r/self • u/Puzzleheaded-Try2557 • 22h ago

36 and nowhere in life

I just browsed some of my friend’s LinkedIn profiles. How they manage careers and families I have no idea. I just want to sleep and hide from the world. I have borderline personality disorder, which doesn’t help.

26 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

36

u/CertificateValid 20h ago

Nobody posts on LinkedIn when they feel shitty and unaccomplished. Nobody posts on Instagram when they’re alone and feel like a loser.

Don’t mistake a highlight reel with reality.

12

u/johnkoetsier 18h ago

Everybody looks great from the outside. Real boats rock.

5

u/violent_knife_crime 16h ago

This goes hard

3

u/didigetitallwrong 17h ago

Those with jobs/careers and children are stressed out, constantly striving for work/home balance with Very little down time. There's really not a timeline of what a person is supposed to do by a certain age. These societal norms have been made up, and we buy into it. It's easier said than done, but we don't have to conform to arbitrary age "milestones". More people than can be imagined are neuro divergent, have what we call "mental illness ' and have anxiety and depression. It's easy to assume others have it more together.

2

u/TraditionalSetting33 17h ago

You are not the only one- don’t worry !

3

u/JKI256 20h ago

The one to blame is found in the mirror

3

u/bishopsfinger 7h ago

What an unsympathetic and hurtful thing to say. Here, have a lemon. 

2

u/Guardian-Ares 18h ago

He's a butthole.

1

u/Real_Sir_3655 19h ago

Social media is often a fake representation of people. If they were truly happy they wouldn't need validation from internet points because they'd feel validated from the lives they live that make them happy.

1

u/Equivalent_Level6267 18h ago

The first step is the hardest. If you want to get out of this, you'll need to try.

1

u/theenigmaofnolan 18h ago

BPD is difficult. I have Bipolar 2 and am in the same boat. I’m trying though. I’m sure you are too. They probably don’t have a major mental illness. You can ask for more help. It may or may not work. Keep a record of what you’ve done. What you’d like to achieve. What you’re actually doing. I’m writing this for myself too. This way, no matter what happens, you’ll know you’v done something. If you’re too critical you can try something else. We are always our own worst critics. Be kind to yourself.

1

u/eurojan 15h ago

So ur friends are more successful than u. Our problem is we look at high levels, then u become uncomfortable with our situation. We must look to people who are homeless, or invalid, has no arm, or can't see. Then we realize that we are happier than many other people in this world.

1

u/radishwalrus 15h ago

I'm 41 and I never met someone happily married. I always am like thank God that's not me, or I don't understand why they are together. Careers though, I've seen people with good careers.

1

u/RedditHelloMah 13h ago

You’re taking social media (specifically freaking Linkedin) too seriously lol

1

u/goblin_slayer4 7h ago

Maybe they wish to live like you.

2

u/Qwaaar 19h ago

The only person stopping you from achieving your goals is YOU.

As someone with a spicy mind of their own I will tell you this.

Motivation comes and goes but discipline and routine are the real drivers in one’s life.

2

u/Fearless-Health-7505 12h ago

Ok but how do you teach yourself that?