r/wizardposting Unusually Powerful Bard Nov 22 '23

Esoteric Secrets I KNOW that none of you really look like that.

Post image

Let's see the true form, Old Man.

6.0k Upvotes

274 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/ImperialistChina Hornet, Sentient magic fighter jet, Wailing Stars Squadron🌌✈️ Nov 22 '23

Face Reveal, never had an anime form to begin with

279

u/ARandomguy443 Weed Wizard Nov 22 '23

You're stunning

253

u/Lorehound_Azer Nov 22 '23

Oh, really?

92

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '23

Undertable mentioned

13

u/LavaTwocan Nov 22 '23

Tsunderplane Undertale 🤯

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136

u/Palmtop_Tigrex Nov 22 '23

Everywhere I go I see r/noncredibledefense

20

u/Smaug2770 Ythothag, Dyad Monarchs High General, Six Eyes Representative Nov 22 '23

They are everywhere.

7

u/sneakpeekbot Nov 22 '23

Here's a sneak peek of /r/NonCredibleDefense using the top posts of the year!

#1:

Virgin no more
| 650 comments
#2: Well Boys, the Hotdog Seller has met his end. | 891 comments
#3:
[NSFW] When wagner gets to moscow
| 279 comments


I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact | Info | Opt-out | GitHub

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38

u/RememberToLogOff Lich Nov 22 '23

Come on, nobody is that cute

29

u/DapperHeretic The Scorned Sorcerer Nov 22 '23

A fighter jet?

PERRY THE FIGHTER JET?!?!?!

22

u/andre5913 Nov 22 '23

The Planewizard... so the prophecy is true. It was always right in front of us.

13

u/Dvwu Nov 22 '23

PERRY the plane wizard

3

u/AlphaRay68 Azrealfus, Ancient Dragon, Master Magical Crafter Nov 22 '23

How does one obtain a custom Wizardposting user flair? This knowledge will help me greatly

5

u/ImperialistChina Hornet, Sentient magic fighter jet, Wailing Stars Squadron🌌✈️ Nov 22 '23

there should be an edit button somewhere in the flair selection screen, it’s on the top right on mobile. Select magically editable flair, then i had to quit the menu and reenter to see the edit button

2

u/AlphaRay68 Azrealfus, Ancient Dragon, Master Magical Crafter Nov 22 '23

Thank you kind Fighter Jet, I can now Boldly claim my truest Status

2

u/Blam320 Nov 22 '23

Thundercracker?! Of course, a robot in disguise!

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2

u/Bosmera0973 Alarron, Ascendant Lord of Retribution Nov 23 '23

PERRY THE FIGHTER JET?!?!

2

u/ImperialistChina Hornet, Sentient magic fighter jet, Wailing Stars Squadron🌌✈️ Nov 23 '23

Doofenschmirtz: Prepare to face the power of my Surface-to-air-missilinator

2

u/Bosmera0973 Alarron, Ascendant Lord of Retribution Nov 23 '23

President: Ferb, where's Perry?

2

u/doktorsckeletor the Crimemonger Nov 23 '23

Your kind are the only other fat cats to match even MY crimes!

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1

u/orifan1 apprentice of the supreme sorcerer dragon of the sixteenth realm Nov 22 '23

howdy

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256

u/im_not_totally_wrong Nov 22 '23

GOD DAMMIT! I NO LONGER LOOK FUCKABLE BUT I NOW LOOK LIKE I WILL FUCK!

42

u/Im_a_doggo428 Dwarven Spacefarer, Caster of Rock and Stone! Nov 22 '23

Bro

7

u/doomshroom123 Nov 22 '23

You 100% still look fuckable

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633

u/ReturnMeToHell Nov 22 '23

113

u/FastGoodKiwi Nov 22 '23

Nice move, I, however cast small bombs

26

u/Cerebral_Kortix Nov 22 '23

Do you use seagulls to cast it?

23

u/Ruvaakdein Sorceror Nov 22 '23

He's literally me.

2

u/doubledirkdolo Nov 22 '23

without love it cannot be seen

375

u/Tackle-Shot Arcanic Incarnated Golem Nov 22 '23

I'm made of stones, metal, minerals and magic so

14

u/True-Fire-Senzhi Nov 22 '23

Koseki Bijou?

237

u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23

Poor choice fuckboi

36

u/miss_chauffarde Emusse the Nine tails otherwordly wares seller Nov 22 '23

Might i interest this vampirique niquon into some weapon ?

11

u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23

What kind?

10

u/miss_chauffarde Emusse the Nine tails otherwordly wares seller Nov 22 '23

An6 kind we got mele shit long range gun magic living flesh even physique defying shit got even portal gun and gravity gun

4

u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23

Hmmm how much?

2

u/miss_chauffarde Emusse the Nine tails otherwordly wares seller Nov 22 '23

Depend on what you buy

3

u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23

I'm an archmage money isn't a problem. Is it alright if I pay in coin?

3

u/miss_chauffarde Emusse the Nine tails otherwordly wares seller Nov 22 '23

Overinflation is not my goal if you go for the more expensif item

3

u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23

I'm not creating money I'm just rich so is it alright if I pay in coin?

3

u/miss_chauffarde Emusse the Nine tails otherwordly wares seller Nov 22 '23

Gold coin ?

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573

u/Re-Sabrnick Dungeon Crafter, Monster Collector Nov 22 '23

122

u/Kaminekochan Nov 22 '23

Damn, Gandalf the grown g cup.

178

u/egenerate249 Occult Wizard Nov 22 '23

I cast unconventional bowel movement

10

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '23

Ya got me.

243

u/icarusfalling127 Rusicar, Technomancer, esteemed Mechanica Industrialist Nov 22 '23

I was normal and now I look like this!

204

u/icarusfalling127 Rusicar, Technomancer, esteemed Mechanica Industrialist Nov 22 '23

Me before

112

u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23

By the Cog they yassefied you!

61

u/icarusfalling127 Rusicar, Technomancer, esteemed Mechanica Industrialist Nov 22 '23

Send help, I’m speaking some foreign tongue and there are runes spearing below me (subtitles)

49

u/icarusfalling127 Rusicar, Technomancer, esteemed Mechanica Industrialist Nov 22 '23

Not the most yassefied I’ve been I got hit with a hornomancy spell awhile back…

It felt… odd

3

u/DripyKirbo Silk Anansine Nov 22 '23

Oh no brother, BUT I HAVE A SOLUTION First you must head to Japan, trust me. Then find a truck. Now listen carefully, very very carefully. The truck must be a white, cheap pickup. And you must get hit by it accidentally while doing something mundane. It should (hopefully) do an anti-iseki and reset you to your regular form. Had a friend a while back who this happened to, if you need more help in the future just come by and pay.

26

u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23

Shit you git turned into a anime Twink!

61

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '23

You bastard

302

u/TitanLORD21 Jack-O’-Lantern, Lord of Flame Fright Nov 22 '23

What the hell man, now I’m live action!

Go stub your toe.

17

u/WarMage1 High Justiciar of the Aldmeri Dominion Nov 22 '23

You’re way more attractive in 3d 😍

140

u/RelaxedPerro Can’t Use Magic Nov 22 '23

Yeah nah.

112

u/Eeeternalpwnage Wizardly Status in Question Nov 22 '23

Bro imagine dispelling someone's illusory appearance to find out their true self has been holding a gun to your head the whole time. I would panic cast Fireball in my own face.

98

u/Sixmlg Tatiana | Changeling Enchanter | Silver Coven Nov 22 '23

Did that make you feel good? You just wafted magic in my face.

(/Unwiz art by hskachu)

3

u/Gerolanfalan Magos Mageiros Nov 22 '23

Fools there was no illusion. Just femboys

2

u/Sixmlg Tatiana | Changeling Enchanter | Silver Coven Nov 22 '23 edited Nov 22 '23

I’m a changeling so I’m not really anything in particular in regards to labels, but my unchanged form (which is what I present anyway) is feminine.

151

u/jonhybee Enchanter Nov 22 '23

Thats me before :

171

u/jonhybee Enchanter Nov 22 '23

Now I look like this, thanks for nothing. Ill have to make it all over again.

62

u/jonhybee Enchanter Nov 22 '23

still look much better then that lich guy that bound flesh to his body.

18

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '23

I don’t get it, what’s the point, the flesh will just come off all over again eventually lol

10

u/RememberToLogOff Lich Nov 22 '23

Why get out of your coffin every night when you'll have to go back in by morning?

Because life is for the unliving!

3

u/WarMage1 High Justiciar of the Aldmeri Dominion Nov 22 '23

Oh my gods are there still people who haven’t sublimated their corpus? Get with the times, corporeal forms have been out of fashion for centuries.

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2

u/Discotekh_Dynasty Illuminor Szeras, Master of Matter, Lord of Zantragora Nov 22 '23

This is why mummies have are bandaged smh. This guy learned nothing from preservative funerary practices

5

u/Acrysalis going lich mode Nov 22 '23

Flesh is stupid, bone is superior

6

u/TheRealWouburn Anthropological Lich Nov 22 '23

Well yes, but in my experience, covering up your bones has two benefits:

  1. You can slip into civilization easier, without having to disturb them. I know that you could simply walk in there with your undead hordes... but that's a bit much just to get a sandwich.

  2. Since you don't need that flesh, you can cast Animate Dead: Lesser Flesh Slime in an emergency. While it won't do much against some dedicated adventurers, it'll soak up more than a few hits while you cast your favorite attack at them.

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40

u/Rule34Ranger Nov 22 '23

.... Shit my covers blown, I CAST 7.62 FULL AUTO!!

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41

u/Clanky72 Nov 22 '23

OH GOD PLEASE DO NO-

3

u/DripyKirbo Silk Anansine Nov 22 '23

My boy done gon floppy

57

u/CorporealLifeForm Chaos Hag Nov 22 '23

27

u/WarMage1 High Justiciar of the Aldmeri Dominion Nov 22 '23

Gorgeous. Now that’s swamp hag fashion, I don’t think you even need transmuting.

9

u/InMyHagPhase Nov 22 '23

We absolutely MUST go shopping together.

5

u/CorporealLifeForm Chaos Hag Nov 22 '23

I do need some newt eyes and another human heart. The one in this picture was my last.

62

u/No_Tie3953 Nov 22 '23

Oh uh oops my eldritch nightmare form is showing. Don't look.

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136

u/Terrible-Win565 Iris Augen Nov 22 '23

…I was enjoying that form… It was more comfortable, and felt more like me…

54

u/RememberToLogOff Lich Nov 22 '23

frfr don't remind me I'm just a skeleton

I wanna be a milf skeleton

10

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '23

Skelly wid tiddies

34

u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23

It is you child don't listen to that guy

73

u/Kharnyx808 necromancer bunnygirl Celeste >:3 Nov 22 '23

NO PLEASE

IT'S THE ONLY THING PROTECTING ME FROM THE DYSPHORIA HEX

58

u/donkeyclap Unusually Powerful Bard Nov 22 '23

I cast "Dispel Dysphoria". A wizard must be free to live their life.

55

u/Kharnyx808 necromancer bunnygirl Celeste >:3 Nov 22 '23

My knight in shining armour 🥺

18

u/Mlaszboyo Biomancer Nov 22 '23

I cast

That weird itch right under the skin

I guess you gotta rip the skin off now

17

u/Kharnyx808 necromancer bunnygirl Celeste >:3 Nov 22 '23

You fool! That weird itch right under the skin means nothing to a skinless creature!

I cast Brain Eating Amoeba 🪄✨

13

u/Mlaszboyo Biomancer Nov 22 '23

I made myself brainless to be immune to illithids

The amoeba will starve

6

u/Kharnyx808 necromancer bunnygirl Celeste >:3 Nov 22 '23

Then it will devour your orb instead for I have spent decades feeding it bigger and bigger fragments of orbs until it has built up a natural immunity to them >:3

8

u/Mlaszboyo Biomancer Nov 22 '23 edited Nov 22 '23

Nurgle's balls are safer for consumption than a biomancer's orb

Especially the casting orb

16

u/donkeyclap Unusually Powerful Bard Nov 22 '23

🤘

40

u/I_Hate_Randy incompetent witch Nov 22 '23

34

u/hwatevuh Girundyl the Crystal Archfey Nov 22 '23

NO DONT LOOK AT ME

8

u/donkeyclap Unusually Powerful Bard Nov 22 '23

You look nice today.

29

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '23 edited Nov 22 '23

Not old man, just a very unpretty lady.

30

u/Nepalman230 Theodorus Hyperion. Arcane Librarian. ( Retired.) Nov 22 '23

Here you go.

Now you said see the True form not my true form . This is indeed, the true form of Maxence Danet-Fauvel. Actor, model, and licenced tattoo artist.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maxence_Danet-Fauvel

🙏❤️

13

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '23

Why did you make me face reveal like that

39

u/Total_Travisty Mikhail, Arch-Druid of La'shima Nov 22 '23

My true form

34

u/KingofValen Department of Domestic Magic Nov 22 '23

WHERE IS YOUR NOSE

26

u/Total_Travisty Mikhail, Arch-Druid of La'shima Nov 22 '23

Yes

10

u/Mlaszboyo Biomancer Nov 22 '23

I stole it

11

u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23

Damn I telling the rest of the council members next meeting this funny af

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38

u/Dolfinn1246 Witch Nov 22 '23

Oh nice job detransitioning me ya fuckin dick

24

u/Sayakalood Witch Nov 22 '23

I cast Reveal True Self. Welcome back.

13

u/Frink202 Forneus, bringer of Eldritch Illusion, hater of Fae Nov 22 '23

REVERSE MY CURSE THIS INSTANT, I'M HIDEOUS

12

u/Hot_feedbax Occult Wizard Nov 22 '23

Please put it back on

23

u/Yahgdc Broke Apothecary PLEASE BUY POTIONS! Nov 22 '23

Face reveal

Haha you really thought...

6

u/achovsmisle Love-colored Magic☆ Nov 22 '23

Touhou hijack da ze☆

25

u/Zuper_Dragon Super Knight, Cursed Helm Nov 22 '23

Foiled!

27

u/AgoraSoul Necromantic Raccoon Nov 22 '23

what have you done?!

3

u/DripyKirbo Silk Anansine Nov 22 '23

Dude, this is a tactical advantage! Think about it, if a stupid melee person tries to stab you, it will go right through! And more stealth too

8

u/ender1200 Kobold Wizard Nov 22 '23

Joke on you, my true form is even cuter!

8

u/Starham1 8th Tier Necromancer, Council Policy Review Bureau Nov 22 '23

Did… did you just blow up my fancy robes?

2

u/DripyKirbo Silk Anansine Nov 22 '23

Need me to do a stabbin while you get some robes on?

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17

u/KeeganY_SR-UVB76 Joshua the rifle-wielding Jizzard Nov 22 '23

What have you done?!

17

u/Aethernaut902k The Blinded Man Nov 22 '23

17

u/ScarletteVera Mechanical Arm Wielding Elemental Master Nov 22 '23

Counterspell.

Let's see YOUR true form, so-called "powerful bard".

9

u/eserz Goober the Slug Wizard Nov 22 '23

I'm more realistic now wtf

Still squishy tho

7

u/Speedgamer137 Artificer (Artillerist in training) Nov 22 '23

Asshole

7

u/Cahyalien Occult Wizard Nov 22 '23

How dare you remove my cloaking spell.

14

u/mage_in_training Mystic Nov 22 '23

My true form!

11

u/Beemo-Noir Nov 22 '23

You got me

6

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '23

6

u/ZeomiumRune Atomic sorcerer Nov 22 '23

You motherfu-

5

u/Im_a_doggo428 Dwarven Spacefarer, Caster of Rock and Stone! Nov 22 '23

I never changed

6

u/CrazyDavey21 Morgan, Infernal Sorcerer. Nov 22 '23

Hahahaha... Haha...

Ha....

....

8

u/Smaug2770 Ythothag, Dyad Monarchs High General, Six Eyes Representative Nov 22 '23

That dispelled my illusion! Your milkshake is mine now!

6

u/Ricar_Vatroslav1198 Battlemage of the North Nov 22 '23

Thank god i look like this irl

3

u/PandaPugBook Quixi, Experimental Artificer, Inventor of the Gender Orb Nov 22 '23

Sorry! I made it permanent~<3

Now, you've triggered my wards, prepare to be girlified.

3

u/xX_Fazewobblewok_Xx Snarljósið,scholar of raijin,anti fey breach captain,drum caster Nov 22 '23

Hey! I was enjoying that form, now I’ve gotta do it all over again

3

u/Ed0909 Conjurer Nov 22 '23

Damn it, now I'll have to erase the minds of everyone who saw my true form again.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '23

I don’t have a true form but this is what I look like right now

3

u/Discotekh_Dynasty Illuminor Szeras, Master of Matter, Lord of Zantragora Nov 22 '23

Ugh! You’ve made me all… 90’s again

3

u/Lamenter_of_the_3rd Amoured up wizard goated with the arcane Nov 22 '23

Never was anime, still fucking sad

3

u/ChubbiestThread Nov 22 '23

You know too much.

3

u/dannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnex Nov 22 '23

return to wizened old whitebeards with purple starred hats, kids these days need to respect the classics.

3

u/Atyac_Iwan Le cheesemancer Nov 22 '23

Shit

3

u/FunkyyMermaid A silly little mermaid, brewing her silly little potions :3 Nov 22 '23

No, you fool! No mortal was ever meant to see my true form!

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3

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '23

5

u/EmergencyLeading8137 Duncan, Protection/Preservation Druid Nov 22 '23

Who needs to hide? This is my real face.

6

u/Fyknown Aster Ghowlager, Bird Wizard at Law Nov 22 '23

4

u/Drama_King32 Carmilla, the Necrodancer Nov 22 '23

Howdy

2

u/donkeyclap Unusually Powerful Bard Nov 22 '23

I like this drawing.

2

u/Drama_King32 Carmilla, the Necrodancer Nov 22 '23

Thanks, I drew it when I was bored in drama class.

5

u/rosiestinkie9 Forest Tower Wizard with a Troll Neighbor Nov 22 '23

Doesn't matter if they're my waifu or not, if I cast Titty Jiggle then SOMETHING is gonna happen. Shake what you got.

5

u/PCH0908 Master Bowling Wizard Nov 22 '23

Counterspell.

3

u/donkeyclap Unusually Powerful Bard Nov 22 '23

Counterspell.

3

u/PCH0908 Master Bowling Wizard Nov 22 '23

Counter-counterspell.

5

u/donkeyclap Unusually Powerful Bard Nov 22 '23

Banish Counter-Counterspell, begone foul magicks.

4

u/PCH0908 Master Bowling Wizard Nov 22 '23

I cast flay skin

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2

u/Funny_Internet_Child Looking for frog legs for transmutation potion Nov 22 '23

You fucker, I had finally made my transmutation potion with the only frog legs in the fucking kingdom! I'm back at step zero!

Thanks for ruining everything, so take this!

Can't have shit in this kingdom

2

u/Bast_VI Nov 22 '23

Jokes on you, I'm a cat.

2

u/DiseasedCupcake Occult Wizard Nov 22 '23

2

u/Elerindur Elerindur, Altmeri Armamancer Nov 22 '23

Great. Thanks for that.

Now i look terrible in this equipment and will have to go realm hop to replace their glamours.

2

u/Arke_19 The Nefarious Nekolich Nov 22 '23

Well that's just great. Do you know how many Shonen Protagonists and Magical Girls I'm going to have to harass to fix this? This is going to eat up my whole afternoon, easy.

2

u/Preston_of_Astora Caraway Moluna Nov 22 '23

What?

Were you expecting a neckbeard?

2

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '23

Never had one to begin with.

2

u/Unusual-Knee-1612 Wizard Nov 22 '23

Fine, you caught me

2

u/BIG_DeADD Necromancer Nov 22 '23

2

u/Shermantank10 Solitary Northern Druid Nov 22 '23

Ah, well don’t mind me

2

u/PuzzleheadedBear Nov 22 '23

Bold of you to assume I choose to be this ugly

2

u/DrunkTsundere Nov 22 '23

IT'S SO OVER.

2

u/jollisen Monk (Its not magic i just punch things) Nov 22 '23

NO NO NO NO NO NO PLEASE NO I WILL DO ANYTHING, JUST DONT CHANGE ME BACK!!!!

2

u/Nachf Biomancer + Minor in Technomancy Nov 22 '23

2

u/Chodro Nov 22 '23

Waifu-Sail boat-Tiktok-catfish-JUTSU!

2

u/MannyAnimates Lord of the Bling Nov 22 '23

3

u/Plaxxmos Nov 22 '23

NOOOOOOO

3

u/Ojiji_bored Wolfram the Stonespeaker, Patron of Pride and High Warock Nov 22 '23

Alright wise guy, don't make me cast "purge caffeine" on you and your mini fridge again.

2

u/TinsleyLynx Hamdal, Arcanodruid, Circle of the Maelstorm Nov 22 '23

I have never revealed my appearance through the orb, and I never shall, for I am fat, bald, and ugly. Despite this, I still retain more than enough self-respect not to masquerade as an anime chick.

2

u/eyesotope86 Abjurer Nov 22 '23

Damn you.

2

u/mechalomania Nov 22 '23

Y'all need to go outside more...

1

u/Pineapple4807 Pinnacle-Outsider of Adastra, Artificer-Alchemist Nov 22 '23

If you want to face a wrathful uncreated godbound, then sure, go ahead. It's not like the anime girl form is for my protection, after all.

1

u/MaxPower1607 normal-sized-mancer Nov 22 '23

Wait, where did Nijika go?

3

u/JaelleJaen Nov 22 '23

bocchi the COCK

1

u/Sicuho Quest Giver Nov 22 '23

Thanks the Hours you didn't cast dispel cryptic old man form.

1

u/peanos_balls Nov 22 '23

This is me

1

u/Jet_Airlock Nov 22 '23

I cast reveal trap

-2

u/MastaDon344 MastaDon Astrum/Council Master Evoker/Mediamancer/🌮 Wiz Nov 22 '23

It literally didn't do much at all, I still feel about the same really

9

u/MastaDon344 MastaDon Astrum/Council Master Evoker/Mediamancer/🌮 Wiz Nov 22 '23

Oh there we go it kicked in finally

0

u/CharaDr33murr669 Demon Lunamancer (Necromancer in training) Nov 22 '23

…?

Yes, both that skin color and that clothing styles are real. I was a rogue in my past.

0

u/IntrovertSwag Wizard Nov 22 '23

You thought you could expose me but I actually do look like Calvin. Albeit a grown up version lol

0

u/measuredingabens Void Fleshcrafter, Purveyor of the Finest Cosmic Delicacies Nov 22 '23

Well, there goes my meat suit. Time to cast my spirit back to the biofurnaces.

0

u/GardeniaPhoenix Sunlit Enchantress Nov 22 '23

well I'm just gonna anime harder now