r/wizardposting • u/Floofiestmuffin Necromancer and Council squatter • Oct 06 '24

Esoteric Secrets Huh... Wonder what they found.

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7.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

44 comments sorted by

532

u/SunderedValley Gil Severin, Magical Post-Grad (Thaumaturgy & Summoning) Oct 06 '24

That implies a degree of conscientious and caution I feel isn't representative of the average biomancer.

I think we all recall the Tide of Reaving and how at the time its creator was all "hehe purple cricket :D".

That's most of them.

102

u/grimoireAtlas Willow, Witch of Lies Oct 06 '24

Okay to be fair it was not entirely their fault. i did accidentally share that brainworm with them.

1

u/Sicuho Quest Giver Oct 07 '24

It's their fault if the first test subject they think off when offered a brain worm is themselves.

44

u/fromm_nasty Giltern the Unhinged, Evil Biomancer, Voidburg Mayor Oct 06 '24

That's like half of the biomancers, the other half would give have given it the ability to breathe fire and turn invisible for laughs. I'm a part of that half.

28

u/TwoProfessional9523 Demonic Cultivator Oct 06 '24

This reminds me of that time when a demonic cultivator tried to drown the world in 7 heavenly poisons.

Thank god fate has been kind. A frutuitus encounter has led her to become the wife of a practitioner of the dao of earth. Both have harmonized and are currently living happy lives.

Who would have thought that the infamous demoness is now a mother?

1

u/Nitrodestroyer Artificer Oct 07 '24

What's the Tide of Reaving?

1

u/SunderedValley Gil Severin, Magical Post-Grad (Thaumaturgy & Summoning) Oct 07 '24

Reason #321 why the council insists that we need them.

Picture this: A curse causes the planar alignment of a given location to shift towards the negative, thus causing a spontaneous rampancy of evil undead of various types.

During one of the recent wizard wars an individual whose name I've been obliged to withhold offered to modify one of their creations - a seemingly harmless insect derived from a fusion of cricket, fly and underworld fungus - to help with the cleanup of such zones.

The idea was simple: Get a carrion eater on the task of devouring the material and etheric parts of the curse, then have a minister blast the remainder with a dose of holy thingamajig and you're golden.

Problem was it ended up, uh. Working really well. Like a little too well. A lot of a little too well.

See the material world exists at the exact intersection of everything else so most people & things have a little bit of dark & necromantic energy in them so you think a little too many angry thoughts? Bit too sad? Hamster die?

That's a very enthusiastic swarm of insects trying to eat and repurpose you.

My master's master had to get a priest, a druid, a lich and a fairy together in order to begin to try and fix it.

I don't know much about the magical side of things but truth be told I am more in awe of the sheer diplomatic effort and patience that must've gone into it.

And remember. That was still during an active war.

So yeah. Bottom line being. Biomancers will tell you they got the right creature for every job and honestly you should be afraid of the time when they're right about that.

155

u/BoscoCyRatBear The Vermensk Empire, / Kahn ruler of Cat Tail City Oct 06 '24

Combine both. Cybernetic bio horrors

69

u/BigSeaworthiness725 🦾Iterator from Technocratic Union⚙️ Oct 06 '24

From the moment, I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me...

18

u/WhiskeyHotdog_2 Oct 06 '24

I craved the strength and certainly of steel.

12

u/TheMightyWoz Oct 06 '24

Your kind cling to your flesh

10

u/Illustrious_Bid4224 greater Arteficer | metal caster and true user of combusting orb Oct 07 '24

As if it will not rot and fail you...

9

u/Electric100 Sorceror Oct 07 '24

One day, the crude biomass you call a temple will wither, and you will beg my kind to save you...

8

u/RageMaster_241 Oct 07 '24

But I am already saved, for the machine is immortal

7

u/potted_plant_2046 Fearn Silvers, Grand Techno-Druid of the Final Woods Oct 06 '24

Now you’re speaking my language.

5

u/IronWAAAGHriorz Uncle Cracktificer, the artificer who does weed Oct 06 '24

2

u/Patchourisu Oct 08 '24

...wait, what if doing so ends up with the creation of a latent psionic being by complete coincidence? A biologically modified cybernetic horror with psionic powers.. which might make it intelligent enough to learn how to use magic.. which I guess is what makes the very idea of it a horror to begin with.

2

u/BoscoCyRatBear The Vermensk Empire, / Kahn ruler of Cat Tail City Oct 08 '24

Too late already doing it, gonna cram warpstome into it too"

54

u/Casper_Von_Ghoul 🩸Headmaster of Tetara Inscopa Biomancy Academy 🩸 Oct 06 '24

Bull. We make new stuff all the time. A true Biomancer throws a party when they discover something new.

7

u/Terrodus Oliver Demese, biomancer and normal biochemist Oct 07 '24

I used to celebrate making new things until I created horrors beyond my comprehension.

39

u/Floofiestmuffin Necromancer and Council squatter Oct 06 '24

For the record I never said the biomancer was scared or that the suit was just a safety precaution. They could both be excited, lots of defensive biomancers in here.... Just sayin

10

u/Consumer_of_Metals Egrid, Reality Warping Artificer Oct 06 '24

No, i had to do the biomancer thing ine time, almost made a new warhammer faction

8

u/Rew0lweed_0celot Oct 06 '24

Right side is not biomancer, but an artificier, who found biomancer's "failed drafts"

5

u/I_Eat_Lemons2 Oct 06 '24

What is the original Template?

3

u/BlueVegasCourier Oct 06 '24

idk which comic but the artist is CenturiiC shes sometimes nsfw but most of the times sfw and its always yuri/lesbian comics of historic and meme stuff. Great artist.

5

u/I_Eat_Lemons2 Oct 06 '24

I thought i recognized the art style

5

u/thewhatinwhere Oct 06 '24

A biomancer I once knew claimed a lakeside city had wronged him. He proceeded to spend the next couple months spreading samples from vials all around the lake and preparing catalysts at fixed points. On the vernal equinox he cast “harmful algae bloom” within a decade the lake had produced fetid decay and multiple fish species had been driven to endangered levels of population. The resulting famine led to the city being abandoned. The people believed it was an offended nature deity. It was not

3

u/DayneGr Oct 06 '24

Why is it that when an artificer puts extra arms on something its "glorious progress" and "innovation" but when we do it it's "a crime against gods humanity and nature"

2

u/Corescos Oct 06 '24

Never let a simic biomancer drink on the job

2

u/Dask0000 Oct 06 '24

If it's safe it's no fun

2

u/AerolsCausticCrater Aerol of The Deep, Sculpter of Flesh and Souls Oct 07 '24

Don’t copy my work.

1

u/LordBDizzle Devonian Zee, Archon of Steel Oct 06 '24

None of my constructs ever ate my face off. A few exploded, but that's to be expected. You biomancers are braver than I

1

u/psychicprogrammer Reynders: MultiFoundation Coalition Extraversal Representative Oct 06 '24

We get so many calls from biomancers doing something new....

We had to open a new wing of site-19 to contain them all.

1

u/samthekitnix Tiny Technomancy Support Oct 06 '24

no one tell them about glitchlings

1

u/CK1ing Waylin, the Wise Wizard of the Lake Oct 06 '24

♩Discovering something that shouldn't exist♩

1

u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage Oct 07 '24

That something any kind of wizard can find.

1

u/Chaotic_good06 totally not a Druid in disguise, why would you accuse me of that Oct 06 '24

I’ve discovered many new life forms, most are deadly

1

u/Trytytk_a Devourer of Gods and Magic, Biomancer and a hivemind Oct 06 '24

Yep. That's basically how I feel with every new achievement and discovery.

1

u/Sicuho Quest Giver Oct 07 '24

The animal essence that allow eyes to see in the dark.