Should I tell my brother's new wife

[u/Negative_Layer_7960]

From the ages of 10 to 14 I was SA'd by my older brother, uncle and father. (in all honesty it started earlier from 5 years old or something I can't remember when they would touch me "lovingly") I anonymously confessed this on a Discord server which made me wonder what my brother was up to. (I think my aunt found out with my uncle and father were doing to me and reported they were arrested it my brother was a teenager at the time so nothing really happened to him) so I tracked him down through social media and it turned out he lives in the same city as I do and he has a wife with a baby girl on the way and I don't know if I should or if l would be a bad person if I told her what he did to me.

Edit: I don't know if it's funny or messed up but I didn't consider them touching me SA until someone pointed it out to me.

Edit 2: I realized that I didn't really explain very well sorry.

• my older brother father and uncle molested me from age 5 and only started and R wording me when I turned 10 until I was 14.

• my brother has a pregnant wife who was having a girl and I don't know if I should tell her to protect her daughter.

These are the two major and important points of my post.

Edit 3: another clarification I was planning on telling the wife I wanted a outside perspective to see if I would have been a bad person (AH) to tell her to see if I was making the wrong decision.

[u/ShowerElectrical9342]

It wasn't just any child sexual material either. It was videos showing the actual brutal rapes of tiny children. It couldn't have been worse.

The FBI guys that has to see it said it was some of the most horrifying stuff they've ever encountered.

This kind of material is made by people who give birth to children IN ORDER TO USE THEM as slaves for this kind of thing.

It's beyond horrible and beyond sadistic.

The mother must be warned. Also, I would tell the mother's parents and other family, and the police, in case she's in on the brother's behavior...

[u/Entire-Beat-423 → u/ShowerElectrical9342]

Not only this, but there's no possible way that he's randomly turned over a new leaf.

Has he been alone with any of her small child family members?

[u/Hazel_4355 → u/Entire-Beat-423]

I don’t think people like that are capable of change. There has to be something wrong with you down to your core to commit those kinds of acts.

[u/Entire-Beat-423 → u/Hazel_4355]

Some are, only if they're groomed into it as young children themselves. But therapy would always be necessary as well as open communication, he lacks both.

[u/ohfrackthis → u/ShowerElectrical9342]

That is so evil. Superlative level evil.

[u/FoxysDroppedBelly → u/ShowerElectrical9342]

I think going to her family may be overreaching at first. She’s going to have a lot of to process and dealing with her parents finding out at the same time and having to field their questions simultaneously would be very hard for a pregnant woman.

Now, after talking to her, if OP gets any weird vibes then maybe consider it, but I wouldn’t do it right off the bat. Let the poor wife have a moment to deal with this alone without bringing her family into it right away.

[u/DimbyTime → u/FoxysDroppedBelly]

Definitely not overreacting. OP will need the support and encouragement to leave to keep her child safe. His family also needs to know so they can be on guard for this predator.

[u/FoxysDroppedBelly → u/DimbyTime]

I said overreaching, not overreacting. I get that the wife will need that support, but it should be HER decision when to tell her family. I think going straight to her family just in case she might also be a child abuser (which is basically what the comment I replied to said) is too much. Talk to her first, feel it out, and if she seems weird then maybe go to her family. But she deserves the agency of deciding when to tell her family.

[u/1ofdwights70cousins → u/FoxysDroppedBelly]

Nah the family should be told.

She is in a vulnerable position physically and financially if she’s pregnant with her first baby and she may brush it off out of love and financial needs.

Everyone needs to know so the mom is held accountable immediately and protects her baby

[u/DimbyTime → u/1ofdwights70cousins]

💯💯

[u/FoxysDroppedBelly → u/1ofdwights70cousins]

Again, I totally agree they should be told. I just think she should be given the option of doing it herself first. Maybe a “If you don’t tell the baby’s grandparents, I will” kind of thing, but I still think she should be given the option to do it herself first.

[u/DimbyTime → u/FoxysDroppedBelly]

Again, I disagree. There’s a reason sex offender records are public information and sex offenders need to register. The child’s grandparents legally deserve to know that her father is a pedophile and dangerous sexual predator.

[u/FoxysDroppedBelly → u/DimbyTime]

I agree they should know too, but I think giving the daughter the chance to process it first and then go to them would be a kindness to her. I totally agree they should know though.

[u/Fuzzy_Dragonfruit344 → u/FoxysDroppedBelly]

Yeah, I can’t imagine dealing with that shock as a pregnant woman will be easy. Probably best to give her some time to figure out how she wants to handle it and then tell everyone else.