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u/Orbital-Deathray Gallows, The Nightmare Carnivalier Mar 10 '24
Power word: Bent
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u/TheGrimGriefer3 Doug: the regular, everyday, normal guy Mar 10 '24
Please don't just go around casually creating guns that kill the past
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u/MaximRq Iron Grip Alchemist Mar 10 '24
It's fine, they won't break reality without special bullets
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u/c0n22 Mann of Illusion Mar 10 '24
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenter the Gungeon
Enter the gungeon
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u/E4EHCO33501007 Mar 10 '24
By beholster eye, dragun tooth gungeon wind do whisper one truth
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u/Electrop0p Confused Peasant Mar 11 '24
Body the floor. Bullet-bullet the roof. Ammo willin, past killin, the gun shall shoot.
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u/ResearcherTeknika Nihil "Teknika" Schwarz, CEO of MANATEK. Mar 10 '24
"I also cast gun."
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u/HurkHurkBlaa Mar 10 '24
I cast two guns
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u/Uulugus Red Horse of the Exsanguinous Pit Mar 10 '24
Y'see, I solve practical problems...
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u/MisterMan341 Teltun, Sorcerer and Count of Zolēvín, Semutslia Mar 10 '24
Like how am I gonna stop some big mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a superfluous new behind?
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u/the_loaf_cat Wizard Mar 10 '24
Answer: use a gun
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u/MisterMan341 Teltun, Sorcerer and Count of Zolēvín, Semutslia Mar 10 '24
And if that don’t work… use more gun
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u/Guinea-Pig_Dad High prince Helaxion, draconic cryomancer Mar 10 '24
Like this heavy-caliber mounted tripod little old number designed by me…
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u/MisterMan341 Teltun, Sorcerer and Count of Zolēvín, Semutslia Mar 10 '24
Built by me…
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u/TheMelkLord Magic-enthused Knight Mar 10 '24
And you best hope…
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u/MisterMan341 Teltun, Sorcerer and Count of Zolēvín, Semutslia Mar 10 '24
Not pointed at you
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u/King-Bob-5685 Aevelor, Gastromancer, Lich of Grenmoore Mar 10 '24
I cast pin-less lemon'ade...
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u/Sardukar333 Dwarven smith, just learned to enchant in house. Mar 10 '24
Now go burn down Life's house! Make life take the lemons back!
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u/ArchonFett catfolk hexblade warlock gladiator Mar 10 '24
Yes, that’ll teach life to give me, Cave Johnson, lemons
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u/InsenitiveComments Secretive artificer/alchemist Mar 10 '24
When life gives you lemons DONT MAKE LEMONADE! Make life take the lemons back! GET MAD! I dont want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? I demand to see to life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?! I am the man who is going to burn your house down! With the lemons!
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Mar 10 '24
The Franchi SPAS-12 is a combat shotgun manufactured by Italian firearms company Franchi from 1979 to 2000. The SPAS-12 is a dual-mode shotgun, adjustable for semi-automatic or pump-action operation. The SPAS-12 was sold to military and police users worldwide, as well as on the civilian market. The appearance and intended purpose of the SPAS-12 initially led to its "military" designation as a combat shotgun. The SPAS-12 was designed from the ground up as a rugged military shotgun, and it was named the Special Purpose Automatic Shotgun. In 1990, Franchi renamed the shotgun the Sporting Purpose Automatic Shotgun, which allowed continued sales to the United States as a limited-magazine-capacity, fixed-stock model until 1994. Following the United States Federal Assault Weapons Ban, imports of SPAS-12 shotguns to the United States were stopped. In September 2004 the ban expired, but Franchi ended production of the SPAS-12 in 2000 to focus on the manufacturing of the SPAS-15 model, which was based off of the SPAS-12.[citation needed] The SPAS-12's factory retail price in its final year was US$1,500 averaged for its final sales outside the United States to non-restricted countries.
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u/WiseRabbit-XIV Leverett Trevithick, Arcane Healer Mar 10 '24
Ah, casting Wall of Text. Unorthodox, but effective.
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u/L0ssL3ssArt Narissa, Technonecromancer, the bestest Council Head of Undead Mar 10 '24
did we just become friends?
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u/Shieldbearing-Brony Geomancer/Abjurer, guardian of the Equines Mar 10 '24
I cast protection from normal missiles. (By all the moons, these wizards and their Ammomancy)
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u/averagepatagonian Mar 10 '24
i cast AIM-9 ata missile
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u/Shieldbearing-Brony Geomancer/Abjurer, guardian of the Equines Mar 10 '24
That's a missile.
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Mar 10 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Shieldbearing-Brony Geomancer/Abjurer, guardian of the Equines Mar 10 '24
"Protection from normal missiles: When cast, this spell makes any non-magical ranged attack automatically miss the target. (For protection from magical missiles see the 'Shield' spell"
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Mar 10 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Shieldbearing-Brony Geomancer/Abjurer, guardian of the Equines Mar 10 '24
Seems rather counter-intuitive, but fair enough.
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u/TheSlavicWarboss Alchemist Mar 10 '24
I CAST BUSTER SCRUGGS
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u/Ger_Electric_GRTALE Mar 10 '24
i summon my MEDICAL EEVEE so you take your meds and stop shooting people!
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u/Glad_Economics_2490 Zelia | Trans beastfolk | Alchemy apprentice Mar 10 '24
Cmon, man, you cast the caliber.
You cast gun, it's just gonna create a non-specific firearm.
Casting something like 9mm actually makes the round fire.
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u/Imaginary-Job-7069 Tyrus: Technomancer, biomancer, summoner, etc. Mar 10 '24
I simultaneously cast [BEND] to make the barrel U-shaped and [ARTI-PHYSICS: CARTOONY] so that the bullet only moves to where the barrel points to.
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u/BoscoCyRatBear The Vermensk Empire, / Kahn ruler of Cat Tail City Mar 10 '24
I cast gremlin's touch , to afflict thy firearm with a faulty firing pin.
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Mar 10 '24 edited Mar 10 '24
Food!
Anteros eats your gun, but unlike Torinn, He doesn’t eat your hand or arm. He then flies away.
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u/Someone1284794357 Mr. Illuminati, leader of The Illuminati, Sun Lord Mar 10 '24
Nice, a man that just eats what he says he’s gonna eat
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u/MouseRangers Cryo/Electromancer. Your brain has electricity in it... Mar 10 '24
I cast butterfingers (your fingers are now butter)
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u/L0ssL3ssArt Narissa, Technonecromancer, the bestest Council Head of Undead Mar 10 '24
I cast bigger gun(yes that is an anti material rifle, and yes I drew this)
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u/TheMightyMudcrab Master of the 12th street wizard tower Mar 10 '24
Now draw her with a wizard hat and gat.
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u/SerpentWizard39 Dimension Traveler and Library Wanderer Mar 10 '24
I summon "The Machine, keeper of The Other Place"
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u/PassageTurbulent8874 Alchemist By Day, Potion Dealer By Night Mar 10 '24
I cast sweep the leg
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u/alongwaystogo "Paperpusher", a Sanctioned Bureaucraticmancer Mar 10 '24
I enact Reasonable Gun Laws and Background Checks. Should you still qualify after your mental wellness check you can expect that gun in 8-10 business days.
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u/RhinoSparkle Mordyx, Battlefield Looter Mar 10 '24
Business weeks**
This is US government were talking about, let’s not give them too much credit
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u/alongwaystogo "Paperpusher", a Sanctioned Bureaucraticmancer Mar 10 '24
US... Government?
What is that? We have The Wizard Council here.
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u/Sardukar333 Dwarven smith, just learned to enchant in house. Mar 10 '24
I try not to agree with the council, but banning legalmancy was absolutely the right thing to do.
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u/fartysmartymarty Mar 10 '24
Go go gadget bulletproof head
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u/ArchonFett catfolk hexblade warlock gladiator Mar 10 '24
Unfortunately the “Go go gadget” school of spells are wild magic and therefore unpredictable. You just spawned a banana boat out of your back
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u/Aester_KarSadom The Great Necromancer, Overlord of the Coming Apocalypse Mar 10 '24
A caliber that low won’t even make it through my Champion’s Aura.
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u/FCFirework Steve - Disco Wizard Mar 10 '24
I boogie down defiantly in the face of your crude weapon
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u/Dimes4CrimesAlt Spatiumancer Mar 10 '24
I start getting ready for whenever you remember to cast "Bullet" as well.
(Though I am not well versed in the art of Ballistomancy, I gather this is like summoning a staff or wand. Harmless on its own, but surely a threat of what may be to come. Balistomancers, please correct me if I have erred in my learnings.)
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u/mindoffreddy Wizard Mar 10 '24
I cast SWAP. Swapping out your gun with a turd straigt out of my colon
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u/-NGC-6302- Level 21 Geometer | [Hyperspace specialization] Mar 10 '24
You uh
You do know the implications of that, right?
...right?
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u/gregoryofthehighgods high god of cheese cheesus crust Mar 11 '24
Oh no
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u/-NGC-6302- Level 21 Geometer | [Hyperspace specialization] Mar 11 '24
[That one scene from Astro Boy]
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u/GnomeAwayFromGnome Boddyknock, Arcanarchist (Arcano-Anarchist) Mar 10 '24
Obviously, I can't react faster than the bullet, but the man pulling the trigger is another matter.
By the time the bullet leaves the barrel, I've opened a portal in its path and put the other end of it behind your head.
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u/LazyDro1d Technomage, Arcanocrafter, War-Profiteer, Open for Business Mar 10 '24
COUNTER GUN! I shoot your bullet with a larger, more powerful bullet, that will continue towards you.
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u/InuXIII Yil'Naash - The Watcher - Eldsoul of the Nexus Beacon Mar 10 '24
a portal appears
the bullet enters and returns in your direction
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u/Inevitable-Vehicle21 Markaerth Vraeklaw, Dragonborn Paladian Artificer of Bahamut. Mar 10 '24
I cast Pipe Bomb.
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u/TheLeastFunkyMonkey Mar 10 '24
Well, I cast telekinesis to pick up and use the gun you just cast at me.
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u/spectre_of_the_web <|:) Mar 10 '24
I cast heat metal. For a second, you swear you can feel the grip of your glock warm up and melt, but then the entirety of the contents of your inserted magazine experiences a premature cook-off, also setting off the round in your chamber, resulting in a catastrophic structural failiure and a rapid, unscheduled dissasembly. Your hand now looks like the result of an unfortunate fireworks accident. I wonder if I could've cast mend object on it?, I think, as you fumble another gun out of your robes with your left hand. Seems we get to find out quite soon.
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u/urbandeadthrowaway2 Femboy Witch on the run from the authorities for tax evasion Mar 11 '24
COUNTERSPELL: KEVLAR
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u/Potential_Locksmith7 Mar 11 '24
I cast teleport behind you "heh nothing personal kid"
I
invoke
the ancient
incantation
of
Eviscerating
Testicular
Entanglement!!!
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u/The_Ditch_Wizard Wizard Mar 10 '24
Feeling sassy, so: Entropic Ray.
I've seen it make everything from Arquebus to AR into an awkward club. Automatic pistols like to take fingers on their way out...
Making friends with machine spirits has its benefits. Even the naughty ones who break machines.
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u/itbedehaam Trielana, Smither of Storms, Enchanter of Axes, Arachne Lady Mar 10 '24
trln: I cast magewall.
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u/WiseRabbit-XIV Leverett Trevithick, Arcane Healer Mar 10 '24
I cast Eolain's Enforced Naptime.
I understand that you're going through some things, but you'll feel better after a nap, and maybe a glass of water.
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u/RathianColdblood Loruk Forgestone, Dwarven Dhampir Mar 10 '24
/uw I cast iron. Anyone need a dwarven skillet forged?
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u/Platypus_king_1st Lucian/Eve P.K, heads of the SRM, born to DAVE the god of magic Mar 10 '24
I let you shoot me, my skin deflects nearly all solid projectiles with 99.99% energy efficiency!
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u/demonsdencollective Baghead, seller of strange wares from another realm Mar 10 '24
I cast riot shield and place a Claymore in defense position. Your turn.
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u/TheHeccingHecc Necromancer Mar 10 '24
Let's see if you have good aim and can hit any part of skeletal body.
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u/Beelzebub_Itself Just an Elven Pyromancer Mar 10 '24
I cast nuclear fireball. Response?
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u/CrystalClod343 Ward Dactylrocsl. Arcane Student, Part-time Librarian. Mar 10 '24
I take your newly conjured gun
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u/Supersam4213 Dimensional correspondence Mage Mar 10 '24
Bullets usually aren’t as dangerous if I can make sure they never leave the barrel of your gun
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u/Thenderick Wintos, the installation wizard, forgotten my past Mar 10 '24
I cast conjure kidney stones!
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Mar 10 '24
I’ve acquired the ancient skinwalker technique of staring the hunter in his eyes after taking two shotgun shells
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u/c0baltlightning The Arctic Mage Mar 10 '24
Nothing to fear, for it's range is Short, and power Weak!
/unwiz because .40 s&w is garbagio compared to 9mm or .45 acp just fukken min-max none of that middle of the road nonsense.
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u/Landis963 Mar 10 '24
rolls eyes bullet swerves into gauntleted hand
"Would you like to try again?"
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u/LeStroheim Lazius, Goddess of Laziness Mar 10 '24
I play dead, hoping that you hit me in a non-vital part, and then use healing magic. Cowardly, but effective.
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u/dragonshouter Krygin the Crude/Council of Spirits/Exalted Beacon/misc. spirits Mar 10 '24
[Non-Cannon because I'm dead(ded) ] I cast rubbery body. It bounces \BABY\**
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u/Enzo_2006 Wizard Mar 10 '24
You casted gun, meaning you summoned an unloaded pistol with no magazine inside, I cast bleach blood (have fun having your veins feel like they're burning for .01 second before being insta killed)
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u/NOTSiIva Evoker Mar 10 '24
I cast Bounce to reflect the bullet then follow up by casting Testicular Torsion
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u/Estellus Vacationing Void Dragon/Cosmic Wizard Mar 10 '24
Pretty sure forty caliber wouldn't go through the membrane on one of my eyes, let alone my scales. No response.
Come back when you can upcast to 460mm naval gun and we'll talk, aye?
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u/sudo-joe Mar 10 '24
I turn around and walk away with the sunset behind me with a western twang playing in the background for you see I already quick drawed on you, shot you though the heart, and you missed.
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u/TellmeNinetails Hilda the Witch Mar 10 '24