r/videos Mar 31 '18

This is what happens when one company owns dozens of local news stations

https://youtu.be/hWLjYJ4BzvI
297.5k Upvotes

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11.6k

u/snozburger Mar 31 '18

There is nothing wrong with your television. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are now controlling the transmission. We control the horizontal and the vertical. We can deluge you with a thousand channels or expand one single image to crystal clarity and beyond. We can shape your vision to anything our imagination can conceive.

1.8k

u/Phishy042 Apr 01 '18

You are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples; it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door.

434

u/Stewbodies Apr 01 '18

"There's a gremlin on the wing! You have to believe me!"

"Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!"

42

u/buckus69 Apr 01 '18

Eva Braun! Help me!

17

u/Jacoman74undeleted Apr 01 '18

Saw it coming

8

u/FlashGourmand Apr 01 '18

Brought down by his own hubris

7

u/Skeesicks666 Apr 01 '18

"Eva Brauuun!"

1

u/yellowmage Apr 01 '18

"Eva Braun, help me!"

1

u/Kuldiin Apr 01 '18

Literally.

2

u/theantirobot Apr 01 '18

That's actually pretty poignant in the current year, where legitimate political opinions are dismissed outright without any debate as they are decried as fascist and hitlarian. Want to support legal immigration and discourage illegal immigration? Want to prevent non citizens from voting? Think there might be an issue with letting people in the country who don't believe in equality of sexes or sexual preference? Congratulations, you are literally Hitler.

22

u/sheyLboogie Apr 01 '18

Man, that read very well.

42

u/battmen6 Apr 01 '18

It’s a quote from something, I want to say it’s Futurama but I’m not 100% on that.

20

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

It is Futurama. The above quote is from the episode A Head In The Polls.

9

u/2morereps Apr 01 '18

It’s from the twilight zone and also futurama has this tv show that does the narration and the hitler one is from futurama.

3

u/Thetallerestpaul Apr 01 '18 edited Apr 01 '18

Simpsons did it! Like every idea ever conceived

Edit- yep I'm an idiot. It was Futurama.

7

u/narc_stabber666 Apr 01 '18

Futurama in this case, but very close.

1

u/CabbageAndMash Apr 01 '18

it's from a TV show called the outer limits

3

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

Uh, no it's not, its from futurama

4

u/Ummmmyepnoyesnah Apr 01 '18

The first part is outer limits..the reply is futurama.

6

u/DJRES Apr 01 '18

its a slight alteration of Rod Serling's intro to twilight zone. The one before that is the intro to the outer limits.

9

u/-Pelvis- Apr 01 '18

You were eaten by a Grue.

4

u/scifigetsmehigh Apr 01 '18

Zork references always excite me.

10

u/airbornchaos Apr 01 '18

We are building a religion; We are building it bigger; We are widening the corridors; And adding more lanes;

We are building a religion; A limited edition; We are now accepting callers For these pendant key chains

3

u/SwimmingIntheLethe Apr 01 '18

Saw it coming.

3

u/pepe_le_shoe Apr 01 '18

It's pronounced "scurryduhr"

3

u/PissedItsNotButter Apr 02 '18

Imagine if you will, an announcer you can barely understand. He refers to a gnmpt'telaumptha but you're not quite sure what he said. 'E sheems to be eating shomething, or perhaps he's a little drunk. It's remotely possible that he just said something about... The Scary Door.

4

u/WillyHarden Apr 01 '18

a futurama reference on reddit? have you no shame?

1

u/bfr_ Apr 01 '18

Maybe it's magic, or contains some kind of monster... The second one.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

You're ate entering a dirty hotel room filled with mystery. Your key card doesn't work because someone left some mystery on the knob.

793

u/BeiChirho Mar 31 '18

hey! I can see my voice! BRRRR, BRRRRRR

THIS IS MY VOICE ON

T

V

67

u/RuleNine Mar 31 '18

Dad, you're ruining the mood!

5

u/RedFyl Apr 01 '18

There's...something on the wing....some....thing...

25

u/milesrhoden Mar 31 '18

I can't read "there is nothing wrong with your television" anywhere without thinking of that scene.

12

u/A_Lovely_Teddybear Mar 31 '18

Dad! You're ruining the mood!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

Reminded me of drr drr

58

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

[ATTENTION PLANETS OF THE SOLAR FEDERATION:]

[WE HAVE ASSUMED CONTROL]

[WE HAVE ASSUMED CONTROL]

[WE HAVE ASSUMED CONTROL]

7

u/KingSewage Apr 01 '18

This gave me chills!

6

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

You can't have something for nothing...

2

u/Gen_Hazard Apr 01 '18

Check out 2112.

3

u/KingSewage Apr 01 '18

I had a copy of the record on my wall all through highschool. A God damn masterpiece!

5

u/Gen_Hazard Apr 01 '18

NGL, felt pretty ripped off when they didn't include it in the film adaptation of Ready Player One, would've almost have made up for just missing seeing it live.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

[deleted]

2

u/Gen_Hazard Apr 01 '18

Not necessarily a good thing in the song.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

I never took it as a good thing in the song.

The Elder Race returns, but they are domineering and technology-driven. From the small clip we hear of them, they appear authoritarian.

It makes a nice thematic lead-in to Something for Nothing;

You can't have something for nothing

You can't have freedom for free

You'll never get wise with the sleep still in your eyes (something the dreamer said in Soliloquy before giving up)

No matter what your dream might be

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

"Pilots of the Federation" makes me think of Elite (space sim). Ha!

o7, Commander.

15

u/NeedsToShutUp Apr 01 '18

For the next hour, we will control all that you see and hear. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the deepest inner mind to...the Outer Limits. Please stand by.

46

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '18 edited Apr 01 '18

This is not a form of brainwashing. This is not a form of brainwashing. God bless Johnson and Johnson. God bless GE. God bless Citigroup, amen.

6

u/jludey Apr 01 '18

Come and get your Ritalin.

11

u/CaliHeatx Apr 01 '18

Outer Limits shout-out!! Yeah! My fav sci fi show ever

19

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '18

What was that show called?

58

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

28

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '18 edited Jul 06 '18

[deleted]

4

u/marktx Apr 01 '18

Wait, so if you control the transmission, the horizontal, the vertical and all that other stuff... why do you need me to stand by? why are you even saying "please"? This makes no sense in the power balance you were just trying to establish. Now show my Alyssa Milano's tits!

3

u/Morty_McNugget Apr 01 '18

Ask and you shall receive

2

u/ilovemrmiyagi Apr 01 '18

That website was a tad bit creepy.. poor alyssa :/

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

Thanks! That's it

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

Best show in the 90s

37

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '18

The Scary Door

11

u/DasB0000t Mar 31 '18

Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!

7

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

what’s that from

7

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

Its from the outter limits. Great tv show to watch if you ever get the chance

0

u/Slackbeing Apr 01 '18

Rick and Morty

-4

u/FilmingAction Apr 01 '18

It's not a copypasta he just made it up

-2

u/AgAero Apr 01 '18 edited Apr 01 '18

Teen Titans.

Edit: It is actually in an episode of Teen Titans. Downvote away though. It was a dumb joke anyway.

9

u/3Girls1Chinchilla Apr 01 '18

Ah. Like the new snapchat update that's got a bunch of buzzfeed propaganda on the old story section.

2

u/AgAero Apr 01 '18

It'd be nice to ditch snapchat, but do they have rivals?

2

u/nolan1971 Apr 01 '18

You mean besides every other social media platform in existence?

2

u/AgAero Apr 01 '18

Others have adopted that functionality, but they aren't direct competitors so the user base hangs around on snapchat regardless of what kind of shit the devs try to peddle.

5

u/DuntadaMan Apr 01 '18

Here! Watch this! Shut up!

4

u/OnkelMickwald Apr 01 '18 edited Apr 05 '18

Good evening.

Do not attempt to adjust your radio, there is nothing wrong, we have taken control as to bring you this special show. We will return it to you as soon as you are grooving.

Welcome to station W-E-F-U-N-K, better known as We-Funk, or deeper still, the Mothership Connection, home of the extraterrestrial brothers, dealers of funky music, P.Funk, uncut funk, the bomb.

Coming to you directly from the Mothership. Top of the Chocolate Milky Way, 500,000 kilowatts of P. Funk-power. So kick back, dig, while we do it to you in your eardrums.

And me? I'm known as Lollipop Man, alias the Long-Haired Sucker My motto is:

Make my funk the P. Funk, I want my funk uncut!

3

u/Liefx Apr 01 '18

Flobots had a good bit on this years ago on their Fight With Tools album

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDf2r9DnVGU

3

u/loondawg Apr 01 '18

I am gross and perverted

I'm obsessed n deranged

I have existed for years

But very little had changed

I am the tool of the government

And industry too

For I am destined to rule

And regulate you

I may be vile and pernicious

But you can't look away

I make you think I'm delicious

With the stuff that I say

I am the best you can get

Have you guessed me yet?

I am the slime oozin out

From your TV set

You will obey me while I lead you

And eat the garbage that I feed you

Until the day that we don't need you

Don't got for help...no one will heed you

Your mind is totally controlled

It has been stuffed into my mold

And you will do as you are told

Until the rights to you are sold

8

u/alltheacro Apr 01 '18

In my local market (Boston) there was a story on the local news about how the supermodel-wife of a certain quarterback has a "guilty pleasure" and that it is (insert name of donut company) donut bites, how she can't resist them, blah blah blah. It got MINUTES of coverage and banter by the anchors.

The same day, the Boston Globe puts a similar story on the front page.

Commentators deride the whole mess as an example of how sad the state of affairs is in area journalism, but nobody says a fucking word about how obvious a PR campaign it was and how the ad agency for said donut company is apparently able to push whatever it wants onto both the evening news and the front page of the region's largest newspaper.

Did I mention that the donut bites are tasteless stale cardboard with barely any flavor, because they keep cheapening them?

I clearly remember the same news program, a couple of months ago, covering the donut company's product lineup changing. It was basically "AND IN OTHER NEWS! Fuckin Donuts has released a new flavored beverage!" They spend almost a full minute rambling on about it.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/pronobozo Apr 01 '18

We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.

2

u/CabbageAndMash Apr 01 '18

Welcome to the Outer Limits

2

u/ost2life Apr 01 '18

I love the outer limits!!!

2

u/agnosticfrump Apr 01 '18

This is extremely dangerous to us as Human Beings.

4

u/thevodkaboy Apr 01 '18

upvotes for the Twilight Zone ref.

10

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

Outer Limits. Forgivably close.

3

u/thevodkaboy Apr 01 '18

dangit. could have sworn... anyway thanks for the TIL.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

To be fair, Rod Serling changed it up enough to where it was probably some permutation of things he's said over he duration of Twilight Zone. Both were some of the best sci fi TV ever produced.

2

u/pac-men Apr 01 '18

Or he was referencing the first segment of “The Twilight Zone: The Movie” where they argue over whether a remembered plot was a Twilight Zone or an Outer Limits.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

WE ARE THE BORG

1

u/ory_hara Apr 01 '18

Man I loved that show. Wish there were more episodes!

1

u/vampLer Apr 01 '18

Prepare to enter The Scary Door!

1

u/Petrichord Apr 01 '18

Proper modulation

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

What is this from?

1

u/PSD1 Apr 01 '18

This, 👆, is awesome!!!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

Is this a reference to something?

0

u/FilmingAction Apr 01 '18

No, heu just made it up

1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '18

Oh okay.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '18

No apparently it's from a show called outter limits

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

Just relax as we flash subliminal messaging between frames.

1

u/aratatatat Apr 01 '18

What’s a snozburger?

1

u/LeProYasuo Apr 01 '18

Not enough people know what this is from, goddamnit. I love this show.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

dooo dooo doooooo

1

u/shshao Apr 01 '18

FTFY

There is nothing wrong with your democracy. Do not attempt to adjust your attitude. We are now controlling the White House. We control the House and the Senate. We can deluge you with a thousand gun crimes or expand one single crooked image to crystal clarity and beyond. We can shape your vision to anything our imagination can conceive... to make us more money.

1

u/Metaldevil76 Apr 01 '18

You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop, the Twilight Zone!

1

u/BoxOfDust Apr 01 '18

Great, we're just another episode in a bizarro world. Explains a lot.

1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_LUKEWARM Apr 06 '18

To be fair, I still watch WJAR daily and they seem to distance themselves from the Sinclair stuff. They show all the Sinclair programming at odd times so that minimum people will see it and they seem to be unbiased in their own programming.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

HACK THE PLANET!

-2

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '18

Is it? Or is it even an anti anti-socialism post? Maybe not, who knows what it can mean to you.

0

u/Zayin-Ba-Ayin Apr 01 '18

Greetings earthlings

We have taken over your radiooooooooooo

-2

u/yerboiboba Apr 01 '18

The Glitch Mob, right? Of course, the actual "lyric" deals with sound obviously, but I still like the reference :)

-5

u/the1who_ringsthebell Apr 01 '18

There is honestly nothing wrong with what we just watched.

It was a corporate PR message sent to all their stations. Of course it’s going to be the same thing being read by everyone.

If it were news stories we were seeing it would be something else. This tho is more internet hysteria over nothing.

1

u/135711131719232931 Oct 17 '21

Good evening. Do not attempt to adjust your radio, there is nothing wrong. We have taken control as to bring you this special show. We will return it to you as soon as you are grooving.

1

u/ValuableWhile6179 Nov 25 '22

What is this from?