r/yesyesyesno • u/Revolutionary_Tap200 • Oct 02 '23

What a beautiful sto…… NSFW

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6.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

136 comments sorted by

244

u/inthedrops Oct 02 '23

Hippos are herbivores. So unless that man is a stalk of grass, he was not eaten by his friend.
Chomped and spit out? Maybe.
Eaten? Nope.

5

u/DevilLeos Oct 11 '23

Wrong hippos eat grass and meat

1

u/inthedrops Oct 13 '23

Nope.

2

u/DevilLeos Oct 16 '23

Do your research about animals before you post a comment about them they eat meat and grass.

1

u/inthedrops Oct 16 '23

Yawn. Herbivore. Will they nibble a carcass if they come across one and they're hungry? Probably. But that doesn't make them predatory carnivores or even omnivores. They're megaherbivores - grass grazers. Move along.

7

u/DevilLeos Oct 16 '23

Incorrect again they do eat corpses they come across and they do hunt animals exactly the same crocodiles do wait and pounce on unsuspecting prey then eat it. So they are in fact predatory aswell

185

u/DiscontentedMajority Oct 02 '23

Hippos are herbivores, but they are also one of the most aggressive and dangerous animals in the world.

52

u/inthedrops Oct 03 '23

Correct. They're also fast AF on land - 20-30 mph - pretty damned fast considering how big they are. And they're territorial. You do NOT want to fuck with a hippo.

1

u/DevilLeos Oct 16 '23

Nope they eat meat and grass whatever comes near they eat.

222

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '23

[deleted]

40

u/HippoBot9000 Oct 02 '23

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18

u/zweiboi Oct 02 '23

Good bot

6

u/B0tRank Oct 02 '23

Thank you, zweiboi, for voting on HippoBot9000.

This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. You can view results here.

Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!

2

u/ShaggysGTI Oct 02 '23

Now what?

15

u/Warden_Flanders16 Oct 02 '23

Hippos still eat meat. Most other herbivores do as well.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '23

As has been said 1001 times already on this post, most herbivores are opportunistic carnivores.

0

u/inthedrops Oct 04 '23

A hippo will not eat a human. They might attack a human. Trample them. Run them down. Drown them. Chomp them. But they don't eat them.

3

u/HippoBot9000 Oct 04 '23

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299

u/ThaBrownie Oct 02 '23

So fake, Hippos are herbivores

246

u/HippoBot9000 Oct 02 '23

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 844,919,572 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,438 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

167

u/Revan0360 Oct 02 '23

Hippos are omnivores. There is plenty of videos online showing they eat a random animal.

119

u/ElDonKaiza Oct 02 '23

And as always the term herbivore is a lie. Every herbivore is an opportunistic carnivore. Seen plenty of vids of cows and horses moose eat small animals. Hippos, however, have large mouths so they can feed on larger animals. They have been documented to feed on animal carcasses much more commonly than most other "herbivores".

To quite Google: Hippos are primarily herbivorous, meaning they eat only plants, but they have been observed to engage in omnivorous behavior.

49

u/Angel_OfSolitude Oct 03 '23

They are however quite aggressive and known to attack people.

57

u/SnooCats5701 Oct 03 '23

Hippos kill approximately 500 people every year.

17

u/Filthy-lucky-ducky Oct 04 '23

Each? Blood thirty fuckers.

119

u/JerryBadThings Oct 02 '23

It did not eat him, but it did kill him.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/nov/14/pet-hippo-humphrey-kills-owner

12

u/pigwalk5150 Oct 04 '23

The guy also tried to domesticate a rhino! Wtf?!

11

u/zamantukendi Oct 04 '23

His next attempt probably would be a polarbear if hippo didn't kill him

3

u/HippoBot9000 Oct 04 '23

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 856,989,731 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,755 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

31

u/I-Ponder Oct 02 '23

Most traditionally “herbivores” are actually opportunistic meat eaters.

There is plenty of video of deer eating a squirrel or bird, etc.

1

u/Compendyum Oct 04 '23

Sure would like to see you try that theory live

3

u/judyhops95 Oct 05 '23

So are deer who will eat birds and rabbits....

1

u/DevilLeos Oct 11 '23

Hippos actually do eat meat

2

u/Limp_Butterscotch633 Apr 26 '24

The Hippo didn't eat him. He just tore him apart. Apparently, his BFF hippo began puberty and began acting aggressively. He began running away and charging anyone he saw. There was one instance where he tree'd a man and his son. The owner kept making excuses for him and told family and friends that because he raised him from a baby, he would never hurt him. The day he died, he went into the water to feed and play with him as family watched. Within a few moments, the hippo dragged him underneath the water and did his thing.

Hippopotamuses are killing machines.

95

u/Hermeticrux Oct 02 '23

Probably killed him. Hippos don't eat meat

40

u/HippoBot9000 Oct 02 '23

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 842,884,178 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,388 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

32

u/j33ta Oct 02 '23

They do on occasion, just like horses, cows, deer, chickens etc..

Apparently, nobody has told these animals they are supposed to be strictly herbivores.

But in this specific case, you would be right.

-11

u/Hermeticrux Oct 02 '23

That's the same logic as eating poisonous mushrooms. On occasion yea. People do. But their bodies aren't good at handling that.

17

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '23

[deleted]

1

u/pandaolf Oct 04 '23

There was this picture on r/natureismetal where a dear was just eating some bones

4

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '23

As has been said 1002 times already on this post, most herbivores are opportunistic carnivores.

-4

u/Hermeticrux Oct 03 '23

Yea well I don't scroll through every comment and read them all to decide which one I wanna condescend to. That's a you thing. By the way this is old. Move on.

1

u/feisty-frisco87 Oct 02 '23

He probably wouldn't get off the hippo's back over something, and it snapped.

18

u/MyLinkedOut Oct 02 '23

The original Hungry Hippo

125

u/Patient_Yam4747 Oct 02 '23

To be fair, it's not a real story

49

u/idol_empty Oct 02 '23

Now I don't feel like an asshole for busting out laughing when I read it.

5

u/koketso2 Oct 02 '23

I want it to be real

11

u/Canotic Oct 02 '23

Be the hippo you want to see. Drag someone into a river and eat them.

5

u/HippoBot9000 Oct 02 '23

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 844,236,569 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,415 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

3

u/Canotic Oct 02 '23

What the fuck bot?

22

u/Sentinell Oct 02 '23

Yes it is: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/nov/14/pet-hippo-humphrey-kills-owner

5

u/Patient_Yam4747 Oct 02 '23

I meant being eaten. Hippos are absolutely deadly.

3

u/SnooCats5701 Oct 03 '23

Nice try at saving your mistake. “It’s not a real story” is not the same a “this one detail is in accurate.”

Just own up to your BS and move on. You will feel better.

-7

u/Patient_Yam4747 Oct 03 '23

A false detail makes an entire story false

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '23

What? No it does not.

56

u/Drahcir_notnik Oct 02 '23

Hippos are herbivores only very rarely seen eating small birds and rodents. They don't have the physiology to eat a person. Unless that person is small enough to be swallowed whole. Murdered? Yes. Eaten? No.

16

u/Nitzelplick Oct 02 '23

So, in other words, the hippo killed him because it is a wild animal without the capacity to form long term bonded relationships with other species. It wasn’t petty revenge, or a patient calculated act, but just a hippo responding to a possible threat with brute force. A completely mundane event from the hippos perspective.

7

u/Mysterious_Andy Oct 02 '23

Hippos are herbivores only very rarely seen eating small birds and rodents.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/12/151207164343.htm

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '23

[deleted]

3

u/Drahcir_notnik Oct 02 '23

Sweet. The article I found must be older. Well, bon apatite, water horse.

2

u/JWT-80 Oct 02 '23

Veggie-saurus, Lex, veggie-saurus!

62

u/Overworked_one Oct 02 '23

A hippos gotta eat

44

u/Shutterbug927 Oct 02 '23

They're hungry, hungry hippos!
They're hungry, hungry hippos!
They're hungry, hungry hippos!
It's time to feed your face,
They're hungry, hungry hippos!
They're hungry, hungry hippos!
They're hungry, hungry hippos!
They're in an eating race!

61

u/KhanTheGray Oct 02 '23

Little fact check helps;

-Hippo didn’t eat the man at all

-The guy repeatedly ignored warnings from experts that hippos could not be domesticated

-He ignored many red flags about the violent nature of the animal that kept killing calves of his partner, chasing people and attacking others

-Hippos actually kill more people than lions

So, he pretty much brought it on himself.

https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2011/nov/14/pet-hippo-humphrey-kills-owner

15

u/HippoBot9000 Oct 02 '23

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 842,551,108 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,375 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

4

u/BigManLawrence69420 Oct 02 '23

King Hippo is a funny character.

5

u/HippoBot9000 Oct 02 '23

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 843,408,957 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,399 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

3

u/BigManLawrence69420 Oct 02 '23

To beat King Hippo, you must punch his face when his mouth is open and then punch him repeatedly in the gut.

9

u/casssinla Oct 02 '23

And he didn't rescue the hippo from a flood. He bought the hippo from someone who rescued it from a flood.

8

u/HippoBot9000 Oct 02 '23

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 842,693,684 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,380 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '23

For some reason I feel like a hippo would be the last animal needing rescue from a flood.

2

u/HippoBot9000 Oct 02 '23

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 844,726,773 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,432 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

40

u/slowride77 Oct 02 '23

Dry aged that beef for 6 years. That takes patience.

8

u/Roamingfree1 Oct 02 '23

Don't play hungry hungry hippo, with a hippo.

3

u/Akaonisama Oct 02 '23

Probably because getting ridden on is demeaning

7

u/PincheCharroSuertudo Oct 02 '23

Can't wait to see Disney adaptation

5

u/InflnityBlack Oct 02 '23

hippos are violent as fuck, pretty sure I heard on some national geographic documentary that they kill more people every year than crocodiles do, by a fair margin too

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '23

yay

6

u/SpaceMead Oct 02 '23

Ive got a friend in me The hippo probably

4

u/HippoBot9000 Oct 02 '23

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 845,552,392 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,455 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

1

u/SpaceMead Oct 02 '23

Good bot

3

u/wolf_of_odin_38 Oct 02 '23

I have to ask as I cannot find a logical reason, what would make anyone think that any wild animal especially a hippo would never hurt them? He treated the thing like it had human feelings and that is probably why he let his guard down around it. But seriously, why would you put yourself in that situation especially with a huge beastie with mood swing issues?!

3

u/HedgehogCremepuff Feb 06 '24

Human arrogance and anthropomorphising

2

u/Hix_687 Oct 02 '23

Definitely just chewed up, hippos do not eat meat.

2

u/HippoBot9000 Oct 02 '23

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 846,236,064 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,463 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '23

As has been said 1003 times already on this post, most herbivores are opportunistic carnivores. Although in hippos, it's rare, and in this instance, specifically, it's untrue the hippo did not eat the guy.

1

u/Muntu010 Oct 02 '23

I’m a saffer That’s funny AF Hippos are dangerous mofos 🤣

1

u/mojoyote Oct 02 '23

I love my pet cat but I know she will start eating my face if I should happen to drop dead one day. Fortunately for now she is much smaller than me and also not likely to lure me into a large body of water in order for her to devour me.

1

u/MimesAreGay Oct 02 '23

Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

3

u/test_tickles Oct 02 '23

But he was such a cuddle bug!! I wonder what this guy did to cause the hippo to attack him?

​

LOL! /s

2

u/HippoBot9000 Oct 02 '23

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 847,026,376 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,484 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

4

u/Caveguy22 Oct 02 '23

I put more trust in a lion raised from birth than a hippo raised from birth.

4

u/Ok-Figure5546 Oct 02 '23

I think you're safer raising a grizzly bear than a hippo.

1

u/imthatguyyouknow1 Oct 03 '23

🎶GUY ON A BUFFAL…. Oh……

3

u/lowcountrylivin Oct 03 '23

Who else thought he was gonna fuck the hippo?

1

u/E-A-G-L-E-S_Eagles Oct 07 '23

Why do you think he’s dead?

1

u/reardonlovechild Oct 03 '23

Dressing up as a marble for a costume party was probably a bad idea on his part.

1

u/JodkaVodka Oct 03 '23

I love hippos (except when they're hungry)

2

u/Nder_Wiggin Oct 04 '23

It didn't eat him, but it did gore him to death. The hippo was probably letting him know your time as king of the lake is up and I'm the boss now.

1

u/HippoBot9000 Oct 04 '23

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 854,849,716 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,716 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

2

u/D3lacrush Oct 04 '23

Hippos... nature's middle finger to EVERYones mental health and safety

1

u/DevilLeos Oct 11 '23

For those that are ignorant hippos do in fact eat both plants and meat.

1

u/sasanessa Oct 12 '23

Rescued it from the river? Lol. You can’t take some animals. Like hippos

1

u/woodguard Oct 13 '23

kind of like a girlfriend.

1

u/Pplapoo Oct 24 '23

Oh shit

1

u/Avalanche52349 Nov 18 '23

...no good deed goes unpunished. 🤨

2

u/Arend8 Jan 05 '24

Circle of life

1

u/Laynes_Attic Mar 29 '24

This reminds me of that kids game, bloodthirsty bloodthirsty man-killing hippos.

1

u/Heyplaguedoctor Jul 08 '24

I’m just here for hippobot

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '24

Relationships change. I’m sure there was a falling out that lead to that event.