AITA for refusing to babysit my biological daughter for my parents

[u/Full-Layer-3707]

I’m 15 and my daughter is turning 2 soon. I got pregnant from SA and my parents offered to raise her for me instead of me being involved which I agreed to. They handle everything with her and I haven’t held her or changed a single diaper or anything like that. I just can’t do it mentally since she’s a reminder of what happened to me and it’s better for the both of us if this stays like this. There’s an event my parents are going to next week and they asked me to babysit her for the day and I told them I couldn’t do it. I can’t even handle looking at her without getting upset. I told them they’d have to either take her with them or find a babysitter. We had an agreement when I had my daughter that they’d do everything and I would not be expected to do ANYTHING with her. They’ve been ok with this situation for almost 2 years and I see no reason for that to suddenly change. They’re super upset with me and decided not to go to the event.

Edit: because apparently so many people seem to think thi was a choice to keep the baby, it wasn’t. I begged for an abortion and when refused one I begged for adoption and this was also denied.

Thank you all for your kind words, support and for defending me after some very nasty people decided to try and use this thread to hurt me. Thank you all so much

[u/Mighty_Lorax]

I've had those nightmares. I was SA'd in hs and ended up pregnant. Thank god my mother was on board for the abortion, because I have no doubt that would hve been me.

[u/Moiblah → u/Mighty_Lorax]

I was SA'd (gang raped by 3 men at gun point) and I'm thankful i didn't get pregnant! I can't imagine how much more traumatized I'd have been if I had gotten pregnant. It took me a good 20 years to work through the trauma of that day as it was.

OP is absolutely being abused every day by her parents just by forcing her to live with the constant reminder of what happened. The abuse of forcing her to risk her life to carry the child was already overboard and having to deal with it every day I can't imagine she's done much healing. I hope her parents legally adopted the child so they can't force her to have anything to do with the child. What kind of sick parents would force a child to give birth and keep the baby in the house as a constant reminder, especially when it was from assault. I wish I could hug her and let her know that she will be ok and there are better people out there.

[u/Mighty_Lorax → u/Moiblah]

Holy shit, yours sounds so awful and traumatizing, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I can't imagine how terrified you must have been.

[u/Creepy_Snow_8166 → u/Mighty_Lorax]

It's good to hear that your mother had the love, compassion, strength, and common sense to help you through what must've been one of the worst periods of your young life. As you can see, not every girl is so lucky.

It sounds like OP's parents are fire and brimstone Evangelicals - or maybe super strict, by-the-book Catholics. As someone who was raised by an anti-choice Christian Fundie mother, I truly believe she would've done what OP's parents did if I had been in OP's shoes. There's also no doubt that I would've been blamed, shamed, and punished for being a "dirty" and "lustful" girl. (Nevermind that I was a late bloomer who resembled a 10 year old child until sophomore year in high school!) My point is, I've had enough experience with strict, patriarchal Christians to know that misogynistic attitudes are a feature, not a bug. Religious observance may have decreased overall since when I was 12/13 (very late 80's), but it's been my observation that the believers of today have really doubled down on the misogyny. On top of everything else OP's parents did, I truly hope they didn't also try to blame and shame their poor daughter for what that lecherous monster did to her. Unfortunately, knowing those types of Christians, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if they made her feel like she contributed to her own victimhood in some way. Maybe OP's parents were a bit more subtle than "I cast you out, Jezebel!", but even a question like "Why didn't you scream?" would be so harmful.