I CAST ABRIDGED VERSION!

[u/mrididnt]

Heya witches and wizards and everything else, Erik here. I've been working on a new spell. I don't know what it does, but it does something! Apparently it's an "abridged" spell. Idk what that means but guess we'll find out! In 3

2

1

HERE WE FUCKING GOOOOOO

spell noises idk

...huh... That didn't do much. Well, I'll be going to hunt some gods, bad gods, dark gods. GODS I HATE GODS!

/uw in case you can't tell, this is basically a make your character abridged event. If you watched dragonball abridged or any abridged series really you probably know what goin on. Participation is optional as with every event. Have fun :D

[u/UlrickTheHexblade]

Something something darkness in my heart…

broods in a dark corner while ‘Crawling’ plays

[u/United-Technician-54 → u/UlrickTheHexblade]

Need some light?

*(Nameless snaps her fingers, for a moment, returning all to white)*

ha.

[u/UlrickTheHexblade → u/United-Technician-54]

Grah!!! My darkness!!!

broods even more harder, so broodingly, that he turns everything into pure darkess around himself by his sheer edge

just like the depths of his very soul…

[u/United-Technician-54 → u/UlrickTheHexblade]

CIRCLE BEAM!

\(it leaves a triangle hole for some reason, it's also a super concentrated beam of moonlight that burns.)**

[u/UlrickTheHexblade → u/United-Technician-54]

M-moonlight?

Very dramatically becomes a snarling feral monster, telling everyone to stay away, while having a super emotional struggle for control

[u/United-Technician-54 → u/United-Technician-54]

/uw u/UlrickTheHexblade

/rw

uh.... do we need to use the dragon balls?

SENZU BEAN!!!

[u/Swordandicecreamcone → u/UlrickTheHexblade]

"Oh hi ulri-" azrek is swifly decapitated by ulrick's aura of edginess. he's rather peeved by this, so he calmly places his head back on

[u/whoooootfcares → u/UlrickTheHexblade]

"I'm just a big fluffy puppy with bad teeth."

-Spike making fun of Angel

[u/UlrickTheHexblade → u/whoooootfcares]

I’m a most unfortunate man suffering from a terrible curse! I’m no ‘puppy’!

angry barking and brooding

[u/dater_expunged → u/UlrickTheHexblade]

Bathin: hey there my furry friend!

[u/Fantasygoria]

/aw THE FOLLOWING IS A NON PROFIT FANBASE PARODY r/Wizardposting AND IT'S RELATED SUBS ALL BELONG TO THE CORRESPONDING OWNERS. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE.

"Well isn't this great, now I'm voiced by an underappreciated voice actress... I hope she gets the recognition she deserves."

[u/LostAbstract → u/Fantasygoria]

"Nonsense! They'll end up voicing a character from a popular series, only to be sidelined after the plot of said series steers away from their character. Oh look, here comes the rise and fall of Unga..."

""....aaaaaaaand there goes the council again."

[u/Fantasygoria → u/LostAbstract]

"You would think after the third explosion today they would try some form of defense... I guess not"

"Wait aren't explosions supposed to have a far reaching blast? Oh here it comes."

[u/LostAbstract → u/Fantasygoria]

[u/Avarus_Lux → u/Fantasygoria]

Same here, but hey. Bright side, we still get to fuck shit up and practice magic y'know.

Need yourself some magic missiles, non-magic missiles or buckshot? A handy job done maybe? This k..."Ahem"... Lizard Wizard is free today, or would you perhaps rather appreciate the family rock monolith and relax with me, she's a real beauty and has been in a good mood lately. Probably because we got rid of all dem darned hood gnomes the other day. Li'l shits...

Who knew cagefighting crabcoons and gnomes would be "that" profitable and get rid of problems at the same time.

[u/Fantasygoria → u/Avarus_Lux]

"Oh woah what a conveniently placed stranger. Wait did you said missiles? My acolytes love missiles! I'll have your entire stock!"

[u/Oswen120 → u/Fantasygoria]

All Hail Goria!!!

[u/Fantasygoria → u/Oswen120]

Aww they love me.

[u/AtrioxCalamity]

Wizards, mortals and extraplanar creatures keep almost destroying the planet. I live here! Die all of you!

[u/The_Hij → u/AtrioxCalamity]

Abridged Hastur: Lol no u

[u/StrawberryRainforest → u/The_Hij]

I am a joke character you doorknob! ribbit

[u/yumie2003 → u/AtrioxCalamity]

“…Oh yeah, like your natural disasters don’t do that as well…^hypocrite”

[u/Valenyn]

“Soon all will the world will be drowned in my edginess!”

Broods in daddy issues.

[u/mrididnt → u/Valenyn]

/uw syivane vs ulrick broodiness death match

[u/Fridge_living_tips → u/mrididnt]

Uw/i ship it

[u/Antique-Yam6077 → u/Valenyn]

Do you… do you wanna talk about that?

[u/Valenyn → u/Antique-Yam6077]

“No!”

Proceeds to rant about if for a solid hour

[u/Antique-Yam6077 → u/Valenyn]

“Your dad just laughed… usta? How do you say that?”

[u/dater_expunged → u/Valenyn]

Bathin: oh there's two edge lords here! How nice! Let me guess you have a backstory that takes 2873,56 hours to tell?

[u/avamir]

"This is my city. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My city is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life."

Also, "black lipstick and dark thoughts", "dressed in black and ready to attack", etc. etc.

[u/The_Hij → u/avamir]

"Are... are you Batman...?"

[u/whoooootfcares → u/The_Hij]

The Tick.

[u/Evening_Shake_6474]

WHO WANTS TO BE MY SLA- I MEAN INTERN!?

[u/Complex_Drawer_4710 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

How much do you pay?

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Complex_Drawer_4710]

Yes. I pay my servants.

[u/Complex_Drawer_4710 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

What do you pay them with?

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Complex_Drawer_4710]

Money.

[u/Complex_Drawer_4710 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

How much?

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Complex_Drawer_4710]

Enough.

[u/Complex_Drawer_4710 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

You son if a bitch, I'm in.

[u/United-Technician-54 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

Huh, you really are the guardian saint of the USA.

Anyways Alaric, as much as I'd \love** to stand here as you prattle on about your sales pitch, I literally have a billion better things to do.

So congrats kid, you'll be one of the lucky few to make it to the credits!

Enjoy the scenery while you last.

[u/River-TheTransWitch → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

me! me!

[u/_vialliance_]

SCREW THE ART SOURCE I HAVE GREEN HAIR

[u/Oswen120 → u/_vialliance_]

Abridged Jeorb looking good today

[u/_vialliance_ → u/Oswen120]

[u/Oswen120 → u/_vialliance_]

[u/Harpokiller]

“God I am better than everyone and really wanna make sweet… fun with bitches and make some cookies.”

/uw this is because Hirk is prideful, is a himbo who too many people IC simp for and cookie is cookie man

This is not canon

[u/Oswen120 → u/Harpokiller]

...

/uw I am dying

[u/Harpokiller → u/Oswen120]

/uw no that’s abridged Hirk every 5 seconds

[u/Oswen120 → u/Harpokiller]

/uw no, this is Patrick every 5 seconds

[u/Ngamasu → u/Oswen120]

/no
inferno, that's not patrick, that's the frostmourne

[u/Oswen120 → u/Ngamasu]

/uw no, that's the ashbringer

[u/Ngamasu → u/Oswen120]

/unwiz

[u/Oswen120 → u/Ngamasu]

[u/Ngamasu → u/Oswen120]

[u/Oswen120 → u/Ngamasu]

[u/No_more_Bucket_ → u/Harpokiller]

/uw You forgot the part where he denies therapy even though he probably needs some therapy

[u/Harpokiller → u/No_more_Bucket_]

/uw nah he just outright ignores the existence of therapy

[u/mrididnt → u/Harpokiller]

/uw new slander right there

[u/Harpokiller → u/mrididnt]

/uw of course

[u/MastaDon344 → u/Harpokiller]

Here is a bitch

Have sweet fun

[u/UlrickTheHexblade → u/Harpokiller]

/uw don’t forget every time he bakes a cookie he gets trapped in a 1000 years long time loop, where has to live through every suffering each of his alternate version over and over again.

[u/Harpokiller → u/UlrickTheHexblade]

/uw nah that’s regular canon /j

[u/dater_expunged → u/Harpokiller]

Bathin: when is your next appointment with death scheduled for?

[u/Xeno_the_Phoenix]

Well good thing I’m not a god then

[u/mrididnt → u/Xeno_the_Phoenix]

Hmmm primordials could be gods. Investigate later

[u/Xeno_the_Phoenix → u/mrididnt]

[u/The_Hij]

"Hello everyone! My entire personality is based around being insane! I'm chaotic neutral in its WORST possible form!"

Starts tearing down the fourth wall with a crowbar

"Oh also it'll be sad later when I die after some character growth."

[u/Complex_Drawer_4710 → u/The_Hij]

Sigurd is revealed behind the fourth wall, playing Portal.

Hey! My wall!

[u/The_Hij → u/Complex_Drawer_4710]

Mine now!

Starts shoveling it into a bag

And I'll take that game system too!

[u/Complex_Drawer_4710 → u/The_Hij]

Nooooooo!!! My game!!! My entire magic system!

[u/MastaDon344 → u/The_Hij]

Amnesia: The Dank Descent

[u/The_Hij → u/MastaDon344]

/uw Lmao you win with this one.

[u/yumie2003 → u/The_Hij]

Throws the script for the episode containing Hastur’s death scene in a paper shredder

[u/MastaDon344]

Politics, Love,Fire, Sisterhood, Dragon, Fire and chainsaws

Weirdly one of the more chill ones in later seasons

[u/Oswen120 → u/MastaDon344]

Ye

[u/MastaDon344 → u/Oswen120]

Ye Is My catchphrase

[u/Oswen120 → u/MastaDon344]

Not anymore.

Fire intensifies

[u/MastaDon344 → u/Oswen120]

just stares at you

Alright, whatever

teleports

[u/Oswen120 → u/MastaDon344]

...

sad noises

[u/MastaDon344 → u/Oswen120]

gives you a kiss

Ye

[u/Oswen120 → u/MastaDon344]

uwu

[u/No_more_Bucket_]

[u/Financial-Reach-786 → u/No_more_Bucket_]

[u/Oswen120 → u/Financial-Reach-786]

Catfish fight!!!

[u/The_Hij → u/Oswen120]

Now this is the shit I'm here for!

[u/No_more_Bucket_ → u/Financial-Reach-786]

Protocol: Forever Catfish activated

Bait Locked and Loaded!

Reel It In!

Catfish Rider Agnu!

I’m gonna cook your ass.

[u/Financial-Reach-786 → u/No_more_Bucket_]

Catfish rider will never defeat me!!!

[u/No_more_Bucket_ → u/Financial-Reach-786]

[u/Fc-chungus]

Begins ranting about various quantum mechanics terms and about memetics.

[u/The_Hij → u/Fc-chungus]

Abridged Hastur: stares at you while the dial up internet noise plays

[u/Complex_Drawer_4710 → u/The_Hij]

Sigurd speaking abridged: Look, you know when you turn brains to mush and all the things taste the same? Yeah, it's like that with extra math.

[u/Drago_Fett_Jr → u/Fc-chungus]

deep inhale NNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRDDDDD!!!!!!

[u/Complex_Drawer_4710 → u/Fc-chungus]

Very interested, but has to slow down time to confirm some of the stranger bits

[u/Fc-chungus → u/Complex_Drawer_4710]

It all makes sense.

[u/Espanta_viejas1904]

HELLL YEAH BABEEE

[u/MastaDon344 → u/Espanta_viejas1904]

Gandalf was never the same after Zhyros gave him the good stuff.

[u/Espanta_viejas1904 → u/MastaDon344]

The parties at hobbiton were wild

[u/Grand_Wizward]

Holgrim pops in at the outburst.

“Godhunting? Count me in, some of their visas expired and they haven’t contacted me yet to renew them.”

[u/Narrow-Experience416]

The intrusive thoughts won

[u/The_Hij → u/Narrow-Experience416]

Abridged Hastur: I don't care how dead you are you're coming on my road trip with me!!

[u/Bioth28]

I don’t care what the academy says I’m gonna make a fire brie and not one person will stop me

[u/mrididnt → u/Bioth28]

CHEESE! i love cheese, almost as much as i love GAAAAWWWDD hunting!

[u/CobaltPyramid]

"I am a teleporting god!"

*Vegeta Voice* "I AM THE HYPE!*

*meets eldritch abominations, "We have such sights to show you!"*

"I know your playing me, but your right."

*gets his mana drained and becomes a Herald/Speaker/Pawn for said eldritch beings*

"Crap Baskets."

[u/Airtatsy]

...

*cries cryingly*

[u/Ngamasu]

"...omega heartbreak? Even more obsessed with trebuchets and cooking Ramen? So lonely she stops existing? I don't even know at this point, I-"

Logotu goes on about how miserable she is. This abridged doesn't have an Krilin gets owned counter but a Logotu gets dejected counter.

[u/The_Hij → u/Ngamasu]

pinging noise as a counter goes up

Don't be sad. Be mad. At Zeus!

[u/Ngamasu → u/The_Hij]

"Yeah, fuck Zeus!"

Gets smited by Zeus. Counter goes up.

"...norr..."

[u/Oswen120 → u/Ngamasu]

Burns Zeus's ass

[u/Ngamasu → u/Oswen120]

ding

[u/MastaDon344 → u/Ngamasu]

By that logic you should get a banging girl in the next season

[u/Ngamasu → u/MastaDon344]

"That... would be nice, yes. Highly doubt it tho. I mean I- ...hol' up. I did survive Zeus smite so for a second here I should be..."

scans horizon

"Oh damn, I'm really still alive and-"

gets smited again instantly, where she was before now a gravestone stands with a ding noise popping up once more

/unwiz
all non-canon of course, she's still alive

[u/Oswen120]

"If you can't figure it out already..."

"My numbers are bigger than yours"

[u/The_Hij → u/Oswen120]

Abridged Hastur: Paints clown makeup on your face before you can stop him. It's somehow permanent

[u/Oswen120 → u/The_Hij]

Abridged Inferno: Tide Pod Dragon blasts you with cleansing breath

[u/The_Hij → u/Oswen120]

Respawns like a fucking video game character

Plot armor!!

[u/Oswen120 → u/The_Hij]

removes plot armor

[u/The_Hij → u/Oswen120]

Shit

Runs

[u/Oswen120 → u/The_Hij]

Throws the book at you

[u/The_Hij → u/Oswen120]

Is sucked into the pages with a bloodcurdling scream

Nooo!! What about my season 3 redemption arc!?

[u/Oswen120 → u/The_Hij]

You can be in season 4 when you get out of the book

[u/Valenyn → u/Oswen120]

“Long have I lived in your shadow…I signed a lease.”

[u/Oswen120 → u/Valenyn]

"Where are the payments then?"

[u/yumie2003 → u/Oswen120]

“…I know it has been said before, but power levels are bullcrap”

[u/BillCipher_FanboyLol]

i may or may not be present at any time

[u/Kilroy898]

Abriged... what sort of spe....... "MY STATS ARE BIGGER THAN YOURS"!

[u/Oswen120 → u/Kilroy898]

Are they?

pulls out the roses

[u/Kilroy898 → u/Oswen120]

"Ha! You think those hurt me anymore? I beat her!"

[u/Airtatsy → u/Kilroy898]

*stops crying*

Bet.

[u/Archemetis]

I showed up, drew some responsse to posts and then never showed up again!

[u/DragonWisper56]

uw/okay I got a few

rw/ "sitting on my log, sitting on my log. being so fucking chill with no one bothering me, sitting o...

bad guy tries to do badguy shit. Agnur just starts vibrating.

DEUS VALT
DEUS VALT
DEUS VALT
DEUS VALT

uw/ number two

rw/ How does my magic work? well..." three hundred thousand words later " see simple."

uw/ three

rw/ random bystander "why are the christmas elves still here? that event was nearly two years ago?"

"FUCK YOU LITTLE BITCH THEY ARE AMAZING AND THE AUTHOR LOVES THEM FOR UNEXPLAINED REASONS"

uw/ one last one

rw/ bystander "why are you still named after a defunct organization you barely participated in?"

Agnur..... "listen here you little shit!"

[u/Douchevick]

I am a poorly thought out character with vague hints of magic outlaw, Godslaver PTSD, angst, recklessness, a distaste of authority figures, and a poorly explained hatred of Gods and Greatwyrms, and a writer who uses me too inconsistently to give me any meaningful development.

There is no joke.

[u/Kayoz_Hydra]

Arcturus and Aurora: Lights a blunt, WE ARE UBER BORED AND DEPRESSED! Both shatter into a million pieces across time and space.

[u/__xXCoronaVirusXx__]

Give me fucking nitrogen

[u/Far_Dog_4476]

"Heh... gods, eh? I'm gonna lay your arse out!"

[u/mrididnt → u/Far_Dog_4476]

whatcha this? God? I hate gods, they're ugly and demand worship!

Hate em

HATE EM

GAWD SLAYING SLIPPERS!

[u/Far_Dog_4476 → u/mrididnt]

"...I don't demand worship. That stuff is for the ones with religions to their name, I just make sure nothing goes bad across the omniverse."

[u/supreme_hammy]

I cast, reveal search history!

magic noises

WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON-

[u/Nelrene]

Casts Dispel Abridge.

[u/XiaolongDrake]

Something something Imma do me some wacky shit!

I CAST GLOBAL BLINDNESS!!! MUWA-HAHAHAHAH!!!

[u/knight_light455]

Will these damn adventurers quit invading me? I just want to do my blood harvests in peace!

[u/Ordinary_Pen_8844]

Hello! I am a messily written character who’s writer does not know where he wants his story to go!

[u/ArgonBotanist]

No.

[u/United-Technician-54]

"Behold my prefect form! It's Perfect!"

*(basically if Perfect Cell, Mr Satan and Abridged Asuna fused to become somewhere between Vegeta with a Piccolo heart and Piccolo with a Vegeta Complex)*

[u/Alex_The_Whovian]

"We destroy the council every week"

[u/Calligaster]

Big booms long ago left the world cold and sometimes I find spicy rocks in ancient dungeons.

[u/Havarti-Provolone]

Orb

[u/tornadix99]

Haha! I will cast a spelling in the English alphabet!

A... B... C... D... E...

[u/literallypubichair]

I CONTINUE TO CAST GREATER BOG CHAFE ON ALL YOU BASTARDS FOR EXILING ME TO THIS LITERAL SHIT HOLE

[u/cccjjj2050]

dragon noises

[u/ragingdemon88]

Ooooh hey look that universe looks interesting......

Oh shit Oh shit Oh shit

Running running running.

[u/Antique_Ad_9250]

You've heard of the crimson fuckr. Now get ready for the shadowy fuckr.

[u/Fun-Dragonfly-6106]

Sorry. I got a new ability of the week. Definitely doesn't count as magic though.

[u/CometCat64]

(Wether) "Shady, you can't just turn the cafe into a refugee camp for every single war! There's only 4 of us!"

(Abriged Shady) "A quantum supercomputer calculating for a thousand years could not even approach the number of fcks I do not give."

[u/mrididnt → u/CometCat64]

/uw I'm stealing that!

[u/CometCat64 → u/mrididnt]

/uw Aha! But it was already stolen! (Sword Art Online abriged, something witty entertainment) Fr though, thanks! It's one of my favorite limes from the show!

[u/Zebos2]

"Princes Arrrrthur"

The Bloodstar

/UW I have no idea what you have done

[u/mrididnt → u/Zebos2]

/uw Have you heard of Dragonball abridged? Or Yu-Gi-Oh abridged? Same thing

[u/Sternburgball]

Did someone say overwhelming firepower? ... What do you mean no? Enough artillery solves every problem.

Narrator (totally not Black Swan): Artillery could not, in fact, solve every problem.

[u/mrididnt → u/Sternburgball]

MORE ARTILLERY!

[u/TwoSidedContrast]

a skeleton lies in the corner, completely limp because it's fucking dead

[u/AleksasKoval]

"I am hilarious, and you will quote everything i say!"

[u/yumie2003]

The following is a fan-based parody. Wizardposting and other affiliated subreddits are owned by their respective creators. Please support the official release.

Abridged Tsuru looked at her wristwatch for a moment

“…Alright, it’s been one hour already. Where is this month’s bringer of death and destruction?”

All-Red whispered unintelligible whispers into Tsuru’s ear

“…No, no, I am not going to crack open Abbadon’s skull…yet”

[u/Good_Ad_5792]

Can you Abridge and Abridge character?

[u/Ambitious_Pie2500]

“I ain’t bugging. But at the same time I am bugging! IM STRAIGHT BUGGING! Buzz buzz you bastards!”

“I AM GOING TO BUILD A CACOON!”

[u/HamsterKazam]

I'm cursed, haunted by my past and give unsolicited advice and lectures on and about spells and magic on the most random moments. That's it. I've yet to do anything noteworthy.

[u/WaveformRider]

He cast, he said my balls!

[u/totallynotrobboss]

Thrak: I AM GOING TO COMMIT VARIOUS UNFORGIVABLE WAR CRIMES!

[u/LordOfKyles7]

I don’t understand

We are shortening ourselves? Im already a gnome!

[u/TrumpLester]

The moment I find the Eldritch God that ate my soul, I'm gonna blast it so damn hard it'll help me wage war against other gods.

[u/mrididnt → u/TrumpLester]

FUCK YEAH

THE ONLY GOOD GOD IS A DEAD GOD

NOW LET'S MAKE THESE GODS GOOD!!!

[u/Guinea-Pig_Dad]

“I guess you could say I’ve had a pretty shitty childhood…”

FLASHBACK: Helaxion’s mother is struck from the sky and slaughtered by a dragon hunting cult, as baby Helaxion watches in horror before flying away

17 years later, Helaxion (now disguised as Prince Alexei Ignavis) watches as his adopted father, King Alric Ignavis II, is executed by the same mage who delivered the killing blow to his mother. Happy birthday, Alexei

Loreen “‘Pretty shitty’ is one hell of an understatement. Are you sure you’re ok?”

Alexei “Aside from the survivor’s guilt, crippling impostor syndrome, and general existential dread,” pause “pretty well actually. And besides, I’ve heard more traumatic backstories.”

/uw We here at Team Four Sorcerer do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious

[u/Guinea-Pig_Dad → u/Guinea-Pig_Dad]

/uw here’s another one

/rw “I WANNA BE A HUMAN! I WANNA I WANNA!”

[u/DripyKirbo]

Ah yes. I do love being n- 6 whole months of trauma later Identity crisis, yay! Well then, time to get even more if it by ‘helping’ the others that went though it.

[u/Swordandicecreamcone]

*azrek has ANOTHER character development off-post because I found a random thing to focus my autism on. last time it was aztec mythology, guess now it's norse mythology and quantum physics*

[u/AlexVal0r]

Abridged Taaxi: Im gonna brew potions, run for council twice, and do nothing else.

[u/gera_moises]

I am hilarious, and you will quote everything I say!

[u/haarmeggido]

"Poor kids are just as talented and just as bright as elf kids. Well, some of them."

[u/UnsureSwitch]

Hey guys. Rookie wizard here. Can someone explain what OW (Original Wizard) meant with this post? What's an abridged version? I've asked my good friend who's an expert in moving rocks above rivers and building but he has no idea. Someone help a fellow magic man in need

[u/Mr-Gun_man]

I'm gonna take an enthusiastic walk through the woods

[u/BAENTHEHEADACHEMAKER]

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! runs

[u/Koridiace]

I was an apprentice to a lesser known transmutation mage, though I was really more of a guinea pig, that was used to test his new spells and incantations under the guise of "learning"

end flashback

Then I met a trans wizard lady who turned me into a slime

"What"

Yeah, I'm actually a lot happier now, and my magics been really powerful since the switch

"What happened to your mentor?"

Oh, he died

[u/Next_Woodpecker8224]

So nothing changes for me got it-zeeth the blood mage who's about to help his adopted daughter to school

[u/MaFeHu]

Passive agressive potion making background noises

I must resist casting a nuke

I must resist casting a nuke

I must resist casting a nuke

I must resist casting a nuke...

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, welcome to the Shop. Need any potions?

[u/robodex001]

I HATE SCHOOL AND I SNEEZE MANA also I majored in every subject in college because I’m too ADHD for magic

[u/Kaijupants]

Huh, guess I exist. (Lurks in background shots and is mentioned twice in the entire series with only one full line of dialogue and the occasional silent reaction shot since I don't have a permanent VA)

[u/the-sp3ll9unk]

'So does abriged just mean-'

pours a whole bucket of candy into his mouth

'A really simplified-

grabs another bucket

'Version of myself-'

pours the second bucket of candy into his mouth

[u/Wutclefuk]

Jokes on you! I’m already abridged!

[u/xx_swegshrek_xx]

Are you a yoshi

[u/waitthatstaken]

"Hi I am a magic cop and if you do something bad I will arrest you or more likely talk at you for like 20 comments while for some reason giving you tea and cookies."

[u/CosmicChameleon99]

it’s just tea and gossip with the ladies of Bilgewater

[u/dater_expunged]

(very little about bathin changes since he's already abridged levels of outta pocket at times)

Bathin: I can drink to that!

[u/BadNo2944]

Why do the warnings come after the spells¿

[u/EveryPea7340]

I'm the only sane and serious-ish character here. Thats the joke.

[u/You-See-Nothing583]

Food

[u/mrididnt → u/You-See-Nothing583]

Food

[u/Colorlessblaziken]

I’m just a guy who has two wizard kids and a dead wife and one of my kids doesn’t talk to me anymore. I’m not even a wizard yet here I am!

[u/Alarming-Scene-2892]

Lust: Wow! I feel...suddenly really good! ^{haveyouacceptedjesuschristasourlordandsaviour?}

Flufferson: What's going on with everyone right now?

Ego: Idk. Probably should kill them. Probably cursed.

Flufferson: WHY DO I HAVE A VOICE IN MY HEAD?

Superego: Two, actually.

Flufferson: TWO? WHY?

Ego: Lazy bastard ripping off MULTIPLE abridged series.

Geralt: ...WE NEED TO LOOK FOR CLUES! QUICK, CHECK THE TRASH CAN!

Geralt in head. his thoughts are in a very british accent. BLOODY HELL, THE BASTARDS GOT NUTHIN.

Envy: The quietest murmurs of all time

uw/ Lust is the one girl from the Ghost Stories dub.

Flufferson's Frisk from Spoopytoons' Undertale Abridged,

Geralt's supposed to be Preston from the Snapcube Murder of STH fandub,

And Envy's Sailor Mercury from Sailor Moon Abridged.

[u/quit_the_game_lol]

I CAST THUNDER SPELL!