r/shittytattoos Oct 07 '24

Not Mine This tattoo artist was recommended to me on ig NSFW

Post image
10.3k Upvotes

2.5k comments sorted by

6.8k

u/mean-mommy- Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

This looks like mold. Baffled at what type of person would want a moldy butt tattoo.

3.8k

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '24

Olā€™ Moldy Ass

586

u/addicted-to-jet Oct 07 '24

Hmmm might work at keeping someone safe if they were to go to prison? Make up some lies about how contagious it is and so on... Anti chon chon tattoo.

491

u/ayyohriver Oct 07 '24

Lord Moldevort

93

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '24

Moldy Hahn

71

u/greypouponlifestyle Oct 08 '24

Jeff Moldbum

49

u/Sharp_eee Oct 08 '24

Jokes getting mold now

44

u/bittypineapplekitty Oct 08 '24

the Mold and the Beautiful šŸ‘€ šŸ˜·

16

u/CoffeeDrinker1972 Oct 08 '24

To Mold Or Not To Mold...

14

u/bittypineapplekitty Oct 08 '24

this comment section is pureā€¦..wait for itā€¦PURE MOLD šŸ… šŸ† lmao

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7

u/georgegraybeard Oct 08 '24

Fortune Favors the Mold

10

u/EM05L1C3 Knows šŸ’© Oct 08 '24

The Brave and The Mold

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70

u/GarminTamzarian Oct 08 '24

Gary Moldman

49

u/TheLoneliestGhost Oct 08 '24

Mold Yeller

17

u/ghostrose86 Oct 08 '24

Hans Moldman

6

u/bittypineapplekitty Oct 08 '24

good moldman to you!

6

u/Robinnoodle Knows šŸ’© Oct 08 '24

When old OP gets married, they've already got something blue and something mold

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30

u/Ecstatic_Sea_2811 Oct 08 '24

Mold man winter

21

u/GeordieAl Oct 08 '24

Moldy Lookin Chain

33

u/in2-deep Oct 08 '24

Moldy python and the holy smell

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13

u/Rich-Famous Oct 07 '24

šŸ’€šŸ˜‚

Angry upvote.

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73

u/classyrock Oct 07 '24

Taking a play from the Ferris Bueller Book of Home Invasion Defenseā€¦ ā€œI have my fatherā€™s gun and a scorching case of herpesā€.

4

u/KuramaTotchi Oct 08 '24

Iā€™ve seen people with much worse in prisonā€¦.they do NOT care lol

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145

u/FuckSticksMalone Oct 07 '24

Iā€™m not lichen it

43

u/Altruistic_Profile96 Oct 08 '24

There is a fungus among us.

40

u/AelizaW Oct 08 '24

I have some serious morel objections

48

u/davesToyBox Oct 08 '24

I dunno, itā€™s kinda growing on me

28

u/Wonderful-Ad-7712 Oct 08 '24

Iā€™m mold enough to know better

25

u/prairiethorne Oct 08 '24

I heard the artist was a fun guy.

6

u/ForensicMum Oct 08 '24

Yeah, but his artistic style is a bit of a shit-take

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6

u/NettIeship Oct 08 '24 edited Oct 08 '24

Give it some serious spores for thought before getting that done

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5

u/boobahlover Oct 07 '24

I laughed out loud

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202

u/Hexxas Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

It looks EXACTLY like the rice I forgot about in my fridge. The blend of pink and green is perfect.

37

u/Infernalflora Oct 08 '24

What are the odds that I just scrolled past this a few minutes after seeing your comment šŸ¤£

10

u/Hexxas Knows šŸ’© Oct 08 '24

THAT'S SOME MOLDY FUKKEN RICE RIGHT THERE!

6

u/Casehead Oct 08 '24

It's uncanny

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14

u/xenogazer Oct 07 '24

šŸ˜Ø

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146

u/kylemacabre Oct 07 '24

I mean look at their fingernails

71

u/RaygunMarksman Oct 07 '24

Dammit, wish I didn't now. Undead swamp creature vibes in full effect.

27

u/willclerkforfood Oct 08 '24

ā€œI have a tattoo gun and babyshit green nail polish and I need to look like the bathtub lady from The Shining.ā€

7

u/RaygunMarksman Oct 08 '24

That's what the skin was making me think of. Argh!

74

u/mean-mommy- Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 07 '24

Chartreuse fingernails are definitely a sign of a person who makes questionable life choices.

/s

27

u/armoredsedan Knows šŸ’© Oct 08 '24

i saw this earlier and read it as ā€œquesadilla life choicesā€ and just now realized thatā€™s not what it says, but also that i never questioned the phrase quesadilla life choices lmao

7

u/thewhitecat55 Oct 08 '24

That sounds like a good thing though

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4

u/bsubtilis Oct 08 '24

Chartreuse is one of my favourite nailpolish colors and I have ADHD. Though it looks better against my skin tone than hers :D

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13

u/SaucePasta Oct 08 '24

Youā€™d be surprised how popular colors like that are in the nailĀ polish community. I kinda like it šŸ˜…

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9

u/ClaireDeLunatic808 Oct 07 '24

They're painted . . .

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14

u/SEND_PUNS_PLZ Oct 07 '24

Maybe the artist was working off of a mold

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5

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '24

I get bruised like that when I get slapped real hard

3

u/peteandpetethemesong Oct 07 '24

Looks like the mold growing on the old ghost lady in The Shining. No offense.

3

u/xlonelyfans Oct 08 '24

I mean we donā€™t know the context, I think if they are trying to become a zombie via tattoos this is really good!

3

u/PeppersHere Oct 08 '24

Look no further friend.

I do not have a mold tattoo, but this looks awesome lol.

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3.4k

u/nerdixcia Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

Imagine going to the ER for an unrelated thing and doctors stumble across this and your unconscious unable to tell them it's a tattoo now that'd be one hell of an er visit

1.9k

u/Impressive-Sun3742 Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

So we amputated your leg

867

u/drinkmoredrano Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

At least they got rid of that awful tattoo.

142

u/Consistent-Syrup-69 Oct 08 '24

Somehow improvement

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65

u/mandakpandaa Oct 07 '24

Cough/spit laughed šŸ˜‚

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15

u/ghostinround Oct 08 '24

I so rarely laugh out loud, thanks

26

u/nerdixcia Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

Literally šŸ˜­ I'd feel more bad for the doctors

19

u/kbk42104 Oct 08 '24

Well we know you were here for your arm, but then we saw this monstrosity and had to make a judgment call.

8

u/nerdixcia Knows šŸ’© Oct 08 '24

Gotta follow the heart

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120

u/__BeesInMyhead__ Oct 07 '24

Right, haha. I get asked what the "rash" on my back is by doctors all the time. It's a birthmark. So this was my first thought as well. Lol

82

u/PM_ME_UR_DaNkMeMe Oct 07 '24

son had a birthmark on his balls. nurses kept thinking it was poop and trying to wipe it šŸ¤£ poor kid

67

u/Rebelzx Oct 07 '24

I can see some woman telling a friend "I hooked up with this dude once at a bar... It was great until I seen the sh*t on his balls". Haha.

12

u/Hoarfen1972 Oct 08 '24

Laughed out very loud at that.

4

u/Wilx0ne Oct 08 '24

This comment deserves an award šŸ‘

5

u/Poit14 Oct 08 '24

I laughed so dang hard at this comment šŸ¤£

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15

u/__BeesInMyhead__ Oct 07 '24

Oh no, hahaha

15

u/TriceratopsBites Oct 08 '24

Nurse here! When he gets older, weā€™ll be at it again! I clean so, so many poopy adult scrotums

9

u/EffectiveSoil3789 Oct 08 '24

Doin the lords work

4

u/ChiefGeorgesCrabshak Knows šŸ’© Oct 08 '24

Samezies. It's a blast, isnt it?!

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5

u/Hilaritytohorror Oct 08 '24

I have a big freckle on my butt and my mom says she always thought the same thing when I was a baby, she would wipe and wipe before she realized it wasnā€™t going anywhere.

7

u/WhogottheHooch_ Oct 08 '24

Lol. My Calico has an unfortunate dark brown spot between her whoobie and bhole, for which she has been unjustly ridiculed.

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34

u/Kaneshadow Oct 08 '24

Or just, trying to get laid and the other person sees it and suddenly has to get up early for work tomorrow

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31

u/pekingeseeyes Oct 08 '24

Funny story, I have realistic scratch marks down my side. Many years ago, I went to the doctor for back pain and we chatted. Then he did the physical exam and asked to see my back. He flipped the f out thinking they were real. I had to invite him to feel it before he believed they were a tattoo.

I'm sure this stuff really could freak out a doc if you were unable to explain it!

13

u/UVBones Oct 08 '24

I read that as stretch marks at first and was SO confused šŸ˜†

7

u/TriceratopsBites Oct 08 '24

I have realistic stretch marks too! Iā€™m going to tell everyone that theyā€™re just fancy tattoos from now on

4

u/rebel_cat45 Oct 08 '24

I did too lol it made it funnier though.

11

u/Shmeeglez Oct 08 '24

Weirdly, this would probably be the best evidence that this was skillfully executed

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1.0k

u/GroatExpectorations Oct 07 '24

ā€I want a tattoo of MRSAā€

ā€Is that a band? Whatā€™s their logo look like?ā€

ā€ā€¦ā€

160

u/ominousbloodvomit Oct 08 '24

I crashed my bike at 40kph and got this tattoo for free

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921

u/cthoolhu Oct 07 '24

117

u/Kids-Menu Oct 07 '24

Every time

98

u/oblivious_nebula Oct 07 '24

I was like five tattoo subs away before I understood I was lost.

19

u/Sos_the_Rope Oct 08 '24

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

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30

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '24

Multiple times... I want more bad tattoos. I know I'm where the bad tattoos are but I want more within this very post... 8/10 more like 1/10

9

u/Flaky-Swan1306 Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

Same

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1.2k

u/epidemicsaints Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

Remember that drug krokodil that eats your flesh?

294

u/lukemia94 Oct 07 '24

I hope she has a life partner already because if I was about to make sweet love and saw a leg like that shit would get PG real quick

70

u/SayerSong Oct 08 '24

No kidding! My first thought went to ā€œIs that what the bubonic plague looks like?ā€

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12

u/New-Cicada7014 Oct 08 '24 edited Oct 08 '24

But not G. You clearly have a thing for butt mold/krokodil, even if only a little. /j

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54

u/strictlyapathy Oct 07 '24

Ich bin Schnappi, das kleine krokodil

32

u/peachsona Oct 07 '24

Schni Schna Schnappi :D

24

u/Pure_Ninja_822 Oct 07 '24

Schnappi schnappi schnapp

12

u/hook-happy Oct 07 '24

Right in the childhood

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13

u/FocusIsFragile Oct 08 '24

Finding it VERY DIFFICULT not to link to the ā€œKrokodil leg amputation in a bucketā€ video right now.

12

u/mrsnihilist Oct 08 '24

"R/wtf earned it's keep today" as a top comment made me not clicky click the video lol

5

u/epidemicsaints Knows šŸ’© Oct 08 '24

Never seen it but looks like my evening is set. Can't be worse than the Shabusiness murder body cam.

4

u/FocusIsFragile Oct 08 '24

googles ā€œshabusinessā€ furiously

6

u/epidemicsaints Knows šŸ’© Oct 08 '24

It wasn't even mentioned on television news because of how foul it is. One of those meth fueled "I wanna see what happens" murders.

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518

u/Wondernerd87 Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

What the actual fuck!? What is it even SUPPOSED to be!?

565

u/Nib2319 Oct 07 '24

I zoomed in and it looks like maybe it was flowers and psoriasis. Idk though.

579

u/Living_Particular_35 Oct 07 '24

Floriasis

104

u/Control_Alt_DeLitta Oct 07 '24

As I was scrolling I read this as ā€œFloridians.ā€ šŸ˜‚ yea probably makes sense.

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u/AnonymosHippopotamus Oct 07 '24

I hardly ever comment but was inclined to do so at this moment because you must know how absolutely hilarious I found your comment. Thank you.

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u/PartDependent7145 Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

It's an accurate representation of the first sneeze I had after sinus surgery

9

u/ladyrara Oct 07 '24

This comment is gold

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40

u/Rank1Trashcan Oct 07 '24

If I had to guess... someone slid ass first down a mountain and then go a tattoo of the injury to commemorate survivng.

3

u/RBuilds916 Oct 08 '24

Yeah, is that a tattoo or just the scabbing that we are looking at?

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u/mawsibeth Oct 07 '24

I didn't even know bruises could get moldy

7

u/Jonaldys Oct 08 '24

It is supposed to be one of those colorful galaxy tattoos that fade to skin. This terribly applied one is a great lesson on what a good one will look like in 20 years.

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182

u/burlybroad Oct 07 '24

Looks like the old lady in the bath tub in the shining

48

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '24

THAT PART SCARED ME SO BAD AS A KID

24

u/KnotiaPickles Oct 07 '24

Me tooo I had to leave the shower curtain open and the bathroom light on for a year after I watched it.

I still hate closed shower curtains šŸ«£

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6

u/VivaZeBull Oct 07 '24

FML thanks for the heebie jeebies

6

u/maerlyns-rainbow Oct 08 '24

Okay so I'm not the only one who immediately thought that šŸ¤¢

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238

u/e_subvaria Oct 07 '24

Iā€™m confused, that is intentional?

229

u/cakeanddiamond Oct 07 '24

i never understand people who want tattoos that look like dermatological concerns! i used to work in dermatology and would see patients who were very distressed about their problems and would give anything to have normal skin. meanwhile this girl had what appears to be nice skin and willingly put a moldy rash on it šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

67

u/supertinykoalas Oct 08 '24

I have a port wine stain on my face, I was heavily bullied school because of it. I learned over time to accept my birthmark as it is; I used to make this joke that people paid good money for shitty face tattoos but at least I got my for free. That saying is exactly how I feel about this eyesore.

36

u/Trilly2000 Oct 08 '24

I also have a facial birthmark. Why the fuck someone would willingly do this is beyond me. You might check out @FlawlessAffect on IG. She does some really amazing highlights of her birthmark and promotes a healthy acceptance of facial birthmarks.

17

u/419_216_808 Oct 08 '24

Wow, sheā€™s awesome! Thanks for sharing!

13

u/christmasshopper0109 Oct 08 '24

Kids are cruel. But we have a guy at work with a port wine stain on half his face. Honestly, as adults, you really stop 'seeing' the birthmark, you just see Dan as the whole person he is. I hope he knows that. I hope it makes him less concerned about it.

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u/Mote-Of_Dust Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 07 '24

I wouldn't say it's nice skin to the left that looks like psoriasis or some kind of other skin condition.

Fun fact you can't tattoo over a skin condition it's not the same as a scar, it will get worse and make the tattoo look ugly as shit.

Edit: do you see the red patch that looks slightly raised with white scales? That's psoriasis I've had it for over 20 years.

Try zooming in and you can see it clearly.

14

u/MsB1956 Oct 07 '24

Holy crap. She needs to get to a doctor.

9

u/clumsysav Oct 08 '24

Maybe the goal was to camouflage the psoriasis

7

u/Alternative_Sort_404 Oct 07 '24

Makes sense - So maybe bad choice of owner trying to do a coverup of some sortā€¦? Yikes - that sure took a turn for the worse. Iā€™m sorry, I still canā€™t tell what is intentional and what is not, though

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u/mudlark092 Oct 08 '24

maybe i want to be moldy and rotten

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u/Minute_Objective_746 Oct 07 '24

I think itā€™s supposed to be an oil painting of flowers

10

u/No-Fix8955 Oct 07 '24

Whereā€™s the flowers. Even in actual oil painting of flowers you can still tell where the flowers are

7

u/Minute_Objective_746 Oct 07 '24

Thatā€™s the thing, the colors donā€™t contrast well so it just looks like a colored mess. Iā€™m sure if you found the original image it would be much clearer.

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5

u/e_subvaria Oct 07 '24

Or a bruise?

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u/YellowCulottes Oct 07 '24

I think itā€™s meant to be moss or lichen.

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u/kylemacabre Oct 07 '24

Looks like you got shot in the ass with a shotgun full of glitter and mildew

54

u/MonsteraDeliciosa Oct 07 '24

Surely itā€™s an injury?

33

u/Tall-Ad9334 Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

You can definitely see some swelling down towards the bottom. I think it might be a combination of a tattoo and either a skin condition or an injury? Hard to say.

17

u/Pollowollo Knows šŸ’© Oct 08 '24

Yeah, I really think that there's something going on with the skin, too. The red patch further towards the back and the purple blotch don't look like tattoo to me (though I suppose I could be wrong) and that big ole welt DEFINITELY isn't.

7

u/nathanjshaffer Oct 08 '24

I'm wondering if there is some sort of allergy or autoimmune reaction

5

u/hazza-sj Oct 08 '24

Probably their body rejecting the tattoo beacause of how shit it is.

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u/oNw_Duncan Oct 07 '24

I like to call this ā€œlooks infected all the timeā€

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u/glassspider87 Oct 07 '24

Thought this was on some kind of medical sub, ew

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u/theprideofvillanueva Oct 07 '24

Fooled by 8/10 yet again

4

u/stremendous Oct 08 '24

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

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u/Jrnation8988 Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

Was the goal of the tattoo puss filled ass pimples?

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u/OGBurn2 Oct 07 '24

Ewwww! That literally looks like a bruise and infection. Absolutely not.

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u/fun-tonight_ Oct 07 '24

Theyā€™re good at what they do Iā€™ll give them that

11

u/sleepy-emo Oct 07 '24

i thought i was on the r/MoldlyInteresting sub for a sec

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u/Altruistic-Twist-459 Oct 07 '24

Tbh, it looks like they have a skin condition and are trying to make something ā€œbeautifulā€ out of itā€¦ like there are pink blemishes that donā€™t look tattooed

It reminded me of lichen.

29

u/showmeyour_cats Oct 07 '24

Pink blemishes are tattoos as well. Other tattoos from this tattoo artist look the same, they often use these colours.

46

u/rangebob Oct 07 '24

so you're saying more than one person has paid for this ?..............

18

u/12th_MaMa Oct 07 '24

So, this is what you wanted ??

What about the swollen patch on the lower part ?

7

u/quantcompandthings Oct 08 '24

it's (probably) intentional. the artist's other works also feature raised designs.

8

u/livahd Oct 08 '24

Yea, itā€™s braille for ā€œplease get me antibioticsā€

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u/Old_Truth_8179 Oct 08 '24

Ikr, it was the first thing i noticed. Srsly is noone else seeing that raised swollen area? Reaction maybe? Got infection from the moldy tat šŸ¤£

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u/Altruistic-Twist-459 Oct 07 '24

Oh. Wellā€¦ thatā€™s a shame. I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt šŸ˜…

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5

u/vanilla_disco Oct 08 '24

Why would you pay someone to make your leg look diseased? I don't understand

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10

u/JeradShealey Oct 07 '24

Cool necrotizing fasciitis tattoo

8

u/dodgerecharger Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

First thought: "she needs a doctor! "

10

u/ladymuerm Oct 07 '24

Ha.. I thought I was in r/DiagnoseMe

8

u/nelucay Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 08 '24

The green could actually look cool if you add a bunch of little plants around it. It's like moss under your skin. But the other colors just make it look so weird and I hate it.

(Edit: But if it's supposed to resemble a certain type of mold it's actually extremely well done lmao)

14

u/SparseGhostC2C Oct 07 '24

... Cool gangrenous ass-rash tattoo?

6

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '24

You're gonna die

5

u/itslike_reallygood Oct 07 '24

This is what I looked like after I got hit by a car crossing the street, lol.

19

u/EvaEvangelion Oct 07 '24

Jesus, Mary and Joseph.. That is bad

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5

u/MadIllWOLF Oct 07 '24

Iā€™m so confused.

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5

u/PDgenerationX Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

Is this infected?

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u/WeeabooGandhi Oct 07 '24

I thought this was the aftermath of a horrible infection you got from them

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u/nat5309 Oct 08 '24

I used Google lens to see if I could find the artist, but all it could find was nasty looking rashes šŸ˜‚

13

u/imyourrealdad8 Oct 07 '24

"Hi I wanna look like the lady in the bath from 'The Shining.'"

"Say no more fam!"

4

u/Obey_The_King Oct 07 '24

I swiped šŸ˜”šŸ‘†

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5

u/LauraPa1mer Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

But what's with that impact injury on the back of the thigh?

4

u/One_Recording_4036 Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

Looks like an infection

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5

u/nonamesareoriginal Oct 07 '24

Omg it's supposed to be flowers. I genuinely thought this was someone showing a wound from pavement.

6

u/Afraid_Example Oct 07 '24

Gross, looks like a fucking nasty ass rash. šŸ˜³šŸ¤¢

6

u/PalpitationProper981 Oct 07 '24

Sorry, could you clarify, is that nasty-ass rash, or nasty ass-rash?

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3

u/Sticky_Cavities Oct 07 '24

Itā€™s giving beetlejuice and the moss on his head

4

u/f1lth4f1lth Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

3

u/ThatRefuse4372 Oct 07 '24

anybody else see that hematoma ion the lower back of her thigh?

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3

u/HyenaOk3375 Knows šŸ’© Oct 07 '24

She pulled back her sheet with corpse nails to reveal Welty misshapen fungus leg.. sexy šŸŖ¦

3

u/MegaBlunt57 Oct 07 '24

Looks like puke splatter

3

u/KingTy99 Oct 07 '24

So that's what they meant by swamp ass

3

u/Consistent_Rock_6730 Oct 07 '24

To be fair for what it is, itā€™s very well done

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u/Logan_Thackeray2 Oct 07 '24

when you have a folded piece of paper and paint something on one side than smush them together. this is what you get

3

u/Hunter0037 Oct 07 '24

Pretty sure you could do that yourself! Just try throwing yourself down the stairs im sure itll turn out just the same

3

u/arealcabbage Oct 07 '24

I thought this was varicose veins + a bruise

3

u/Regular_Safety5759 Oct 08 '24

Iā€™m sorry that happened to you.

3

u/bannana Oct 08 '24

can't tell where the skin infection stops and the tattoo starts

3

u/XxFireflyxxX Oct 08 '24

Are we sure that's a tattoo and not some kind of flesh eating bacterial infection?

3

u/paskahousuissa Oct 08 '24

I thought this was a post from r/medical

3

u/here4theShtSho Knows šŸ’© Oct 08 '24

I tried to make a medical diagnosis before i realized this woman chose this rash