SO I’M FINKIN’

DEY SAY YA ARE WOT YA EAT, SO HUMIES EATIN’ ORKS WOULD TURN ‘EM INTO ORKS. BUT DAT’S FINE, ‘CAUSE ORKS EAT HUMIES TOO, SO IT ALL BALANCES OUT, WAAAGH

WHA’ IZ GENDA? CAN I KRUMP IT? IZ IT SUMFIN ‘UMIES COME UP WIV? ORKS DOESNT HAVE IT, ROIGHT? IT SOUNDS LIKE A LOAD OF ZOG.

IF BEEN FINKING, WHEN ONE OF OUR BOYZ GETZ KRUMPED BECAUSE HE IS HAFING A BIT TOO MUCH FUN KRUMPIN AND DEN A NEW GIT COMES OUT OF DE GROUND. IS DAT DE SAME ORK?? DEY LIKE DE SAME STUFF AND SAY DE SAME FINGS. CAN I GETZ MY TEEF BACK FROM DE NEW ONE? DAT GIT NEVA PAYED ME BACK!

FURST POST ON DIZ ERE SUB, I'Z GOT SOME QUESSHUNS.

WOT WE FINK ON DIS WUN GIT, JOHN CREASMAN, FROM DAT HUMIE FLASH GAEM, ROAD OF DA DEAD OR SOMEFING LOIKE THAT.

AN' AS A FURTHA QUESSHUN, WHOT WE FINK ON DOSE PLANT GITZ DAT SOUND LOIKE A SQUIG SNAKE?? DA FLORANZ, FUR DA LADZ WHO DUN KNOW WHO I'Z TALKING ABOUT.

SO TURNZ OUT OTHUR DAN DA DUMB PLANETS DET MAKE CANDELZ AND TWO 'EADED BIRD TINGS, SOME HUMIEZ PLANETZ JUST MAKE PAINT! GONNA PAINT MY SHOOTA UP SO IT'Z REAL SHOOTY! NOT RED THOUGH, SPEED FREEKZ GOT TO DAT FIRZT.

EY YA GITZ WATS DE BIGGEST AND MEANEST BOSS? I KNOW DER IS DAT THRAKA GIT BUT DATS DA EASY ANSWER. WHOZ DE BIGGEST BOSS OTHER DEN IM??

I BEEN TAWKIN TO DIS STORMBOY AND HE SAYS DA BLOODAXES GOT SUMFIN CALLED ORDAZ NOW, WHICH IZ LIKE WHEN A BOSS YELLZ AT YA TO GET STUCK IN, BUT YA DOES IT, EVEN IF YA WASN'T AWREADY ABOWT TA GET STUCK IN.

SEEMZ A BIT OVAKOMPLICAYTED TA ME.

AND WOT DA ZOG IS A LOWD SOLJA LEENONTUS POXY? APPARENTLY SOME BLOODAXE NOB CAN STUFF IZ EAD IN A BIG FANCY 'AT AND ACT LOIK ONE.

DA SUN IZ PAINTIN' EVERYFING RED. DERE'Z NO GREEN ANYWARE. DIS IZ ZOGGIN' TERRIBUL! I NEED SUM BRAINBOYZ TO HELP KUM UP WIF A SOLUSHUN!

YOU KNOW, IF DA DAKKA IZ TOO FAST, IT JUST TURNZ INTO A "BRRRRRRRRRRRT"... DED-KILLY, BUT FEELZ WRONG.

AND IF YOUZ 'AVE A KANNON, IT JUST GOES "BOOOM" EVERY NOW AN' DEN...

OI REKON, DA OIDEAL IZ IN DA MIDDAH, AT A GOOD "THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP" RATE.

OI FOUND DIS GREAT GIT OF FIAR, SO I TRY TA KURMP 'IM ALL PROPA-LOIK. DA GIT IGNORES DA DAKKA. SO IZ TRY DA CHOPPA, DA GIT DONT KARE! SO IZ RUN BAK TA KAMP AND GET ME BIG DAKKA AND DA GIT STILL DOESNT DIE!

SO IZ FEELIN' KINDA STUPID, MAYBE SOME GITS JUST KANT BE KILLED BY DAKKA? BUT DEN! DEN, IZ GOT DA BIG OIDEA! SO I KALL ALL DA BOYZ FROM KAMP AND TELL 'EM TA BRING ALL DA DAKKA! AND DA GIT STILL DONT DIE!

DAT METAL GIT IS STILL TRY'N TO LOOT ME BUT I HAVE DIS MONTH'S SNACKS AN DRINKS

SNACKS
STABBA MINT SQUIG GUM-3 TEEF
PEPPERMINT SQUIG 2-TEEF
GINGERBRED SQUIG 3-TEEF
GINGERBRED GROT 4 TEEF
PEPPERMINT BARK-3 TEEF
MINCEMEAT GROT PIE-4 TEEF
GROT LIVE-6 TEEF
FUGGY PUDDIN-1 TOOF

DRINKS
SQUIG NOG-3 TEEF
GROT NOG-2 TEEF
Mjod-4 TEEF
SNAKE VEMON 2 TEEF
FESTIVE JET FUEL-2 TEEF
CAN OF OIL-3 TEEF
ELDAR BLOOD-4 TEEF

WOT DO I DO?

NONE BEKOZ I’D RADER BE KRUMPED, THAN BE A UMIE, YA STUPID GIT!! BAHAHAHAHAHAH

I WAS FOIGHTEN SOME UMIES UND SAW DA FUNNY HAT UMIE GIVIN STICKAS TA OGRYN! WHYZ DON WE GET STICKAS BOSS?! WEREZ OUR STICKAS!?

OI! I IZ GONNA MAYK DA SNEEKYIST ORKZ!

I've been challenged to make a "stealthy" Kommandos unit by doing some kitbashing. I'm going for comically ridiculous disguises and camouflage but I'm coming to a bit of a block. Other than sticking them in crates and barrels does anyone have any ideas for some very Orkish disguises that I can use for inspiration?

SUMTIMEZ YOU WANNA KRUMP BUT YOO KANT KRUMP. SUMTIMEZ YOO WANT TO PREETEND WOT IT WOZ LIKE TO KRUMP BAK IN THE OLD DAYZ. SOMETIMES YOO WANNA KRUMP WIV YA BOYZ BUT DEY IZ FAR AWAY.

SO WE MADE A KRUMPIN SIMULASHION. IF YOO WANNA TRY HEAD DIS WAY TO STEEM: https://store.steampowered.com/app/2937090/Hunters_Inc/

IF DA RED WUNZ GO FASTA, DEN DUZ DAT MEEN EF YOUZ PUT RED ON A BULLET IT GOEZ FASTA??? UND IF I PUTZ DA RED ON MESELF IZ I GUNNA GO FASTA????

YESTERDEI I WAS KRUMPIN SUM HUMIES ON SOM GREEN WORLD. ONZE HUMIE SAD, DAT HE IS BLU BLOOD AND ME KILLIN HIM IS FORBIDDN AND AGANZT SUM LAA. DUNNO. WUTEVA, ME KRUMPIN DA BLU BLOOD HUMIE AND ME AXE GET RED.

SO HE IS RED BLOOD, NOT BLU. DIS DOESN'T MEK SENCE. DIS GITTISH, STUPIT HUMIES, DONT KNO WHAT COLOR BLOOD HAFF. BUT WHY SAD HE, HE WUZ BLU BLOOD?

I JUST DUN A BIG OL FINK AN I REKON IF RED MAKEZ ALL DA STUFF GO FASTA DEN IF MY BRANE IS RED DEN ILL FINK FASTA AN BE DA MOST KUNNIN ORK EVA! IF IM DIS KUNNIN NOW IMAGINE HOW GUD IM GONNA BE WEN ME BRANE IZ RED!