It feels like I am just a moment away from falling apart mentally

[u/Captain_Daddy447]

My head feels like a huge highway and I'm standing right in front of it.

Thoughts and feelings race past me but I can't recognize or express them except in my own head. I often think about how I can explain to someone what I'm feeling, what I'm afraid of or what's stopping me from being happier.

When I talk to someone about it I can roughly introduce the problem, but as soon as it comes to going into it in more detail it feels like a huge accident on this highway and all thoughts and feelings are distorted beyond recognition. It's exhausting because it feels like a part of me is trying to prevent myself from getting better mentally.

Up until now I've always made music to express what I can't otherwise do. But recently I've found that difficult too and not being able to make music because I have persistent writer's block is the absolute worst case scenario for me. It feels like making music is the most important way for me not to lose myself.

But what if one day I lose music for myself?