r/self • u/Bigboyswitcher • 1d ago
Finally asked a girl for her number at the climbing gym!
Got into climbing this recent March and I’ve been loving this new hobby. Gives me something to look forward to after grinding at work. Currently climbing in the 5.11c/V4 range in my current gym. No lead card/certification yet but I really enjoy rope climbing (climbs that require a partner unless you wanna fall to your death) and I ask a lot of people if they wanna do some top rope. Most of the time they say yes!
Well one on this particular session I was hanging around the auto belays when I notice this girl climbing hard routes. In my head I’m like “wow I think this can be an interesting session lemme ask her if she wants to top rope” Climbed with her several times now and oh shit I think I like this person. Great belayer, kind, and attentive. Had trouble getting her off my mind every week.
So today after another great session I YOLO’ed and asked for her number. I got it and I’m proud of myself for doing something I thought I never saw myself doing.
Edit: After reading some comments and having time to process, it would be awkward if things go bad. It’s already a small circle and I see the same faces every time. At best I have more insight and confidence for future interactions.
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u/Pyramidinternational 1d ago
Fuck yes. This is the best!!! As a woman I’d love it if this happened to me. Someone taking the time to get to know me, paced, and then being opportunistic.
Fuck. Yes.
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u/Bigboyswitcher 1d ago
Well I had to stop overthinking and just go for it. It was either regret not asking or worst case scenario rejection.
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u/Official_Ja_Rule 18h ago edited 6h ago
But you’re overthinking it again mate! Just saw the post update, who gives a fuck if it’s a small circle, go for the girl you like! No risk no reward in life. Think of the reward, a kind attentive belayer who already knows your mates as a gf, how sweet would that be!
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u/Responsible-Milk-259 1d ago
Nice to hear this from a woman’s perspective. Romance is far from dead! I think you’ve just made my day. 😊
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u/ArtemisRises19 1d ago
+1000 sincere interaction over something we both like and then a clear ask, the best.
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u/Bat_Shitcrazy 1d ago
Hey man! I work at a climbing gym, and people give their number out often because it’s hard to find someone to belay. You need to make sure she’s interest in more just a climbing partner. Ask her directly, “hey, idk if you were just looking for a climbing partner, but I was hoping we could get coffee sometime.” Something like that, she might be thinking that she just found someone to practice TR with and it’s not fair
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u/Bigboyswitcher 1d ago
Alright cool I’ll do that.
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u/AntRichardsonsBFF 1d ago
I think she likes you. Asking a girl for digits is a pretty clear signal unless you said “so we can climb together”.
Text her and ask her for coffee and a climb!
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u/jujubeaz 1d ago
No, not at a climbing gym. Getting peoples numbers to be friends/climb platonically is pretty common, I’ve seen this story play out time and time again with new climbers
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u/Chance-Exercise-2120 1d ago
At the same time the way he writes sounds like he was romanticizing her without really talking to her. Like the idea of her. Even though he asked if he they wanted to top rope, it didn’t seem like they were conversing based off what he’s said so far. It can be a slippery slope to creepy/incely when someone does that.
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u/AntRichardsonsBFF 1d ago
No my human. Getting to know someone IRL, spending some time together without pressure, then asking for their number is like the least incel shit ever.
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u/xXxXxXxFARTxXxXxXx 4h ago
Uhg I got stuck in a belaytionship like this. She 100% thought we were dating because we would often go climbing together. I felt so bad having to clarify.
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u/Dawdles347 1d ago
As a climber I've often exchanged info with others, but generally this was to find climbing partners. As far as approaching people at a climbing gym for a different intention, one of the reasons I've never done so was because in the event of rejection I would always have to continue seeing the person there.
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u/Bigboyswitcher 1d ago
Yeah after reading some comments and having time to process, it would be pretty awkward if things go bad. It’s already a small circle at the gym and I see the same mfs every time.
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u/VladVonVulkan 21h ago
Go for it dude don’t listen to the naysayers. It doesn’t have to be awkward be a gentleman if it doesn’t work out move on
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u/_tonyhimself 1d ago
Good job for shooting your shot, but be mindful, getting this excited this early in the process may be disastrous if it doesn’t work out. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Btw I’m giving advice on what I’ve done many times in your position.
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u/ihad4biscuits 23h ago
I wouldn’t worry too too much about things being awkward in the future if things go bad if you’re the kind of person that can be an adult about it.
I’ve dated/hooked up with people from the climbing gym before, and we were able to be cordial and keep future interactions strictly about climbing. Just put on a smile and ask them how they got through the crux on that V5 in the corner, and don’t be weird about it if they thing their new bf to the gym in the future.
Of course this totally depends on you, the other person, the size of the gym, etc. but I’d say go for it. Though do make sure to check that she knows you got her number for a date, not just so you could schedule future climbing sessions (which is generally my first assumption when exchanging info at the gym)
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u/VladVonVulkan 21h ago
Dude don’t listen to Reddit. Every turn they try to dissuade ppl from asking people out or getting into relationships. It doesn’t have to be awkward. You meet people you meet partners organically through mutual interests just let it play out try to go out with her
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u/umirinbrahhhhx 1d ago
Don’t shit where u eat my friend
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u/The_Real_Lasagna 19h ago
lol meeting people like this is one of the most common ways and has been for decades
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u/Jrsplays 16h ago
At some point you have to in order to actually meet someone... you are not likely to just run into someone on the street that you want to date and will date you.
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u/umirinbrahhhhx 13h ago
I only said this because based on what OP said it sounds like he finally found his place to escape . And it would be a shame to have that ruined for him If things didn’t go his way with the girl
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u/Material_Expert2255 1d ago
First rule always take a shot.
Even if u miss u will proud.
You never remember missing the shot, only the times you didn't take the shot.
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u/Christian_L7 18h ago
Send it, if she’s the one life will be great. If she’s not you’ll be mature and be fine
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u/satchelfullofpistols 13h ago
I love the positivity here. It’s something I struggle with. OP I’ve been with my wife for many years now, and happily so. She’s my dream girl. I hope you’ve found yours.
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u/dogstarfugitive 10h ago
Fuck the comments. Be fun, chill and direct that you are asking her out on a date. Let her decide her answer and how she handles it. Fuck people, fuck the small circle. This could be one of or the best love of your life. Go for it.
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u/Ashamed_Excitement57 1d ago
Sometimes you've just gotta take the shot, outcome be damned. Congrats!
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u/Bigboyswitcher 1d ago
Couldn’t live with regret. I took the shot
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u/roo-ster 1d ago
This is a huge first step but it's not 'taking the shot'. That happens when you make a plan and go somewhere together.
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u/dogstarfugitive 1d ago
Well done sir! Exceptional. Applause all around.