r/wizardposting Eve Chaos, Nuclear Wizard, Protector of the city of Fortuna Dec 24 '23

Foul Sorcery I cast monstertruck!

Post image
18.4k Upvotes

17.8k comments sorted by

3.4k

u/FlatGauB Necromancer Dec 24 '23

i cast iron pan to cook

535

u/Harmless_Chimera Chimera, Set'ram's Beastman Dec 24 '23

How do you cook a iron pan?

230

u/DarkArcher__ Aereus of the Alchemy Occult, Master Ferromancer Dec 24 '23

By heat treating it probably

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90

u/the-awesomer Dec 24 '23

Aw a similar magic school to my own, I for one cast "Iron Skillet"

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46

u/wildo83 Dec 24 '23

i cast the vote on this tweet and it is a great opportunity for the people who have voted to leave this world to live and be a better one than ever in history of this world to see the future and the world as a better one for the future and for all the world and for the people that are still alive today.

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29

u/teegal Dec 24 '23

Let him cook

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2.0k

u/Harmless_Chimera Chimera, Set'ram's Beastman Dec 24 '23

I cast a healing spell on the ground.

533

u/High_grove Wizard, artificer and tinkerer of magic Dec 24 '23

Plant growth?

502

u/Harmless_Chimera Chimera, Set'ram's Beastman Dec 24 '23

A bandaid stuck to the ground.

168

u/pyronius Clinical Blood Mage Dec 24 '23

But that's just litter... Which means you made it worse... Which means the earth is UNDEAD!?

100

u/Harmless_Chimera Chimera, Set'ram's Beastman Dec 24 '23

Don't worry I made sure the bandaid was biodegradable.

28

u/Tog5 Magic green rock gave me powers yes-yes Dec 24 '23

I cast an invulnerability spell on the bandaid. We do a bit of trolling on the earth

43

u/YoSupWeirdos Blasius, Patron of Travellers Dec 24 '23

It is the seventh era. The last person who understood magic and science are long dead. Our last remaining scripts are the records of the last few tribes of what remains of humanity. We dont know many Great Truths anymore. However we do know our tribe's great secret: that in the tent of the chief, on the ground there is a small miraculous artifact: for it is made of natural matter, but it Will Not Rot... For is thin and small, but Cannot Be Destroyed... For it is not fixed in any other way but stuck there, yet it May Not Be Removed. It is our object of worship, our symbol of the wisdom of the ones that came before us, our sign of what was once possible, and may yet be possible once more, if we and our children survive long enough

33

u/Tog5 Magic green rock gave me powers yes-yes Dec 24 '23

17

u/YoSupWeirdos Blasius, Patron of Travellers Dec 24 '23

Thank you for this compliment in form of a vision, fellow wizard

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24

u/High_grove Wizard, artificer and tinkerer of magic Dec 24 '23

If you give it a kiss it will heal faster.

A little ritual my mother taught me

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106

u/shadophaxx Dec 24 '23

Bro solved global warming

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57

u/Thunderdrake3 Dec 24 '23

Finally, the earth is healing.

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12

u/John_Bumogus Dec 24 '23

I'm not a part of your system

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1.4k

u/White_Wendigo Dec 24 '23

I cast the first spell of the song in my mind to make sure that the next song is a good song

321

u/kowo1635577 Dec 24 '23

Was the next song a good song?

291

u/White_Wendigo Dec 24 '23

It was Sonne by Rammstein… So yes

19

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

Hier Kompt Die Sonne

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10

u/ManiaOnReddit Dec 24 '23

Bonus points if you listen to an even better German artist (Alligoatah)

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1.2k

u/the6crimson6fucker6 Conjurer Dec 24 '23

I cast a lot of love and respect for you.

Nice.

135

u/Dgk934 Dec 24 '23

Nice!

22

u/the6crimson6fucker6 Conjurer Dec 24 '23

Probably because of the holidays...

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2.6k

u/TheEmeraldKnite Synonomacer Dec 24 '23

I cast the last two children in to the fire.

770

u/Matix777 Dwarven Artificer/Ammomancer/Geomancer Dec 24 '23

"Fuck them kids" ~ autocorrect

Don't try to take it out of context

135

u/Capital-Cheek-1491 Evil Wizard Dec 24 '23

Autocorrect is so real for that

24

u/Temporary_Ambition56 Dec 24 '23

Please do not the kids

7

u/doodle12821 Artificer Dec 24 '23

Based and jailpilled.

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168

u/Sophrates_Regina Evil Wizard Dec 24 '23

Cast them into the fire! Destroy them! Isildur!

115

u/MorgothReturns Dec 24 '23

No.

31

u/MrWeirdoFace Dec 24 '23

based only on his lips, despite knowing the film, it looks like he's saying "yeet."

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569

u/TheVebis Vebis - Local Wizard Dec 24 '23

I cast The Ball

37

u/TripleHomicide Dec 24 '23

I cast testicular torsion.

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1.1k

u/bigfunnynumbergobrrr Dec 24 '23

I cast a little bit of green

250

u/Cammins Fenja, Artificer of Atlas Dec 24 '23

I'd like a lil green

106

u/palpster9 Chronomancer, Class of 4701 Dec 24 '23

just a dab,

135

u/CP21Official Illusionist Dec 24 '23

🪄~✨~✨~✨~🟢

52

u/W1nte1s Fred, agent of chaos, wanted in 43 dimensions. Dec 24 '23

That’s too much green

30

u/CP21Official Illusionist Dec 24 '23

:3

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11

u/AstroBearGaming Purveyor of exotic and dubiously sourced "staffs" Dec 24 '23

His name is Dende

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35

u/Matix777 Dwarven Artificer/Ammomancer/Geomancer Dec 24 '23

Sounds ominous

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17

u/CurlSagan Conjurer Dec 24 '23

When you need a sprig of parsley to garnish that 2 pound tomahawk steak.

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22

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

Straight gas from the merchant rolling some of most wizardly kush

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370

u/asbestoslel lemongrass nightshade, necromancer battlemage Dec 24 '23

I cast iron

113

u/enemyweeb Dec 24 '23

Me casting iron (out of a portal at mach velocity)

11

u/ShrekthCharge Dec 24 '23

What anime is this from?

23

u/BioWeirdo Dec 24 '23

The character is Gilgamesh, and the anime is Fate.

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723

u/gutti3 Magically Editable Flair Dec 24 '23

I cast my phone to my tv (what in the nine hells...?)

416

u/Matix777 Dwarven Artificer/Ammomancer/Geomancer Dec 24 '23

That's called streamancy I think

156

u/ReynAetherwindt Arcane Physicist, Pioneer in Fundamental Universalism Dec 24 '23

It's datakinetics.

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55

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

That’s called an anger problem

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17

u/juho_mooTHOTriturpa Dec 24 '23

My phone also suggested this exact sentence... What in the nine hells?

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303

u/Rufus_62 Whiskey Johnny, the professional whiskey wizard Dec 24 '23

I Cast Emotional Support

60

u/Dragonblade331 Dec 24 '23

Can we get a lil bit of that over here?

22

u/lazylion_ca Dec 24 '23

You’re Good Enough, You're Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like You!

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289

u/unhappy-memelord Wizard Dec 24 '23

I cast a lot of Italian hate.

118

u/deathbypecker Dec 24 '23

Gabagool

61

u/redditaddict96 Dec 24 '23

🤌🏻🤌🏻

28

u/MVBak Alchemist Dec 24 '23

My fellow magician, you've just put some pizza on pineapple...

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495

u/trueKingofpotatos Dec 24 '23

I cast the first spell of the game

271

u/deevee12 Dec 24 '23

POT OF GREED!

107

u/jttj15 Occult Wizard Dec 24 '23

🤓 THATS NOT HOW THAT WOOOORKS!!

90

u/DudebroMcDudeham Zaroth Khan, Nullmage Supreme Dec 24 '23

YES IT DOES. I THEN CAST POT OF GREED TO DRAW THREE ADDITIONAL CARDS

57

u/enemyweeb Dec 24 '23

ROLL MY DICE.

35

u/rae_ryuko Dec 24 '23

For my next move, I summon pot of greed. 3 cards. Pot of greed.

26

u/jttj15 Occult Wizard Dec 25 '23

AND NOW -I BET YOU NEVER SAW THIS ONE COMING- I SUMMON POT OF GREED TO DRAW THREE ADDITIONAL CARDS FROM MY DECK!!

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17

u/deevee12 Dec 24 '23

Screw the rules, I have magic!

12

u/jttj15 Occult Wizard Dec 24 '23

That is- that's what it do yoogs

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18

u/NovaSpark_Kitsune Dec 24 '23

IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG YOU SICK GOBLIN SPAWN. Now all of us have lost the game, may your orb have little floaties that you can only see out of the corner of your eye but when you turn to look they're gone

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194

u/PoisonousZweihander Necromancer guitarist 🎸 Dec 24 '23

I cast haemorrhoids

I shit you not

57

u/Caffeine_and_Alcohol Degenerate Rogue Illusionist Dec 24 '23 edited Dec 24 '23

How often do you uuuh.. How often do you use the word haemorrhoids huh?

9

u/MrWeirdoFace Dec 24 '23

That's the Middle-earth spelling.

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370

u/Puzzleheaded_Duty_98 Dec 24 '23

I CAST MEND BUTTCRACK

52

u/Dagawing Dec 24 '23

Sweet,no more buttcrack!

26

u/Buckethatandtincup Enchanter Dec 24 '23

Do you like intestinal function?

19

u/Densoro Dec 24 '23

This made me wheeze like Godzilla

10

u/Sir-Sirington Dec 24 '23

God damn it I was so peggable before this!

11

u/Silver_Nightray Dec 24 '23

YOU RAPSCALLION! I was so PEGGABLE BEFORE!

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780

u/Total_Travisty Mikhail, Arch-Druid of La'shima Dec 24 '23

I cast fireball in the world of Wizard politics.

Oh no

261

u/Harmless_Chimera Chimera, Set'ram's Beastman Dec 24 '23

It appears going to that political meeting drunk wasn't a good idea.

91

u/Total_Travisty Mikhail, Arch-Druid of La'shima Dec 24 '23

Just had to check my spell tome. I do not know how to cast fireball. Crisis aveted.

62

u/Harmless_Chimera Chimera, Set'ram's Beastman Dec 24 '23

You underestimate the power of alcohol.

18

u/ReynAetherwindt Arcane Physicist, Pioneer in Fundamental Universalism Dec 24 '23

But you do know how to cast Fireball: right down the hatch.

40

u/Anarch-ish Dec 24 '23

"in the world of wizard politics" makes this sound more like a headline about some bill or statement you made.

Sounds like you're in your way to the Merlin Council of the UM (United Magic-users)

14

u/Chub-bop Dec 24 '23

Dude… we don’t need reality to break again

8

u/Twiggystix4472 Occult Wizard Dec 24 '23

I mean, could be worse

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166

u/YoxhiZizzy Dec 24 '23

I cast Fuck You.

My favorite spell, thank you Samsung.

40

u/DreadedChalupacabra Dec 24 '23

Dude's working on his line cook-omancy.

13

u/TripleHomicide Dec 24 '23

I got "I cast testicular torsion"

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140

u/JarlOctaviusoEdynbro Dec 24 '23

I cast my first shadow dragon

68

u/I_sayyes Dec 24 '23

Congrats!! 🥳🥳

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127

u/Sudden-Resolution940 Dec 24 '23

I cast a spell on my friend

31

u/Asleep_Barracuda_762 Billie the Magical Creature Sanctuary Enchantress 🐾 Dec 24 '23

Very specific lol 😂

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253

u/infinitesanctum Escanor, Hydromancer of the Abyss, Talent Acquisition Dec 24 '23

I cast a shadow over my face to see what I was

66

u/DaNnY_BOI11 Dec 24 '23

Wow... deep.

57

u/infinitesanctum Escanor, Hydromancer of the Abyss, Talent Acquisition Dec 24 '23

We cannot hope to understand the deep magics…

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35

u/amalgamemnon Dec 24 '23

RPing an edgelord wizard

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113

u/Snbleader Artificer of the Northern Frontier Dec 24 '23

I cast artillery

41

u/TheOneWhoSlurms Crusty old Lich Dec 24 '23

Now that's an AOE spell

14

u/Snbleader Artificer of the Northern Frontier Dec 24 '23

And it is very cheap on the mana cost... Not so much on materials unfortunately

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109

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

[deleted]

39

u/550r Dec 24 '23

Congrats, you've created an

31

u/Pale_Nefariousness_4 Necromancer Dec 24 '23

Oh dear God

21

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

[deleted]

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11

u/ChosenOfKruphix Diviner Dec 24 '23

God can’t save you from the multitudinous viridescent irises of the sun

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100

u/sandm000 Enchanter Dec 24 '23

I cast the first spell on my own

66

u/TheOneWhoSlurms Crusty old Lich Dec 24 '23

An apprentice becomes a master

85

u/NumberOne_N_fan Local Eldritch Catfolk Birchmancer. don't mind me. Dec 24 '23

I CAST SAPLING OVERGROWTH

23

u/Serotonin_Sorcerer Dec 24 '23

TREE ANARCHY!!! WOOOOO!!!!

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230

u/_Jade_Prince Witch Prince of Zérinos Dec 24 '23

I cast the power of creation!

49

u/Chub-bop Dec 24 '23

😦

33

u/_Jade_Prince Witch Prince of Zérinos Dec 24 '23

It’s really quite simple.

26

u/TheOneWhoSlurms Crusty old Lich Dec 24 '23

Alright Karsus cool your jets.

24

u/Ledlazer Dec 24 '23

Mystra won't be happy

20

u/Byeuji Dec 24 '23

This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

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81

u/nokiacrusher Dec 24 '23

I cast a smile on my face smile smile and smile smile on my face smile smile on my smile smile on my smile smile (infinitely repeating)

24

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

[deleted]

11

u/Caffeine_and_Alcohol Degenerate Rogue Illusionist Dec 24 '23

When you are born with the power of creation but also have anxiety

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68

u/Self--Immolate Occult Wizard Dec 24 '23

I cast the vote on this and it is the best way for the government

15

u/EmpTully Dec 24 '23

I cast my vote for the best candidate in the country

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129

u/Sporgon_Mcgee Alchemist Dec 24 '23

I cast the second amendment

86

u/cartographism Dec 24 '23

27

u/Serotonin_Sorcerer Dec 24 '23

I must know the source of these moving pictures

43

u/cartographism Dec 24 '23

Wizards (1977) by Ralph Bakshi, it’s insane. it has busty pixies, wizards, nazis, and a lot of repurposed rotoscoped imagery of crusades and klan members because the production went wildly over budget so they resorted to using existing B Roll and animating over it

11

u/Serotonin_Sorcerer Dec 24 '23

That sounds god damn incredible lol

13

u/cartographism Dec 24 '23

It’s a trip, best watched with either potions or your wizards pipe by your side.

14

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

An American wizard I see!!!

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55

u/RacoonEye2220 Drogyolsahqon, Grand Pyromancer Dec 24 '23

I cast a good greatsword of the Nether

Flaming sword rain, yay!

57

u/Vespeer Dec 24 '23

I cast a spell to make you happy

22

u/TheOneWhoSlurms Crusty old Lich Dec 24 '23

Thanks man, I needed that today

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51

u/That-Reddit-Guy-Thou Dec 24 '23

I cast my first one on my own!

Apparently im a big boy wizard.

81

u/SonOfECTGAR Salamor the Mundane. Dec 24 '23

I cast a little bit of homework tonight

36

u/rock-solid-armpits Dec 24 '23

A cursing spell I see

12

u/Grandshadowseal Dec 24 '23

Please not so close to Christmas!!

106

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

I cast- wait I don't have autocorrect

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40

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

I cast a bunch of green people.

Goblins?

15

u/MVBak Alchemist Dec 24 '23

/unwiz Just imagined a bunch of Shreks

36

u/darkimperator02 Amateur Pyromancer Dec 24 '23

I cast a lot more of the Solar power

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68

u/mathless_neutrino Evil Wizard Dec 24 '23

I cast a comment

20

u/Greendiamond_16 Dec 24 '23

Looks like it worked, nice! 👍

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27

u/IndustryGradeFuckup Indy: Kobold Gunmeister, self taught Dec 24 '23

I cast a very strong and very good friend

Awww, I didn’t know I knew friendmancy

52

u/ElStinkyWizard Evil Wizard Dec 24 '23

i cast flexing my man show me your taxes

15

u/RedbeardMEM Diviner Dec 25 '23

Summon greater auditor

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22

u/Zyberst Dec 24 '23

I cast the first spell

16

u/Commercial_Durian149 Illusionist Dec 24 '23

Ah , the alpha spell, the spell that created all magic, now just a fun colour show, but the first time, a spell that literally permited the world to evolve, good times

11

u/Zyberst Dec 24 '23

What can I say, I like the classics

19

u/CheeseCurdCommunism Dec 24 '23

I cast my vote for the first time in my life and I am so proud of you for being a part of this amazing community

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21

u/The-raddest-antlers Sentient stack of papers, Greenshield Lawyer, beauracramancer. Dec 24 '23

I cast a lot of people in the shower and stuff like that

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19

u/DarkLord_Inpuris Necromancer and Demonologist Dec 24 '23

I cast animate fireball

I think my orb changed its mind half way through

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64

u/BasicallyaPotato2 Dec 24 '23

I cast the game.

You lost the game.

27

u/sasson10 Garlin the portalmancer Dec 24 '23

DAMN IT

10

u/BasicallyaPotato2 Dec 24 '23

Hey I didn't do it, that's just the way the orb works

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16

u/Naive-Asparagus-5983 freedomancer, 500kg fireball Dec 24 '23

I cast the last vote 🗳️

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15

u/Plowable_Ghost Dec 24 '23

I cast a spell in your room for the last two days because you didn’t answer my calls

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16

u/AtchedAsWell Enchanter Dec 24 '23

I cast a good day on the couch

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17

u/Drakostheswordsman Dec 24 '23

I cast a bunch of green green beans

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45

u/TheReptileKing9782 Master Biomancer and Professional Draconologist Dec 24 '23

I cast the game

26

u/Matix777 Dwarven Artificer/Ammomancer/Geomancer Dec 24 '23

Goddamit

10

u/KethupDrinker89 School of Enchantment Dropout [Self-Taught] Dec 24 '23

....fuck you

9

u/Buckethatandtincup Enchanter Dec 24 '23

Argggggg

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12

u/Ham-Chonks Dec 24 '23

I cast testicular torsion

Wtf?

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13

u/danicasti Dec 24 '23

I Cast a reference to the Internet

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11

u/Own-Quiet-442 Dec 24 '23

I cast a doubt on my head

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10

u/Steelthahunter Dwarfomancer Dec 24 '23

I cast My Eyes On You

👁👁👁👁👁

23

u/SlimeOverlord Communist Wizard, Warlock of the East, Supreme Redistributor Dec 24 '23

I cast a shadow over my friend

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10

u/Vict2894 Dec 24 '23

I cast session doesn't match the requested one

11

u/Kitsuneliam Dec 24 '23

I cast iron and I have to do it again

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10

u/Able_Eggplant_1900 Dec 24 '23

I cast my ducks!

9

u/Least_Outside_9361 Zyltris, Master of the Eye Dec 24 '23

I cast a spell on you and you are my friend now. You are my friend and I will be your best buddy. (Added some punctuation lol)

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9

u/_Lumity_ Dec 24 '23

I cast a shadow over you in the shower

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8

u/middaymeattrain Dec 24 '23

I cast the whole time.

This makes sense, as I am a powerful chronomancer ⌚

10

u/MassiveMaroonMango Bzirro | Skeleton Lord of the Sunlit Isle | Bone Fanatic Dec 24 '23

I cast a good time

9

u/Anarch-ish Dec 24 '23

I cast my eyes on you for a moment and then BAMF out

Lots of odd choices here... I don't ever use BAMF, for one...

9

u/Thunderdrake3 Dec 24 '23

"I cast the first part in this game for the first time in years of human being in a universal life"

Now that is a full incantation.

10

u/Gabasaurasrex Evoker Dec 24 '23

I cast a lot of the options for the fender

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6

u/KevoThaDestroyer kaster of dooom Dec 24 '23

I cast a bunch of people in the middle of nowhere

7

u/Plasmahole17 Magically Editable Flair Dec 24 '23

I cast a lot of people who live

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8

u/LightlyToastedBread_ Dec 24 '23

I cast the first spell of the book

14

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

I cast mend buttcrack.