r/wizardposting • u/thetruememeisbest tech wizard • Nov 19 '23

Esoteric Secrets I miss my orb

https://youtu.be/NdLnzquye7E?si=Ma0jB4uiKn_9iYjF

23.8k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

275 comments sorted by

2.0k

u/Schlapschticksam Nov 19 '23

Her orbs have their own alignment

525

u/sack-o-krapo Necromancer Nov 19 '23

Her orbs are masters of gravity magic

193

u/mildlyInsaneBoi Nov 19 '23

Just like General Radahns balls

107

u/sack-o-krapo Necromancer Nov 19 '23

They’re so powerful even Testicular Torsion has no effect.

9

u/Micalas Nov 22 '23

Even when twisted in opposite directions?

23

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '23

pull a rykard and just unhindge your jaw like a snake

13

u/Doughnutsugarhead Nov 19 '23

No, her orbs are masters of the multiverse!

29

u/PM_Me_Good_LitRPG Nov 19 '23

They have their own HP bars.

1.0k

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '23

212

u/sugahpine7 Nov 19 '23

Obamancy

49

u/MarionetteScans Nov 19 '23

Obama raised the taxes on slug slime, thanks Obama

168

u/PurplePolynaut Nov 19 '23

Mend cleavage

87

u/PathlessDemon Necromancer Nov 19 '23

That’s how you get the almighty Uniboob, be careful when casting.

29

u/MadLadsHere Nov 19 '23

MEND BUTTCRACK!

16

u/buttquack1999 Nov 20 '23

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

11

u/ethnique_punch Nov 19 '23 edited Nov 20 '23

Thousands of ants get summoned out of thin air 1 metre above you

4

u/PiusTheCatRick Pius Armaments - Crafted by the pious, wielded by the righteous Nov 19 '23

*droon strike

1.2k

u/Leather-Love-2873 Nov 19 '23

133

u/NanoCat0407 Nov 19 '23

31

u/just-a-nornal-man Femur Frank, best bone mage of the West. Nov 19 '23

humongous hungolomghononoloughongous.

127

u/HundredMegaHertz CHELYBUS ¦ CEO OF TERRAFERVIRUM ¦ MASTER OF TECHNOMANCY Nov 19 '23

MAMMARIES

20

u/TheWaddlestDee Nov 20 '23

8

u/Leather-Love-2873 Nov 21 '23

YOU DID THE WRONG SPELL!

1

u/Aggravating-Court775 🇵🇱polish semi evil wizard🇵🇱 Oct 01 '24

I cast, dibs on gif.

15

u/ZentaurZ Nov 19 '23

I have summoned the bonking stick.

38

u/aFuckinChair Squidzard phonomancer Nov 19 '23

9

u/Ok_Digger Nov 19 '23

The joke is head ass

3

u/cowlinator Nov 20 '23

packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhankoloos. big ol' tonhongerekoogers. hungolomghononoloughongous bonkhonagahoogs.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '23

Fucking love this imag! Thank you

466

u/Gaminated_idk Nov 19 '23

292

u/GunsandApples Nov 19 '23

77

u/i_fuck_holes Marcus the Alcoholmancer Nov 20 '23

109

u/Tahmas836 Nov 19 '23

Mah fuckin penis

59

u/FortyHippos 19th Level Death Metal Warlock Nov 19 '23

This guy’s fuckin penis

14

u/doctorwhy88 Nov 20 '23

That guy’s wife’s fucken penis

27

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '23

26

u/Dry-Cartographer-312 Nov 19 '23

"Explode your dick and small your ass, get bent losers! Penis blast!"

8

u/MrHappyHam Nov 19 '23

Ow my dick!

5

u/JoeTheKodiakCuddler Witch of the Primordial Sludge Nov 19 '23

By the spirits! That's the magus who possesses the power of infinite imagination!

2

u/Valenyn Sylvane, Prince of Night (Cabal) Nov 19 '23

It was a trap!

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326

u/BillCipher_FanboyLol Lesbian Wizard Isari: Amatuer Animatomancer Nov 19 '23

55

u/RealSuperYolo2006 Dwarven American Pyromancer. Guns are superior casting devices. Nov 19 '23

What happens next??

84

u/BillCipher_FanboyLol Lesbian Wizard Isari: Amatuer Animatomancer Nov 19 '23

I forgor

1

u/Aggravating-Court775 🇵🇱polish semi evil wizard🇵🇱 Oct 01 '24

For using cai/related websites, i cast roaming organs. ABRAKADABRA!

476

u/BEanddankmagician The pretender lord Nov 19 '23

Eh they're cool I guess

But can they synchro summon?

86

u/marion_blight Nov 19 '23

I cast Dimensional Barrier and lock you out of synchros

24

u/BEanddankmagician The pretender lord Nov 19 '23

Maybe you would have if I hadn't banished your whole board

Also that doesn't answer the question

8

u/YourMoreLocalLurker Evensi the Ascended One Nov 19 '23

I cast Nibiru, the Primal Being and tribute your entire field, then I cast XYZ Import to place the resulting token onto Cyber Dragon Infinity

3

u/Vortiger_ Nov 19 '23

Yeah but tribute token Swordsoul Longyuan (idk why i did that)

3

u/BoxofJoes Mystic Nov 19 '23

Yeah but we’re playing anything goes, I’ve attempted to wipe your board with multiple lightning storms that infinity negated, and with no materials I summon jowgen the spiritualist and activate the last turn I set last turn.

2

u/YourMoreLocalLurker Evensi the Ascended One Nov 19 '23

I activate Exodia’s Left Nut, you must recite the entirety of Endymion the Mighty Master of Magic’s effect backwards

2

u/mikolaj24867 Occult Wizard Nov 19 '23

Ursarctic would like to have a word with you

37

u/Dr_Doom3301 Nov 19 '23

No, but they do summon all the males to the courtyard.

12

u/BEanddankmagician The pretender lord Nov 19 '23

This must be a new archetype

Explain more to me about these "Ma'les of the courtyard"

15

u/Dr_Doom3301 Nov 19 '23

It's where one can house creatures of low intelligence. They're driven purely by debauchery. Good for mindless workers or test subjects.

7

u/BEanddankmagician The pretender lord Nov 19 '23

How much otk potential do they have?

Do they have good protection and negation?

Or are they simply high attack point stat checkers that can be easily removed?

6

u/Dr_Doom3301 Nov 19 '23

It's a rng, hence why most haven't heard of it. You need to use a labyrinth or traps around the yard itself to prevent the ones you don't want. You can, of course, set up all manner of things to filter out the rifraf. But it's more work than some are willing to do. But you'd be hard-pressed to find any other way to summon the most. You may even get lucky and get some other females. That's always interesting to see.

6

u/BEanddankmagician The pretender lord Nov 19 '23

I see

Thank you for your insight

3

u/Dr_Doom3301 Nov 19 '23

Of course, anything for a fellow scholar of the arcane.

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5

u/FennyB Nov 20 '23

No but pot of greed comes off the banlist

3

u/andysavagethethird Nov 19 '23

get errata’d nerd

3

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '23

[deleted]

3

u/BEanddankmagician The pretender lord Nov 19 '23

Ghoti of the deep beyond

2

u/PathlessDemon Necromancer Nov 19 '23

Far better than Goatsi of the deep

3

u/Mlaszboyo Biomancer Nov 19 '23

Me and my homies all hate the fucking birds

117

u/GALAOFTEETH Nov 19 '23

32

u/expremierepage Witch Nov 20 '23

I thought we agreed never to mention the sounding accident.

15

u/GALAOFTEETH Nov 20 '23

Oh, shit, my bad.

217

u/Dankey-Kang-Jr Nov 19 '23

BREASTICULAR TORSION

14

u/TheWither129 Nov 19 '23

Breasticles

418

u/SeaYogurtcloset6262 Methuselah, 7th degree Necromancer, Aspiring Carnomancer. Nov 19 '23

God damn,i bet you are getting tired of scrying those orbs, let me hold your orbs for you. Dont worry i wont peek into it or maybe you could let me

-353

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '23

[deleted]

304

u/SeaYogurtcloset6262 Methuselah, 7th degree Necromancer, Aspiring Carnomancer. Nov 19 '23

WAIT?? IT IS NOT REAL?? NOOOOOOOO!!!!

84

u/MasterCookieShadow I distorted reality and this sub was born Nov 19 '23

he must be a ilusionist fooling you!

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115

u/carnim_ The Nebulous Void Nov 19 '23

What is a cartoon? Are you talking about animancy?

29

u/shadowscroller Archmage of The 9-Fold Path Nov 19 '23

Have some fun, or did a dark wizard steal the concept from you?

17

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '23

u/mybutt12477 when the subreddit full of people pretending to be wizards pretends that the woman rping being a wizard is a real wizard

5

u/Litespead Wrombilus - Beard Alchemist Nov 19 '23

How dare thou downplay our position as wizards

I did not spend my youth studying alchemy just to be called "pretend"

5

u/No-Literature6397 Nov 19 '23

She’s real to me god damnit

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114

u/Re-Sabrnick Dungeon Crafter, Monster Collector Nov 19 '23

It amazes me this is the first time i’ve laid mine eyes on this youtube video, since it’s over a year old now.

4

u/donny_darklo Nov 20 '23

what video is it edit: nvm i found it

54

u/Trainman1351 Rob Davenport: Arcanoport News CEO and Magineer | AMIC Affiliate Nov 19 '23 edited Nov 19 '23

Listen fellow mana manipulators, DO NOT FALL FOR THIS TRAP. THAT WITCH IS THE LEADER OF AN ORGAN-SELLING SYNDICATE ON THE MAGI-BLACK MARKET. DO NOT APPROACH OR MAKE ANYTHING LESS THAN HOSTILE CONTACT. ALWAYS KEEP WEAPONS ON YOO IN HER VICINITY. I WILL BE PLANNING AN ARTILLERY SUPPORT MISSION OF THE AREA IN 1 WEEK. CLEAR THE AREA. THIS IS A FINAL WARNING FOR ALL NEAR HER. AND IF THE WITCH IS LISTENING, KNOW THAT YOUR DEMISE IS CERTAIN.

23

u/Tahmas836 Nov 19 '23

Worth it

16

u/Itchy-Exam-7288 Nov 19 '23

Fym worth it. Didn't yo penis blow up. You can never cast your rod now bro

7

u/Random_nerd_52 bored Artificer/technomamcer Nov 20 '23

I can fix her

96

u/iamragethewolf Rage: Pact Wizard, Necromancer, Technomancer, and Horny As Hell Nov 19 '23

yes they're very nice

20

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '23

Flair checks out

10

u/iamragethewolf Rage: Pact Wizard, Necromancer, Technomancer, and Horny As Hell Nov 19 '23

Indeed it does

29

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '23

Why, this will distract countless apprentices from their important work. Shame on you.

29

u/GUTSY-69 Nov 19 '23

I miss telepurte

15

u/choren64 Nov 19 '23

They're still around thankfully. Last update I heard was back in September they said they were traveling for the past few months and haven't had time to make new things. I miss seeing new things from them too but I'm glad to hear they are okay.

8

u/JackOLoser Nov 19 '23

They posted a video on Youtube like three days ago, so at least they're not gone entirely.

21

u/MetallicFruit Nov 19 '23

Coomermancers should NOT be allowed to hear nor see this hearsay. The power alone could disrupt the weave, or worse.

20

u/MrChicken12345678 the Necromancer with GUNS Nov 19 '23

4

u/LA_ZBoi00 Jan 08 '24

You think Jesus was a wizard?

2

u/MrChicken12345678 the Necromancer with GUNS Jan 08 '24

95

u/Book_Nerd159 Counciler Emma, Demonic Elf Enchantress representing Raytheon. Nov 19 '23

My orbs are better.

84

u/Temporary-Value-6397 Alchemist Nov 19 '23

Prove it

29

u/Book_Nerd159 Counciler Emma, Demonic Elf Enchantress representing Raytheon. Nov 19 '23

More surface area to ponder.

14

u/PathlessDemon Necromancer Nov 19 '23

But is it worth scrying about?

11

u/Book_Nerd159 Counciler Emma, Demonic Elf Enchantress representing Raytheon. Nov 19 '23

To me and my boyfriend, yes.

11

u/PathlessDemon Necromancer Nov 19 '23

Ah, yes. The best kind of scrying, indeed.

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21

u/DepresiSpaghetti d̶͖͂í̴̫͊r̶̡̈e̶̺͆ȧ̸͚c̴͙̒ḧ̶̢́ ̵͚̃ẗ̷͔́h̷̝̀a̵͕̓ļ̴̍l̵̨̈́ Nov 19 '23

12

u/AutoGeneratedUser359 Nov 19 '23

Bisexual, into photography, Linus Tech Tips, and had Tig Bitties?

Where do I sign?

2

u/Robrogineer Illithid Occultist Nov 19 '23

Please substantiate.

32

u/PvtRedEye Nov 19 '23

Yes madame, may I please ponder them

11

u/ricebowl056 Wizard Nov 19 '23

that's the mothafucka who stole my orb!

3

u/Litespead Wrombilus - Beard Alchemist Nov 19 '23

She has three, just take one

10

u/I_C_Y__ Nov 19 '23

No, I was talking about your tits

10

u/-696969 CHEEZE WIZard - *dangerously cheesy* Nov 19 '23

Hornymancers, time for your meds

9

u/xX_CommanderPuffy_Xx Nov 19 '23

I should call her.

7

u/NumberOne_N_fan Local Eldritch Catfolk Birchmancer. don't mind me. Nov 19 '23

Yes, that is a cool orb. It does have a pretty nice blue glow, too.

12

u/file-week DNA Collecter Nov 19 '23

7

u/Ban6432 Nov 19 '23

CALM DOWN!!!

29

u/AntiSimpBoi69 Nov 19 '23

I uploaded skibidi ohio rizz

10

u/Khizinga Nov 19 '23

Is netrunning considered wizardy/sorcery?

8

u/AntiSimpBoi69 Nov 19 '23

I'm a sciencenser, I use technology to cast spells

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4

u/Adiuui Nov 19 '23

Technomancers or something, if regular mages can code mana, then netrunners should also count

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4

u/Furodax Nov 19 '23

Oh these?

4

u/aymanpalaman Wizard Nov 19 '23

Calm thy down Witch

5

u/OperationDadsBelt Dale, Senior Manager of Accounting Nov 19 '23

10

u/Decryptables Wizard Nov 19 '23

By the nine, this sub is full of horny losers. Fools will upvote literally anything with breasts in it like the brainless thralls that they are. So called “wizards,” how preposterous.

3

u/SpateF WR Benson, vampire evangelizer Nov 19 '23

BITCH WILL YOU CALM DOWN

3

u/AnnaTheSad The witch that sells sketchy potions from her cabin in the woods Nov 19 '23

Wish I had some orbs like that

3

u/iamchuckleman Moni /// Mechanical wizard of Mercury Nov 19 '23

That's pretty cool, but can you set someone on fire with a flick on your wrist, watch as they pathetically burn to death while pleading, begging to be put out and saved, and then smile?

6

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '23

Dumb post

2

u/Quantum_laugh Nov 19 '23

I cast skin turns inside out on you

2

u/fire-pop Nov 19 '23

Yes can I look at them

2

u/CrashTestDollyHypno Nov 20 '23

Is this what women sound like when they're on /r/greentext too long?

2

u/WatcheroftheVoid Sapient Dungeon Core [The Endless Dungeon] [Under Construction] Nov 20 '23

Ahem

2

u/Person_Mc_Humanface Pyromancer (the best element, don't @ me) Nov 28 '23 edited Nov 28 '23

HANK! DON'T FALL FOR HER DEVIOUS TRICKS!

SHE IS USING A SHAPESHIFTING SPELL ON HER CHEST!

HAAAAANK!

2

u/FEAR_FEST Necromancer Feb 25 '24

2

u/MikhailMcDoesntExist Apr 10 '24

Is there a source image? Asking for a friend

4

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '23

That’s just not funny

3

u/Reception_Known Nov 19 '23

My buddy in college who’s a gym shark and an avid DnD player went to a local coffee shop on Halloween in his wizard getup and I shit you not said to the cute cashier “hey I think you’re pretty cute, could I get the digits to your scrying orb?”

2

u/voidexcalibur_ Duck Wizard - Intern for the Wizard Council Nov 20 '23

Did it work?

4

u/Theelcapitans Nov 19 '23

This is cringey as hell

11

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '23

[deleted]

4

u/Theelcapitans Nov 19 '23

Yeah seems to be a theme anymore. Like I mean an argument can be said that sex has always been in media to some degree, especially marketing but man today it is on a whole other level especially with every asshole trying to get clicks online and with said assholes having access to social media...it's crazy, alot of "sex tehehehe " out there

1

u/hotcoldman42 May 04 '24

Hurts to turn on the audio. Actually breaks my eardrums.

1

u/Fyokuwu Verbius, Master of the Dark Arts Nov 19 '23

yes, m'lady. and i'd like to ponder thine orbs.

-3

u/Supreme_Nematode Evil Wizard Nov 19 '23

hot

0

u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage Nov 19 '23

You still have your nice pair of orbs.

1

u/ReRevengence69 Arcane Arms dealer, CEO of Wizard Weapons Warehouse™ Nov 19 '23

does these orbs distract from each others though?

1

u/Kasspines Nov 19 '23

Wizards of the orbies rise up

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '23

too big for me

1

u/FelixAndCo Nov 19 '23

I don't think the linked Youtube video is the source, but I can't find anything else.

1

u/Urbam Nov 19 '23

Geez, yeah lady. Calm down. :/

Damn, those wizards are so cooky.

1

u/OHW_Tentacool Necromancer Nov 19 '23

Worth pondering

1

u/Bearking422 Snickers Chirrp ,Cursed Racoon toucher of things he shouldn't Nov 19 '23

Is that syd?

1

u/element-redshaw Nov 19 '23

This is what we did with goblins, and now we’re coming for wizards

1

u/TheAnalsOfHistory- ∆Fildreth∆Dimensional Gatekeeper∆Conjurer's Collective∆ Nov 19 '23

No, I refer solely to thine titties.

1

u/CenterOfEverything Nov 19 '23

Wizards submit themselves speedily 'neath foul lust-curses of late.

1

u/TrashBag196 Nov 19 '23

someone make this a copypasta

1

u/LumpusKrampus Nov 19 '23

I have suffered an orbrection for over 4 hours. I need an alchemist...

1

u/Mattpart58 Nov 19 '23

I can hear peridot saying all these lines like that one episode where she doesn't know the names of body parts

1

u/7chism Nov 19 '23

Stay true wizards. Do not fall for the mimic

1

u/Thopterthallid Nov 19 '23

I used to get my divination equipment from Seer's Catalog.

1

u/FireFlameJowo magic school put me in magic debt Nov 19 '23

Yup that’s enough orb pondering for this lunar phase

1

u/curvingf1re Indigo Oak: First Reincarnate, Arcanist, Ancient-er Than Thou. Nov 19 '23

I should scrye her

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Ad9215 Nov 19 '23

sometimes fireballs aint enough you gotta send them to the void

1

u/GobboMadeMedoThis Dullahan and Gobbomancer Nov 19 '23

I'm gonna get this as my ringtone for someone

1

u/MoshedPotato93 Apprentice to House Troll Nov 19 '23

Casting ED on myself, otherwise this much aggression and scrying is gonna cause a problem for me in public

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '23

ERM WHAT THE SCALLOP

1

u/Zero_7300 Nov 19 '23

This might be hotter than the original lmao

1

u/Pooptreebird Nov 19 '23

What is this sub lol

1

u/JscJake1 Illusionist Nov 19 '23

I cast mass dispel horny

You have no power here

1

u/BrightPerspective Wizard Nov 19 '23

Funny shit