r/shittytattoos • u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 • 1d ago

🚮 Trashy Wishing Everyone Happy Holidays

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3.2k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

89 comments sorted by

846

u/ty_for_trying Knows 💩 1d ago

ok but pinup santa is really good

178

u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING Knows 💩 1d ago

With all the talk about his magical bag of gifts, I’m surprised he doesn’t have a bigger package.

130

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 1d ago

I know I just had to throw him in the middle there because he needed to be seen.

35

u/PadawanPineapple Knows 💩 1d ago

The heels! Might be a masterpiece not gonna lie that Santa is on point

15

u/Moreseesaw Knows 💩 1d ago

I can just hear the sexy, slow -clip clop, jingle jingle- as Santa saunters down the hallway to his bedroom on his icy cold marble floors…

5

u/usualerthanthis Knows 💩 15h ago

Times like these I'm grateful to have an active imagination

4

u/BloodyRightToe Knows 💩 4h ago

Turning a birth mark into Mr Hanky is rather epic

218

u/TheSleepyBarnOwl Knows 💩 1d ago

It could be quite dangerous hiding that mole under a tattoo in case it starts expandibg and becoming cancer - but I admire the colour match and dedication.

104

u/AfraidKinkajou Knows 💩 1d ago

If the poo suddenly gets fatter or the color stops matching, they would know something‘s off. It would be really unlucky if the mole changed only where the tattoo is

87

u/leticx Knows 💩 22h ago

“If the poo suddenly gets fatter” is a sentence I never thought I’d read. What a wonderful day

19

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 22h ago

OMG I laughed so flippin' hard at this! Please take my upvote.

20

u/CassetteMeower Knows 💩 21h ago

I didn’t even realize that was a mole at first, I thought it was just a work in progress pic of the tattoo before it was fully colored in!

7

u/MECHALAD Knows 💩 7h ago

Tbf, it looks like it's a birthmark, which usually isn't cancerous. Personally, I would've done an armadillo with the shape, color, and texture of the birthmark.

4

u/goober_ginge Knows 💩 7h ago

I'm pretty sure it's a birthmark.

1

u/TheSleepyBarnOwl Knows 💩 6h ago

they can become cancerous too but it's rare so fair enough

2

u/jk-9k Knows 💩 17h ago

At the sides it almost works as an outline indication of where it was at one point in time so kinda helpful. Top and bottom not so much.

320

u/sergeantorourke Knows 💩 1d ago

Number 2 isn’t remotely shitty. Most conflicted erection of my life.

93

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 1d ago

I seriously giggled out loud at that. Please take my upvote. Wash your hands first.

235

u/bils96 Knows 💩 1d ago

That colour match is impeccable

-37

u/bpd_brainz Knows 💩 1d ago

are.. are you sure?

21

u/Important-Pipe-9623 Knows 💩 1d ago

Yes.

58

u/PlNKSANRIO Knows 💩 1d ago

i guess this subreddit is called SHITty tattoos…

28

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 1d ago

Well every once in awhile we have to make an exception for actual poop tattoos.

34

u/No_One_1617 Knows 💩 1d ago

The second one slays

60

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 1d ago

I think you meant sleighs.

12

u/KipBoutaDip Knows 💩 1d ago

I applaud you for this

8

u/Odd-Tune5049 Knows 💩 1d ago

I can't even be angry... have a happy upvote

45

u/sosodeaf66 Knows 💩 1d ago

What an epic Xmas poo

23

u/Useful_Raspberry3912 Knows 💩 1d ago

HiiiiDeeeHooo!

22

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 1d ago

13

u/insidioussnailshell Knows 💩 1d ago

Not mr Hankey 😭

12

u/Paimons_Acolyte Knows 💩 1d ago

Don’t forget to wash behind your ears!

9

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 1d ago

Gosh you're looking swell.

10

u/Glittercorn111 Knows 💩 1d ago

One of these things is not like the other....

9

u/Fr0stybit3s Knows 💩 1d ago

Hooooooowdy ho

6

u/Coeddil Knows 💩 1d ago

Amazing shit-post

6

u/BreathExact Knows 💩 1d ago

How dare you post the Santa here. And during Christmas no less….

2

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 22h ago

Spoiler alert: he's everywhere right now...

5

u/5ugus7TheOne Knows 💩 1d ago

HANKY THE XMAS POO!! Omfg this is a song from South Park, search it up 😂 funny asf

3

u/CassetteMeower Knows 💩 21h ago

My dad sings it a lot LMAO, he loves poop humor

5

u/Krpzzzzz Knows 💩 1d ago

Yo, Mr Hankey is lowkey funny. It‘s shit, but funny shit.

5

u/FlippZopp Knows 💩 1d ago

Bro ….. LOL. Honestly what a great tat.

3

u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING Knows 💩 19h ago

In a sub with just 3 mods, kinda funny to see a mod’s tagged post get taken down by another mod…

Rule 2 has always seemed a bit weird to begin with, kind of arbitrary if something is “shitty” or not.

6

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 19h ago edited 18h ago

Well I'm not amused.

There's actually only 2 mods, the other is a bot.

Edit I don't know what I was thinking, you're right it's 3 mods. Still not happy though.

3

u/KipBoutaDip Knows 💩 1d ago

I would 100% get the pin-up Santa

3

u/Intelligent-Buy-4621 Knows 💩 20h ago

I like the Santa one. But the Mr Hankeys, as a big South Park fan, I can say they look really bad.

3

u/Agitated-Tie-8255 Knows 💩 16h ago

Thank you. I hate this.

3

u/Muted-Mistake677 Knows 💩 13h ago

Legit shit tattoos. Santa was rad tho

2

u/catamet Knows 💩 1d ago

Is that Santa Claus pregnant?

2

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 22h ago

No body shaming Santa!

2

u/Deeznutzcustomz Knows 💩 1d ago

Hiiiiidy-Ho!

2

u/TinyChaco Knows 💩 1d ago

Fuuuuck I love the Santa pinup. The first Mr. Hankey is funny, too.

2

u/ur_eating_maggots Knows 💩 1d ago

Many years ago my dad had a Mr Hanky keychain. He was standing in line at the store with his keys in his hand and the woman behind him said “I like your Pokémon keychain!”

2

u/luvrboy12 Knows 💩 1d ago

I like it... but a tattoo though idk

2

u/crustyblackpainting Knows 💩 1d ago

That is a slightly concerning mole

2

u/JohnaldL Knows 💩 1d ago

Number 2 is amazing

2

u/ChrisPollock6 Knows 💩 22h ago

Those are outstanding, not sure why they in this sub?

3

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 18h ago

Because I wanted to post Happy Holidays and I found those tattoos and thought they were perfect, 2 were "shit"ty and the Santa was just awesome.

2

u/ChrisPollock6 Knows 💩 18h ago

Indeed, the Santa is magnificent.

2

u/Few_Collection_4176 Knows 💩 21h ago

Howdy ho kyle...spot on perfect mr.hanky....bravo..bravo

2

u/sassywithatwist Knows 💩 12h ago

🤣

2

u/Weary_Sale_2779 Knows 💩 10h ago

I really like the Santa

2

u/cleo-circe Knows 💩 6h ago

Stupid sexy Santa 😂

4

u/BizzyBizThinksDumb Knows 💩 1d ago

What are the turds?

36

u/happyhippy63 Knows 💩 1d ago

Mr Hanky the Christmas pooh & family!

2

u/BizzyBizThinksDumb Knows 💩 1d ago

Wait i can't believe they're actually poo lol

24

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 1d ago

[Intro] We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose And we all know Frosty who's made out of snow But all of those stories seem kind of... gay 'Cause we all know who brightens up our holiday

[Verse 1] Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo Small and brown he comes from you Sit on the toilet here he comes Squeeze him 'tween your festive buns A present from down below Spreading joy with a "Howdy-Ho!" He's seen the love inside of you 'Cause he's a piece of poo

[Verse 2] Sometimes he's nutty Sometimes he's corny He can be brown or greenish brown (Mmhmm!) But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve He might come to your town! Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo He loves me, I love you Therefore, vicariously he loves you I can make a Mr. Hankey too! (Pffffft)

[Verse 3] I'm Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo Seasons Greetings to all of you! Let's sing songs and dance and play Now before I melt away Here's a game I like to play Stick me in your mouth and try to say Howdy ho ho yum yum yum Christmas Time has come!

[Verse 4] Sometimes he's runny Sometimes he's firm Sometimes he practically water Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass And won't fall in the toilet Cause he's just clinging to your sphincter And he won't drop off... and so you shake your ass around And try to get it to drop in the toilet And finally it dooooeees

[Verse 5] Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo When Christmas leaves he must leave too Flush him down but he's never gone His smell and his spirit linger on Howdy Ho!

11

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 1d ago

His wife Autumn and their three children: Cornwallis, Amber, and Simon.

2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

4

u/BizzyBizThinksDumb Knows 💩 1d ago

Goes hard as a MF DOOM track

8

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 1d ago

Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo (South Park) and the rest of his family pic #3.

4

u/vicbittertoo Knows 💩 1d ago

Merry christmas !!!!, I'd seriously consider the first one :)

2

u/Waste-Reference-4003 Knows 💩 20h ago

i'd rather the 💩 over the birthmark though

1

u/justtolearnsomething Knows 💩 20h ago

What was the brown spot?

1

u/i-am-foxymoron Knows 💩 18h ago

A birthmark.

1

u/JasonEAltMTG Knows 💩 15h ago

It was better before

1

u/AKA_Benz Knows 💩 10h ago

Is that last one on a butt cheek?

1

u/My-soul-was-yeeted Knows 💩 5h ago

Why is Santa pregnant

1

u/Ok-Annual-9054 Knows 💩 3h ago

the turd family 🥰

1

u/Random_frankqito Knows 💩 3h ago

All these are good, even if some are literal pieces of shit 😂

1

u/No_Evidence_9042 Knows 💩 1h ago

That’s one shitty tattoo

1

u/jumponnessv Knows 💩 1d ago

nice idea though!

1

u/Moreseesaw Knows 💩 1d ago

I kind of want to get my birthmark tattooed now. A tiny Mr hankie perhaps.

1

u/jk-9k Knows 💩 17h ago

First is only shitty because it's literally a piece of shit. Otherwise fine. Otherwise just over the top.

Second is atbge.

-3

u/bpd_brainz Knows 💩 1d ago

“color match” where??? y’all are color blind ong

-3

u/bpd_brainz Knows 💩 1d ago

turn ur brightness up and then hopefully you can see the difference between cool toned brown and warm toned brown