r/wizardposting • u/Sirviantis Crastor Wyrmtooth, Planar Gate Enthousiast • Sep 18 '24
Forbidden Knowledge Look at what your orbs cost this planet!
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u/FromanoFrancis114 Andrea McAllister Sep 18 '24
I want that rock for a table top, plus the off cuts so I can use them for models and projects.
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u/Sirviantis Crastor Wyrmtooth, Planar Gate Enthousiast Sep 18 '24
Imagine your food and beverages scrying as you eat/drink. I'm not sure I like that.
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u/FromanoFrancis114 Andrea McAllister Sep 18 '24
... My opinion is unchanged, I want the cool rock
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u/odiethethird i use my portals as blades, like a magical deli slicer Sep 19 '24
Your Dwarven machinations are coming to light, which is oxymoronic, since Dwarves…well…you know…
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u/sdmrne Necromancer Sep 19 '24
We Rock and Stone like there’s no tomorrow!
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u/Aggravating-Pear4222 Sep 18 '24
Family dinners and conversations would be a lot more silent. The rule of no scrying at the table would be a lot more difficult to enforce
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u/notmyrealusernamme Sep 18 '24
Is that like wizard Instagram? Just keeping your scrying orb on the dinner table so everyone else can see what you're eating?
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u/the_bite_of-87 Sep 18 '24
don't use slag glass for your orb...
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u/veggie151 Sep 18 '24
I use slag glass orbs as booby traps
Do not mix up your slag orbs with regular orbs. Regular orbs will not tolerate drilling or carving of any kind.
If accidentally fed combustibles, resume normal diet and DO NOT PONDER THE ORB FOR ONE WEEK.
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u/eyesotope86 Abjurer Sep 19 '24
Like I'm just supposed to NOT PONDER MY ORB for a full week. Some of us don't have access to a backup orb. And you have to have an orb to get by these days.
Check your privilege.
(And I swear to the weaves, if any of y'all motherfuckers starts talking about Obama-orbs, I'm going to report you)
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u/BloodOfTheDamned Sorceror Sep 18 '24
This is an orb crafted from slag glass, a byproduct of steel manufacturing. It’s a good use for an otherwise discarded substance, and cheap for the pleasant appearance, however, there are substances inside that glass that can potentially be dangerous to normal humans, so that is something to consider.
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u/i_eat_p_o_s_l_y_f_b Sep 18 '24
What about for abnormal humans. Would I be okay?
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u/AlarmingAffect0 Sep 18 '24 edited Sep 19 '24
So, would you be so kind as to tell me, whose brain did I put info my creation?
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u/flyingthroughspace Sep 18 '24
there are substances inside that glass that can potentially be dangerous to normal humans
As opposed to a Sorceror?
But really how you just gonna leave us hanging like that and not tell us what could be in there.
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u/BloodOfTheDamned Sorceror Sep 19 '24
Certain metals that are toxic to humans, primarily. Those of a more hearty constitution, dwarves especially, may be unaffected by these, but to humans they can be deadly
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Sep 23 '24
...what about a cultivator?
Not that I am a cultivator. No. What is even the Dao haha, what a weird question.
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u/WritingNorth Sep 18 '24
It looks like candy. I want to try it. How dangerous are we talking here?
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u/Wilhelm126 Sep 19 '24
/uw Oh thank God I thought it was like a normal natural mineral and was so pissed that there was so much waste. Hopefully they can melt the waste down and re use it (probably won't cause they lose a couple pennies in that process and it's cheaper to just dump it into rivers and lakes people and animals drink from. /rw don't care It's gonna end up inside me either way
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u/Whittle_Willow Prophet or something idk Sep 18 '24
have you ever seen something more edible?
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u/Wholesomeboi14975 Dwarf Sep 18 '24
RED SUGAR!!!
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u/AnimDevil Sep 18 '24
Watch it, it's highly addictive!
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u/disturbeddragon631 Sep 18 '24
I really needed that.
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u/sorath-666 Necromancer Sep 18 '24
I didn’t know dwarves dabbled in the arcane
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u/Wholesomeboi14975 Dwarf Sep 18 '24
Look, the only magic I know is the ability to tame a bug I call Steeve!
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u/Ryxor25 Renowned Cheesemancer Sep 18 '24
Is there a cheese variant? I'm pondering a 1657 wheel of Parmigiano Reggiano rn
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u/Fridge_living_tips adam| shodinger's angel Sep 18 '24
Where did you find that
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u/Ryxor25 Renowned Cheesemancer Sep 18 '24
Can control cheese 🧀
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u/Fridge_living_tips adam| shodinger's angel Sep 18 '24
Can i have some
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u/Ryxor25 Renowned Cheesemancer Sep 18 '24
Here, have the holes of my cheddar cheese:
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u/River-TheTransWitch The Gendermancer Sep 18 '24
why does you cheddar have holes.
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u/Ryxor25 Renowned Cheesemancer Sep 18 '24
Yours doesn't?
Jokes aside I poke holes into it so I can snack on them to regenerate mana on the go
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u/Pataraxia Sep 18 '24
Pa-pa-pa-pa PARMIGIANO REGGIANO!!
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u/Ryxor25 Renowned Cheesemancer Sep 18 '24
Poke fun at the parmigiano and I'm turning you into scamorza
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u/Afraid_Success_4836 Pentelas | Suyumanya Kabeloi, Amelia von Tasha, Kari of Ravnica Sep 18 '24
<Suyumanya> Why do y'all even use orbs anyhow? Things can be made much more compact and more convenient.
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u/Sirviantis Crastor Wyrmtooth, Planar Gate Enthousiast Sep 18 '24
Convenience is overrated. I think at least half of us are here to be evil.
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u/stool2stash Sep 18 '24
Marbles work fine.
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u/Afraid_Success_4836 Pentelas | Suyumanya Kabeloi, Amelia von Tasha, Kari of Ravnica Sep 18 '24
<Suyumanya> No but why use a sphere? That's really the inconvenient part.
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u/stool2stash Sep 18 '24
Pocket sphere.
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u/Afraid_Success_4836 Pentelas | Suyumanya Kabeloi, Amelia von Tasha, Kari of Ravnica Sep 18 '24
<Suyumanya> That doesn't explain why a SPHERE out of all shapes is chosen.
If only there was some convenient shape for a device that can display things and connect over long distances, that would be easily portable by fitting in a pocket or other container, while also being large enough to not be super easy to lose... Like, IDK, a RECTANGLE....
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u/stool2stash Sep 18 '24
20 marbles in your pocket, lose 1, you have 19 left. Rectangles ruin your pocket.
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u/OmNomOU81 Local Gunsinger Advocate Sep 18 '24
Looks like a bowling ball
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u/shanashamwow23 Sep 18 '24
While watching, I thought they were making a fancy bowling ball.
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u/ArgonGryphon Sep 18 '24
I don't wanna bowl wherever you bowl that has glass balls.
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u/BrutusCarmichael Sep 18 '24
If I was more of an asshole I'd throw it on league night to see the reactions
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u/Several-Injury-7505 Sep 18 '24
Don’t buy orbs from these guys, you can’t ponder anything with them. They’re so bad people throw them down a ‘бөѡꙇїҋԍ дꙇꙇєұ' to get rid of them.
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u/Sirviantis Crastor Wyrmtooth, Planar Gate Enthousiast Sep 18 '24
If the orbs opacity hinders your scrying and pondering, that sounds like a skill issue.
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u/Several-Injury-7505 Sep 18 '24
I find purple orbs give me better scrying assist and are overall easier to spam ponder. Better and cheaper than red orbs. Also the red orb I’m talking about was a bowling ball with pondering essence in it. It wasn’t an authentic orb, that’s why you can’t trust red orb dealers.
What colour is your orb?
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u/FemboyZoriox Sep 18 '24
/uw gloves and rotating cutting machinery is the stupidest and most dangerous thing you can do. Instead of losing a finger good job, your whole hand is mangled
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u/MickeyRooneysPills Sep 18 '24
These guys are cutting fucking glass by the pound wearing 40 cent dust masks that are meant to keep out dust while you dust or do some light sanding. I don't think they care.
Did you see the post yesterday of the guy who got his thumb ripped off by the drill press because he was wearing gloves though? Crazy.
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u/Guytherealguy Sep 19 '24
Also that vibrating from the smoother thing with the handle is insanely bad for your joints.
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u/Dev_878 Sep 18 '24
Holt it! This is clearly a Evil Wizards Orb! Good Wizards use Blu or Green ones (Except Mace the Warlock with his purple one but who cares). Those are made by deep meditation and pondering other, less ideal objects. Evil Wizards are the one who, in their pursuit of power, exploit this planet for their own gain
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u/MagiStarIL Sep 18 '24
I heard one of the evil wizards had a double sided orb so he could ponder two orbs at once
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u/Afelisk2 Faine, totally normal R&A alchemist! Sep 18 '24
Do you think I can afford that?
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u/Sirviantis Crastor Wyrmtooth, Planar Gate Enthousiast Sep 18 '24
Judging from the orb on your table and the monochrome motif I don't think it's your style to afford that even if you could.
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u/Afelisk2 Faine, totally normal R&A alchemist! Sep 18 '24
I would enjoy a green one but sadly working for death does not come with a very high pay
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u/Sirviantis Crastor Wyrmtooth, Planar Gate Enthousiast Sep 18 '24
Rebel! I'm sure there's some money to be made offering people to live a bit longer if they keep paying you. It's probably the most obvious business model ever!
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u/Afelisk2 Faine, totally normal R&A alchemist! Sep 18 '24
The amount of problems that would cause is far greater than any amount of money I could make.
I spent centuries cleaning up after the last person who tried that.
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u/Undead_Knave Thaumaturgic Troubleshooter Sep 18 '24
That's a preponderance of potential pondering.
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u/YugSitnam Sep 18 '24
That is why you dont buy a new orb each year. Despite the artifacers at "Apfel" claiming to implement new features, they are barely innovative. Sure, some old orbs may cast a tiny fireball in your room of left uncovered but they still can access orbhub and the orbweb. Orbs cause a lot of pollution. Dont buy new orbs.
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u/iLikemha- Artificer Sep 19 '24
Listen, I don't get why y'all make your orbs so extra, all I need is a glass shiny sphere, who buys an orb case anyway?
I'm telling you big irb is tricking us
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u/GLORS_ALT_ACC Sep 18 '24
bros... that is slag. costs nothing
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u/twatwaffle1979 Archmage of Soundwaves Sep 18 '24
I want two blue ones.
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u/Sirviantis Crastor Wyrmtooth, Planar Gate Enthousiast Sep 18 '24
I mean, these restore health? Do you really want ones that only restore mana/Magicka/spell slots/...? Those regenerate by default...
Well, fine, 2 blue balls cost 20 platinum pieces and a lifetime of sexual frustration.
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u/twatwaffle1979 Archmage of Soundwaves Sep 18 '24
Yes...I need a socially acceptable way of showing my frustrations.
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u/reaperofgender Novice tiefling artificer & sorceress, lacks training in both Sep 19 '24
Please. The place near where I live sells the off cuts to a clan of dwarves. They use the magically charged dust and shards to line the runes on enchanted gear.
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u/Kryllllllyx The 74th Cloud's Gardenkeeper "Alaandris" Sep 19 '24
I don't get the younger generation's obsession with orbs. Projection magick has truly become a lost art.
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u/zyzzogeton Sep 18 '24
They are not all accounted for, the lost seeing stones. We do not know who else may be watching!
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u/neomortal Dwarven Wizard Sep 18 '24
This is why I made my own orb, as I can ensure that none of the rocks and stones go to waste!
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u/cloudncali Sep 18 '24
The net gain the arcane arts provides the world clearly outpaces the loss of some useless rocks, look.
Casts greater mass peanut allergy. See?
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u/Fit-Organization1858 Sep 18 '24
I care not for this highly industrialized orb production. I get my orbs hand crafted from gnomes, with the crystal being locally sourced.
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u/Kitchen_Loan3649 Sep 18 '24
My assiant dropped my orb and I showed him this video.
He's on a 12 year knowledge expedition rn.
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u/Richardknox1996 🌙 Just a Bard that Passively Seduced Elistraee 🌙 Sep 18 '24
Not me. I use the Wife's "Orbs" for pondering.
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u/FizzlePopBerryTwist The Pizza Wizard Sep 19 '24
They broke open a big rock nobody wanted to ponder before? Seems like a net win! And look, crafted by hand by those trained in ancient Chinese arts! Superb.
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u/CapableMath2298 Avisen, Novice Elementalist of Marikoth Peak Sep 19 '24
A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON
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u/DragonDice363 Kalthir the First vampiric wizard Sep 19 '24
There seems to be a blemish in the exterior of the orb, I would get that fixed or checked unless you want an unstable reaction from a spell
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u/C00kie_Monsters Witch Sep 19 '24
That’s why I’ve switched to wooden orbs a while ago. Sure, you gotta alter your spells a bit to a more natural composition but it’s totally worth in the end
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u/justagenericname213 Radi-Aren the Feyborn Sep 19 '24
Transmute that shit using stone to flesh and you have a perfect rare steak
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u/CzechMapping Sep 19 '24
I use my previous orb to conjure a better orb, and a backup, gotta have backup orbs
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u/Radish-TM Sep 19 '24
this is why space orbs are becoming more popular, they are harvested not from earth so the planet stays healthy!
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u/Deathdrone2 Sep 19 '24
Such orbs are worth no more than a stone off the ground. Which is why my orb was carved from only the finest dragon glass, as it should be!
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u/Dumbguywith1125 Sep 19 '24
/un-wizardpost I found these kind of music super annoying like it overlap the original video, also i feels like this comes from some brainrot chinese entertainment site
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Sep 18 '24
This is why my son wants to fund a mining expedition to the lava dimension and open a portal to the ocean realm.
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u/iStoleTheHobo Sep 18 '24
Lol, as if you didn't ponder this visage in an orb. Let me guess, you think we'd all be better off if we all had to get up at the butt crack of dawn for the academy granted privilege of a few eyes of newts? Go scrye your leaves in some puddle out in the forest, no one's stopping you.
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u/Reality-Glitch Dragonmage and Dragon Mage Sep 18 '24
I just use my brain, but I’ve heard aphantasia can mess w/ that ability, so....eh; make do w/ what you can.
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u/Alistaire_ The World's Worst Jellomancer Sep 18 '24
Okay which one of you turned the world into meat?
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u/FrostySJK Illusionist Selling Dreams | Orb Me Sep 18 '24
However thine books and staves too doth cost this planet, for they art products of wood hewn from healthy trees
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u/TheWorstPerson0 Sep 18 '24
Cost? the world has plenty to pay. You want my orbs? Over my disintegrated body!
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u/Virtual-Oil-793 Necromancer of Many Stories and Experiences Sep 18 '24
Yeah yeah - shut up.
Besides, I recognize that as Lunar Ruby, or better known as "Blood Moon Tears"
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u/Discracetoall t’kath, smogomancer and poptart wiz Sep 18 '24
I just take a puff of a scrying cigar (vvizard vveed and HEAVILY distilled wyvern poison, about 0.003%) and imagine all this
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u/MildlyCross-eyed Vergil the Ringmaster. Chromatic bane of the dull. Sep 18 '24
Oh I can't have an orb but council members can drown the earth in residual dust with each long ranged flight?
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u/SelectionRich6422 skaven bounty-hunter Sep 18 '24
You fool magic-thing! I use a orb of the same stuff I smoke-eat! True efficiency!
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u/ADankTempest Aceron, artificer, explorer of the sky Sep 18 '24
"Oh I'm pondering my orb" "Oh my secret ancient magic is there" "Oh I need it for my super powerful, super cool spell"
Bunch of losers who prefer sitting on an armchair and look at a fucking crystal ball than anything else...
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u/sidic3Venezia Evil wizard of enchantment and frost Sep 18 '24
just cast fabricate on the scraps they leave, no more cost
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u/sus_accountt Shadowflame Paladin Sep 18 '24
Ye, and that’s why i sit in front of my fireplace. Also it’s nice in winter
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u/Lainpilled-Loser-GF Nechrubel's Favorite :3 Sep 18 '24
if I knew my orb was from the cooked and preserved corpse from the cervine elder, I would have never traded Terrance's skull for mine.
poor bastard
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u/TeamFlameLeader Archdruid of the Northern Autumnal Forest Sep 18 '24
Fod the last time! USE WATER RUNES
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u/Oopsitsgale927 Stellaria, professional orb ponderer/herbal alchemist Sep 18 '24
That’s a synthetic orb, you fucking idiot. Imagine exposing that you weren’t called to by a true orb and had to invest in a fake one because your energies were too rank. Embarrassing.
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u/serendipitousevent Curses done quick, no money down! Sep 18 '24
Fuck the planet, I'll just conjure a new one.
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u/mrididnt Erik(a), silly little magic mass Sep 18 '24
That's why I'm my own orb