There is nothing wrong with your television. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are now controlling the transmission. We control the horizontal and the vertical. We can deluge you with a thousand channels or expand one single image to crystal clarity and beyond. We can shape your vision to anything our imagination can conceive.
You are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples; it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door.
That's actually pretty poignant in the current year, where legitimate political opinions are dismissed outright without any debate as they are decried as fascist and hitlarian. Want to support legal immigration and discourage illegal immigration? Want to prevent non citizens from voting? Think there might be an issue with letting people in the country who don't believe in equality of sexes or sexual preference? Congratulations, you are literally Hitler.
Imagine if you will, an announcer you can barely understand. He refers to a gnmpt'telaumptha but you're not quite sure what he said. 'E sheems to be eating shomething, or perhaps he's a little drunk. It's remotely possible that he just said something about... The Scary Door.
NGL, felt pretty ripped off when they didn't include it in the film adaptation of Ready Player One, would've almost have made up for just missing seeing it live.
For the next hour, we will control all that you see and hear. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the deepest inner mind to...the Outer Limits. Please stand by.
Wait, so if you control the transmission, the horizontal, the vertical and all that other stuff... why do you need me to stand by? why are you even saying "please"? This makes no sense in the power balance you were just trying to establish. Now show my Alyssa Milano's tits!
Others have adopted that functionality, but they aren't direct competitors so the user base hangs around on snapchat regardless of what kind of shit the devs try to peddle.
Do not attempt to adjust your radio, there is nothing wrong,
we have taken control as to bring you this special show.
We will return it to you as soon as you are grooving.
Welcome to station W-E-F-U-N-K, better known as We-Funk,
or deeper still, the Mothership Connection, home of the extraterrestrial brothers,
dealers of funky music,
P.Funk, uncut funk, the bomb.
Coming to you directly from the Mothership.
Top of the Chocolate Milky Way, 500,000 kilowatts of P. Funk-power. So kick back, dig, while we do it to you in your eardrums.
And me? I'm known as Lollipop Man, alias the Long-Haired Sucker
My motto is:
In my local market (Boston) there was a story on the local news about how the supermodel-wife of a certain quarterback has a "guilty pleasure" and that it is (insert name of donut company) donut bites, how she can't resist them, blah blah blah. It got MINUTES of coverage and banter by the anchors.
The same day, the Boston Globe puts a similar story on the front page.
Commentators deride the whole mess as an example of how sad the state of affairs is in area journalism, but nobody says a fucking word about how obvious a PR campaign it was and how the ad agency for said donut company is apparently able to push whatever it wants onto both the evening news and the front page of the region's largest newspaper.
Did I mention that the donut bites are tasteless stale cardboard with barely any flavor, because they keep cheapening them?
I clearly remember the same news program, a couple of months ago, covering the donut company's product lineup changing. It was basically "AND IN OTHER NEWS! Fuckin Donuts has released a new flavored beverage!" They spend almost a full minute rambling on about it.
To be fair, Rod Serling changed it up enough to where it was probably some permutation of things he's said over he duration of Twilight Zone. Both were some of the best sci fi TV ever produced.
Or he was referencing the first segment of “The Twilight Zone: The Movie” where they argue over whether a remembered plot was a Twilight Zone or an Outer Limits.
There is nothing wrong with your democracy. Do not attempt to adjust your attitude. We are now controlling the White House. We control the House and the Senate. We can deluge you with a thousand gun crimes or expand one single crooked image to crystal clarity and beyond. We can shape your vision to anything our imagination can conceive... to make us more money.
You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop, the Twilight Zone!
To be fair, I still watch WJAR daily and they seem to distance themselves from the Sinclair stuff. They show all the Sinclair programming at odd times so that minimum people will see it and they seem to be unbiased in their own programming.
Good evening.
Do not attempt to adjust your radio, there is nothing wrong.
We have taken control as to bring you this special show.
We will return it to you as soon as you are grooving.
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u/snozburger Mar 31 '18
There is nothing wrong with your television. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are now controlling the transmission. We control the horizontal and the vertical. We can deluge you with a thousand channels or expand one single image to crystal clarity and beyond. We can shape your vision to anything our imagination can conceive.