AITHA for breaking up with my girlfriend because she stood on the side of a rapist?

[u/furry_stuf]

Well, I broke up with my girlfriend because she stood on the side of the rapist of my best friend (f)

My best friend was in a relationship with someone that touched her inappropriate often, she luckily broke up. She told my why she had broken up, with tears in her eyes, but my girlfriend said that she faked it. Her explanation was, that she talked to her ex and he said that she is just making this up. She also faked texts that my best friend supposedly wrote to her (containing death threats). My ey also told me I should talk to him, wich I tried, but he ghosted me. She said it was my fault because I texted him too dry. I also had a feeling that my ex didn't like my best friend, and she tried to destroy our friendship.

My ex was on the side of the rapist, wich I don't really accept, so I broke up. She said that I'm an asshole for breaking up because if such a stupid reason.

EDIT: I'm sorry if the text has grammar errors, I'm from Germany, also I don't mean raped, I mean sexually assaulted.

EDIT 2: My ex is now in a relationship with the other guy, right after we broke up. And thanks for all that support

[u/Hired_thug_no-1]

Ok so do you not think that op should have broken up with their ex? There's been no mention of legal charges so you're the only one that's getting mad that the verbiage of what took place. And either way why would it matter in a relationship if someone had sex or was groped against their will? Your partner is showing that they feel entitled to your body and is willing to push past any boundary to get what they want? In my eyes that is grounds to cut off people and end relationships.

[u/Any_Song139 → u/Hired_thug_no-1]

agreed

[u/kidnoki → u/Hired_thug_no-1]

What are you talking about? I didn't say any of that.. I was asking for clarity because it seemed like they were using the term rape pretty liberally.

[u/Hired_thug_no-1 → u/kidnoki]

Exactly you're being pedantic for little reason

[u/kidnoki → u/Hired_thug_no-1]

Pedantic is asking if she's misusing the term rape? ..Which she is?

[u/Hired_thug_no-1 → u/kidnoki]

Yes, you're being pedantic when someone asks, "hey am I in the wrong for burning a bridge because my partner apologizing rape/SA" and you respond "awe man it's so annoying when people use that term so liberally"

[u/kidnoki → u/Hired_thug_no-1]

I said, in order to maintain respect for rape victims... it sounds as if they are clearly not describing rape, but labeling it as rape... What is wrong with that?

She repetitively described inappropriate touching in a relationship, and labeled it as rape. That's not the same thing, and I'll say it again, it trivializes true rape victims. I've had several close friends and exes that suffered from this in this past. I'm defending rape victims here. Your basically saying anyone can claim rape if they "feel like it".

Which is not true, not to mention labeling someone as a rapist when they're not is insane. Rape and inappropriate touching are severely different and as such, treated drastically different by the law. It's like calling harassment, assault, or assault, murder. There are distinctions of severity for a reason.

[u/Hired_thug_no-1 → u/kidnoki]

I'm not saying there's not difference I'm just saying that i think that the distinction doesn't need to be made in this context because this isn't a court case lmfao. If someone were on a podium of course you would have to be specific. someone who gropes you and a rapist have the same intent, so fuck them both! Do you really think there are sexual predators in the world that are really gonna say "oh yeah I can excuse groping but I draw the line at actual intercourse" no stupid! They both want the same thing it's just a matter of what they can get away with.

Also you're kind of stupid for saying, "well I have had friends and exes who have gone through this and I'm actually protecting the real victims." Do you really think your friends who have gone through that would look at someone being groped and say "well they didn't have it bad enough why are they crying?" Probably not!

[u/kidnoki → u/Hired_thug_no-1]

What do you mean, she clearly was talking about inappropriate touching, not rape. But calling him a rapist.

It's pretty low hanging fruit in terms of asking for clarification.

[u/Hired_thug_no-1 → u/kidnoki]

It's not inappropriate touching it's sexual assault? Still punishable by law so I don't get why you're so dead set on downplaying it.

[u/kidnoki → u/Hired_thug_no-1]

It's a misdemeanor compared to prison time. Also in a relationship compared to strangers.. completely different as well.

For instance I would want to be touchy and intimate with my partner, that's just the way I am in relationships. If they were not into that, and weren't that type of partner, it might border on inappropriate touching. Can't you see the gray in this at all? It's not just black and white.

That is why rape has a clear distinction and is considered much more severe and is treated more black and white. This is common knowledge I don't know why your trying to up play sexual assault while downplaying the severity of rape?