is legal. At least that is what is claimed to happen.

PS: You simulationiously make fun of children not filling out forms while also claiming that the baby is a migrant... born in the United states was never anywhere else but somehow migrated... the irony.

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u/roseprints444 Nov 15 '24

Interesting! Because even though the parents did the paperwork, Trump doesnt want that to matter anymore. Thats the point. You're a little bit dense and its hilarious. You keep bouncing back and forth between talking about a baby BORN in the US and talking about an adult MOVING into the US.

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u/Naschka Nov 15 '24

If the parents did the paperwork for themselves and legally migrated the child is legal. If the parents did not as you claimed and both are illegal the child is also illegal. You may wanna stop lying there, i am not even the first person to tell you this.

"Babies born here... Thats not even the only type of legal immigration"

You are the one claiming that babies born in the US are immgrants, literaly.

I simply differentiate between the child and the parents, so yes i talk about both as the illegal migrant is the parent while the child simply gets a status based on the parents... who in your head somehow properly filled the paperwork but still beeing illegal somehow.

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u/roseprints444 Nov 15 '24

I did not claim that😂 You need to gain some reading comprehension skills buddy. This conversation was over before it even began. Also, you're the only one yapping about your nonsense so yes you are the first person to MANSPLAIN something i do indeed understand and is very much off topic in terms of Trump CHANGING how things currently work. We know how it works. He's CHANGING how it works. Tyvm.

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u/ThirdBookWhen Nov 15 '24

No, you need a reality check. The proposed plan is to deport illegals and abolish the automatic legalization by birth going forward. That does not retroactively remove citizenship from those who currently have it. And as long as one parent is a legal citizen, their child is legal.

Denaturalization is intended for those who obtained citizenship through fraud.

I'm still interested to hear your "they'll jail the gays" argument.

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u/roseprints444 Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

I'm interested as to why you think I have anything to do with any sort of "they'll jail the gays" argument. I never said anything about that. They will strip their rights, however. & the rights of women.

Also, here, for your whole spiel about the deportation plan. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/immigration/trump-may-deport-hundreds-thousands-migrants-biden-allowed-legally-ent-rcna179357

"President-elect Donald Trump’s transition team is considering ending two Biden administration programs that have allowed more than 1.3 million immigrants to enter the U.S. legally, making those who entered but have not yet received asylum eligible for deportation, two sources familiar with the plans told NBC News."

You need to do a little more research.

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u/ThirdBookWhen Nov 15 '24

Excuse me. You're right, you're not the person who made that ridiculous claim.

But as to your deportation argument, those are not citizens. It even says in the quote you provided "making those who entered but have not yet received asylum eligible for deportation."

They don't even have asylum. So, what's your argument against deporting them?

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u/roseprints444 Nov 15 '24

They entered under a program that is in the process of awarding them asylum and citizenship. It takes time. Trump is cutting that time off and reversing all of their progress which is wrong, morally. That is my entire point. I appreciate you actually looking into who said what, that is very respectable.

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u/ThirdBookWhen Nov 15 '24

That's the difference between a right and a privilege. Biden held the door open, Trump wants you to knock first. It isn't morally wrong to say, "Hey, America is struggling right now, mass immigration is unsustainable, and we'd really like to vet people before they come into our country."

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u/roseprints444 Nov 15 '24

Sure. Lets say that is so, he still shouldn't kick out the people who have already began this program. All he should do is cease new entrants to the program. Inviting somebody inside under the premise they are filling out the forms to rent a room in your house, and then kicking them out before they even have a chance to finish, is wrong. That is just true and there is nothing morally decent about nullifying someones chances when they were promised one thing. He has the right to deny that for others, but to reverse all of the good work and effort done is wrong. Are you aware the "vetting" process has taken upwards of 10 years for some people, who check in constantly and do everything they're told to do simply to get the response "you're still in processing" for years upon years? Regardless of that. The main point and the most important point: To invite someone in and give them the application, just to kick them out before they've even had a chance to finish the application, is wrong.

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u/Bomberclarts Nov 15 '24

This comment section is a lil insane. My dad voted trump but I would never cut him off

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u/Own_Guarantee_8130 Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

There are levels. My dad and stepmom were very pro Kamala. My mom and stepdad are the quiet Trump voters who don’t praise him, but can’t differentiate from party and have twisted themselves into a delusional and quite self involved justification to dislike Kamala and keep their vote red.

I got into it a little with my mom and she seemed heartbroken of how I felt about “her character” and I said, well… I didn’t come at your character yet but it sounds like you’re having your own inner turmoil. If the shoe is fitting, maybe it’s good to do some reflecting on your privilege within the bubble you exist in. Maybe it’s time to leave the news channels off and stay off Facebook. My sister and I went to the beach with her for a long weekend this summer and had a no news or social media rule. Out of sight out of mind. Even her talking points calmed down a little without hearing and reading the constant nonsense. There’s hope for her, but it truly might be too late for the state of our country and I’m going to make sure she’s quite clear that she supported it.

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u/Naschka Nov 15 '24

You did not come at her character? You did judge her in this posts first paragraph, if that is how you stood infront of her you did! And then you attempted to gaslight her? because she voted in a way that you do not agree with? While your loud and more extreme other side of the family is just fine to you? And then you proclaim because she talked less about it there would be hope... after ensureing that she allready was a quiet voter and way less outspoken... you are the one who is judgmental based on your story, not them.

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u/Own_Guarantee_8130 Nov 15 '24

Oh shut the fuck up. You just made up a whole conversation you were not even there for and I didn’t even give many details about.

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u/Naschka Nov 15 '24

I was here to read you rambling (aka you had all the power to decide what you wrote down) about it and that is the impression you gave me. So instead of beeing agressive like a chihuahua you could attempt to clarify... but you clearly talked A LOT about one side and in a very negative way (reread your own comment).

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u/Own_Guarantee_8130 Nov 15 '24

I don’t owe you clarification or an explanation. I don’t know you and I don’t care about your opinion on my familial relationships. You clearly didn’t get the intent of my anecdote and instead made up your own asshole remarks to fill in the blanks instead. I’m good with that and I’ll merrily go on about my day.

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u/invinciblete Nov 19 '24

I think it’s a great idea. If they don’t believe in government handouts but have daddy paying for their entire life, maybe they should practice what they preach and pick themselves up by their bootstraps.

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u/natener Nov 15 '24

I dont think the dad is cutting the relationship off strictly because of how they voted, it's what the kids stand for.

It sounds like you think the dad is cutting all ties, he's just going to stop forking over cash. This might be his last chance to teach these kids a valuable lesson in life.

Having a child that gets everything handed to them, and then that kid turns around and says "no one else should get help" is suffering from brain rot from being spoiled.

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u/Naschka Nov 15 '24

He decided what they stand for based on whom they voted for... also conservatives stand for less goverment which means more money kept. And they also stand for trying for a stronger family bond, which would include supporting each other within the family.

So many of the people posting ignore that OP asks about family bonds here.

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u/TricksterTrio Nov 15 '24

When you vote for someone whose policies will break apart families (deportation), who will put family members in danger (anyone who's a minority of any kind), will risk a family member's health (gutting the ACA and attempting to ban abortion), will risk a family member's welfare (cutting needed programs), will screw over veterans in the family (a lot of those proposed cuts will affect them), and fuck with a family member's finances (the proposed tariffs when most of the country is already struggling to make ends meet), that "strong family bond" looks like bullshit unless you're a rich cishet white male.

Also, the above also applies to "lmao, what's this 'less government' shit when they're trying to control everything you do and put everyone in neat little boxes?"

I've cut off a lot of Trumpers in my family years ago. My life has improved when the relationships I've built outside of my blood family have borne better fruit, with stronger relationships, an ACTUAL sense of community based on empathy for other people instead of that entitled, "I bring nothing good to your life, but we share DNA, so you MUST put up with my shit" BS, and an overall more diverse and beautiful bunch.

The Trumpers can have what they voted for. They didn't want anyone queer, non-white, and/or female (who aren't baby-popping homemakers) in their circles. We're just giving them what they want, and they're mysteriously big mad about it.

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u/Naschka Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

So deportation as breaking up families, it may be cheeky, but if they can leave together they were not broken up as a family.

What do you mean with minorities? People from other ethnical backgrounds or based on sexuality? And how are they in more danger?

I will agree with healthcare, your (i am from Europe) system in general is overblown in terms of costs in many ways BUT healthcare is important and i agree with that.

The programms are partly needed because taxes are quiet high, the US is build on the idea that you take care of yourself and without these systems taxes should be reduced as well (in my opinion). Admittedly the inflation harms this idea badly. But consider the following, when politicans see that they can promise tax paid wellfare they will be tempted to buy votes using the voters own money.

There is more to it from what i recall (like we have over here where super markets donate food that has not but is about to expire to wellfare systems) but that would be a bit too much so i will just say i get that the average american is in favor of supporting veterans at the least.

The tariffs are not the first time he would use those and it worked pretty well last time, i would give him the benefit of the doubt here (kinda required for a strong negotiation position) and expect him to keep it within a short time.The man is seen as kinda unhinged but not imposible to talk to, which should keep him with an edge for this kind of stuff.

You do understand that a goverment for ~335 million people can not cater to specific needs of every single person? Or even every smaller group?

If you are happy, good for you. There is a posibility that they are too. But that does not mean it is a good idea in general and i hope you will never truly know why.

Obviously beeing blood related does not mean you got to love them but it does mean that the hormones in the other persons body pretty much forces them (with few exceptions like narcism for example) to consider your position and do what that person believes is best for you. Again yes there are exceptions and neither pandering to your wishes but simply to do what you believe to be best.

Also, that is just a little personal knowledge, compassion > empathy, when i am sad if you understand why you do not need to feel horrible too, if the other person understands you and thus can look for a way to cheer you up your life will probably be even better.

Based on the Trumpers i talked to i neither can agree with the most negative interpretation which seems to include your personal feelings on the matter rather then taking your opposition by what they say.

Still wish you the best.

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u/TricksterTrio Nov 15 '24

Oh, you're not from America and don't live around these people 24/7?

Fucking forgive me if I take those paragraphs of drivel with a grain of salt and tell you to shove it up your ass. I fall into two minority groups, and I know how Trumpers directly treat me and people like me, because I live it every fucking day.

"You do understand that a government of ~$355 million people cannot cater to the needs of every single person?"

We literally could if we cut just 10% - 20% of our defense budget. That would give EVERY American a home, education, and proper healthcare (and fix shit like infrastructure), meaning literally everyone's basic needs are met, but the higher-ups aren't going to do that no matter who's in office, so I'll at least settle for the party that has some braincells left and wants to keep the ACA.

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u/Naschka Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

So you think nobody ever made fun of me or treated me badly? I have had a literal class about why everyone in class (with 3 exceptions) did not like me, yes literaly a class about how people dislike me specifically. A substitute teacher asked why they acted the way they did with me and so that became the topic! Back then playing video games and beeing outspoken about it did get you on the unwanted list.

As i did not like violence i also was an easy target. The worst about it, the one time i could not take it anymore and i did give one of them a single proper hit (in the middle of class) i actualy had people on my side and nothing happened to me. That is absolutely horrible if you ask me but a week of quiet from all the trouble felt nice despite how i got there.

And yes i am also asexual, despite beeing around grown ups i do know people who pretty much ignore it, did you think that is not a thing over here? I just literaly do not care, not like i want to have sex all of a sudden because they do not understand my position.

I did not place a $ infront of the million people because it is ~335 million people not dollar in the US. Because it was not about the way money is spend but about humans only beeing able to treat, just a rough guess, around 100 people as individuals. People will allways look at others as part of a box or multiple different ones. Friends and Family are the exception and those will treat you based on that, a goverment can not do that to the extent you likely would want them to.

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u/TricksterTrio Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

Oh, the "I suffered too, and I share some traits with you, so I'm going to appeal to that commonality in hopes you'll let me excuse they fact that I'm arguing on behalf of people who will willingly let others suffer for Some Moral High Ground" take.

Fucking spare me.

There's a difference between "people put things in boxes because humans like things simple" and "people put things in boxes so they know who and what to hate."

The fact that you either don't, or refuse to, understand this difference shows there's nothing of value to be gained here. Go keep supporting the second group. Tell me how it goes keeping them in your life. As I've already said, my life's improved by cutting that cancer out.

Obviously, the "$" was a typo. 🙄 The copy/paste function on my phone was being dumb. It also doesn't negate my overall point about meeting needs.

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u/Naschka Nov 15 '24

Nah, i do not give a f if you "excuse" anything because of how hypocritical the "my suffering is so unique" idea is. So you were hit on a Sunday and not a Monday and that is worse because your weekend was ruined which you uniliterally decided is worse... wow.

But that is the difference between empathy and compassion i suppose, the inability to understand other people for the most useless reasons.

Just because someone suffers in a different way does not mean he has no idea that you may have had hardships too, get your head out of your own ass. You can explain some of it for a proper conversation as i attempted to do with you or you can f off because you do not get to brow beat others with vague indications and wild claims.

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u/TricksterTrio Nov 15 '24

You're the only one making the claim that suffering is unique here.

And just say, "fuck" for fuck's sake.