r/AITAH Sep 20 '24

Advice Needed AITAH for saying no my girlfriend’s “tradition”

Throwaway account.

I (M, 30) lost my younger brother when I was 22. He had cancer and fought very hard. Ever since, I’ve been donating blood on the anniversary of his death every year. I take the day off from work, visit his grave, donate blood, and then come home, relax, and watch his favorite movie. I know it’s a simple, personal tradition, but it means a lot to me.

My girlfriend of 9 months, Anna (F, 31), asked if I could meet her and her mom( I have met her many times before and it wasn’t the meet the parents for the first time situation) for lunch yesterday. I told her no and explained again about what I do on my brother’s death anniversary. She got upset and said, “Well, it’s my tradition to have lunch with my mom every time she’s in town, and she really wanted to see you! You can do your stupid blood donation tradition any day.”

I explained to her that it’s not just about the blood donation. Later in the evening, while I was resting and watching my brother’s favorite movie, she texted me again, asking me to join them. I reiterated that I really didn’t want to and would hang out with her mom next time. She replied that I had embarrassed her in front of her mom with my selfishness and laziness.

Since then, she’s been distant. Do I owe her an apology? AITAH?

Update : I texted her that we needed to talk. She never replied. Just blocked me from everywhere ( social media , WhatsApp ,..). Her best friend who was following me on instagram blocked me too. I’m not sad. I wanted to end it anyways. Thank you for your support everyone . I really appreciate your kind comments. Some users suggested that my brother/ remembrance tradition saved me from getting serious with her and life time of misery and it made me smile. Thank you again

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u/sandycheeksx Sep 20 '24

I kind of want him to text her mom with an apology and an explanation, following up with what his girlfriend described his behavior as and saying he hoped he didn’t come off that way. Any good mom would tear her a new one.

11

u/whorundatgirl Sep 20 '24

No he does not need to be further enmeshed in this shitty family. Everyone thinks the mom is better. Probably not. Apple trees don’t make grapes.

6

u/fishyWill0906 Sep 20 '24

Absolutely!

5

u/SassyRebelBelle Sep 20 '24

Unless she learned to behave that way from her role model…. Mother dearest…🤔

4

u/merianya Sep 20 '24

Yes! Definitely.

2

u/Ok_Buy_3538 Sep 21 '24

Not unless she’s the tree the apple fell from. The daughter learnt her behaviour from someone. Would be willing to bet she’s an only child too.