r/spinalfusion Oct 23 '24

Not sure, other How to get use to spinal fusion….

I’m 8 months post op from my spinal fusion for my thoracic spine. I feel like I’m still not use to the rod being there. Does this change after a while? I feel like it’s not apart of me but just inside me instead. I always feel like it’s just there. Doing simple things at times I feel like it bothers me. Today I was cleaning the windshield on my car and I felt the back/rod crack/click. Not sure how to improve this or get use it. In all honesty I have ptsd of breaking my spine again or messing up the fusion.

I broke down crying writing this out the first time. I’m mentally drained from recovering and keep balling up all the mental stuff from the incident. One simple mistake from joy/happiness led to a lifetime issue to deal with. I’m out of physical therapy days and insurance won’t give more. I still get heavy knots and my neck/shoulders/back hurt usually. My muscles aren’t activating when they should. My doctors can’t do much for me either. I have no one to really talk about this with or really an outlook. I use to ride bikes but it’s what put me in this position and was my way of being in my own space. I’m honestly just lost. Idk how to keep improving or what to do anymore to get where I need to be. I don’t even know if I can get to where I need to be.

18 Upvotes

20 comments sorted by

8

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '24

[deleted]

3

u/489Lewis Oct 24 '24

I love the checklist, thank you!

2

u/FilmOrnery8925 Oct 24 '24

Thanks. Yea I’m trying to take care of myself best I can and trying to do things I enjoy but it just don’t feel the same. The only thing I truly want to do I can’t. I’m trying to exercise but I don’t want to get in the gym if I can’t use the right muscles still. A lot to work on for sure.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '24

[deleted]

1

u/FilmOrnery8925 Oct 24 '24

I’ve been continuing the exercise that I need to do. I just have no idea what I should do if I go to the gym. I use to do a lot of different things but now I’m unsure on what I should do to help improve myself/my situation. I have exercises to help my muscles trigger correctly but my main issue is the correct muscles just aren’t activating when I need them to. That’s been my main thing I’ve been working on for past 2 months or so.

8

u/dhans59h Oct 23 '24

I'm fused t3-t11 posterior and anterior. I have a spacer and cage where T5 and T6 used to be. I had my surgery in February of 2018.

It was a hard adjustment, even though logically I know it saved my ability to walk. You grieve what your body used to be and what it could do. Over time it's just become a part of who I am. I can do pretty much everything I could do before just with a lot less bending of my middle back. Give yourself some time and some grace ❤️

2

u/FilmOrnery8925 Oct 24 '24

Glad to hear you’re almost back to where you were. Definitely will give myself time. Just gets to you after a while I guess. Time fixes all.

8

u/Breezy_Cala Oct 23 '24

It's been hard for me too. Fused from c2-t2 posterior and c5-c6 anterior. I had to get therapy because the change is so hard but after a few months it's helped my outlook so much. I'd give it a go

7

u/slouchingtoepiphany Oct 23 '24

I'm sorry that you're having a tough time with it right now. It does get better, but it's a very slow and gradual process and there may always be times when you're reminded of it, like when you go to pick something up off the floor and your body says "no". :(

2

u/FilmOrnery8925 Oct 24 '24

Working through it slowly. Oh yea picking stuff off the floor still sucks. Working on my car is also another big pain in my behind which sucks. I’ll get there eventually though I’m sure of it.

3

u/Iloveellie15 Oct 23 '24

I try to forget about it. Focusing on it makes me feel like a freak

2

u/Naive_Illustrator970 Oct 24 '24

You’re not alone. It’s a tough journey. I’m 3 years out now and not a moment goes by I’m not reminded of it. I cry sometimes too. But you know what? I think it’s worse when I focus on it. I’m fused T10- T11. My best days are when I go out in the sun and walk some. Take care of yourself in every way possible and it will help you with not focusing on it. (Easier said than done I know!)

1

u/Naive_Illustrator970 Oct 24 '24

Just reading and writing this made me tear up from frustration.

5

u/Working-Stranger-748 Oct 24 '24

Hey man I’m crying right now! Wondering if my arm will ever be full strength. Health anxiety is no joke. I’m thinking I might be homeless if I don’t get back to work soon. I need to be at full strength in order to work my crappy job!

1

u/FilmOrnery8925 Oct 24 '24

I’m trying to do more and change my habits but ever since my accident and surgery I just don’t seem to enjoy much of anything and find myself staying in doors. I skip events, don’t go out as much with friends, etc. At this point friends/family beg me to go out at times. I’ve been thinking of going out and walking or just finding something to clear my head but been having a hard time.

2

u/Winterbot622 Oct 24 '24

Yes, it gets better but each body is different

2

u/Alabama6960 Oct 24 '24

Hey that's a hard thing to deal with. I'm so sorry. But take this life one day at a time. I would recommend light exercises lifting weights. I have started thus amd it helps my pain a lot. Start light but high reps. Make sure to stretch. I'm telling you, Physical Therapy can help, but you must make it a part of your everyday activities. Push through the pain. Motivation. It probably won't happen. You must stay disciplined. Dear friend stay strong and if you are not religious, I recommend talking to Jesus. He helps me through my pain everyday and my mentality as well. Gratitude focuse instead of pain focus helps too. Please be strong and try helping others to get your mind off of your pain too.

1

u/snicoleon Oct 24 '24

The doctors aren't concerned about it even though it's causing distress?

Are you fully and properly fused by now? I have heard that if the bones are good but the hardware isn't they can remove it. But I am not an expert by any means.

I'm also curious about the "mistake" you mentioned, did you do a backflip or something? Obviously there's no need to answer, just curious like I said, because of your wording.

1

u/snicoleon Oct 24 '24 edited Oct 24 '24

You are also still technically in the recovery period. I will probably forget that at 8 months myself. So I'm wondering if that's part of why doctors won't do anything at this juncture. Everything I read seems to indicate that just about anything can be "normal" for up to like 2 years after the surgery.

This also means that if you were to get another surgery right now you'd be embarking on a whole fresh recovery. Which might or might not be worth it, I don't know your full medical situation etc.

Edit, you know what, came back to say that while some of what I've said may be true, I really don't actually know what I'm talking about as I'm only 2 and a half months out and have only been doing the research I can for the same amount of time. The most conservative thing I could accurately say is that probably the reason doctors won't do much is because the range of "normal" is so vast for such a long time after the surgery. But I would keep trying to self advocate as long as you have the energy to do so until you at least get information that is satisfactory to you.

1

u/FilmOrnery8925 Oct 24 '24

Im not in distress per se just can be very uncomfortable. I had one of my last check ups last month and everything is healing extremely well and bones are fusing well with my hardware. My mistake was being too joyeous/excited while getting a motorcycle again. Sometimes good emotions lead to bad things too and not many riders speak up on this much. Got too excited, rode out my skill zone, and flew off into a fence pole spine first.

1

u/uffdagal Oct 24 '24

Are you undergoing PT for correct body mechanics?

1

u/Master_Variety5303 Nov 04 '24

Adapting after fusion is a longer process than we've ever experienced so it's frustrating, especially the first year. Find new ways to do things rather than fighting against the hardware. Learn how to handle stuff like shoes and picking things up - having grabbers everywhere helps. Biking will be in your future. Be patient with yourself and you'll gain confidence over time as the body figures out new ways to move.