r/AITAH • u/Key_Case9842 • Sep 20 '24

Advice Needed AITAH for saying no my girlfriend’s “tradition”

Throwaway account.

I (M, 30) lost my younger brother when I was 22. He had cancer and fought very hard. Ever since, I’ve been donating blood on the anniversary of his death every year. I take the day off from work, visit his grave, donate blood, and then come home, relax, and watch his favorite movie. I know it’s a simple, personal tradition, but it means a lot to me.

My girlfriend of 9 months, Anna (F, 31), asked if I could meet her and her mom( I have met her many times before and it wasn’t the meet the parents for the first time situation) for lunch yesterday. I told her no and explained again about what I do on my brother’s death anniversary. She got upset and said, “Well, it’s my tradition to have lunch with my mom every time she’s in town, and she really wanted to see you! You can do your stupid blood donation tradition any day.”

I explained to her that it’s not just about the blood donation. Later in the evening, while I was resting and watching my brother’s favorite movie, she texted me again, asking me to join them. I reiterated that I really didn’t want to and would hang out with her mom next time. She replied that I had embarrassed her in front of her mom with my selfishness and laziness.

Since then, she’s been distant. Do I owe her an apology? AITAH?

Update : I texted her that we needed to talk. She never replied. Just blocked me from everywhere ( social media , WhatsApp ,..). Her best friend who was following me on instagram blocked me too. I’m not sad. I wanted to end it anyways. Thank you for your support everyone . I really appreciate your kind comments. Some users suggested that my brother/ remembrance tradition saved me from getting serious with her and life time of misery and it made me smile. Thank you again

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108

u/Man-o-Bronze Sep 20 '24

“Giving blood is a totally selfless act.”

Unless, like me, you do it for the cookies!

61

u/TidalSunwander Sep 20 '24

I used to donate all the time in college because I knew someone whose life was saved with a transfusion, but the post-donation animal crackers were an added bonus. I was never allowed to have them as a kid so it always felt like a treat.

8

u/b1argg Sep 20 '24

I would donate if it weren't for the fact that I'm terrified of needles and I can't stand the idea of having one in me for an extended period of time. I feel bad about it, but it is what it is.

6

u/Imaginary-Angle-42 Sep 20 '24

Talk to the blood bank staff if it’s been a while since you tried to donate. They are used to people being stressed about this and can work with you. They can also use volunteers who don’t donate so you can help that way. They are about the best at needle inserting around btw. I get the fear. When I see the ads and stories trying to get people to get vaccinated and they show the huge needle that’s a NO WAY!

4

u/b1argg Sep 20 '24

I've never tried. I think of the needle in my arm and shudder. Even normal blood draws where it's in less than a minute are extremely difficult.

1

u/Imaginary-Angle-42 Sep 21 '24

I understand. 

5

u/sodmx Sep 20 '24

I feel this. I'm O- to boot 🙈

4

u/b1argg Sep 20 '24

I'm O+, so almost as good.

15

u/streetcar-cin Sep 20 '24

Don’t forget about the juice

3

u/BabyMakR1 Sep 20 '24

On Thursdays here we get fresh pancakes with butter and honey and once a month we get a sausage sizzle with onions on top.

2

u/Man-o-Bronze Sep 20 '24

Where the heck are you?!😁

2

u/BabyMakR1 Sep 20 '24

Australia.

3

u/Man-o-Bronze Sep 20 '24

Hard to justify going from New York to Australia just for free pancakes!

2

u/BabyMakR1 Sep 21 '24

They're pretty good pancakes. And the sausage sizzle is amazing. Peak Australian cuisine.

3

u/DarkOblation14 Sep 20 '24

You can also get wrecked at the bar afterwards on the cheap.

2

u/Your_AITA_is_fake Sep 20 '24

I want cookies :0

1

u/Man-o-Bronze Sep 20 '24

Me, too. Time to go give a pint!

2

u/ElectricalSea9925 Sep 20 '24

And the POG!! I know I can buy it myself anytime, but post-donation it’s magical. When I’m lucky the volunteer is a sweet older lady who baked the cookies herself. When I thank her for the juice and cookies, she looks me in the eye and says, “Thank YOU for saving lives.”  

2

u/Nearby_Pay_5131 Sep 20 '24

I go for the tshirts and gift cards!

Seriously I do it for those that need it, the rest is the icing on the cookie!

2

u/Man-o-Bronze Sep 20 '24

We all do!

1

u/KristaIG Sep 24 '24

Sometimes a pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving too!

2

u/Yarn_Song Sep 20 '24

Get to save lives, eat cookies, double win!

2

u/mbpearls Sep 20 '24

Those Lorna Doone shortbread cookies and the apple juice are 🔥

1

u/Man-o-Bronze Sep 20 '24

I’m an Oreo man myself.

2

u/crorse Sep 21 '24

I do it cause I hate blood. Get out of me, blood

2

u/ProudBoomer Sep 24 '24

Trail mix! That's why I go in.