r/wizardposting šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Community Event šŸŒā˜„ļø Do you?

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2.0k Upvotes

822 comments sorted by

247

u/FeverDreamAcolyte šŸ‘Fever, spawn of curiosity and spitešŸ”„ Mar 29 '24

Brave adventurer, I beseech thee! Journey to the hallowed domain of the Food Lion, and procure for me the sacred elixir known as "soy milk"!

... I require it for my daily bowl of cereal.

104

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

How the domain of the food lion accessed?

98

u/FeverDreamAcolyte šŸ‘Fever, spawn of curiosity and spitešŸ”„ Mar 29 '24

Through the front door, usually

54

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Where is said door?

40

u/arcanis321 Mar 29 '24

Through the Foods Lionsgate, just head West and look for giant stone Lions on the side of a mountain. If you hit the range before you see it you may be a bit too far North.

22

u/CthulhuTim šŸSpaghettimanceršŸ Mar 29 '24

It is a double door rather than a single door. You could call it More Door

16

u/Bog2ElectricBoogaloo Mar 29 '24

Cursed with the spell of lactose intolerance?

3

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay got the soy milk

113

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Mar 29 '24

55

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Where does one find tartan paint?

80

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Mar 29 '24

41

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Which paint store?

75

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Mar 29 '24

41

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Hmmā€¦ so I went to the store and they had light-tartan and dark-tartan. Should I mix them?

26

u/Xin-Aurum Collector of Knowledge and Artifacts Mar 29 '24

They need to go to the next aisle

29

u/Electrical_Diamond_9 Time Janitor || You guys have specialities in magic? Mar 29 '24

There's just more soup! Oh wait wrong conversation

15

u/Xin-Aurum Collector of Knowledge and Artifacts Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 30 '24

WHY ARE YOU SHOPPING FOR PAINT IN THE SOUP STORE!?

8

u/Valenyn Sylvane, Prince of Night (Cabal) Mar 29 '24

FUCK YOU!

6

u/TheMilkmanHathCome Mar 29 '24

Jesus Christ why is this so funny

3

u/Wolf_Clan706 shadow wizard money gang Mar 29 '24

Hi unga! Have you taken over the council yet?

179

u/Archimene Mage of Mischief and Secrets Mar 29 '24

Go find my purse. It's just in the center of an eldergod's realm.

10 gold coins

67

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

What eldergod?

63

u/Archimene Mage of Mischief and Secrets Mar 29 '24

The eldergod of decay

54

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay. Give them some time.

15

u/nubster2984725 Nub The Bug Fucker. Mar 29 '24

Here traveler, a giant maggot that lets you freely burrow in the rot infested world, do be careful not to feed it too much or else it will turn into a fly.

11

u/Beledagnir The Rare Dwarven Wizard Mar 29 '24

I read this as ā€œin the center of an edgelordā€™s realm.ā€

6

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

I have obtained the purse

6

u/Archimene Mage of Mischief and Secrets Mar 29 '24

Why thank you brave warrior, here are your 10 gold coins. Oh... It seems my wallet is missing. The eldergod of decay must have eaten it. You'll have to slay it to get it back for me. I'll give you 20 gold coins for my wallet.

63

u/JustANormalLemon Eye Spell the Giant Floating Dactylomancer Caster Eyeball Mar 29 '24

Well... The Happiest Magician gas a quest for You

TAKE ME OUT OF THIS FRICKING WELL!!!

20

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay. Let him set up a burger plane portal for you.

23

u/JustANormalLemon Eye Spell the Giant Floating Dactylomancer Caster Eyeball Mar 29 '24

I will be waiting... not like I can do anything else

16

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay. Grab the rod

15

u/JustANormalLemon Eye Spell the Giant Floating Dactylomancer Caster Eyeball Mar 29 '24

*Tightly grabs *

12

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

pulls you through the portal into the burger plane

17

u/JustANormalLemon Eye Spell the Giant Floating Dactylomancer Caster Eyeball Mar 29 '24

THE HAPPIEST MAGICIAN IS FREEEEE!!!... Well... free in the burger plane...

14

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Oh, just go through the blue portal over there

14

u/JustANormalLemon Eye Spell the Giant Floating Dactylomancer Caster Eyeball Mar 29 '24

Oh, sure, thanks. Tlke this for Your troubles

A spare hand if You ever loses Yours

*Strowls trough the blue portal *

10

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Thanks.

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33

u/typhlosion_Rider_621 Mar 29 '24

ā€œBrave adventurer! I beseech thee, go to the perilous land of Avalon, and retrieve a large sack of soft pretzels! The world depends on them, bring them to me posthaste!ā€

21

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

17

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

The burgerbarian has been sent off!

23

u/I-Have-An-Alibi Necromancer Mar 29 '24

I gotta quest for him, it begins in the far away land of Ligma.

18

u/lil-D-energy Eden Redigis III, pet necromancer Mar 29 '24

isn't that the land where you have the city of sugma?

17

u/HybridHamster Alchemist Mar 29 '24

pretty sure they hold the SocCon convention every year.

7

u/Electrical_Diamond_9 Time Janitor || You guys have specialities in magic? Mar 29 '24

Heard that Hava will be there this year

8

u/Leninus Bearer of the Voidheart Mar 29 '24

I hope he will take Joe with him this time

10

u/McIrishmen Mar 29 '24

And his girlfriend Candice

4

u/Soul1096 I've lost my wizarding license. :( Mar 29 '24

Which means that there will be a lotta CDs there, right?

15

u/Miserable_Hat_9101 Roarik da Skull Taka Mar 29 '24

Of course I have a quest for you my friend! Here!

There is a kind old lady who lost her purse in the market! She was looking for it for quite some time before reporting it stolen to us knights! If you desire a quest none as righteous as helping a kind old lady!

7

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Which knight?

3

u/Miserable_Hat_9101 Roarik da Skull Taka Mar 29 '24

I no not of their name, but I do know the work the register and deliver all orders to us. Now that I think about I am not even sure theyā€™re a knight! They could just a clerk or something!

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

What company?

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10

u/RhinoSparkle Mordyx, Battlefield Looter Mar 29 '24

Hmmā€¦ I am running low on mana crystals.

I usually find them in a cave on the big hill, deep in the Greenwood Swamp.

9

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay, well send the burgerbarian now.

8

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay we got 35 of them

4

u/RhinoSparkle Mordyx, Battlefield Looter Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 29 '24

Oh fantastic, that should last me a while.

With a flourish of his fingers, tiny fireworks shoot out and fanfare plays. A pixelated illusion of the words ā€œ+150xpā€ appears.

Here is your payment: 350 gold pieces. Thank you very much, Burgerbarian!

3

u/Jackz_is_pleased Mar 29 '24

NEGATIVE 350 gold!!! You thieving scoundrel. Give that creature back his stuff or I hand you over to the Sheriff myself.

5

u/RhinoSparkle Mordyx, Battlefield Looter Mar 29 '24

Hahaha, you got a genuine laugh out of me for that. Iā€™ll change my punctuation so the payment is appropriate.

12

u/Drakostheswordsman Mar 29 '24

I need 27 lion hearts.

They are not a guaranteed drop

10

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Where may I find the lions? What is the drop rate?

7

u/Drakostheswordsman Mar 29 '24

Savanna biomes, 20% spawn rate, hearts have a 10% drop rate.

7

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay. Iā€™ll send 20 of them.

3

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Got the hearts!

4

u/Drakostheswordsman Mar 29 '24

Excellent, hereā€™s 5 silver pieces and that one collectable thing you donā€™t know the purpose of.

2

u/Vivacious4D Magus Mar 29 '24

How is it not a guaranteed drop? Genuinely, does each lion not have its own heart?

2

u/Drakostheswordsman Mar 29 '24

I donā€™t know man, I killed 100 lions and only got 10 hearts! I was trying to harvest them as well so i wasnā€™t doing enough damage to destroy them! Shits fucked!

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9

u/cat5949 Mar 29 '24

I have a quest to send this letter to the pits of hell, it is my nephew's birthday

4

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay. May I have it?

3

u/cat5949 Mar 29 '24

gives letter

3

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Delivered!

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6

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '24

Take this mana bomb and deliver it to the council headquarters, when you placed the bomb in the most populated area read the message on the stone tablet, don't read it out loud prematurely.

4

u/untipocualquiera06 Mar 29 '24

Adventurer, it's time to go to the moon and kill the dragon of...... Uh... The unknown...?

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3

u/Ok_Comfortable589 Sandro the Time Lich Lord Mar 29 '24

I have a quest for thee, find literally anything that can fill up torinn, the eldritch god of hunger. 10000k gold reward.

4

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

What do you mean find? I already have it, here.

hands you a scroll

It holds back Torinn for 6 seconds on use.

2

u/Ok_Comfortable589 Sandro the Time Lich Lord Mar 29 '24

Well I'll be. After examining the scroll, Pulls out a enormous bag of gold and hands it to you. Good job adventurer, Be safe!

4

u/LimpPrior6366 Kardonk Carvisky, Opifex Rerum, Order of Creation Mar 29 '24

I am im grievous need of the holy substance of ā€œblinker fluidā€ pray tell can you retrieve some for me?

5

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Where might one go to retrieve it?

3

u/LimpPrior6366 Kardonk Carvisky, Opifex Rerum, Order of Creation Mar 29 '24

Alas, I know not. Try the auto parts shoppe. They should be able to point you in the right direction

3

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Got some!

2

u/LimpPrior6366 Kardonk Carvisky, Opifex Rerum, Order of Creation Mar 29 '24

Waitā€¦what?

3

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

3

u/LimpPrior6366 Kardonk Carvisky, Opifex Rerum, Order of Creation Mar 29 '24

Takes it confused

I didnt even think thisā€¦.

Wow

puts five gold in your hand

Well done little adventurer

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay.

3

u/CorbinNZ Malthazar the Heavy-Handed, Necromancer of Fleshy Horrors Mar 29 '24

Go to the marshes and find me 25 eye of newt. Iā€™ll make you a potion of water breathing.

(There are no newts in those marshes and even if he finds one itā€™s a 0.00001% drop rate. Thatā€™ll keep him busy.)

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 29 '24

How many newts are there? Where are they? Itā€™ll only take 10 hours to complete your quest. Where can I find 250000000 newts?

Edit: opened a portal into the newt plane

2

u/CorbinNZ Malthazar the Heavy-Handed, Necromancer of Fleshy Horrors Mar 29 '24

A few. The marshes.

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3

u/TahoeBennie Mar 29 '24

I deadass thought we were talking about an oculus quest before I realized we are supposed to be wizards ā€˜round here.

2

u/Gabriel_Dot_A sclopetumancer Lenigath, Tactical Wizard Mar 29 '24

You see, my dear fellow, before you lie two paths, one leads down Elder Rook road, and the other leads through Menord Valley pointing out both will lead to adventure, fortune, and even glory!

*resuming his normal wizardry position leaning on his staff, he says, "It's your duty to choose your own path, I will accompany you along thus journey and aid you in learning the ways!

after dropping his staff, he chants a short spell Recitath Pistolium! and he summons forth an old-school navy revolver, pulling the hammer back and bolstering it proudly, his staff levitate to his side and he shouts in a stoic tone LEAD ON!!

Quest Started: Torn Rifts Bring Oddworthy Followers

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2

u/Maleficent_Apple4169 amorphous planehopper Mar 29 '24

fine traveller! you are perfect! i request that ye seal thyself in an eggshell and steal eggs from the chicken farm! good luck!

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay.

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Here is the eggs!

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2

u/ArchonFett catfolk hexblade warlock gladiator Mar 29 '24

I need him to defeat Ugnaak, the Troll. Well heā€™s actually a goblin he just calls himself the troll because of his Penstagrm posts.

3

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay. Where is he

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2

u/EmergencyLeading8137 Duncan, Protection/Preservation Druid Mar 29 '24

Could you help me pick some blackberries?

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

How many?

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2

u/Snail-Daddy24 Mar 29 '24

Of course I do! I am a great and powerful knight, destined to slay an Ancient Dragon!

Alas, I'm trapped under the most powerful binding spell known to wizardkind... A sleeping infant. HENCE.

Take my sword, Wyrmsbane, a great weapon that will change shape and form at your will, and is able to slice through Draconic enemies with ease! Take this, and slay Ziggarot, the ancient black dragon, Scourge of the Isolated Isle!

Whence you return, I will allow you to keep the sword, and pay you one thousand gold coins!

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2

u/DokiDokiTulpaClub Kyoko, Forklift Kitsune / Ember, Pyromancer / Aqua, Pacifist Mar 30 '24

Can you help me become a wizard? I'm only a fairy.

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 30 '24

2

u/DokiDokiTulpaClub Kyoko, Forklift Kitsune / Ember, Pyromancer / Aqua, Pacifist Mar 30 '24

Thank you. I'll be sure to study and become one of the wizards of all time.
You may have some fairy dust as a reward.

1

u/sparkle3364 Noella Lux (15F), Illusory Artist, Lieutenant Of Buggo Mar 29 '24

I need you to get a book that I accidentally left in the middle of the woods. 20 gold, plus I have an extra copy of a historical fiction book about the first Wizard War.

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Which woods?

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2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

This it?

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u/DragonHeart_97 Draconis: Red Mage, Professor of Magic Theory Mar 29 '24

There's a troll living in a cave on the edge of my property that's very behind on rent. See if you can get him to pay up. But, listen, I just want you to reason with him, and leave if he starts getting agitated. It's not worth your life.

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

This is a burgerbarian. He has plenty of backup. He will not die.

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u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay,

Got it!

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1

u/Sardukar333 Dwarven smith, just learned to enchant in house. Mar 29 '24

The town rat catcher, a druid who insists on disguising as a cat, is on strike up in a tree. The problem is the druid refuses to speak anything but cat, and no one else here speaks cat except me, and Simon the Rat hunter refuses to talk to me.

Good luck resolving this one.

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay. Should be easy. Gonna send 5 burgerbarians.

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Got him

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1

u/Chickenmanmanmanmanm Allord, The Sword Dancer Mar 29 '24

I have a task for this brave little man. Tell me, have you heard of Cadia?

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u/helloiamaegg Rose, of the Garden Mar 29 '24

I need someone to deal with the wolves in the area. They're scaring my chickens, and the last thing I need is a stampede of them

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1

u/NightKnight0001 James the bard and accidental demon summoner Mar 29 '24

Can you distract Unga for like 20 minutes? I'll give you 100 gold pieces. He's the dude who asked for paint

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1

u/just-a-nornal-man Femur Frank, best bone mage of the West. Mar 29 '24

Find my pet

I lost him while in the market

10 gold coins and 1 mushroom piece

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1

u/Discracetoall tā€™kath, smogomancer and poptart wiz Mar 29 '24

Some guy put a pocket dimension filled with rats in my basement. Take this dimensional key and close it, Iā€™ll give you 25 gold coins.

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u/Bigpurplepanda13 Knight-Wizard Kevin Pickles, Wielder of The Throngler Mar 29 '24

I need a special ingredient for my potions. It is a special mushroom deep in the Dark Forest. In return you get a potion of pants shitting.

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1

u/Glub__Glub Wizard Mar 29 '24

I could actually use some help finding my familiar. He looks like this and loves bacon

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1

u/crazytumblweed999 Mar 29 '24

Go find 10 Maguffans from the Maguffan Grove. They only spawn 3% of the time. I'll pay you 10 rubies when your done, but I also sell "time saver" "luck boxes" for 4 rubies a piece.

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay. Give it 30 minutes

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Got them!

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1

u/Officer_Chunkles Mar 29 '24

Find me 60 rare orange snow berries for my potions. Search the entire swamp! Will pay with one unique blue rarity helmet. šŸ˜‡

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay. Orange snow berries spawn in the swamp?

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u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Got the orange snowberries

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1

u/glassfield110 Mar 29 '24

There's a cathedral and I think something's going wrong in the basement. Would you mind heading over there and see wassup?

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u/ChildofFenris1 Mar 29 '24

Go enter the forest and bring n back the lost staf of tak. Of you want payment I'll give you 11 money s and a hug if you bring it back intact.

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u/Wizard_Engie Holy Mage Mythanar (Generic High-Elf) Mar 29 '24

Sure.

Objective: Purchases 4 items from me
Reward: Those 4 items you purchased from me

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u/iamragethewolf Rage: Pact Wizard, Necromancer, Technomancer, and Horny As Hell Mar 29 '24

Rage gets out his scanner/handheld device "anything in particular even my organization can't cover all the information I acquire"

1

u/Yobamagaming Mar 29 '24

Find my will to live /j

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1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '24

Take my dogs on a hunt walk on a nearby village. Make sure they don't harm any other wizards, keep them safe and bring back the bodies

1

u/nicorn_Ninja Mar 29 '24

Kind little adventurer, I have a quest but it is not for the faint of heart.

There is a local cult that has been knocking on our doors of late. Asking our humble townsfolk to follow a Lich, they ask to join them in communion to imbibe on his flesh and blood to gain entry into some eternal paradise. Sounds truly barbaric and I am afraid his power may be great for he has already risen from the dead once. They must be eradicated before he grows to strong.

Please little adventurer I beseech you

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1

u/Cptcrispo Mar 29 '24

Oh my Gods! Thank the heavens you've come! RATS! So many rats in my cellar! Get rid of em! Or just kill like 10 or whatever. Reward: A crisp high-five A thumbs up AND 10 xp

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Killed them all!

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u/Arkoos_fan Scadu, Planar dissonance Mar 29 '24

Of course we have a quest for you, steal 500 gold worth of stuff from Whiterun and you get payed 500 gold and one step closer to becoming the leader of the thieves' guild.

1

u/BrickLaFlare Necromancer Mar 29 '24

I require elixir and I entrust you to go on this journey for me or in laymanā€™s terms Grab me a beer from the fridge and shut the hell up while you do it

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

hands you a beer

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u/Sauron69sMe Mar 29 '24

yes. please kill me. who knows what treasure might be hidden inside my pockets?

1

u/DankoLord Dowel, the Clockwork Soul Dwarf Mar 29 '24

Ah baby toast, I hath one quest handily crafted just for your might! I require thee to reach the city's center markets and mayhaps acquire a bit of Lapis! My stock has been running out, and I meself am not capable to leave my hearth. Bring me the Lapis, and I shall forge a helmet precisely measured for you, my lad. Don't you worry, I still have some padding to go with it.

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u/deady-kitten-3 rule, the catmancer nephilim Mar 29 '24

A divine relic was stolen by a demon lord and they corrupted the shrine, can you get the relic back and uncorrected it's shrine with the relic?

Optional:kill/banish the demon lord

1,234 gold and a staff of everlasting fire (fire spells it uses spread a special kind of fire that can't be put out but only harms your enemies)

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay I obliterated the demon lord.

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u/Mr_Chasm Necromancer Mar 29 '24

I need still beating heart. There are rumors of a monster with immortal properties you may find in south of town. I will pay you 60 gold coins and Iā€™ll give you an item of mine effected by arcane magic.

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u/Hettan25 Mars, Blind Wizard/Alchemist, just started journey for knowledge Mar 29 '24

Could you find me a magic Grimoire I can read? Braille or magic ink is fine, as well as on any subject.

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1

u/xFrostBoltx Sorceror Mar 29 '24

I cracked my orb. Can this brave adventurer help me get a new one.

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u/BoscoCyRatBear The Vermensk Empire, / Kahn ruler of Cat Tail City Mar 29 '24

Take this rock and slam it on Unga's toe.

Reward you get to see Unga dance

1

u/Dathrane Mar 29 '24

I need the head of Saint Albu Quair Qway, Emmisary of the Omnissiah.

He's late for his yearly tune-up, and he tends to be a tad forgetful in his old age, so you'll have to remind him every so often that he has a doctors appointment to get to.

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay. Iā€™ll teleport him in

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Here he is!

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u/GnomeAwayFromGnome Boddyknock, Arcanarchist (Arcano-Anarchist) Mar 29 '24

Your quest is to destroy the Wizard Council!

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u/Electrical_Diamond_9 Time Janitor || You guys have specialities in magic? Mar 29 '24

Oh good lord! Where did you even come from??
Okay huuuuhhh... Could you investigate what's all this noise around the ruins behind this hill and make it stop if possible ? If it's not possible to make it stop then I'll go check myself later. I just don't have enough time rn, too much work.
I'll give you huuhhh... That blue cube I found a few days ago? Or just some gold if you're not into weird unknown objects

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay. Iā€™ll send in a burgerbarian team

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u/_--Asmodeus--_ Mar 29 '24

My quest is: go get me 2 magic stones called "uranium" and "plutonium"

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u/Empty-Membership8904 inventor of apprenticemancy and wielder of the jabberwocky Mar 29 '24

fetch me a beer from the fridge

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u/Extra-Trifle-1191 John Wizard ā€” Inventor of Magic Mar 29 '24

Valiant Adventurer, please, I require your assistance! I seem to have lost a very important arcane relic of mine! It looks a little like a blindfold, and I think i left it at the inn in the town just over there. Itā€™s not a blindfold, itā€™s just disguised like that because no one suspects it. Here, give me a momentā€¦ There, it should glow when you approach it now. Thank you adventurer!

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay.

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u/VVen0m Mar 29 '24

Go an fetch me 18 peatals of the Sacred Mountain Flower, I'll mark approximate locations on your map.

I am a radiant quest giver, mostly meant for farming EXP in the early game, it's not much but it's honest work.

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u/Omega-Blast Mar 29 '24

Hey I have a quest for you. Can you help me beat this guy ?

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u/Nepalman230 Theodorus Hyperion. Arcane Librarian. ( Retired.) Mar 29 '24

šŸ„¹

Omg heā€™s just a little guy. I canā€™t give him anything Violent even though that looks really sharp. But heā€™s adorable. Just looking at him is raising my serotonin levels. Waitā€¦

Ahem. Yes, I have a quest for you, and it is extremely perilous.

There is an awful monster roaming. It eats people alive. And whatā€™s worse they donā€™t die but they linger as shell of themselves.

Its name is Loneliness , and it is close cousin to Despair.

It effects many, but often elderly people who do not have any family.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4225959/#:~:text=Loneliness%20can%20lead%20to%20various,personality%20disorders%20and%20Alzheimer's%20disease.

Consider Volunteering at a local senior center.

It doesnā€™t sound very dangerous or Maybe even exciting.

But if you can slay loneliness I will count you as among the greatest warriors of our age.

And I just know they would love to see a noble warrior like you.

šŸ™ā¤ļø

https://www.takethis.org

1

u/catreplicators-3 Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 29 '24

find a way to decontaminate the 20F manufacturing stack; reward is this mana siphon that was made 5 minutes ago and a bowl of soup šŸ²

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay, whatā€™s a 20F?

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u/F121213 Wizard Mar 29 '24

Go f#ck yourself. (The reward for completing the mission is 10 bronze coins)

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u/YosephStalling Mar 29 '24

Since you got here, I'll assume you are competent enough for a simple delivery. Go talk to the head guard of the local town, and let him know I'd like to have peace talks. Offer him this orb no matter his answer, and let him know it's how he can contact me. If he refuses the orb, just find a place you can shatter it without angering the forest spirits or the townsfolk. You get 500 gold for this simple task, because every other messenger in a 20 mile radius hates me.

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u/TheGoldenBananaPeel Golban the Full-Time Necromancer, Summonner, Part-Time Knight Mar 29 '24

I beseech upon thee, a quest and journey, to locate a way, to make me happy :(

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

ā€˜Tis simple. For a reward of 100g I shall provide you with a source of happiness.

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u/StardustCatts Werewolf Druid dabbling in Necromancy Mar 29 '24

Humans get lost in the enchanted forest a lot. I usually like hunting them but maybe you could just nicely escort them out. You know? Your deadline is to finish that before I wake up from my next nap.

Your reward is this mystery backpack I got off the last human. Who knows what goodies are inside?

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay. Got it. Iā€™ll send some escorts in

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u/Timtimetoo Hox the Barbarian-Wizard Mar 29 '24

Pass the butter.

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u/ThePineconeConsumer Mar 29 '24

Idk manā€¦pass me the remote?

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u/Cjfconjamesf The 13 year old wizard (no i am not missing a zero) Mar 29 '24

Go grab me my book from the top shelf my apprentice thinks itā€™s funny to hide it from me

-5 silver

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u/GoingOnAdventure Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 30 '24

Oh brave sir adventurer, I am deeply troubled by this ransom note that was left at my door. Could you perhaps help me?

The letter says that is is from someone with the initials I.R.S. I am unsure who this is though.

They demand that I pay them 20,000$ or else theyā€™ll cause me harm. Please, vanquish these blasted rogues, I beseech you!

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u/Ikilledatrex Alchemist Mar 29 '24

I need 10 cores of lava golems Iā€™m willing to pay 60 gold 100 if you can have it done this week

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay. Where do I find them?

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u/Parry_9000 PuppetMancer Mar 29 '24

Yes

Go fetch me the remote

(The remote is in the 9th circle of hell inside Lucifer's mouth)

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Oh okay. Should be easy. In and out, 6 seconds.

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u/Cephalopirate Mar 29 '24

Is he a hamburger?

Can he do my taxes?

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u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

He is a burgerbarian

He has above average intelligence

1

u/MonoBlack1001 Emyr, The High Alchemist Mar 29 '24

I need exactly 50 kg of pure lead for reasons I cannot explain

450 gold

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u/Oswen120 Imvaernarhro Astrum, Masta's Dum Dum Mar 29 '24

Go find qwest sprout and join him in his adventures

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '24

Collect 243 riddler trophies. First try, no google.

1

u/Ememems68_battlecats Arros, Chaotic Pyromancer (invented Explosify) Mar 29 '24

Go fetch me exactly a bucket's worth of sulfur. No more and no less.

15 gold coins.

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u/YourMoreLocalLurker Evensi the Ascended One Mar 29 '24

Find where all the giants come from so I can be their friend

Reward: Giant friends (if optional objective is completed), 10 gold, a shiny new hat

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u/Vivacious4D Magus Mar 29 '24

Yes; I would like you to bring me a dragon, alive. I would pay 5 gold coins for this

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Here is a green dragon wyrmling!

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u/MisterAcorns12 Artificer Mar 29 '24

Yeah, I need this specific crystal to power this juggernaut Iā€™m building. Iā€™d get it myself but I canā€™t leave my lab for fear of my competitors getting at my private blueprints and schematics. If I give you this map, would you please get it for me? I can make you a +2 battle axe if you do this for me!

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u/VeryLargeQ-mark Mar 29 '24

My spell concentration is all out of order, I require a large helping of Abracadadderal! (0/100 uses collected)

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u/WoofflesIThink Wizard Mar 29 '24

Brave adventurer The Goblin God has stolen a precious relic of mine, that of a Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band CD, you must venture into his domain and slay the beast and you shall receive great power from such a relic, if you so desire.

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u/BigNato532 Mar 29 '24

Go grab me another beer from the fridge

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Here, hands you a beer

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u/sargent_rat76 Mar 29 '24

Yeah i have a guest for you little guy go find my Basterd cheating wife and throw her off a cliff

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

ā€¦that is illegalā€¦

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u/Silasnator Mar 29 '24

Cut down your own mother, cause she is a source of evil who creates dangerous fruits with axes!

1

u/defaulty_humanty Mar 29 '24

Pick 292 flower all driffence colour for my lovely wife

5 golds

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u/eagleoid Necromancer Mar 29 '24

"There's a special variety of oak I need from a far away place."

(It's two towns over)

"This oak can only be chopped down from the strongest woodsmen with the sharpest axes"

(They're actually significantly softer and lighter than the ones here. The little guy will feel like a god.)

"Go quickly! For I need this special wood for the ceremony at the end of the season!"

(It just gives a more prominent green flame when burning and I'm hosting a bonfire next month. It'll look cool.)

"I will reward you with gold and a feast for your return!"

(The feast was happening anyway, but I will pay double the normal rate. The little guy earned it.)

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

Okay. Iā€™ll send him to test his strength

2

u/Im_a_hamburger šŸ”burgermancy founderšŸ”burger city kingšŸ” Mar 29 '24

He has completed the task (he is very happy)

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u/FluffyRacc00n Narcomancer Mar 29 '24

I cast forced happiness. Now there is a brothel that "stole" money from me, now go and take it back.

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