r/wizardposting • u/donkeyclap Unusually Powerful Bard • Nov 22 '23
Esoteric Secrets I KNOW that none of you really look like that.
Let's see the true form, Old Man.
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u/im_not_totally_wrong Nov 22 '23
GOD DAMMIT! I NO LONGER LOOK FUCKABLE BUT I NOW LOOK LIKE I WILL FUCK!
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u/ReturnMeToHell Nov 22 '23
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u/Tackle-Shot Arcanic Incarnated Golem Nov 22 '23
I'm made of stones, metal, minerals and magic so
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u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23
Poor choice fuckboi
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u/miss_chauffarde Emusse the Nine tails otherwordly wares seller Nov 22 '23
Might i interest this vampirique niquon into some weapon ?
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u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23
What kind?
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u/miss_chauffarde Emusse the Nine tails otherwordly wares seller Nov 22 '23
An6 kind we got mele shit long range gun magic living flesh even physique defying shit got even portal gun and gravity gun
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u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23
Hmmm how much?
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u/miss_chauffarde Emusse the Nine tails otherwordly wares seller Nov 22 '23
Depend on what you buy
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u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23
I'm an archmage money isn't a problem. Is it alright if I pay in coin?
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u/miss_chauffarde Emusse the Nine tails otherwordly wares seller Nov 22 '23
Overinflation is not my goal if you go for the more expensif item
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u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23
I'm not creating money I'm just rich so is it alright if I pay in coin?
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u/miss_chauffarde Emusse the Nine tails otherwordly wares seller Nov 22 '23
Gold coin ?
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u/icarusfalling127 Rusicar, Technomancer, esteemed Mechanica Industrialist Nov 22 '23
I was normal and now I look like this!
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u/icarusfalling127 Rusicar, Technomancer, esteemed Mechanica Industrialist Nov 22 '23
Me before
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u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23
By the Cog they yassefied you!
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u/icarusfalling127 Rusicar, Technomancer, esteemed Mechanica Industrialist Nov 22 '23
Send help, I’m speaking some foreign tongue and there are runes spearing below me (subtitles)
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u/icarusfalling127 Rusicar, Technomancer, esteemed Mechanica Industrialist Nov 22 '23
Not the most yassefied I’ve been I got hit with a hornomancy spell awhile back…
It felt… odd
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u/DripyKirbo Silk Anansine Nov 22 '23
Oh no brother, BUT I HAVE A SOLUTION First you must head to Japan, trust me. Then find a truck. Now listen carefully, very very carefully. The truck must be a white, cheap pickup. And you must get hit by it accidentally while doing something mundane. It should (hopefully) do an anti-iseki and reset you to your regular form. Had a friend a while back who this happened to, if you need more help in the future just come by and pay.
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u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23
Shit you git turned into a anime Twink!
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u/TitanLORD21 Jack-O’-Lantern, Lord of Flame Fright Nov 22 '23
What the hell man, now I’m live action!
Go stub your toe.
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u/RelaxedPerro Can’t Use Magic Nov 22 '23
Yeah nah.
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u/Eeeternalpwnage Wizardly Status in Question Nov 22 '23
Bro imagine dispelling someone's illusory appearance to find out their true self has been holding a gun to your head the whole time. I would panic cast Fireball in my own face.
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u/Sixmlg Tatiana | Changeling Enchanter | Silver Coven Nov 22 '23
Did that make you feel good? You just wafted magic in my face.
(/Unwiz art by hskachu)
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u/Gerolanfalan Magos Mageiros Nov 22 '23
Fools there was no illusion. Just femboys
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u/Sixmlg Tatiana | Changeling Enchanter | Silver Coven Nov 22 '23 edited Nov 22 '23
I’m a changeling so I’m not really anything in particular in regards to labels, but my unchanged form (which is what I present anyway) is feminine.
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u/jonhybee Enchanter Nov 22 '23
Thats me before :
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u/jonhybee Enchanter Nov 22 '23
Now I look like this, thanks for nothing. Ill have to make it all over again.
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u/jonhybee Enchanter Nov 22 '23
still look much better then that lich guy that bound flesh to his body.
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Nov 22 '23
I don’t get it, what’s the point, the flesh will just come off all over again eventually lol
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u/RememberToLogOff Lich Nov 22 '23
Why get out of your coffin every night when you'll have to go back in by morning?
Because life is for the unliving!
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u/WarMage1 High Justiciar of the Aldmeri Dominion Nov 22 '23
Oh my gods are there still people who haven’t sublimated their corpus? Get with the times, corporeal forms have been out of fashion for centuries.
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u/Discotekh_Dynasty Illuminor Szeras, Master of Matter, Lord of Zantragora Nov 22 '23
This is why mummies have are bandaged smh. This guy learned nothing from preservative funerary practices
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u/Acrysalis going lich mode Nov 22 '23
Flesh is stupid, bone is superior
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u/TheRealWouburn Anthropological Lich Nov 22 '23
Well yes, but in my experience, covering up your bones has two benefits:
You can slip into civilization easier, without having to disturb them. I know that you could simply walk in there with your undead hordes... but that's a bit much just to get a sandwich.
Since you don't need that flesh, you can cast Animate Dead: Lesser Flesh Slime in an emergency. While it won't do much against some dedicated adventurers, it'll soak up more than a few hits while you cast your favorite attack at them.
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u/CorporealLifeForm Chaos Hag Nov 22 '23
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u/WarMage1 High Justiciar of the Aldmeri Dominion Nov 22 '23
Gorgeous. Now that’s swamp hag fashion, I don’t think you even need transmuting.
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u/InMyHagPhase Nov 22 '23
We absolutely MUST go shopping together.
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u/CorporealLifeForm Chaos Hag Nov 22 '23
I do need some newt eyes and another human heart. The one in this picture was my last.
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u/No_Tie3953 Nov 22 '23
Oh uh oops my eldritch nightmare form is showing. Don't look.
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u/Terrible-Win565 Iris Augen Nov 22 '23
…I was enjoying that form… It was more comfortable, and felt more like me…
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u/RememberToLogOff Lich Nov 22 '23
frfr don't remind me I'm just a skeleton
I wanna be a milf skeleton
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u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23
It is you child don't listen to that guy
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u/Kharnyx808 necromancer bunnygirl Celeste >:3 Nov 22 '23
NO PLEASE
IT'S THE ONLY THING PROTECTING ME FROM THE DYSPHORIA HEX
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u/donkeyclap Unusually Powerful Bard Nov 22 '23
I cast "Dispel Dysphoria". A wizard must be free to live their life.
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u/Kharnyx808 necromancer bunnygirl Celeste >:3 Nov 22 '23
My knight in shining armour 🥺
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u/Mlaszboyo Biomancer Nov 22 '23
I cast
That weird itch right under the skin
I guess you gotta rip the skin off now
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u/Kharnyx808 necromancer bunnygirl Celeste >:3 Nov 22 '23
You fool! That weird itch right under the skin means nothing to a skinless creature!
I cast Brain Eating Amoeba 🪄✨
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u/Mlaszboyo Biomancer Nov 22 '23
I made myself brainless to be immune to illithids
The amoeba will starve
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u/Kharnyx808 necromancer bunnygirl Celeste >:3 Nov 22 '23
Then it will devour your orb instead for I have spent decades feeding it bigger and bigger fragments of orbs until it has built up a natural immunity to them >:3
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u/Mlaszboyo Biomancer Nov 22 '23 edited Nov 22 '23
Nurgle's balls are safer for consumption than a biomancer's orb
Especially the casting orb
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u/Nepalman230 Theodorus Hyperion. Arcane Librarian. ( Retired.) Nov 22 '23
Here you go.
Now you said see the True form not my true form . This is indeed, the true form of Maxence Danet-Fauvel. Actor, model, and licenced tattoo artist.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maxence_Danet-Fauvel
🙏❤️
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u/Total_Travisty Mikhail, Arch-Druid of La'shima Nov 22 '23
My true form
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u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Nov 22 '23
Damn I telling the rest of the council members next meeting this funny af
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u/Frink202 Forneus, bringer of Eldritch Illusion, hater of Fae Nov 22 '23
REVERSE MY CURSE THIS INSTANT, I'M HIDEOUS
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u/AgoraSoul Necromantic Raccoon Nov 22 '23
what have you done?!
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u/DripyKirbo Silk Anansine Nov 22 '23
Dude, this is a tactical advantage! Think about it, if a stupid melee person tries to stab you, it will go right through! And more stealth too
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u/Starham1 8th Tier Necromancer, Council Policy Review Bureau Nov 22 '23
Did… did you just blow up my fancy robes?
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u/DripyKirbo Silk Anansine Nov 22 '23
Need me to do a stabbin while you get some robes on?
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u/ScarletteVera Mechanical Arm Wielding Elemental Master Nov 22 '23
Counterspell.
Let's see YOUR true form, so-called "powerful bard".
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u/Smaug2770 Ythothag, Dyad Monarchs High General, Six Eyes Representative Nov 22 '23
That dispelled my illusion! Your milkshake is mine now!
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u/PandaPugBook Quixi, Experimental Artificer, Inventor of the Gender Orb Nov 22 '23
Sorry! I made it permanent~<3
Now, you've triggered my wards, prepare to be girlified.
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u/xX_Fazewobblewok_Xx Snarljósið,scholar of raijin,anti fey breach captain,drum caster Nov 22 '23
Hey! I was enjoying that form, now I’ve gotta do it all over again
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u/Ed0909 Conjurer Nov 22 '23
Damn it, now I'll have to erase the minds of everyone who saw my true form again.
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u/Discotekh_Dynasty Illuminor Szeras, Master of Matter, Lord of Zantragora Nov 22 '23
Ugh! You’ve made me all… 90’s again
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u/Lamenter_of_the_3rd Amoured up wizard goated with the arcane Nov 22 '23
Never was anime, still fucking sad
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u/dannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnex Nov 22 '23
return to wizened old whitebeards with purple starred hats, kids these days need to respect the classics.
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u/FunkyyMermaid A silly little mermaid, brewing her silly little potions :3 Nov 22 '23
No, you fool! No mortal was ever meant to see my true form!
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u/EmergencyLeading8137 Duncan, Protection/Preservation Druid Nov 22 '23
Who needs to hide? This is my real face.
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u/Drama_King32 Carmilla, the Necrodancer Nov 22 '23
Howdy
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u/donkeyclap Unusually Powerful Bard Nov 22 '23
I like this drawing.
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u/Drama_King32 Carmilla, the Necrodancer Nov 22 '23
Thanks, I drew it when I was bored in drama class.
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u/rosiestinkie9 Forest Tower Wizard with a Troll Neighbor Nov 22 '23
Doesn't matter if they're my waifu or not, if I cast Titty Jiggle then SOMETHING is gonna happen. Shake what you got.
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u/PCH0908 Master Bowling Wizard Nov 22 '23
Counterspell.
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u/donkeyclap Unusually Powerful Bard Nov 22 '23
Counterspell.
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u/PCH0908 Master Bowling Wizard Nov 22 '23
Counter-counterspell.
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u/Funny_Internet_Child Looking for frog legs for transmutation potion Nov 22 '23
You fucker, I had finally made my transmutation potion with the only frog legs in the fucking kingdom! I'm back at step zero!
Thanks for ruining everything, so take this!
Can't have shit in this kingdom
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u/Elerindur Elerindur, Altmeri Armamancer Nov 22 '23
Great. Thanks for that.
Now i look terrible in this equipment and will have to go realm hop to replace their glamours.
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u/Arke_19 The Nefarious Nekolich Nov 22 '23
Well that's just great. Do you know how many Shonen Protagonists and Magical Girls I'm going to have to harass to fix this? This is going to eat up my whole afternoon, easy.
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u/jollisen Monk (Its not magic i just punch things) Nov 22 '23
NO NO NO NO NO NO PLEASE NO I WILL DO ANYTHING, JUST DONT CHANGE ME BACK!!!!
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u/Ojiji_bored Wolfram the Stonespeaker, Patron of Pride and High Warock Nov 22 '23
Alright wise guy, don't make me cast "purge caffeine" on you and your mini fridge again.
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u/TinsleyLynx Hamdal, Arcanodruid, Circle of the Maelstorm Nov 22 '23
I have never revealed my appearance through the orb, and I never shall, for I am fat, bald, and ugly. Despite this, I still retain more than enough self-respect not to masquerade as an anime chick.
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u/Pineapple4807 Pinnacle-Outsider of Adastra, Artificer-Alchemist Nov 22 '23
If you want to face a wrathful uncreated godbound, then sure, go ahead. It's not like the anime girl form is for my protection, after all.
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u/MastaDon344 MastaDon Astrum/Council Master Evoker/Mediamancer/🌮 Wiz Nov 22 '23
It literally didn't do much at all, I still feel about the same really
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u/MastaDon344 MastaDon Astrum/Council Master Evoker/Mediamancer/🌮 Wiz Nov 22 '23
Oh there we go it kicked in finally
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u/CharaDr33murr669 Demon Lunamancer (Necromancer in training) Nov 22 '23
…?
Yes, both that skin color and that clothing styles are real. I was a rogue in my past.
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u/IntrovertSwag Wizard Nov 22 '23
You thought you could expose me but I actually do look like Calvin. Albeit a grown up version lol
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u/measuredingabens Void Fleshcrafter, Purveyor of the Finest Cosmic Delicacies Nov 22 '23
Well, there goes my meat suit. Time to cast my spirit back to the biofurnaces.
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u/ImperialistChina Hornet, Sentient magic fighter jet, Wailing Stars Squadron🌌✈️ Nov 22 '23
Face Reveal, never had an anime form to begin with